How to Holiday Whiskey Cocktail: The Randy Reindeer


A Simple Cocktail that Will Knock Your Tail Off

It’s that time of the month again. No, not time for Aunt Flo to visit; time for whiskey flow to visit. I don’t know about you all but I’m pretty seasonal when it comes to the alcohol I’m drinking. I prefer whiskey in the late fall and winter. Whiskey warms you from the inside out. That’s why I’ve create the Randy Reindeer, a simple whiskey cocktail recipe that you can make in under a minute. You never know how quickly you might need a drink over the holiday season.

Your Sexiest Christmas Ever

Booze and the holiday season always reminds me of one special Christmas way back when I was a freshman in High School. This is a story that I only told me family about last year and they were drunk so they probably don’t remember it. In other words, if you happen to actually know my family, how about you keep your mouth shut about this one, okay?

Anyway. My mom’s favorite drink is a long island iced tea. Since her birthday is a few days before Christmas it is often the case that these are the holiday drink of choice for the adults partaking. During this one particular year, when I was about 15, my mom and grandma and maybe an aunt or two all made themselves these giant long island drinks. If you are unfamiliar a Long Island is all the clear liquors (gin, vodka, tequila, triple sec and rum) + sweet and sour + coca cola / pepsi. Well, this year they all started sipping on their drinks then they started snarling their noses.

“This taste watered down to you?”

“Yeah. You think the ice melted too fast or what?”

“Maybe. Something tastes off.”

“It’s definitely not the best one I’ve ever had.”

“No.”

Meanwhile, I’m sitting in the kitchen with them all trying really hard not to make any sort of facial signs to indicate my guilt. I wanted to both laugh and run out of the room at the same time in order to not get my ass kicked. You see, a month earlier I happened to switch out the vodka under my mom’s sink with water. I assumed no one would notice since the drinks are already so strong, but of course, I was young and dumb and wrong.

I let them drink their watered down drinks never saying a peep about it for over a decade.

This was of course way better than the time during another Christmas when my cousin and I got drunk while no one was looking and then when we were leaving my parents were like, “guess who’s driving home?! The sober teenager.” And looked at me. I can’t remember how I got out of that one exactly, but we’re all still here so I guess I did something right even though I’m so good at doing things all naughty like.

Just like Randi the Reindeer!

Get the Ugly Reindeer Holiday Sweater Here!

In honor of the erotic story about Randi the Reindeer that you can hear my read on Patreon tomorrow, here is the Randy Reindeer Whiskey cocktail drink.

The Randy Reindeer

1 shot of whiskey (I used Bulleit bourbon)

Fill with Apple Cider

Garnish with Cinnamon Stick and Carrot

(You can either go warm or cold with this drink so toss in some ice or use apple cider that’s already been warmed up.)

Drink up.

Get the Probably Whiskey mug here.

Cheers!

Here’s Randi the Reindeer Making the Drink on Camera

Thirsty yet?


Thirsty Thursday: Whiskey Drinking Problems Blues

woman with the blues drinking whiskey

Sometimes a glass of bourbon is exactly what the doctor ordered

Or

Bulleit Bourbon Whiskey to the Rescue

Alright, world. Here’s the deal. I met someone. We hit it off. Then it got rather turbulent and we are currently on a break.

I haven’t been talking about it because I am not sure if I’m even seeing all of the events from the past couple of months that clearly.

I met this thoughtful and kind man at an after-hours party a few months ago. A big group of us left the after-hours party and continued to party well into the next afternoon. Queens and queers and freaks and weirdos were all gathered at my house. We drank every last drop of alcohol we had here and then we went and got more. We raged.

That kind of raging was fun.

The other kind of rage, not so much.

Turns out the guy that I really got into has an even bigger temper than me. This is saying a lot. If you’ve followed any of my past writing you might recall that I’ve done a lot of work trying to overcome my anger (you can even read all about it in the article I wrote titled, Republicans, Rapists, Real Women: How I’m Reprogramming Anger).

We’re both fire. Short-fused. Competitive.

Of course, we’re also both thoughtful, compassionate, kind (he maybe more so on the last trait).

A series of anger-induced incidents was the last straw for me.

I can’t handle feeling powerless. I can’t handle always being on the defensive. I can’t handle being one-up’ed every single time I ever tell a story. It becomes exhausting.

 

He’s told me that he loves me. He’s told me I’m his world. Yet, how can I let someone in that can turn on a dime and act out irrationally at random intervals?

Believe me, I know I am not perfect. I am cranky (particularly in the morning). I am stubborn. I suffer from resting bitch face.

I’m also weird. I read a lot, which doesn’t necessarily make me smart but it makes me smarter than I used to be. I have the sense of humor of a thirteen-year-old boy. I take pics with over-sized phallic-shaped foods on a regular basis. I don’t shower as much as I probably should. I can compartmentalize. I can be cold. I can be the life of the party or not want to be around anyone at all.

So yes, it takes a strong soul to handle me.

I also can only handle so much myself and what I cannot tolerate are unnecessary outbursts, temper tantrums, failing to communicate both the logistics of specific situations as well as feelings etc. connected to them.

No one should be in a relationship where they fear how the other person will respond or fear how they could snap at something small at any moment. If you can’t handle little issues then the big ones are going to be hella hard.

So this Thirsty Thursday, I drink a drink to honor all that we had and all that we could have. I’m not giving up completely, but I am distancing myself to better understand my own needs/wants/desires while he does the same. Anger is an energy and when put to proper use it can help change the world for the better, but if it’s anger that reveals itself as unnecessary rage, well that just hurts the entire world and all the people directly (and indirectly) who witness it.

May you quench your thirst on this Thursday and every other day. Thanks for reading my love life update, now go eat a carrot already!

Fifty Shades Freed Official Collection

Want to help me through this rough time? I enjoy gifts. Feel free to send me something special from my Amazon Wish List.

Or Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon (and see my real life boobies!)

You can also follow me on all the Social Media:

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Thirsty Thursday: How to Make the Blood Orange Cherry Moon Lunar Eclipse Drank

summer cocktail recipes

Cheers to a Bloody Full Moon

or

Summer Drink Recipe to Sip During the Lunar Eclipse

Happy Thirsty Thursday! I hope you’re extra thirsty this week because I just concoc(k)ted one of the most delicious drinks I have ever drank.

I’ve always been a nature kid. I grew up in the middle of nowhere Kansas next to a creek (crick), a hill covered with trees, and a field covered in hay and usually filled with weird animals (dead and alive).

For the past few years, I’ve been pretty fascinated with the moon and one of the most exciting things in moon history is happening tomorrow– lunar eclipse blood moon! This happens with the sun, earth, and moon align. The sun’s rays can’t reach the moon so we see it through a coopery-reddish (let’s just call it what it is aka period blood) filter. Oh yes, the earth has its own filters just like Instagram!

According to the elephant journal article I read on this upcoming event:

“ On July 27th we can expect lunar energy to be supercharged and at its most intense for the longest time in a 100-year period.”

100 years?! This means shit is going to go down. People gonna be super cray cray. Werewolves are going to eat babies faces off. Witches are going to cast mega-badass spells. Vampires are going to turn Krystal into a vampire (wishes, wishes and more wishes). Jealousies will arise. Drama will stir.  Fights will ensue. Relationships will end. Toxic energy will be flying all over through the air. Watch out!

Lots of other stuff is bound to happen too. Read the full article (link above) to find out more about it.

I’d suggest making a big batch of this drank, sitting back, and watching the
show.

Here’s my recipe for the Blood Orange Cherry Moon Lunar Eclipse Drank

Servings: makes 2 cocktails

Ingredients:

4 ounces good American whiskey
½ of one fresh-squeezed lemon juice
½ of 1 fresh-squeezed blood orange juice
Blood orange Italian soda
Cherries for garnish

Directions:

Combine whiskey, lemon and orange juice in a large cocktail shaker, fill with plenty of ice, and shake like crazy for about 30 seconds. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass, or into an ice-filled Old Fashioned glass. Top with soda and garnish with big dark red cherry for the full moon impact. Enjoy.

Cheers!

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo