Tell Me If This is Funny: Taking Doggie Style Way Too Far

Are Dogs Really Man’s Best Friend?

or

Caution: This May Gross You Out

A couple of years ago I had a regular friend-with-benefits. Every Monday we’d have some sort of sexual experience. It usually consisted of me getting tied up and beat, forced orgasm, etc. He was a dom and had a couple of other subs he played with as well.

Shop Fifty Shades of Grey with 365 day no hassle returns at Lovehoney

One day he told me that one of the other subs had a strong desire to get fucked by a dog.

A dog.

I was immediately grossed out.

“Excuse me? No.” I said.

“No what?” He asked.

“No. I will not continue our regular rendezvous if you have sex with someone who has sex with dogs. That crosses a line for me. That’s not even six degrees of separation from me and a dog.”

Hear the doggie story here. . .

I have no idea if that woman ever had sex with a dog. I’m sure she did because when people want to do fucked up stuff they usually do. The guy and I ended our sex sessions for other reasons that are irrelevant to the story.

Fast forward to a few days ago. I don’t know what kind of boredom I was going through but I decided to dive into the disgusting world of women getting fucked by dogs. It was relatively easy to find a whole slew of videos of women and man’s best friend together, intimate in ways that go beyond a nice scratch behind the ears.

Dominix - an exclusive Lovehoney.com range of luxury bondage gear

I clicked on a video of a woman tied to a chair with a dog penetrating her pussy.

“Well, I mean, it looks like she had no choice in the matter here.”

Fast forward.

The woman now untied was actively sucking this dog’s penis.

Like, she liked it.

Have you ever see an erect dog penis?

It’s even more disgusting than a human male penis. Plus, it’s connected to, well, a dog.

I watched about twenty seconds of it. I was fascinated to be honest.

Just think. There are thousands of men in the world that want their dicks sucked who never or rarely get their dicks sucked and here are all these women sucking and fucking dog cock.

Sure, we could blame the fact that some men are involuntarily celibate on their terrible personalities… or like a rancid fart, we could just blame the dog?

Tits Out Truth Bombs Tuesday: Navigating Through A World That Hates Sex


I Don’t Know What The Fuck I’m Doing

or

How I Violate Community Guidelines Every Day of My Life

As many of you have probably noticed I’ve taken a bit of a breather from the blog. There were multiple reasons for this such as holiday travel / family gatherings, falling in a deep dark well of depression, and getting in trouble yet again on yet another online social platform.

I was left feeling rather stuck. Rather annoyed. I began questioning everything I’ve been doing the last nine months. Like, why am I continuing to talk about sex when every time I do I find myself getting spanked quite unpleasantly by a bunch of puritanical freedom-of-speech haters?

So far I’ve gotten warnings, strikes, deletions etc. from Instagram (complete deletion), Tinder (flagged and removed photo), Patreon (forced deletion of content), Mailchimp (deletion of account), and YouTube (two strikes). I’ll tell you, it’s getting old.

<img

I’m talking about this not to necessarily whine about my predicaments (or preDICKaments haha) but to point out that this is not just a violation of my freedom of speech, but of everyone else’s freedom to learn, explore, discover. Sexuality shouldn’t be shamed. We should be able to express it without the fear of being removed from a platform. It’s not my fault or your fault that the creators of these platforms can’t differentiate between pornography and sexual expression / education.

I don’t even know where to begin on the issues I’ve had regarding the promotion of sex toys. I guess adults aren’t allowed to play?

But to be completely honest, yes this has been frustrating but more than that, I’ve gotten bored.

Save 50% in Lovehoney Sale

Who knew that sex could become so boring?

Well, now I know when it becomes a chore to talk about it, take sexy pics on the regular, always be researching it, etc. doing it because I have to test something or try something to discuss it later, that’s when it becomes boring. At times it feels like way too much surface and not enough depth. Yes, I have nice tits, but that’s not necessarily interesting. It’s just how my body grew into itself.   

Thus I’ve been struggling with what I want to do with this blog. Initially it was designed as a way for me to release the truth of what I know (which isn’t much tbh) into the world. Much of what I know is about sexuality because that’s what my background education is in, but that’s not really getting to the truth of much.

So, this next year, I’m going to go back to my original intent. I’ll still talk about sex, dating, relationships etc. but I’ll be throwing in other random topics as well because I want to entertain myself. Yes, I love having readers. I love having your support. But, if I veer away from the root of who I am it will all become vapid and get lost in internet space.


You can play if you want to… Tantus G-Spot or P-Spot Dildos. Click on Image to explore further.

Side note, I’m still working through the issues with Patreon, but I hope to have some new posts up soon, perhaps today and definitely the usually Freaky Fan Friday video and erotica readings.

If you want to show your support without supporting Patreon feel free to email me to discuss the best ways to tip.

Thank you all for your patience as I renew and refresh this blog and all my other social media pages. May your pleasure always come first.

Just saying the same stuff but out loud. . .


Thirsty Thursday: Thoughts on No Nut November

Why Men Are Choosing Not to Masturbate

Men have really come up with interesting ways to torture themselves–and let’s face it, to also torture women in the process of torturing themselves.

First, there was No Shave November, which tortured many mens’ faces with terrible terrible facial hair looks. No, you do not look good with a moustache. No one looks good with a moustache. (Okay, there may be about three exceptions in the entire world, but I can take a gamble here and say your face is not one of them.)

And now there’s No Nut November.

A way to torture yourself by not allowing your penis to release any ejaculate for 30 days.

Your Sexiest Christmas Ever

The main philosophy of Go Eat A Carrot, is pleasure first. So, the idea of not masturbating (to completion) for an entire month could be viewed as going completely against my belief system. Yet, maybe not.

There is a beauty in the choice to take on anything challenging.

People go on food fasts all the time and since sex and food are on the same level of human need, I think it’s pretty easy to compare noFap to that.

I went through quite a few of the subReddit NoNutNomember posts in an attempt to better understand the motivations behind it.

I get that it’s a test of will power. Some claim to even improve mental clarity and come to terms with some deeper emotional issues that they’ve been covering up through porn and wanking.  

I’m a bit curious as to why masturbation seems so all-consuming to the No-Nutters. Like, it takes me less than 10 minutes a day to achieve and it’s actually good for one’s mental and physical health. Perhaps, if you’re spending hours upon hours watching porn and jerkin the gherkin than yeah, maybe taking some time off is a good idea.

This all comes down to your own personal state of well-being. You really need to ask yourself why you are compelled to stop doing something people do naturally all the time.

Has it become unnatural? Unpleasant? Is it over-taking your life? Does it just sound like a fun challenge? Do you feel the need to join a community of people who call you a soldier even though you prob have never served in any sort of military service? (That’s one of the things that’s the most bizzare about this newer trend, but I feel like I’ll just save that analysis for someone else to take care of as there’s too much to unpack with that in one blog.) Are you a masochists who like torturing yourself with ridiculous physical challenges? Do you have an issue with addiction? Are you curious to know if you can do it just based on that alone?

Are you also participating in No Shave November and because of that you realize no one will actually want to have sex with you while you have weird sad hair growing on your face?

Clearly, I have a lot of questions.

Male Sex Toys 300x250

In years past I’ve done my own Manless May thing. This was more so to cleanse my dating palate. To rediscover my wants, likes, desires. Of course, I still masturbated. And “manless” did not include “womanless,” but in any event, I do understand the motivations behind taking a break from something you do regularly. It gives you time to reflect on the why. It gives you time to reevaluate if that behavior is healthy or helpful. And then, when you do finally womp the weasel it could in fact be way MORE pleasurable just because you’ve restrained yourself for so long and built up the anticipation.

If you participated in No Nut November, please enlighten me on why, how, what etc. I’m genuinely curious. Also, if you need something to really get your December 1st going, I’ve got plenty of fapping materials for you to pursue through on my Patreon.

If you did wank this month or you didn’t wank this month you’re still a winner in my book.

Cheers.

Hear my thoughts on No Nut November here. 


Sex Toy Review: Cheap Beginner Cockrings

cheap beginner cock rings

cheap beginner cock rings

Masturbation Monday: Best Beginner Cock Rings

or

Cheap Cock Rings To Get You Started

 

As many of you who follow my blog know, I’m a super snob when it comes to sex toys. A former co-worker used to call our high-end sex toy products, ‘gucci for your coochie,’ and that’s typically all that I will allow near me.

That being said, I will make some exceptions.

I make a big exception when it comes to cock rings.

Sure, there are some super nice high-end cock rings out there like the Lelo Oden and We-Vibe Verge and these are great toys.

Yet, when it comes to cock-rings, after personal experience with types from every price range and every quality, I have to admit that the cheap disposal ones are a pretty good way to go.

The cheap disposal cock rings are great particularly if you’ve never used one before and are trying to get an idea if it’s a thing you’d even want to invest in.

Cock rings typically go over the penis and the testicles, this restriction holds the testicles down and keeps the testes from contracting. This constriction helps to slow down ejaculation and can increase an orgasm from around 6 seconds to up to 45 seconds. Cock rings can be made from stretchy plastics or can be solid, made from materials like metal, glass, leather.

If you’re a beginner I’d suggest the stretchy kind. Men have informed me that they’re much easier to put on and yes they will fit around your penis and your balls no matter how BIG you think you are.

I suggest the stretchy plastic ones with the vibrator. The thing that’s great about the vibrator is that you can put the vibrator on the top side of your shaft and if you’re having sexual intercourse with a woman she’ll feel the vibrations on her clitoris–bonus for her. Or you can turn the cock ring the other way so the vibrator stimulates your balls, this works whether you’re having sex with a partner or you’re doing it solo.

I bought a ten-pack off of Amazon for like $14. Just throw them away after use.

You can shop for them here:

Sexy Slave [10-Pack] Butterfly Vibrating Cock Ring – Stretchy Penis Ring – Clitorial Stimulation for Women – Adult Sex Toys for Couples, Pink or Purple

I know these plastic throw-away cock rings aren’t the most environmentally friendly option out there but they’re good for beginners or those who don’t really want to use a cock ring all of the time.

If you are going to use a cock ring regularly then I’d suggest moving up to one of the more high-end rechargable ones, I’d suggest the Lelo Oden as it’s a bit more adjustable than some of the others and it comes with a wireless remote to add to the fun.

Like and comment on my Instagram Post for your chance to win one of these cheap disposable cock rings (Winner selected November 30, 2018)

Friday Feels: Erotic Poetry

poetry of the erotic nature written and read by a woman

Exploring Erotic Poetry

or

Creativity, Confidence, and Sex

The other day a gentleman asked if he could write an erotic poem about me. I agreed. He sent it over to me and it was actually pretty good. I’d share a bit with you but somehow it’s disappeared. Kind of weird, but so are people on the internet, so there’s that. Perhaps, his account got deleted as Instagram is known to do to people who talk openly about sex. (I’ll write about that whole ordeal sometime in the near future.)

I’ve never really understood poetry. My roommate is a poet and writes poems for people for a living based on the topic of their choice. I’d say she’s more of a channeller, somehow able to read people immediately and know exactly what they need to hear. I write in almost the reverse way, to understand myself more, to write what I need to hear.

Erotic poetry is its own little niche artform. Of course, it centers around sex but more importantly the feeling you get from connecting with someone else. The sensuality, the deeper meaning of why you’re interacting with another on an intimate level.

Just like with erotic stories there seems to be a lot of words like “wet,” “throbbing,” “taste,” “hard,” etc.

Some though are poignant, profound, touching even.

“I’ll touch her without touching her.
Using my words as foreplay.” -Onur Taskiran

Words as foreplay. That’s probably the best way to describe it. And it’s true, the brain is the largest sexual organ. We should all try to tease it more, stimulate it more, caress it and show it compassion.

Sure, the booty call, one-night-stand, no-strings-attached hookups have their place. But if you’re looking to engage in something more meaningful, why not use your words? Writing poetry might not be your go-to, you might find it difficult or silly but creating something out of nothing is beautiful regardless of the outcome. It proves you can be active in your own life, not just a passive bystander that takes everyone else’s creativity and gives nothing back.

I’d encourage you to take an hour out of your day and make something. Channel whatever feelings you’re feeling and turn them into art, whether you go the erotic poetry route or you paint or cook or build a birdhouse, it doesn’t matter.

I’ll share with you a couple of erotic poems I attempted so you know that it’s okay to not always get everything right the first go around.

Trouble

It all started with a look
Not a look, the look.
Eyes that sparkle, magnets
Connecting us on a deeper plane.

I knew he was trouble
The moment I saw him,
But I stared right into him anyway.

Together we’d create
Or destroy
The world, our world, each other.

-K

I know, I know, that one wasn’t really EROTIC. If you want a real erotic one, check out my reading for Freaky Fan Friday on Patreon.

Here’s another one that’s also not that erotic. Hey, I’m learning here, okay?!

Woman Plays with Fire

My friends try to tell me that I’m not in love with him
They say I’m in love with danger
Okay, maybe
But maybe I’m in love with the way he makes me feel
He makes me feel everything
He makes me feel alive
No else else ever has, not even myself
Feeling is dangerous
That’s what they should say.

-K

I wrote and recorded four poems total. So I put the last one up also on my Patreon as a super exclusive for the high-level tier. Hear the weirdness when you join us today, plus you’ll get access to ALL of the work I’ve uploaded since I’ve started Patreon (all the way back in April), which I must admit is rather juicy stuff. Thanks for coming!

Review: Christiane Amanpour: Sex and Love Around the World

review of a documentary series on sexuality

What’s Up with What’s Going Down Across the Globe?

or

The Wide World of Sex or Lack Thereof

#sexyisnotasize

Yesterday I binge-watched the entire first season of Sex & Love Around the World, a documentary series that goes from country to country exploring the culture surrounding human relationships (streaming on Netflix).

First of all, I thought it was well-done. Beautifully shot, in-depth conversations, but holy shit.

Since I began this blog back in April I’ve had several people reach out to me and express that I was so brave and bold etc. for talking so candidly and open about sexuality. I didn’t get it. I was like, I’m really not doing anything remarkable here.

It has finally hit me though. There are a lot of people who really have no idea about any of this. Some because of religious reasons, some because of cultural reasons, some because of basic lack of education.

There are so many cultures that refuse to even discuss it. This floors me because these cultures still exist, which means, they have to be having sex and making babies and stuff somehow.

I also understand a bit more about why I get my information reported so often on social media. I thought there were prudes in the world, but I always figured they’d like, I don’t know, not bother with me because they shouldn’t even be actively looking for my stuff. Pretty sure it’s a fetish of some of these people to go around seeking sexual content only to complain about it.

The thing that felt the most relatable culture the culture was the struggle. The struggle to find someone not only to love but to be sexually compatible. The struggle to maintain sexual compatibility and not go sexless or find sex outside the marriage (without the other’s knowledge).

The number of sexless marriages from culture to culture was way higher than I ever would have imagined. It’s an area I’d like to delve into understanding more (not experiencing first hand though). I’ve met couples right here in the United States that are married and sexless, some after only being with each other a year, others who have been married for 50+ and just don’t want to do it with that person that way anymore.

Perhaps it’s just because my sex-drive is higher than average that I find this perplexing. I’m also not married so that could be another reason I lack the understanding.

Get 10% off your first order

Berlin looks like a place I’d fit in though. Maybe I’m a weird sex freak because of my German blood. Who knows. I have actually been contemplating giving up on dating and sex for a bit though. I’ll talk more about that tomorrow if I can muster up the courage.

I’d recommend this documentaries series though if you are as fascinated with human sexuality and different cultural opinions on romance and love as I am.

Weird Sex Wednesday: What Kind of Handcuffs to Buy for Kink Play?

handcuffs for kink play

Beginner BDSM: When You Want to Get Tied Up

Or

What Handcuffs to Use During Sexy Time

The first time I ever brought handcuffs into the bedroom I was in my mid-twenties. I had been with my then boyfriend for several years at that point and we both desired some way to spice it up. There is something quite gratifying and erotic about tying a person up and doing whatever you want to them, or vice versa (with consent of course). However, we made quite the mistake in our handcuff purchase. In fact, we knew very little at all about any sort of BDSM or kink stuff and kind of just guessed our way through it.

Sex Toys for him, for her, for both of you

We bought two metal handcuffs, like the kind police use when they’re not using those plastic zip-tie things they use now.

Though the metal handcuffs are aesthetically sexy they do two things you’re not going to like.

1. They damage the wrists. Because there’s always going to be a gap and you’re always going to squirm a bit the handcuffs are going to dig into your skin and bones and it’s not going to feel good. It’s not even going to be the type of pain that feels good, it’s just going to hurt.

2. They damage whatever you’re cuffing them to, in our case they put hundreds of scratches into the wooden frame of our bed. Not cool if you have a nice bed frame.

So what should you try instead?

If you’re just starting out and don’t want to invest a lot of money you can get a pretty cheap pair of pleather cuffs with fake fur on the inside. These work well enough and don’t hurt your wrists or your bed frame. If you have plenty of money then go for the leather ones.

I know some of you are thinking, can’t I just use some silk scarves or something?

Technically you could, but you have to make sure that you are knotting them correctly or something very similar to the metal cuff situation will happen. The person will squirm or tug at the material and the knot will get tighter and tighter until it cuts off all circulation and the wrist falls off. Just kidding. I’m sure you’d untie the person before the wrist fell off, but you get my point.

You can also try an under the bed restraint system. This uses the weight of the human body and bed itself to keep the restraints in place. It makes it so you can easily keep your kinky side hidden and works well if you have a frame you can’t really tie anything to or no frame at all. Plus you get ties for the feet and the hands so you can really tie the other person down.

Anyhoo here’s a link to some cuffs you can buy right off of Amazon.

Click Below to Buy Cuffs:

Strict Leather Premium Lockable Wrist Cuffs

Click Below to buy sexy cop outfit:

Secret Wishes Sexy Miss Demeanor Costume

Or click here to buy the Under the Bed Restraint System: 


Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System

Tits Out Tuesday: What You Need To Know About Cuffing Season

cuffing season and winter dating

What is Cuffing Season?

or

How to Decide Whether to Cuff Or Not


The phrase “cuffing season” has been around for almost a decade now, yet the actual behavior has most likely existed since the dawning of humanity.

Sure, sure, that could be an exaggeration but it probably isn’t.

Cuffing is the concept of two people forming a romantic relationship to get them through the winter. The season starts in October and ends in March (basically Halloween to Spring Break).

Lovehoney.com The Sexual Happiness People

Even though humans do not technically have a mating season and thus cuffing is not rooted in any actual biological drive, it’s still a pattern that clearly exists. Why? Because it’s cold and people want to stay warm and also not exude as much energy doing stuff. Thus it’s easier to find someone to Netflix and chill with than it is to go out actively dating multiple people.

There are arguments on both sides of the cuffing coin as to whether or not people should participate in these sort of arrangements.

Personally, I have both cuffed and not cuffed through the winter and couldn’t tell if one was better than the other because there are positives and negatives to establishing this setup.

I will say that cuffing just because you’re cold and lonely is probably not the healthiest of choices. It’s also kind of pathetic to date someone just to get through the holidays in an attempt to not get nagged by your family for being alone. If you’re dating someone as a placeholder it’s going to feel just as empty as dating no one, except it could actually be worse because you’re both using each other for ulterior motives that aren’t related to anything meaningful.

Also, you risk the chance of one or the other one developing stronger feelings and then you all have to deal with that once springtime comes around.

If on the other hand the two of you met in the late summer time and are actually interested in getting to know each other over the course of the colder months and it just happens to coincide with cuffing I wouldn’t get caught up so much in the fear that it’s just a seasonal thing.

Honestly, I wouldn’t ever get caught up in whether something has longevity or not because every day is a mystery and anything can happen. What I’ve learned is that you’re most disappointed when you create expectations for other people’s behavior and they fail to meet them. Much better to follow through on expectations you have for yourself because at least you know you can make them happen.

In the end, it’s probably better to take care of yourself and not force a temporary relationship to happen just to stay warm. There are always space heaters and thick socks. If you’re cuddling up to someone who is so-so you could potentially miss the opportunity to find the one who is woo-hoo. And though it is nice to have a regular bang buddy, it’s even better to be with someone who actually cares.

To each their own though. Good luck out there whichever way you go!

Buy The Sexy Cuffs:
Short link: https://amzn.to/2OKrDi1

Strict Leather Premium Lockable Wrist Cuffs

Buy The Sexy Cop Outfit:

Secret Wishes Sexy Miss Demeanor Costume

 

Weird Sex Wednesday: To Have or to Not Have Rebound Sex

rebound sex and why you should or shouldn't partaken in rebound sex

Getting Over Someone By Getting Under Someone Else

or

Might As Well Use Every Trick in the Book, Game On

There are so many different ways people choose to get over a bad breakup. Some people eat their feelings, some people drink their feelings, some people fuck away their feelings. Of course, any guru transformative asshat will tell you that you shouldn’t do any of those things, instead, you should feel your feelings.

Well, guess what? I’m not a transformative asshat guru. I’m more like a hot mess that can write a sentence or two and I’m here to tell you that if you want to shove gallons of ice cream down your throat, or chug a bottle of tequila or fuck your next Tinder match within minutes of meeting– go for it.

Who the fuck am I to tell anyone what they can or can’t do?

Free delivery on all orders over $60

Personally, I love rebound sex.

We can’t all spend every hour of every day “processing our feelings.” Barf. Of course, you probably should spend SOME time processing your feelings but it’s okay to take a break from it, to take an actual actionable step toward recovery. Sometimes that action is getting action.

Here are some reasons to love rebound sex.

  • Rebound Sex can distract you from your pain for a brief moment in time.
  • Rebound Sex can help you discover more about your sexuality.
  • Rebound Sex can get you over that withdraw of touch you’ve been trying to overcome.
  • Orgasms.
  • Calories burned!
  • Connection to another human.
  • Orgasms!
  • Rebound sex can help you release neurotransmitters in your brain that actually improve your mood.
  • Rebound sex can give you a self-esteem boost. (Let’s be real, even if you love yourself and all of that, it’s nice to feel wanted.)
  • Rebound sex can let you explore different sex stuff that you didn’t get to do with your ex. Pegging, anyone?
  • Rebound sex is great exercise.
  • Oh, yeah, and ORGASMS.

Sure, sure, sex isn’t ALL about orgasms but gee golly it sure is nice to have one or a hundred in a night.

Free delivery on all orders over $60

My recent rebound sex has been phenomenal. Damn. Starting to sweat just thinking about it. It took me like two days to recover and start walking properly again. Have I gotten over my ex (who was never my ex because we were never technically together)? Not entirely. Let’s be real. Have I been feeling my feelings? Yes. Because I can feel feelings and eat ice cream and drink tequila and have sex because it doesn’t hurt to try everything, right?

Rebound game on.

Want to Buy Your Own Ref Costume (Or for Someone You Love)? Here’s one similar to the one in my video:
Leg Avenue Women’s No Rules Referee

Friday Feels: Thoughts on the Satanic Witch

witchcraft and seduction

The Forbidden Knowledge of Seduction

or

Wait, Wait, I’m About to Enchant You

I’ve consumed many inspirational, transformational, self-help, dating advice books over the years. I’ve worked in the mindful industry for a decade now, so I’ve seen and heard it all. Or at least a great deal of it.

So when the guy I am no longer (nor ever technically was) seeing gave me this book to read I was like, alright, okay, I’ll give it a whirl.

If I had read this a year ago I would have been mortified. It was full of gender stereotyping that many women these days would find highly offensive. I’ve given up on being offended by this sort of thing. Instead, I tried to see it from the author’s perspective. I imagined for a second if he was right. I may have even attempted a thing or two in the book — don’t worry boys I did not become a succubus… yet.

Buy the book: The Satanic Witch

Would I consider myself a satanic witch now? No. Nah. One does not become a satanic witch just by reading one book about it. If we became the things we’ve read about then I’d also be a tree and an alien monster living on a planet far far away from here.

I did like the historical elements. For example, there was some detailed information about the gingerbread man that I had no idea about. In this video I read the excerpt from the book:

I also found the idea of being attracted to your core demon self to be fascinating. For example, if you’re a super masculine manly man on the outside, your demonic core is super feminine, and can often only come out in the form of another person–hence why opposites attract.

Maybe I have so much trouble with men because I’m so perfectly balanced. Muhahah. Cackle cackle cackle.

If you’re lucky I’ll put a spell on you too.