The Reno Footlong Kielbasa Featuring Cooking with Julien

Onion Rings on Your Footlong? If You Insist…

Hot Dog Month continues with featured guest Cooking with Julien. This footlong Kielbasa is inspired by all things Reno, where self-taught chef and entrepreneur Julien now resides. Inspired by both the nondescript onion (native to the state) to the more risqué side of Nevada (and also, let’s face it, native to the state)–legalized prostitution– he has created the Reno Footlong. 

He said of this creation, “The dog is all over the place, because that’s how the people are up here.”  

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’d certainly eat an onion right off a footlong kielbasa. 

Would I pay to do it? Well, I’m not in Nevada, so no. 

But I digress. 

The Reno FootLong Kielbasa Recipe 

What You Need:

  • Kielbasa footlong sausage
  • onion rings (frozen or homemade)
  • onion 
  • tomatoes 
  • jalapeños 
  • relish 
  • mustard 
  • Mayo
  • baguette

What You Do:

  1. Bake or fry your onion rings
  2. Dice your onion and tomatoes
  3. Cook or grill your footlong kielbasa by your preferred method
  4. Lightly toast your baguette (or don’t!)
  5. Spread mayo and mustard on the baguette
  6. Slide the footlong kielbasa into the warm bread
  7. Top with diced onions, tomatoes, relish, and jalapeños
  8. Finish off with onions rings 
  9. Shove in mouth
  10. Enjoy 

Want to check out more of the amazing food coming out of Cooking with Julien’s kitchen? Check out his Instagram here

Get more Phallic Food diet recipes. Including more from Hot Dog Month with special guest, Chubstep’s Chicago Style Phallic Hot Dog with Cumback Sauce.

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Want to listen to my interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits? Find it on the Chubstep Podcast here.

Sweet & Spicy Wrapped Lil Weenies

The perfect phallic food diet holiday appetizer!

The best thing about lil weenies is that you can put a whole bunch of them in your mouth at one time. These lil weenies are packed with protein with just a hint of sweet and spicy. My uncle often makes these for Christmas but he uses candied jalapeños, which are delicious. I decided to try them with carrots since this is Go Eat A Carrot after all. They turned out pretty good. Feel free to use either or neither in your recipe. They also have cheese stuffed lil smokies on the market now and those would be a fun, juicy, cream-squirt option to try if you’re into that.

Remember to keep your lil weenies wrapped this holiday season so you don’t have any baby weenies appear nine months from now. I’d suggest condoms for that, not bacon.

Enjoy these mouthgasms! And Happy Holidays!

Wrapped Lil Weenies Recipe

What You Need:

  • Package of Bacon
  • Package of Little Smokies
  • Baby carrots (cut in half)
  • Honey
  • Cayenne pepper
  • Cooking spray
  • Foil + Baking Sheet

What You Do:

Pre-heat oven to 325 degrees

line baking sheet with foil and spray with cooking spray

cut your bacon into thirds

Take one of your carrot halves and one of your little wieners and wrap up in one piece of cut bacon. Place seam down on baking sheet. Repeat until baking sheet is full of lil wieners. Dab each wiener with a little bit of honey. Then sprinkle with cayenne pepper.

Bake for 40 minutes until bacon is crispy.

Put on your favorite serving plate. Shove in mouth.

Get more from Go Eat a Carrot including Phallic Food Fun facts, cockless-cocktail mocktail recipes, Just the Tip advice, and one-on-one video consulting on my Patreon.

Looking for more easy phallic food diet recipes: Try my Sweet Jizz Glazed Carrots!