5 Ways to Ease Your Sexual Frustration During Quarantine

Sexually Frustrated During Quarantine?

5 Things That Can Help Ease Sexual Frustration

You know, when I moved from Denver to rural Kansas I knew my sex life was going to take a big hit (or lack of hits, I guess haha). But I was unprepared for this sort of quarantine drama. It’s way different when you purposely abstain because you’re looking for something more meaningful or you’re tired of getting pumped and dumped or you’re seeking God or whatever, but to be single and not being able to get laid, makes a person WANT it all the more. Or maybe it’s just me. But I’ve talked to a few people and I’m pretty sure it’s not just me. 

It has gotten a bit out of control, what was once a thought about sex every 25-63 seconds has now gotten up to be hover more around like 7 seconds. And the thoughts are getting weird. Pornhub searches are getting weirder (hear about them on my Patreon); the things, ideas, people I’ve considered humping when this is all over has really gone off the deep end. I even thought that Arnold Schwarzenegger looked good and I have never been into that much muscle. 

In reality, I know that this time will fly by like a wink of an eye, and I understand that springtime brings with it its own extra element of procreational desires–the owls are hooting–the turkeys are gobbling–the bulls are strutting– all the wild life are running around doing it, tis the season. 

So, what do you do if you’re sexually frustrated and in quarantine? What if you can’t wank off or you’ve wanked off so much you’re starting to cause physical damage? Or it’s just become so boring yet the energy hasn’t gone away? Well, you’re in luck. I’ve put together a list:

5 things to Do with Your Pent Up Sexual Energy

  1. Sit and Don’t Think About What You’ve Done

Aka meditate. I know, at first it sounds counter-intuitive, if you’re having wild sex thoughts, craving sex, getting turned on by the craziest people, ideas, things, etc. that sitting around doing nothing about it would be the worst idea ever. But, running away from the issue isn’t going to help either. The concept is to turn into the craving, not necessarily succumb to it, but feel the feeling of it and recognize it as just that, a feeling. And like every other feeling, let it pass by like a cloud in the blue blue sky. 

  1. Move it or Lose It aka Workout

You must let that energy escape somehow. Start with a few jumping jacks, maybe some sit ups, follow-up with a couple of pushups (if your boner doesn’t get in the way). Or go for a long run. Move your body. Move it until you can’t move it anymore if you must. Sweat it out. Do it. Just do it. Oh. yeah. 

  1. Take Cold Showers Every Day

And blow my life away on a dream that won’t come true. (Anyone else a Grease fan?). This one is pretty self-explanatory. Cool off. Or turn up the heat and take care of business again. It may be one of the few places you have privacy (if you live with other people). It will at least give you something to do and ease the smell of living that one pair of gnarly sweatpants you own. 

  1. Play With It

Still sexually frustrated but also bored? There’s never been a better time to bring out your sex toys — or get yourself a new one. I have plenty of articles on the best ones out there, like The Best Sex Toys or Men, Best Sex Toys for Couples, or Best Sex Toys For Any Budget etc. Check out Lelo for some of the best high quality toys around–and change up your typical wank off routine (for women, men, couples and everyone in between). 

  1. Make it or Break It

Most importantly, the best thing to do with your pent up sexual energy is create. Your sexual center and your creativity center are interconnected so if you’re struggling in one area, give attention to the other and you might find a solution. Creating doesn’t have to be for anyone but yourself–whether you decide to write a song or a story or a poem, paint or draw, dance around the room, play music, bake bread (like everyone else seems to be doing)– cover your entire body in googly eyes and walk around the neighborhood spying on everyone– whatever you do, do it for you. It’s all about expressing a part of yourself to yourself–don’t worry what anyone else will think of it. 

So there you have it. 5 ways to make it through this quarantine a little less sexually frustrated. If you have any other ideas please feel free to leave them in the comments below. 

If you need help finding the perfect sex toy for you feel free to send me an email or drop me a message in Instagram.

Also, follow my Patreon for video diaries, pics you won’t see anywhere else, DMs gone wrong and so much more. 

Best Anal Sex Toys For Beginners

best anal toys for beginners

A Review of Lovehoney’s Bumper Booty Bundle Anal Sex Toy Kit

or

Enjoy The Final Days of Anal August

lovehoney anal sex toy kit
what what in the butt butt!

When I decided to make Anal August my theme this month I didn’t realize how, well, anal, people would be about it. It was much more difficult to find someone who wanted to explore the back door than I thought it would be. Perhaps it didn’t help that I was going through a break-up and anal play isn’t great with regards to fight fucking and/or crying into your pillow alone.

I was on a mission though. Lovehoney was kind enough to send me their Bumper Booty Bundle Anal Sex Toy Kit and I promised to review it.

Finally, just in the nick of time, I was able to try almost everything in the kit out–solo and with a partner.

Anal is weird. Like, I’ve made it a personal rule to only have anal sex with boyfriends. I think I’ve done this because I’m so easy everywhere else and it’s nice to create a boundary where the other person can feel a bit more special. (Plus, anal is a lot of work.)

Of course, sticking toys up the bum is different than a dick. For one, they’re typically smaller– at least with the dicks I meet.

So here’s what I thought about my most recent exploration of butt toys.

Discover Fifty Shades Darker

My Anal Toy Review

The Bumper Booty Bundle Anal Sex Kit comes with 6 different items.

Two different sized butt plugs, anal beads, a prostate toy, an anal douche, and a bullet vibe.

how to have anal sex
So much what what for your butt, butt!

If you’re new to anal then I would definitely recommend this kit.

For one it’s at a very affordable price for all that you’re getting and it gives you quite a variety for your explorative ways.

Let’s start with the anal douche as that is where one should start if they’re getting this kit.

I want to be upfront here. I had never used an anal douche before this one. Before I get into my commentary I’ll tell you right now that I failed at using it properly. This was definitely user error and not the product itself.

The whole point of an anal douche is so you can rinse out your butt and feel cleaner, but you don’t NEED to douche your anal hole if you eat enough fiber, poop regularly, and avoid scarfing down a bunch of Taco Bell right before you stick something up there. Yes, you might get a bit of shit on the toy but it’s not like it will be drenched in it or anything.

I followed the directions.

I filled the douche up with tepid clean water.

I put lube on the toy and my butt hole.

I squatted over the bathtub then stuck it in.

This is where I got umm stuck…. I squeezed the balloon thing and no water would come out.

I don’t know, maybe I wasn’t strong enough. I started to get freaked out because only air was coming out and I remember reading about women who have died from having air blown up their vaginas (which I looked up can actually happen but is incredibly rare) and thought that maybe the same thing could happen in the butt hole. Was I high and a bit paranoid, I don’t know, maybe. Anyway, I squeezed it. The water didn’t want to come out, so I gave up. I will try this again of course, but that was my first experience with it.

anal_douche

After my failed anal douching attempt I headed back to the bedroom and explored the toys.

They’re all made from high-quality silicone. I’m a pretty snobby bitch when it comes to the material of sex toys, so “high quality” is tolerable though I’d prefer medical-grade. You can tell if something is made from actual quality silicone by the smell. If it smells like chemicals and plastic then it is made from chemicals and plastic no matter what the description says on the label (yes, some companies lie, imagine that). Anyhoo, these toys don’t have that weird smell (they MIGHT have a weird smell AFTER being in your butt, but that’s an entirely different situation there.)

I pulled the bullet vibe out of the anal beads (which takes some muscle and maneuvering so don’t get discouraged about that it just means the bullet will stay put when it’s in the toy) and I put a triple-A battery inside it. It’s actually nice that this bullet takes a triple-A battery because a lot of the cheaper bullets use watch batteries which not only suck to deal with but also don’t last very long. The bullet was pretty powerful too, though some of the settings were way better than others.

With regards to bullet vibes, I’d recommend people invest in the We-Vibe Tango. It’s compatible with any toy that has a bullet hole in the base (like all of these bumper booty toys), it’s rechargeable, made from medical-grade material AND the best part–it’s super duper powerful. (You can check out the We-Vibe Tango for yourself here.)

Next, I stuck the bullet vibe that came with the kit into the larger-sized butt plug. I decided to skip using the smaller butt plug because I am not a beginner. If you are a beginner and have stuck no thing up your butt ever than the smaller butt plug is a good place to start. It doesn’t have a hole for the vibe because it too small to handle it.

Here’s what’s so interesting about anal sex to me. It takes a type of mindfulness to execute properly. Entry into the butt requires lube and relaxation. I used the Wicked Sensual Water-Based Anal Lube (which you can buy here) took a deep breath and slowly pushed the plug in.

The initial entry is where there is always the most struggle and pain. (If there’s A LOT of pain I’d suggest stopping and applying more lube or stopping altogether.) Once it’s inside though it’s smooth sailing. The vibe was strong enough I could definitely feel it. I needed more than just butt stimulation for an orgasm though, so I added on my Lelo Sona Cruise (read my full review here or explore the Sona for yourself here).

Side note. I watched porn while using these toys. It was some Australian thing with two women and two men. One of the women was like mega-porn looking (fake tits, fake lips, too much makeup) the other one claimed to be 18 when she was at least 28 while the dude who was fucking her claimed to be 53 when he was at least 65. The whole thing weirded me out. Like, I get this is supposed to be a fantasy, but this was more of a fantasy between the four of them than for the audience.

I digress.

Free delivery on all orders over $60

Finally. The following day, my manfriend came over and stuck the anal beads in my ass.

I replaced the original bullet with the We-Vibe Tango and could feel a bit more power in this toy because of that. This was my first time using anal beads. They went in fine. We fucked doggie-style and as he would thrust it would move the toy slightly back and forth which was a pleasurable feeling. We were not able to pull them out during my orgasm because he came first. Jerk.

Just kidding.

I will have to try them again though because I really want to know if that heightens the orgasm or not. I have a feeling that it would work better on men than women because of the whole prostate thing.

Speaking of prostate thing, I do not have one so I did not play with that toy. Yes, I could have stuck it up some dude’s butt, but as I said at the beginning of this rather lengthy review no one would agree to it. It looks like it could be fun, particularly for people who are just starting out in their prostate exploration as it is not too large and has a good curve to it.

Anyway. Hope you all had a happy Anal August. If you want to buy the Lovehoney Bumper Booty Sex Toy Kit for yourself (or any other sex stuff) follow this link.

Use promo code HONEYX10 to get 10% off EVERYTHING while you’re there!

9 Sexy Gift Ideas for Your Favorite Daddy

gift ideas for sugar daddys

Daddy Knows Best

or

Buy Something Sweet or Sexy For Your Daddy This Father’s Day

Father’s Day is just around the corner and though I do have an amazing father, I’m not here to talk about that kind of father.

Today I want to talk about Daddys.

Now, I’ve never had a Daddy, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t. I’m pretty picky about that sort of thing. Though I like nice dinners and drinks and clothes etc. I’m not going to pretend to be interested in a dude just for stuff.

No, if I ever had a Sugar Daddy it would have to be some sort of mutually stimulating relationship, mind + body + fun stuff. Not just the fun stuff because I stroked his ego like he liked it.

Anyway. I do have friends with Daddys and I think it’s only appropriate that if you have a Daddy you get your Daddy a Father’s Day gift. (Or if you’re sleeping with an actual dad or you just want to buy a dude a present).

So, here are 9 Gift Ideas for the Daddy (or Dude) in Your Life:

(Obviously make sure you use Daddy’s credit card to buy his gift or what’s the point in having a Daddy.)

{Click on the image to be taken directly to purchase from We-Vibe, Lelo, or Amazon}

1. Male Masturbator

Dudes who say that there aren’t any good masturbation toys out there just haven’t done the research. I know FIRST HAND that the Tenga Flip Cups are amazing. I have witnessed one in action on multiple different wang-a-langs and I can tell you that these work wonders. Way better than the Flesh Light. These are designed to actually be easy to clean after splooging all up in them.

The flip holes and the flip zeros each have different textures inside them. The holes have three different pressure points so you can hold on and press down where it fits best on your carrot. The Zero is the newest design and looks just absolutely amazing. The best thing about this is that you can give Daddy a hand-job and not even have to touch his wee-wee. Or let him take care of himself while you paint your nails or whatever.

The Tenga Flip Zero:

2. An Upscale Vibrating Cock Ring

There’s nothing wrong with those cheap plastic throw-aways but Daddy deserves the best so why not hook him up with something that could potentially please both of you (if you do have sex with Daddy, some babies do not). Anyhoo. These three are all rechargeable and made out of medical-grade materials. The top two (verge and oden) are designed to stimulate the perineum (and balls) while the last one on the list, the Lelo Tor, can be turned up to hit the clit or down to vibrate the balls.

We-Vibe – Verge

Lelo – Oden

ODEN_300x250

Lelo – Tor

3. Njoy Prostate Plug
Daddy knows that one of the best ways to have explosive mind-blowing orgasms is through stimulating the prostate. Buy him the shiny fancy looking one. The hard as fuck material is much easier to clean and maintain, plus you can do temperature play to heat things up or cool things down depending on the mood of the night. (There are rumors that these also make great paperweights… if you’re looking for even more versatility).

4. BBQ Grill Set Dad
Your Daddy doesn’t grill? That’s okay, I bet your Daddy spanks you though. Sure, sure your Daddy can use these to flip the meat but this BBQ Grill Set can also be used as pervertables (regular objects turned into sex toys). Use your imagination and be safe (I don’t really want to know what you end up doing with those tongs).

5. Rosetta Stone
Buy your Daddy Rosetta Stone so he can learn the language of the country you want him to take you to. Hint, Hint, Daddy, take me to Italy and converse with the locals so I can kick back, drink wine and be pretty.

6. A Customized Poem for Daddy
I wouldn’t be writing this blog if my roommate hadn’t mentioned she was writing a ‘Daddy’ poem for Father’s Day. So, here’s a shout-out to the talented Abigail Mott who can write you a poem for your Daddy on ANY topic of your choice.

Daddy, Daddy, Oh Daddy, Oh
I like the way you
Buy me clothes

(That was my attempt, she does about a million times better.)

7. Nose and Ear Hair Trimmer
If your Daddy has been annoying you lately due to his apparent extensive aging process and deterioration get him a nose and ear trimmer to remind him how much younger you are than him.

8. Cologne
Does Daddy has a bit of old man smell to him? Give him the goods to mask it. Or just smell a bit better.

Idk if the bottle below smells good I just liked the classy look of it. My favorite is Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue… but you ‘nose’ best.

9. A fancy as fuck camera so he can take amazing pictures of you for your Instagram page
You know Daddy wants to support your social media “modeling” career, what better way than with a gift that gives back to both of you AND all of your followers.

Let me know if Daddy likes!

P.S.
If you want to be my Daddy and receive one of these amazing gifts someday you can start by buying me something special from my Amazon Wish List. I’ll decide by your choice if you’re worth it. Or if you don’t want to be my Daddy and just want to show your support I will also accept that.

P.P.S.
Bonus! Random rant about the eggplant emoji:

 

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Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo