Friday Feels: Life Without Sex

life without sex

Two Weeks Sex-Free

or

How Long Have You Gone Without Sex?

So, I was supposed to hang out with a man-friend last night but some dramatic happenings happened that prevented him from making it over. Honestly, I was tired anyway. I’ve been waking up at like 5.30 a.m. every day trying to get stuff done before people bother me. Turns out, people will bother you at any time of the day.

Anyway, when I woke up this morning I realized that it’s been over two weeks since I’ve had sex with another human being.

Two whole weeks.

The two-week mark is when I start to turn. I wilt. I shrivel up. I am not talking about my pussy here. I’m talking about my entire being.

One of two things tends to happen when I don’t have sex with another human being for an extended amount of time.

I become EVEN more irritable that I typically am. I know this is super hard to believe considering how irritable I can be, but trust me. I am a monster. If I’m not getting eaten that you can bet that I will eat your head off instead.

I get stupid horny. I will not even go into the weird things I have done to myself when I go to long without having sex. Some interesting objects have been used. Some interesting and some might suggest, gross, people have also been used.

Sometimes when I’m that super horny and I want to hump everything… I mean everything. I imagine that this is what it must be like for men ALL of the time. And though a lot of times a lot of ya’lls behavior is intolerable and fucked up, I can admit to UNDERSTANDING where you’re going from. It’s like your brain is completely blocked from all thought except getting off. The worst part is when that feeling can’t be satiated.

It’s like, hang me upside down on a clothesline and throw wet noodles on my back so I’ll at least think about something else for a moment. Or maybe I’d be into that in a weird kink way.

Anyhoo. What I’m most disturbed about is the fact that neither 1 or 2 has started to happen. I wonder if it’s because I’m waking up so early in the morning that my body is physically exhausted and my brain completely fried by the time I’d have time to even think about masturbating or sex with someone else. I was actually glad that my friend didn’t make it over because I could not get my sex-brain to turn on.

So, how long has it been for you? A day? 10 years?

How do you “overcome”? Do you even think about it anymore? Or are you thinking about it all the time?

Friday Feels: How to Stop Texting Your Ex

ways to keep from texting your ex

Put Your Phone Down, Hands Up, Step Away From The Device

or

No, Really, You Don’t Have to Text Your Ex Back!

We’ve all been there. Sober or drunk. Phone in hand. Lonely or sad or horny or whatever. We think, “But, what if?”

What if he’s different this time?
What if she really does miss me?
Could we get back together?
Are you saying there’s a chance?

So, we do it. We text the ex. Or the ex texts us.

It’s such a popular phenomenon that there are even Instagram accounts dedicated to this very unfolding.

There’s almost a rebellion against the self, against friends, against everything you know to be right. It’s naughty.

Unfortunately, it’s not naughty in the good way. It’s naughty in the ‘you need to go sit in a corner and think about what you did” type of way.

#sexyisnotasize

Honestly, I have no right to sit here and tell anyone else not to do it. I’ve done it so many times I’m surprised my phone didn’t hold its own rebellion against me and self-destruct.

Perhaps because I’m such a big fuck up in this department I’m the perfect person to suggest finding an alternative. Unless you’re the type that’s even more of a masochist than I am and you enjoy having your heart ripped out over and over again–it’s not a great move.

So, what can you do when the temptation to text your ex arises?

Here are 4 Methods to Keep You From Texting Your Ex

1.

The Block & Loaded

Do you have what it takes to utilize one of the easiest functions on your phone? Personally, I cannot do this. I probably should do this, but alas I am weak. You’ll save yourself a lot of stress if you simply block your ex’s number. Of course, you’ll also need to block your ex on all of your social media channels. Perfect for those with a backbone or for those looking to finally get one.

2.

Change The Name, Change The Name

Nothing says “Do Not Answer” better than “Do Not Answer.” Get in there and edit your ex’s name to something a bit more inspiring.

Here are some options:

POS Dirtbag
Probably Has Syphilis
If You Respond You Will Have 7 Years of Bad Luck
Just Say No
You Are a Strong Independent Individual Who Does Not Deserve This BS
You Can Do Better
She Doesn’t Love You Anymore
Love This Person From Afar
Never Gonna Get It
Liar Liar Pants on Fire
Cheatbag
Poo Poo Face

I mean, this list of possibilities goes on and on. Try it out, it’s fun!

3.

Hide and Seek

Ever heard of a digital detox? Well, now’s your chance to give it a whirl. Whenever you get the urge to interact with your ex and you know you shouldn’t perhaps it’s time to turn your phone off and put it in a drawer for an hour or two. Cool off. Read a book. Here’s a good one. Here’s another. Or you could clean your room. Or write in a journal. Or maybe just go to bed. I promise you will survive for an hour without your phone and you’ll definitely feel better the next day when you did not do the thing that you were almost tempted to do. (If you are out in public you can also hand it over to someone you trust for safekeeping.)

4.

Text Anyone But The Ex

I do this all the time. I’ll text my best friend and be like “I’m thinking about texting him. I have my PHONE in my hand. But hey, I’m texting you instead. Wyd?” Of course, my friends probably think I’m a dick when I do this because they were not my VERY FIRST THOUGHT but I also know that they know I am weak at heart. They understand. They are wonderful people. Remember who the actual wonderful people are in your life and text them. Maybe even call your mom back finally??!

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I know a lot of us are going through this struggle right now. You are strong. You are brave. You are beautiful and smart and funny. If someone broke your heart they don’t deserve you. Of course, if you’re the one doing the breaking, maybe leave that person alone so they can heal the wounds that you’ve caused. That’s really all you can do and should do if you really love them. (Unless of course you REALLY want them back then there’s an entirely different strategy you should employ and it does not involve texting– more on that later. Or you can read this article that gives some fun ideas but isn’t necessarily the BEST advice.)

Tits Out Truth Bombs Tuesday: Nipple Play Explained + Tit Play Tips

ways to play with nipples

What To Do With All These Nipples

or

Thoughts on Tit Play

Via an Instagram follower’s question:

“Nipple play. Some people love it, others get nothing from it, why?”

Here’s the deal, if you think of the human body as a macrocosm for pleasure and pain then the nipple would be like a microcosm. Or the tit is like one piece of the puzzle on the body that inhabits this planet.

That being said, every tit is different and even then tit sensitivity can fluctuate day to day depending on hormone levels, etc. Also, the size and structure of the breast can play a big part.

According to my research, those with smaller size breasts commonly have more sensitivity than those with large breasts. I do not know how true this is, as someone with medium sized-breasts mine are pretty sensitive so if someones are MORE sensitive than mine, good goddess I send my kindest regards and good luck getting through a regular day.

Free delivery on all orders over $60

Anyhoo. For all of these reasons (and I’m sure more), this is why some people love nipple play, other people feel nothing with regards to nipple play, and others can find it excruciating.

So, what is one to do when they stumble upon some new nipples in real life? Nipples attached to a human body, a body with a functioning brain; a brain that somehow is capable of connecting feeling to the physical?

I’d suggest good ole regular communication along with practicing the art of easing in.

There are many things one can do while playing with nipples. Here are some examples:

Flavored Body Kiss Edible Massage Cream for Sensual Massage, Strawberry Smoothie, White Cherry and Orange Creamsicle with Nourishing Coconut Oil, Shea Butter PH Balanced.Boxed for Gifting

  • Playing with vibrations or violet wands

High Frequency Machine Professional Use ULTRA NOVA

This list goes on and on for those with imaginations etc.

How should one approach nipple play?

Talk to your partner. Go slowly.

As you nibble, ask “Is this good. Is this enough? Too much? Want more.”

It’s all about discovering each other’s bodies. Sure, it might seem like a passionate move to go in and chomp on a titty but I’m telling you right now most people aren’t going to like that… at least not straight away. That’s why there’s the easing-in stuff. Sort of like how you’d approach spanking someone. You wouldn’t immediately start slapping their ass as hard as you can, you’d give it some light tapping and then gauge the reaction as you increase the intensity. It’s the same.

Whatever you do with your nipples or someone else’s I hope you have fun!

Comment below on your favorite things to do with nipples OR confess to your own nipple sensitivity levels, mine is HIGH!

Weird Sex Wednesday: Anal Sex 101 and Unboxing Love Honey Anal Kit

lovehoney anal sex toy kit

How to Have Better Anal Sex

Or

A Beginner’s Guide to Anal Sex

 

It’s Anal August and I’m going to talk to you today about getting fucked in the ass. Or fucking in the ass. Or both! Whatever you’re into trying. Haven’t tried anal sex before? Have tried it but are always looking for tips and tricks? Well, you’ve cum to the right place. All month long I’ll be giving out anal sex tips to my readers. Today I’m going to start with the basics.

Here are 4 Things You Can Do to Help You Have Better Anal Sex

  1. Watch Your Diet

You’re probably not going to want to eat a three-pound burrito before you get slammed in your back door. Yes, many people anal douche or even do the whole enema thing, but it’s really not that big of a deal (you can read more about anal douching 101 here). The amount of poo that you may encounter is generally pretty minimal if you eat a balanced diet and go to the bathroom regularly.

anal sex tips
Nom Nom Nom.

2. Want It

If a guy isn’t really into anal then I don’t bother having anal with him. Why? Because that dick needs to be HARD, like super duper hard for it to work well. You’ve got to really want it for that hole to open up and let something inside of it. Of course, you can always use a toy. Watch the video below to see my unbox the Love Honey Bumper Booty Sex Toy Kit and discuss what the different toys are designed to do.

3. Lube It Up
Always. Always. Always. Use lube. If it’s you and a penis or a finger or two use silicone lube. If you’re using (silicone) toys like the ones mentioned above use a thicker water-based lube (or else the silicone lube will break down the material of the toy.

Here are two of my favorite lubes for anal sex:
Pjur Backdoor Silicone Anal Lube
Wicked Sensual Water-Based Anal Lube

4. Breathe

Inhale and then on the exhale allow for insertion. There’s a balance to be found between relaxing enough to let the insertable into the bum and having enough strength to not topple over when said thing enters your rear. It will probably take some practice, but most good things do.

Stay tuned next week for the full review of the Bumper Booty Anal Kit. If you want you can order your kit here and we can have more in-depth discussions about it over the course of the month (or you can just enjoy it without commenting about it to me– it’s your (sex) life)!

how to have anal sex
So much what what for your butt, butt!

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Sexy Sex Temperature Play Using Just An Ice Cube

sex tips to keep it cool in the bedroom

Cool It Down With These Ice Tips

or

3 Ways To Add Temperature Play Into Your Sex Game

As I’m sure you’re quite aware, it’s fucking hot outside. At least here in Denver where the temperature has been in the steady high 90s for days now. Not only is it hot outside, it’s also hot inside for me anyway; we live in a house that has no AC. I currently have two fans blowing on me and I’m still so warm my brain is barely working. Of course, I am blaming the heat on my brain failure when the real reason my brain isn’t working is that I went too hard over the weekend with the drinking etc. Such is life.

Anyway, on to some sex stuff.

If you’re looking for ways to have sexy fun time but also keep your cool, I suggest embarking on some temperature play.

From toys to lube to towels, there are all sorts of things you can do for temperature play, whether you’re looking to heat it up or cool it down.

Since it’s 95 degrees here and everything is fire, here are 3 ways to cool it down in the bedroom with just an ice cube.

1.Ice, Ice Body
Take an ice cube and use it to outline your lover’s body. Pay careful attention to the erogenous zones like the nape of the neck, the nipples, the inside of the wrists, the back of the knee. Try blowing on the ice spots to create new types of sensations on the skin.

2. Cold As Ice Mouth Play

Put the ice cube in your mouth then kiss, suck, lick etc wherever you want on the body; move to the main event — the genitals — take it extra slow to create tension, chills, extremes in hot and cold.

3. The Thin Ice Shuffle
Move the ice cube from the mouth and slowly outline the vulva, insert it gently into the pussy or twirl it around the tip of the penis, move it down the shaft, circle to balls. Make each other gasp, cry out, shake.

Stay Crazy, Sexy, Cool my people.

Comment on your favorite temperature play moves below!

 

Anniversary Collection

 

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