5 Ways to Ease Your Sexual Frustration During Quarantine

Sexually Frustrated During Quarantine?

5 Things That Can Help Ease Sexual Frustration

You know, when I moved from Denver to rural Kansas I knew my sex life was going to take a big hit (or lack of hits, I guess haha). But I was unprepared for this sort of quarantine drama. It’s way different when you purposely abstain because you’re looking for something more meaningful or you’re tired of getting pumped and dumped or you’re seeking God or whatever, but to be single and not being able to get laid, makes a person WANT it all the more. Or maybe it’s just me. But I’ve talked to a few people and I’m pretty sure it’s not just me. 

It has gotten a bit out of control, what was once a thought about sex every 25-63 seconds has now gotten up to be hover more around like 7 seconds. And the thoughts are getting weird. Pornhub searches are getting weirder (hear about them on my Patreon); the things, ideas, people I’ve considered humping when this is all over has really gone off the deep end. I even thought that Arnold Schwarzenegger looked good and I have never been into that much muscle. 

In reality, I know that this time will fly by like a wink of an eye, and I understand that springtime brings with it its own extra element of procreational desires–the owls are hooting–the turkeys are gobbling–the bulls are strutting– all the wild life are running around doing it, tis the season. 

So, what do you do if you’re sexually frustrated and in quarantine? What if you can’t wank off or you’ve wanked off so much you’re starting to cause physical damage? Or it’s just become so boring yet the energy hasn’t gone away? Well, you’re in luck. I’ve put together a list:

5 things to Do with Your Pent Up Sexual Energy

  1. Sit and Don’t Think About What You’ve Done

Aka meditate. I know, at first it sounds counter-intuitive, if you’re having wild sex thoughts, craving sex, getting turned on by the craziest people, ideas, things, etc. that sitting around doing nothing about it would be the worst idea ever. But, running away from the issue isn’t going to help either. The concept is to turn into the craving, not necessarily succumb to it, but feel the feeling of it and recognize it as just that, a feeling. And like every other feeling, let it pass by like a cloud in the blue blue sky. 

  1. Move it or Lose It aka Workout

You must let that energy escape somehow. Start with a few jumping jacks, maybe some sit ups, follow-up with a couple of pushups (if your boner doesn’t get in the way). Or go for a long run. Move your body. Move it until you can’t move it anymore if you must. Sweat it out. Do it. Just do it. Oh. yeah. 

  1. Take Cold Showers Every Day

And blow my life away on a dream that won’t come true. (Anyone else a Grease fan?). This one is pretty self-explanatory. Cool off. Or turn up the heat and take care of business again. It may be one of the few places you have privacy (if you live with other people). It will at least give you something to do and ease the smell of living that one pair of gnarly sweatpants you own. 

  1. Play With It

Still sexually frustrated but also bored? There’s never been a better time to bring out your sex toys — or get yourself a new one. I have plenty of articles on the best ones out there, like The Best Sex Toys or Men, Best Sex Toys for Couples, or Best Sex Toys For Any Budget etc. Check out Lelo for some of the best high quality toys around–and change up your typical wank off routine (for women, men, couples and everyone in between). 

  1. Make it or Break It

Most importantly, the best thing to do with your pent up sexual energy is create. Your sexual center and your creativity center are interconnected so if you’re struggling in one area, give attention to the other and you might find a solution. Creating doesn’t have to be for anyone but yourself–whether you decide to write a song or a story or a poem, paint or draw, dance around the room, play music, bake bread (like everyone else seems to be doing)– cover your entire body in googly eyes and walk around the neighborhood spying on everyone– whatever you do, do it for you. It’s all about expressing a part of yourself to yourself–don’t worry what anyone else will think of it. 

So there you have it. 5 ways to make it through this quarantine a little less sexually frustrated. If you have any other ideas please feel free to leave them in the comments below. 

If you need help finding the perfect sex toy for you feel free to send me an email or drop me a message in Instagram.

Also, follow my Patreon for video diaries, pics you won’t see anywhere else, DMs gone wrong and so much more. 

Burning Man Butt Story + BDSM Kink Toy Review: Tantus Tawse It Overboard

tantus tawse

Tawse It For a Good Time


If You Like Pain, You’re In Luck

One warm evening during my first (and currently only) trip to Burning Man my friend and I decided we were going to ride our bikes all the way across the Playa to check out this DJ set that was going all night long. Of course, it being Burning Man, I never made it to the DJ set. Along the way we were yelled at by a bunch of guys in kilts who insisted we stop and drink a beer with them. Since my friend and I are quite talented at drinking beer we agreed. Turns out, we were drinking beer at an Australian BDSM Kink camp. They were playing this dice game where if you lost you had to take a beating and if you won you got to beat one of the Doms playing. There were a couple of people ahead of me and I got a little bored waiting.

Finally, I was like, can someone just hit me with something because I don’t care about playing this game.  

Of course, when I said that I was making direct eye contact with the hottest guy at the camp, and at that point the hottest guy I had seen at Burning Man (until the Hottest Sex I’ve Ever Had story happened later), he quickly agreed. I found out his name was Tetris.

Tetris made his own toys and flogged me with his favorite flogger. Then after he flogged me about 60x times with that flogger he proceeded to test pretty much every single other device they had at the camp, which was a lot of devices. The toy that hurt the most and left the biggest mark was a paddle with a bunch of holes carved out. He hit me so hard with that paddle it left circles on my ass that lasted basically the rest of the time I was there. See for yourself:

Anyway, many more adventures continued with Tetris, I even found a way to get out of these fancy handcuffs that he claimed no woman had ever been able to get out of before, but all of that for another day, another time, perhaps in my book if we’re all lucky.

The whole point of the story was to say that I have experienced many different types of floggers, paddles, crops, hands, pervertables in my lifespan thus far. But I had yet to try a tawse. In fact, I didn’t even know there was a particular word for this shape of toy until I looked into it more.

Turns out the tawse was used as a form of punishment for school children, mostly in Scotland. In fact, it was used in Scotland up until 1987, so some of you Scotts may still have fond memories of this tool. And by fond I mean horrific.

The tawse I recently acquired from the amazing company Tantus has 4-tongues and is made out of ultra-premium silicone, which is somehow even more intense then the typical leather. It also has a six inch handle that can be used for impact play or as an insertable. The tawse is also Hypoallergenic, Hygienic, Boilable, Bleachable and Dishwasher Safe.

I’ll tell you what, my friend came by one day, she picked it up and slapped me playfully across the thigh and even that light impact hurt like a bitch. I felt it for at least an hour afterward. This is not a toy to fuck around with, it will leave a mark. My roommate and I tested it briefly over our jeans. We did some light warm ups with a couple of heavy hits and that was enough to make me stand around instead of sit down for awhile.

I’m honestly kind of scared to hand it over to a Dom because I do like being able to walk around and I’m not sure I’ll be able to use my backside for a week after. I will do it though because even though I’m a switch I do lean more on the masochist side, I just have to prepare my brain for the pain. A let go of control of course.

There’s still a lot to test with it so I’ll do another update as I mess around with it more.

That being said, if you’re looking to up the intensity of your play sessions this is a good way to go. It’s much cheaper than a trip to Burning Man, though if you make it there and find a sexy man named Tetris tell him I say hello.  

Buy the Tawse It Overboard (or shop other great Tantus products) Here

Can you handle it?

Masturbation Monday: Sex Toy Review, The Nova by We-Vibe

rabbit sex toy vibrator review

Review of Nova from We-Vibe the Dual Stimulation Vibrator


What’s a Good G-Spot and Clitoral Vibrator in One?

It’s Masturbation Monday yet again. Today I’m talking about the dual stimulation vibrator Nova from We-Vibe. This sex toy is designed to stimulate both the g-spot and the clitoris at the same time. It’s made to flex with you aka the clitoral part moves for better coverage, unlike many other rabbit vibrators that are stationary in location.

I’ve always been a big fan of We-Vibe products. The Tango is my favorite bullet vibrator. The touch a close second (it covers a bit more surface area than the Tango but can’t be used in toys that have bullet holes). I even had fun with the couple’s vibrator that put We-Vibe on the map way back in the day.

Personally, I’m not the biggest fan of internal / g-spot sex toys myself. I get off much easier with just clitoral stimulation, but every once in a while, particularly when there has been a dick drought, an internal toy is nice to experience.

And yes, I can have a g-spot orgasm and yes I can squirt… but it’s not as good of an orgasm as the clitoral and it makes much more of a puddle so I often times choose not to bother.

The dual stimulators are nice because they give you the best of both worlds.

The Nova has all sorts of features:

  • Waterproof
  • Recharegable
  • Quiet
  • Body-safe silicone (free from phthalates, latex, and BPA)
  • 2-year warranty
  • 2 motors and 10+ vibration modes

The coolest (and also not coolest) part about many of the new we-vibe sex toys is that they now work with the We-Connect App.

Yes, you can now control your vibrator through your phone.

This was super fun to play with and actually easier than using the buttons on the vibrator (when the App worked). You can move the speed up and down or swipe for different vibration modes. Even better–you can create your own vibration mode.

The other thing you can do with the app is share it with a lover so they can control the device through their phone even when you’re not in the same space– which could potentially be great for long-distance relationships or web-cam stuff.

(Check out my Patreon to see exclusive content + bonus stuff when we hit my goal aka witness an artsy fartsy video involving the Nova).

I do have to say that this review has taken a while because I did have some issues with the app and the vibrator. Every time I swiped for a different vibration mode on the phone the vibrator would turn off and I’d have to reprogram the entire thing (then it would do the same thing again even after a factory reset). The staff at We-Vibe was very friendly and replaced the toy. They also told me that this is the first time they’ve ever heard of such an issue, which I wasn’t super surprised to hear since I am known to cause technology to act a bit weird in my presence.

Explore the Nova for yourself here.

rabbit sex toy vibrator review

Then I looked up reviews on the app store and saw an entirely different story.

It appears that many people have been having issues syncing these toys with the app.

So, bottom line–the concept is great, the execution of said concept seems like it might need a little more work.

In the end, I’ve never been disappointed by a we-vibe product (though yes, I am disappointed by the app connection).

My advice would be to consider what kind of stimulation you enjoy and pick a toy out according to that. They have nearly everything you can think of including clitoral, anal, g-spot, dual, and cock rings.

If your main reason for buying the toy is to use for long-distance maybe this isn’t the BEST choice at the current moment, but once they get the app refined a bit more I’m sure it will be amazing.

Check out the Nova For Yourself Here

Or Discover the We-Vibe site + get free shipping on orders over $50
Receive Free, Discreet Shipping on all We-Vibe orders.

Get Sliquids lube here.
Sliquid Organics Natural Lubricating Gel, 8.5 Ounce

Lelo Sona Cruise Review Update

review of the sey toy the lelo sonic cruise

Positive Vibes with the Lelo Sona Cruise


Vroom Vroom with the Lelo Sona Cruise

So a few months ago some loyal friends/followers of Go Eat a Carrot pitched in and sent me the Lelo Sona Cruise (from my Amazon Wishlist). I reviewed it after using it for a week, but thought I’d give another update since I’ve had some more time to spend with it.

Read the original Lelo Sona Cruise Review here. 

One of the women who pitched in to send me the sonic cruise told me that she had the Womanizer and liked it, but it wasn’t a favorite and the novelty of it wore off pretty quick. I emailed the womanizer company and they told me they were going to send me one so I could compare and contrast the two, but that has yet to happen so I cannot speak to the Womanizer. (Perhaps someday this dream will come true.)

lelo sonic cruise and hitachi review
When they say ‘more than two’ they’re talking about vibrators, right?

On the subject of losing its novelty, I will say that has yet to happen with the Lelo Sona Cruise. I will say that when I initially started to use it, it was super intense. I believe the first time I tried it I had an orgasm in under a minute. Now my body has adapted to the intensity and so it takes a bit longer. I don’t use the sonic cruise every day. I rotate between the we-vibe tango (a bullet clit vibrator), the Hitachi magic wand, and the Sona Cruise.

Read my review of the best quality quiet vibrators here.

Wait. You masturbate every day?
Yeah, pretty much. Except for last week when I was overcoming a horrible heartbreak and thought I’d never have any sort of sex ever again, but that’s a different story.

Read Falling in Love with a Sociopath here.

The Lelo Sona Cruise is made out of medical-grade silicone and is waterproof, which makes it easy to clean. It’s also rechargable and technically small enough to travel with if you’re the type of person who travels with a big ass bag.

I’ve tried to incorporate it during sex with other people, but it’s not as easy to keep in place as say the we-vibe tango.

Discover the We-Vibe Tango Here.

It’s funny because the company talks about how nearly silent the toy is, and it can be pretty quiet that’s for sure, particularly with solo use. For some reason when I used it with a partner I think there must have been too much movement because it made some pretty interesting zippity do-da noises. Mechanical purring is the best way to describe it.

The sona cruise is a clitoral vibrator, so the circle-end section rests on the clitoris. Instead of using typical vibrations it uses sonic waves to create sensation. I’m typically not one for different wave effects, but with this toy, it works (it works quite well in fact).

In the end, months later anyway, I’d still recommend this toy if you or someone you love is into clitoral stimulation.

Finally, it’s the one year anniversary of the Lelo Sona Cruise and to celebrate they’re offering up to 47% off many items on their website. (Plus free shipping over $50) Follow this Lelo link for the offer if you want to browse the products yourself (they actually have so many amazing toys you can’t really go wrong with anything you choose).

Weird Sex Wednesday: What Kind of Handcuffs to Buy for Kink Play?

handcuffs for kink play

Beginner BDSM: When You Want to Get Tied Up


What Handcuffs to Use During Sexy Time

The first time I ever brought handcuffs into the bedroom I was in my mid-twenties. I had been with my then boyfriend for several years at that point and we both desired some way to spice it up. There is something quite gratifying and erotic about tying a person up and doing whatever you want to them, or vice versa (with consent of course). However, we made quite the mistake in our handcuff purchase. In fact, we knew very little at all about any sort of BDSM or kink stuff and kind of just guessed our way through it.

Sex Toys for him, for her, for both of you

We bought two metal handcuffs, like the kind police use when they’re not using those plastic zip-tie things they use now.

Though the metal handcuffs are aesthetically sexy they do two things you’re not going to like.

1. They damage the wrists. Because there’s always going to be a gap and you’re always going to squirm a bit the handcuffs are going to dig into your skin and bones and it’s not going to feel good. It’s not even going to be the type of pain that feels good, it’s just going to hurt.

2. They damage whatever you’re cuffing them to, in our case they put hundreds of scratches into the wooden frame of our bed. Not cool if you have a nice bed frame.

So what should you try instead?

If you’re just starting out and don’t want to invest a lot of money you can get a pretty cheap pair of pleather cuffs with fake fur on the inside. These work well enough and don’t hurt your wrists or your bed frame. If you have plenty of money then go for the leather ones.

I know some of you are thinking, can’t I just use some silk scarves or something?

Technically you could, but you have to make sure that you are knotting them correctly or something very similar to the metal cuff situation will happen. The person will squirm or tug at the material and the knot will get tighter and tighter until it cuts off all circulation and the wrist falls off. Just kidding. I’m sure you’d untie the person before the wrist fell off, but you get my point.

You can also try an under the bed restraint system. This uses the weight of the human body and bed itself to keep the restraints in place. It makes it so you can easily keep your kinky side hidden and works well if you have a frame you can’t really tie anything to or no frame at all. Plus you get ties for the feet and the hands so you can really tie the other person down.

Anyhoo here’s a link to some cuffs you can buy right off of Amazon.

Click Below to Buy Cuffs:

Strict Leather Premium Lockable Wrist Cuffs

Click Below to buy sexy cop outfit:

Secret Wishes Sexy Miss Demeanor Costume

Or click here to buy the Under the Bed Restraint System: 

Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System

9 Sexy Gift Ideas for Your Favorite Daddy

gift ideas for sugar daddys

Daddy Knows Best


Buy Something Sweet or Sexy For Your Daddy This Father’s Day

Father’s Day is just around the corner and though I do have an amazing father, I’m not here to talk about that kind of father.

Today I want to talk about Daddys.

Now, I’ve never had a Daddy, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t. I’m pretty picky about that sort of thing. Though I like nice dinners and drinks and clothes etc. I’m not going to pretend to be interested in a dude just for stuff.

No, if I ever had a Sugar Daddy it would have to be some sort of mutually stimulating relationship, mind + body + fun stuff. Not just the fun stuff because I stroked his ego like he liked it.

Anyway. I do have friends with Daddys and I think it’s only appropriate that if you have a Daddy you get your Daddy a Father’s Day gift. (Or if you’re sleeping with an actual dad or you just want to buy a dude a present).

So, here are 9 Gift Ideas for the Daddy (or Dude) in Your Life:

(Obviously make sure you use Daddy’s credit card to buy his gift or what’s the point in having a Daddy.)

{Click on the image to be taken directly to purchase from We-Vibe, Lelo, or Amazon}

1. Male Masturbator

Dudes who say that there aren’t any good masturbation toys out there just haven’t done the research. I know FIRST HAND that the Tenga Flip Cups are amazing. I have witnessed one in action on multiple different wang-a-langs and I can tell you that these work wonders. Way better than the Flesh Light. These are designed to actually be easy to clean after splooging all up in them.

The flip holes and the flip zeros each have different textures inside them. The holes have three different pressure points so you can hold on and press down where it fits best on your carrot. The Zero is the newest design and looks just absolutely amazing. The best thing about this is that you can give Daddy a hand-job and not even have to touch his wee-wee. Or let him take care of himself while you paint your nails or whatever.

The Tenga Flip Zero:

2. An Upscale Vibrating Cock Ring

There’s nothing wrong with those cheap plastic throw-aways but Daddy deserves the best so why not hook him up with something that could potentially please both of you (if you do have sex with Daddy, some babies do not). Anyhoo. These three are all rechargeable and made out of medical-grade materials. The top two (verge and oden) are designed to stimulate the perineum (and balls) while the last one on the list, the Lelo Tor, can be turned up to hit the clit or down to vibrate the balls.

We-Vibe – Verge

Lelo – Oden


Lelo – Tor

3. Njoy Prostate Plug
Daddy knows that one of the best ways to have explosive mind-blowing orgasms is through stimulating the prostate. Buy him the shiny fancy looking one. The hard as fuck material is much easier to clean and maintain, plus you can do temperature play to heat things up or cool things down depending on the mood of the night. (There are rumors that these also make great paperweights… if you’re looking for even more versatility).

4. BBQ Grill Set Dad
Your Daddy doesn’t grill? That’s okay, I bet your Daddy spanks you though. Sure, sure your Daddy can use these to flip the meat but this BBQ Grill Set can also be used as pervertables (regular objects turned into sex toys). Use your imagination and be safe (I don’t really want to know what you end up doing with those tongs).

5. Rosetta Stone
Buy your Daddy Rosetta Stone so he can learn the language of the country you want him to take you to. Hint, Hint, Daddy, take me to Italy and converse with the locals so I can kick back, drink wine and be pretty.

6. A Customized Poem for Daddy
I wouldn’t be writing this blog if my roommate hadn’t mentioned she was writing a ‘Daddy’ poem for Father’s Day. So, here’s a shout-out to the talented Abigail Mott who can write you a poem for your Daddy on ANY topic of your choice.

Daddy, Daddy, Oh Daddy, Oh
I like the way you
Buy me clothes

(That was my attempt, she does about a million times better.)

7. Nose and Ear Hair Trimmer
If your Daddy has been annoying you lately due to his apparent extensive aging process and deterioration get him a nose and ear trimmer to remind him how much younger you are than him.

8. Cologne
Does Daddy has a bit of old man smell to him? Give him the goods to mask it. Or just smell a bit better.

Idk if the bottle below smells good I just liked the classy look of it. My favorite is Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue… but you ‘nose’ best.

9. A fancy as fuck camera so he can take amazing pictures of you for your Instagram page
You know Daddy wants to support your social media “modeling” career, what better way than with a gift that gives back to both of you AND all of your followers.

Let me know if Daddy likes!

If you want to be my Daddy and receive one of these amazing gifts someday you can start by buying me something special from my Amazon Wish List. I’ll decide by your choice if you’re worth it. Or if you don’t want to be my Daddy and just want to show your support I will also accept that.

Bonus! Random rant about the eggplant emoji:


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Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands: