Go Eat A Carrot: Year in Review

go eat a carrot

Happy One Year Anniversary to Go Eat A Carrot

Almost exactly a year ago, on Easter Sunday to be exact, Go Eat A Carrot was born. I had gone on this fabulous rom-com date with a pretty decent dude, where he bought me a very large carrot as a Sin Day Sunday gift.

Later that night I had eaten an edible and instead of putting me to sleep it put me in this weird manic-y state of mind where I stayed up through the evening and came to the conclusion that I needed to start a blog. A blog about the truth, and sex and love and politics and food, but mostly about the truth and mostly about the sex truth. A blog where I told people to “go eat a carrot,” which of course is a triple entendre– my favorite kind of entendre.

It’s been a real fucking crazy year. It has been probably the craziest year of my life. I’m happy to still be alive (most of the time). It’s unclear at this point what’s going to happen with this blog. I said I’d write it for a year and I did. There were times I veered away from the truth because my audience was more concerned with the sex. I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to get back to the root of what this was–which was a way for me to express the bullshit and the beauty going on in my life and to connect with people over topics that we all enjoy exploring.

Anyway, it’s pretty interesting to realize that Easter comes from the Ishtar, the Assyrian and Babylonian goddess of fertility and sex. No wonder I had the idea for a sex blog on Easter. It’s my way of celebrating life. I create these little babies for you all, blog babies.

It’s been a struggle and a learning curve. I’ve had quite a time in this puritanical land talking about sex, even if I’m doing it from a sex positive perspective, on social media sites. I’ve also dealt with A LOT of really dumb DM messages, yet at the same time I’ve talked to some really amazing new people and I couldn’t be more thankful for that.

Here are some stats and some learnings from the first year of Go Eat a Carrot and some stats from my sex life during that time.

Go Eat A Carrot 2018-2019 Details:

  • Blogs: 79
  • Videos: 113
  • Pics: A billion
  • Instagram Followers: 3,393
  • Instagram Accounts Deleted: 2 (after 3K+ followers, rebuilt entire page, added a private page, which got deleted too.)
  • Instagram Accounts Still In Tact: 3
  • Subscribers on Youtube: 494
  • Strikes on Youtube: 2
  • Top Video: Hot Burning Man Sex (42.8K views)
  • Patreon Posts: 581 (deleted several after strike)
  • Strikes on Patreon: 1
  • Peak Patreon Patrons: 15
  • Current Patreon Patrons: 6

Sex/Dating Life Since:

  • One (to 2) night stands: 11
  • Friends with benefits: 5
  • Playthings: 3
  • Boyfriends/lovers: 1
  • Sociopaths: 1

Sex Highlights:

The night the Nun made a sex tape, the former-NBA player experience, the men capable of giving me multiple orgasms–thank you. Financial domination, monster porn, tentacle porn. Quick mental connections that end in friendships that actually last. Old friends returning to the story. Figuring out my patterns and ending them.

Sex Lowlights: The men who couldn’t, wouldn’t get me off. Dog porn. The toy with the app that failed to work. The guy who didn’t share his food the next morning, fuck that guy. The manboys who went back with their exes (yes, there were more than one). The Sociopath, enough said.

Happy Rabbit

The Hard (and soft) Lessons I’ve Learned:

Yes, I fell in love with a sociopath. I don’t talk about it much, mostly because it’s clear this guy is still stalking me and I don’t really want to add more fuel to the fire, but it was quite an ordeal that I’m still working through. For months I was furious. Not only angry at him but angry at myself.

The thing is, I’m working on forgiveness. Not because that’s what Jesus would do, but because it’s the only way I am going to be able to move on with my life. I can’t be mad at a monster for acting like a monster. I can’t be mad at myself for falling for a monster, because the truth of the matter there’s a little bit of monster in all of us.

Yes, I was drawn to the danger, the mystery, the excitement. Yes, I enjoyed the drama… until it went too far. I learned so much about myself from the experience though. I learned that I am stronger than I thought. I learned that I would rather be alive than walk around dead all the time. I learned what I definitely do not want in my relationships and I learned how to run away from red flags the moment they start waving their redness in front of me.

I also have learned what I do want. Stability, strength, simplicity. A balance of masculinity and femininity. Honesty. Truth. Fragility. Vulnerability. I want to be held with kindness, care, concern. I want to receive as much as I give– and I am quite a giver.

I’m not playing games anymore. Save the drama for your mama or anyone else that isn’t me because, nah. I’m done with that bullshit.

If people can’t handle it, if they can’t handle me, or they don’t want to put in the work, then guess what? They can just go eat a carrot.

That whole thing has been really fucking hard. It ripped me apart. It dragged me under and I started to drown. Everything else this past year has been minuscule in comparison; the men who left me for their exes, the ghosts, the guy with the girlfriend, the one nights stands that left me bored and unsatisfied, the time-wasters and super-pervs– nothing has come close to that pain and that torment. It’s my goal to make sure it never does again. Mindfuck me once, that’s all I need to never get mindfucked again.

Sure, I danced with the devil, but I knew he was the devil the entire time. The thing is, he wasn’t that good of a dancer and so I’ll just keep dancing on my own. No one can step on my feet that way.

Thanks for all the support for this past year–whether you’re a regular reader, a friend, a regular friend reader, I have appreciated you being there.

If you’d like to show your support for Go Eat A Carrot financially–which would be quite helpful indeed, become a Patron on Patreon, buy me something from my Amazon Wishlist, or buy yourself something nice from one of my affiliate sites:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo

Woo for Play

Thanks again! Don’t forget to eat your carrots. Nom Nom Nom.

Advertisements

Falling In Love with a Sociopath

sociopaths and dating and romance

Tits Out Truth Bombs Tuesday: How To Know You’re Dating a Sociopath

or

Love is Indeed the Most Intense Drug

Discussing this is difficult. There’s a chance that I could be putting my life at risk. So, in a way, I’m doing this more for you all than for me. I’d prefer that no one else ever have to go through this type of situation.

Yes, I fell in love with a sociopath.
You know that phrase, “people tell you who they are”? Well, I guess I should have been a bit more aware since he has “sociopath” tattooed on his neck, and yet, I ignored the all-to-obvious sign.

Why did I ignore it?

I don’t know. I guess because I didn’t want to believe it.

Instead, I let the facts reveal themselves over time.

So, how do you know if you’re dating a sociopath?

1.
They’re Master Manipulators

They have both the intelligence and skill to extract your entire emotional range out of you. Honestly, it was like being on the most intense drug. For the most part, I’m pretty rational, some may even say cold. Yet, with him, I was ecstatic, joyful, angry, sad, frustrated– everything at its most intense. I’m grateful we met because for the longest time I thought I was incapable of feeling. He was able to bring it out in me in ways I didn’t think possible. Of course, it was for his own motivations, a way to feed off of other people because he lacked the necessary skills to feel himself. This is actually emotional abuse. It is not healthy. It is very dangerous.

2.
Their Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Because they are master manipulators and world-class liars they will say whatever they can to make you believe them. And you will believe them, even if you know deep down it’s a lie. You’ll want to believe them too because the love is the strongest love you’ve ever felt. You don’t want the relationship to end. Even if they continue to do things that are the opposite of what they say. For example, this man claimed to respect me, to value my time. He’d say he was coming right over then not show up for hours, even days. Or he’d invite me out with him, ignore me the entire time, then leave with other people.

3.
They Isolate You From Your Friends and Family

It got to the point where I wouldn’t talk to anyone about my relationship with him. He had non-consensually kissed my roommate at a party, completely snubbed all my friends while we were at a bar, got on my phone and sent private pics of my friend to himself, literally hit on other women right in front of me. My friends were aware of this behavior. They told me to get out. I didn’t listen though. I was under his spell. When I say all of this out loud, I know you’re thinking, “wtf, Krystal?” I’m telling you right now there isn’t reason behind it. That’s why it’s so powerful.

I mean, he was smart and charming and sexy and complex and interesting. And he made me feels that way too. Except when he didn’t. Except when he sucked all of my vital energy out from me and left me feeling insecure, weak, scared, dumb.

For the longest time, I’ve sat around wondering, why me? What was it about me that drew him towards me. I must have done something. It must be my fault.

Of course, that’s exactly how they want to leave you feeling.

The truth is that you will never know why. The ‘why,’ doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that you disengage. Step away. Move on.

It will be the hardest thing you ever do.

Yes, that sounds dramatic. Imagine though that this love, these feelings, this relationship is more addictive than heroin or meth, more powerful than the feeling you get once you accomplish one of your major life goals, more intense than hiking Mt. Everest or finishing a marathon… then you may get a better idea of what I mean.

He got me. He won. I’m empty now.

Yet, I know that over time I will fill back up with something better.

What’s that quote… “the wound is where the light gets in.”

Perhaps I’ll shine a bit brighter after this.