Go Eat a Carrot Hummus

go eat a carrot hummus

Stick your Pretzel in this Nutritious Dip

Yum! Carrot Hummus. As I continue to create the Phallic Diet Cookbook the more interesting facts I find out the foods that I typically feature. For instance, the carrot. Turns out that cooked carrots are actually more nutritious than raw carrots. 

According to a 2008 study in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry boiling carrots until tender boosts the concentration of carotenoids by 14 percent. Carotenoids convert into Vitamin A, which not only helps our eye health (one that most of us already knew carrots helped with) but also improves and regenerates damaged collagen in our skin, and boosts our immune system. 

Why all this information?! Well, to justify why I cooked the carrots in this hummus recipe. Sure, it’s an extra step but isn’t it worth that 14% increase in nutrition? Plus, it makes it easier to get blended up.

Feel free to adjust the spices according to your own flavor profile and/or add whatever toppings you enjoy. I like to add spicy stuff to my dips so I blended up some chipotle + adobo sauce but that is kind of a pain in the ass, so sriracha works just as well.

Add nuts for some crunch and you got yourself a tasty (and pretty healthy) little snack. Would also be a hit at covid-friendly social distancing gathering, like a Big Game party, if you’re into that kind of thing. 

Go Eat a Carrot Hummus

What you Need:

Tools:

  • Blender
  • Saucepan
  • Stirring spoon 
  • Serving bowl

Consumables:

  • 2 tablespoons olive oil 
  • ½ pound carrots, chopped
  • Big pinch of kosher salt 
  • freshly ground pepper
  • 1 teaspoon cumin
  • 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
  • ½ teaspoon of cayenne
  • 1 15-ounce can chickpeas, drained
  • 4 garlic cloves, finely grated
  • ½ cup of water
  • ¼ cup natural smooth peanut butter

Optional Toppings:

  • Honey
  • Sriracha
  • Roasted peanuts
  • Olive Oil 

(One or some or all, depending on your personal desires)

+  Whatever you want to dip into this hummus. 

What You Do:

Heat 2 Tbsp. oil in a medium saucepan over medium. 

Add carrots, season with salt and pepper, and cook, stirring occasionally, until carrots are tender, 6–8 minutes. 

Add chickpeas and remaining spices; cook, stirring occasionally, until carrots are completely tender, about 5 minutes. 

Let cool slightly.

Transfer carrot mixture to a blender and add garlic, carrot juice, peanut butter, lemon juice, and 4 Tbsp. oil; blend until smooth. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Add toppings of your choice right before serving. 

You can eat it right away or let chill for a couple of hours and/or days.  

Great with pretzels or pita chips. 

Yum. 

Thanks for coming! For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes check out my Don’t Be a Dick Charred Eggplant Soup.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here. 

Get Stuffed By An Italian Eggplant

If you liked getting stuffed by an eggplant you’ll love this Italian -ish twist. 

Opps. I mean, if you like stuffed eggplant this is the dish for you. 

Filled with wholesome healthy good stuff like quinoa, white beans, and walnuts this with pack your mouth with flavor–and fill you up too. 

This Get Stuffed Eggplant could potentially become a series, it turns out that you could really get stuffed eggplant any way you want it–just roast the eggplant and stuff with your favorite foods– I recommend 1 grain + 1 protein + veggies seasoned your way. I tried to make mine a bit more phallic-food friendly by adding chopped up salami that happened to already be in my fridge + walnuts for some extra nut flavor. I might try an even more phallic-one another time with roasted phallic foods + sausage. A greek stuffed eggplant would also be pretty good. 

I say, why not make one your way and send it my way and I’ll feature it if it looks appetizing. 

(I’ll throw in an IG shout-out and give you a creative contributor shout-out + digital copy of book when it’s released!) 

Anyhoo, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the f-ing recipe!

Get Stuffed By an Italian Eggplant 

What You Need:

  • 1 to 2 Eggplants  
  • Italian seasoning
  • Garlic salt
  • Cooked quinoa (or your choice of cooked grain) 
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • ½ of one red onion –diced
  • 3-4 cloves of garlic
  • 1 Can Great white northern beans- drained
  • A handful of chopped walnuts
  • Chopped up salami (to taste)
  • Italian seasoning (to taste)
  • Garlic salt (to taste)
  • Pepper (to taste)

Cheese Toppings (Optional)

  • Shredded mozzarella cheese
  • Parmesan cheese
  • Blue cheese to garnish (optional)

What You Do:

Step 1: Sweet it Out

Cut eggplant in half lengthwise. Season the flesh with kosher salt. Set aside, flesh side up, for 20 to 30 minutes to allow the eggplant to “sweat.” Pat dry with a paper towel. (This is an optional step but can make a big difference).

Step 2: Season Up

Heat the oven to 425 degrees F.

Pat eggplant dry. 

Brush the flesh with extra virgin olive oil. 

Rub the italian seasoning on the flesh of the eggplant, sprinkle with salt and any other seasonings of your choice if you so choose (I added some paprika)

Step 3: Get Roasty

Place eggplant halves, flesh side up, on a generously oiled sheet pan. Bake for 35 to 45 minutes or until the eggplant flesh is nice and tender.

Step 4: Cook up the Stuff

Meanwhile. 

Add olive oil to a pan on stove and put pan on medium heat

Saute onion until softened (about 5 minutes)

Add garlic, cook until fragrant (about 30 seconds)

Throw in walnuts, salami, italian seasoning, garlic salt, pepper and cooked grain of choice

Step 5: Stuff the Eggplant

Once the eggplants have been roasted and the flesh is nice and tender pull them out of the oven. Take a spoon and with the back of it slap the eggplant (or press it down firmly) to create a cave-ish hole. Fill the cave with the stuffing. Top with cheese filling if so desired and put back in the oven on BROIL for 2 to 3 minutes until lightly brown. 

Step 6: Plate and Eat

Carefully move eggplants to serving plate (I used two spatulas to do this). 

Garnish with blue cheese dressing if you’re feeling extra frisky.  

Stuff stuffed eggplant in mouth. Enjoy. 

Thanks for coming! For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes check out The Ultimate Phallic Food Platter.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more!