Thirsty Thursday: Fireworks Popsicle Shot Recipe

yum yum 4th of july drink recipe

Make Shots That Will Pop Your Socks Off

or

Enjoy Fireworks in Your Mouth (and the Sky)

This year, the 4th of July falls right in the middle of the week. In a way, this is splendid because we get to celebrate our independence the weekend prior, the week of, AND the weekend after.

To me, the 4th of July symbolizes more than just our American independence, but the BIG, BAM, OOOHH LA La’s of summer really kicking into gear. Friends and family gather outside to watch beautiful light displays, drink frothy beer, and eat phallic shaped foods like hot dogs, corn dogs, and yes, the delicious popsicle.

Since I’m going to an Independence Day party this weekend, I thought I’d share this Thirsty Thursday Fireworks Popsicle Shot with you today.

It’s fucking hot here and no one really wants to take a shot of warm ass liquor. If you do you may want to ask yourself if you have alcohol issues.

I prefer to put phallic shaped objects in mouth and what’s more phallic shaped than a long, hard, sweet, popsicle?

Of course, these pop-ice popsicles in the plastic bags aren’t AS phallic-y as say a rocket pop, which would be delicious right now, but they’re the easiest way to make a quick drink.

Thirsty Thursday Fireworks Popsicle Shot Recipe:

Here’s what you need:

Pop Ice
Scissors
Funnel
Liquor of Choice

Here’s What You Do:

Cut the top of the popsicle off, take a bite if necessary so there is at least a shot’s worth of empty space in the plastic.

Put the funnel in the hole.

Pour the liquor in the popsicle (you can measure if you’d like more accuracy)

DRANK it!

Happy (early) 4th of July! May you quench your thirst and experience amazing fireworks.

P.S. Depending on the weather it might not melt as quickly as expected so you can close the top of it, shake it, then shoot it. Or you can wait for it to melt more. OR you can just shoot it back and deal with it mostly just being pure alcohol (that’s slightly less warm than before).

It’s all up to you because this is America and you do what you want.

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Thirsty Thursday Cocktail Recipe: Sexy Strawberry Blonde Ethical Slut Punch

summer cocktail recipe

Get Your Cocktail on Today for a Cocktale Tonight

Or

Discover If This Recipe Could Help You Get Laid

I’m a thirsty bitch. I mean that in pretty much every way. As you read or saw last week I talked all about how I’m proud to be thirsty.


{If you make it to the end of this 5-minute video you’ll see us both shake what our mommas’ gave us (you’re welcome).

As a thirsty bitch though, sometimes I get thirsty for more than just dick or pussy or attention. Sometimes I get thirsty for actual drank. Sometimes this girl needs a cocktail before she can carry on experiencing anymore cocktales.

Below is a recipe for my signature drink. Named after me, the sexy strawberry-blonde ethical slut.

This drink is WAY better than that stupid red-headed slut shot they serve at low-end college bars. Who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to mix jager with peach? Gag me with a ten-inch dick already… I mean really, gag me with a ten-inch dick… but no, do not ever order me a red-headed slut shot.

My signature drink is delicious just like me.

There’s some healthy sweet fruit all smashed at the bottom. Some lime for that tart and sass. Gin AND tequila because I go both ways. Triple sec because if you say it fast enough it sounds like triple sex, which makes me think of threesomes, which are my FAVORITE when it comes to the sex. MMF, FFM, FFF, any triple sex threesome thing is good with me. Ice because I can be cold, cool, and melt in your mouth. Then, of course, there’s the ginger beer since you all feel the need to call me a ginger all the time even though it’s debatable, but the ginger does add an extra kick and all that liquid helps calm down the hard hard liquor that’s getting all busy in the big ass glass already.

When it’s all mixed up make sure to use your reusable glass or metal straw–this is the ethical part of the drink. Think of it like a condom for your big ass glass. People are getting all butthurt about plastic straws at bars and coffee shops. I get it, I mean, that’s a lot of trash and there is already plenty of trash in the world (insert joke about your mom or Arkansas or something here). metal and glass straws are a great alternative. I’ve had mine since I lived in Boulder–because they have been butthurt about plastic straws for centuries. Anyway, they do last a really long time and I’ve lost more than I’ve broken.

If you’re going to be slutty, if you’re going to get sloppy, might as well be ethical about it.

Will this drink help you get laid? No.

A decent personality, an ability to communicate, a sense of humor, and the whole consent thing (aka not fucking someone super drunk but someone who actually consciously wants to fuck you) those things will help you get laid.

This signature cocktail is just to quench the thirst for a drank. And maybe loosen you up a bit IF you’re down for cocktales (or peach-pies or pink tacos) later.

The full recipe and instructions are below. Cheers!

Thirsty Thursday Cocktail Cocktale Recipe

Sexy Strawberry-Blonde Ethical-Slut Punch

Ingredients:
(for two drinks)
4 to 8 Strawberries
2 to 4 Limes
Gin
Tequila
Triple Sec
Ginger Beer or Ale or Soda Water
Ice

Materials
Big ass glass or jar
Reusable glass or metal straw

Instructions:

Add:

  • 1 part Tequila
  • 1 part Gin
  • 1 part triple sec

Add some cut up  strawberries and smash them in the bottom of the big ass glass.

Throw in the juice of half to one lime.

Put a bunch of Ice in your big ass glass.

Top that big ass glass with ginger beer or ginger ale for that extra PUNCH of flavor (you can use soda water if you have no gingery things or you run out of gingery things or you want to cut out some of the sweetness).

Garnish with lime wedge (and strawberry if you’re feeling real frisky).

Drink up that drank with your reusable glass or metal straw.

Rinse. Repeat until thirst is quenched.

Happy Thirsty Thursday!

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo