Weird Sex Wednesday: Having Sex Fantasies About Religious Leaders

sexy jesus, sexy nuns, sexy priests, sexy monks

Would You Fuck A Hot Nun?

or

What Is It That’s So Sexy About Certain Religious Figures?

Recently a fan follower sent me a sexy shirt (and bra + panties set) off of my Amazon wishlist. When it arrived and I put it on I was suddenly reminded of that scene in Bridget Jones Diary when Bridget shows up at the Tarts and Vicars party and no one else is dressed up like a tart or a vicar. Then she runs into an older woman wearing a frilly shirt like the one I’m wearing and say something like, “Oh I guess you didn’t get the memo either.” To which the woman replies, “Yes, I did!” Then runs off embarrassed.

Anyhoo. The shirt reminded me of that party fail and also it reminded me of another form of weird sex– sex with religious leaders.

Sex with priests. Sex with nuns. Sex with monks. Sex with Jesus. Sex with satan.

Or people dressed up like them.

Once I had a boyfriend who dressed up like a priest. I’m pretty sure that was the night a guy wearing a grape costume gave him some molly and we ended up having this weird threesome (but not with the grape guy, someone else?). Could have been a different Halloween though, who can really remember it all?

I’d definitely have sex with Jesus if given the opportunity. Have you seen those ab muscles, damn? Plus, he’s like God or the son of God or whatever you believe, so I bet he has some orgasmic moves.

I used to have a pretty strong fantasy about having sex with an Amish guy, but I don’t really think that fits in this same category.

Buy the same shirt for you or someone you love:

What do you think is the root of these fantasies? Do you think it’s because it’s just so so wrong? The forbidden fruit of spiritual sexuality.

I mean, how could not want to fuck a priest who looks like this?

sexy priest
Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me. – Priest from Exorcist TV Series

Anyhoo. Let me know in the comments below what your sexual religious fantasies (or perhaps actual actions) are!

(Talk about sinful sex.)

You can Buy your own sexy priest outfit (and have something ready to wear for Halloween) here:

Leg Avenue Priest Adult Men’s Costume

sexy jesus, sexy nuns, sexy priests, sexy monks
Namaste in bed with you?

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Woman Eats Banana For Health Reasons

healthy eating done wrong

Watch This Woman Eat a Banana

or

This is the weirdest way to eat a banana ever displayed on the internet

For 30 years I hated bananas. Then one day I went to a gong bath, which is a sound healing event where you lie on the floor for 90 minutes while someone plays a gong. During the gong bath I had this really weird trip, snakes were entering my mouth and vagina, slithering into my arms and legs, I wasn’t scared while it was happening even though I am deathly afraid of snakes in real life. The next day, I went to work and there was a pile of fruit on the snack shelf. Some of these fruits in the pile were bananas. I had not eaten a banana since I was about two years old. I didn’t like the smell of them. I didn’t like the texture of them. I didn’t like the taste of them. Yet, after the gong bath my dislike for bananas completely disappeared. I tore into one of the bananas and ate the whole thing without even making a face. Of course, they’re still not my favorite food but I eat them because they’re cheap and they make my nails long and they also sort of look like dicks and that’s funny to me.

Now, I can put pretty much any food in my mouth. The only food I dislike is beets, but I can eat them if I HAVE to, like they’re in a salad or something. I also wasn’t really impressed with pumpkin spiced pickled pumpkin, but how often does a person run into that?

In any event, I decided to film a moment of me eating a banana because it’s weird and I do weird things.

Enjoy.

On this day I ate a banana. Watch it here.

It takes some time to eat an entire banana. Enjoy the End aka Part 2 here.