3 Things for Singles to Do On Valentine’s Day 

singe on valentines day

Valentine’s Day Ideas for Singles

For many singles, Valentine’s Day brings up a lot of gross feelings such as loneliness, despair, sadness. Those feelings are valid. Feel the feelings, but note that they too shall pass. Love is all around and already deep within. Here are a few ways to feel that love even more this Valentine’s Day–or any day of the year for that matter.

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3 Ways to Enjoy Valentine’s Day When You’re Single

1. Give Love Back

For the past three years my best friend and I have made Valentine’s Day cards and have gone out on the streets of Denver to pass them and candy out to strangers walking by. Every year we’re amazed by the responses. People light up, they smile, they gush, they ask to take pics with us. For us it’s about giving back a bit of love to everyone regardless of who they are because we all deserve it, we are all worth it. So, if you’re feeling down one idea is to give back to others, whether you volunteer at a homeless shelter or volunteer to walk dogs or babysit for your couple friend who want a night out on the town, whatever style of giving you choose it’s a pretty powerful way to get out of your own head and see that love is all around you.

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2. Love Yourself All Night Long

Self-love takes work. Just like it takes work to love others except often it’s much harder because we have to live with ourselves every moment of every day. I don’t know about you, but I have been known to get on my own nerves from time to time.

That being said, I also love myself. It’s fun to take a night and do things that make you feel good. Pamper the shit out of yourself.

Cook yourself a nice meal, drink a glass of wine or three, go get a massage or take a hot bath (add a herbal tea mix or bath bomb to the water to really treat yourself), write down your hopes and dreams, make one of those vision boards, read a good book (This is How You Lose Her, Jitterbug Perfume, O’ Pioneers I can go on and on), masturbate with a nice lube, maybe splurge and buy yourself a new toy, light a candle or two. Do you boo boo, you deserve it.

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3. Express Your Gratitude

Valentine’s Day is a great time to reflect back on all that you have. Why not get a group of single friends together and celebrate how wonderful it is to be in each others lives? Make fancy cocktails or collaborate on a new project together (or both). If your friends are far away write them a letter that says how much they mean to you. This works with family members too. It’s never a bad time to say something good about someone dear to you. It might be just what they needed to hear or just what you needed to say to have a more joyful day.

Anyway, you go I hope you have a lovely holiday. I’ll be handing out Valentine’s on the streets of Denver as per usual. Perhaps I’ll see you out and about!

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Holiday Single Survival: What To Say When The Dreaded Question Pops Up

When Your Family Asks About Your Dating Life

I love going home for the holidays. All I do is eat food, cruise around the gravel roads looking for deer, drink beer, watch terrible cable tv, laugh with my family etc. I’ve been single for a long time. So long in fact that I can’t even think of the last person I took home over Christmas to introduce to my family. I’ve become a professional at dealing with the question. You know what I’m talking about. You’re at the dinner table or you’re all drinking Long Island Iced Teas while eating pounds of desserts your mom has been baking all month, everything going along swimmingly when out of nowhere, someone, most likely your mother or your best friend from high school has to ask, “So, you seeing anyone special?”

Perhaps this question doesn’t bother you. If that’s the case, see you at my next blog. If you are single and it does get under your skin, here are some suggested clapbacks and/or legitimate responses.

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The Deflection

Nothing says, “I don’t want to talk about this with you” than a classic distraction. Look toward the window. Furrow your brow. Hurry over, say, “what in the heecckk is that?” They’ll all rush over. That’s when you come up with something strange you thought you saw, “I swear I just saw a dude wearing an all-orange jumpsuit walking down the street with an accordian,” or “strange, it looked like a wolf, but maybe it was just a dog? You have feral dogs wandering your neighborhood now?” etc etc. Of course, the deflection typically only works for a few moments, days max, and then someone somewhere will find the nerve to bring it up yet again.

The Ego Stroke

This one is great because the phrasing of it makes the people around you feel special.

“I’ve been putting myself out there but I have yet to find anyone that meets the standards I learned to look for by being around such an amazing family.”  

Blunt Truth

Just say it like it is, “No. There’s no one special.”

The Turn-Around

If they continue to annoy you, it’s always a joy to flip the question back on to them, “How’s your love life going?” Because regardless of whether they’re married or dating “someone” special that doesn’t mean they get a pass and should be out of the clear. No relationship is perfect and it can be helpful for them to get a taste of their own medicine. Perhaps, they’re realize what it feels like to be asked such questions and will refrain from doing so in the future.

Self Love

“I’m focusing on my career and discovering hobbies I love to do. I recently started learning how to _____ and it’s been fun.”

If the person says something along the lines of, “well you should really get out there and date more.” You can always hit them with a statistic like, “from all the research I’ve done with regards to dating etc. every dating coach / advice column etc. suggests the best way to find love is to do the things you love. You’ll meet people that way and then you’ll already have a common connection, so, in this way I AM dating, by dating myself.”

The SnP

From one of the greatest rap groups of all time, Salt n Peppa comes the lyrics, “It’s none of your business,” which you could always just start playing the song to the horror of your grandma (not my grandma, she’s the one I used to listen to it with) or you could say the same thing more gracefully like, “I’d prefer to leave my private life, private.”

Do you have a line you like to use? Or a strategy you employ when dealing with unwanted questions from your family? Leave your comments below. I’m always down for trying to tactics.