Weird Sex Wednesday: Having Sex Fantasies About Religious Leaders

sexy jesus, sexy nuns, sexy priests, sexy monks

Would You Fuck A Hot Nun?

or

What Is It That’s So Sexy About Certain Religious Figures?

Recently a fan follower sent me a sexy shirt (and bra + panties set) off of my Amazon wishlist. When it arrived and I put it on I was suddenly reminded of that scene in Bridget Jones Diary when Bridget shows up at the Tarts and Vicars party and no one else is dressed up like a tart or a vicar. Then she runs into an older woman wearing a frilly shirt like the one I’m wearing and say something like, “Oh I guess you didn’t get the memo either.” To which the woman replies, “Yes, I did!” Then runs off embarrassed.

Anyhoo. The shirt reminded me of that party fail and also it reminded me of another form of weird sex– sex with religious leaders.

Sex with priests. Sex with nuns. Sex with monks. Sex with Jesus. Sex with satan.

Or people dressed up like them.

Once I had a boyfriend who dressed up like a priest. I’m pretty sure that was the night a guy wearing a grape costume gave him some molly and we ended up having this weird threesome (but not with the grape guy, someone else?). Could have been a different Halloween though, who can really remember it all?

I’d definitely have sex with Jesus if given the opportunity. Have you seen those ab muscles, damn? Plus, he’s like God or the son of God or whatever you believe, so I bet he has some orgasmic moves.

I used to have a pretty strong fantasy about having sex with an Amish guy, but I don’t really think that fits in this same category.

Buy the same shirt for you or someone you love:

What do you think is the root of these fantasies? Do you think it’s because it’s just so so wrong? The forbidden fruit of spiritual sexuality.

I mean, how could not want to fuck a priest who looks like this?

sexy priest
Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me. – Priest from Exorcist TV Series

Anyhoo. Let me know in the comments below what your sexual religious fantasies (or perhaps actual actions) are!

(Talk about sinful sex.)

You can Buy your own sexy priest outfit (and have something ready to wear for Halloween) here:

Leg Avenue Priest Adult Men’s Costume

sexy jesus, sexy nuns, sexy priests, sexy monks
Namaste in bed with you?

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Kings and Queens and Lovers of Oral Sex, Unite!

eat more carrots and peaches and tacos

Why Kings Should Eat Pussy

or

Another Reason to Stay Away from Marriage in the Patriarchy

I’ve been thinking about this DJ Khaled situation. The one where he says he won’t perform oral sex on his wife because he’s a King and since he’s the King she still has to blow him.

Seems like most of us have the same opinion about this being bullshit.

It wouldn’t be bullshit if he just didn’t like performing oral sex, but the reason he doesn’t do it is because he thinks that she doesn’t deserve sexual pleasure. At least that is the interpretation. Because he provides for her financially that is seemingly good enough for him. Because he provides financially she is “required” to suck his dick. Hmm?! Interesting.

And people can’t seem to follow the concept that marriage and prostitution share similar traits. Oh sure, one is sanctioned Under God and the other I guess technically Under the Devil but getting paid to be with someone is all basically the same thing, whether you’re getting paid to be with someone for a night or you’re getting paid to be with someone for a life.

Neither is wrong necessarily, but it is what it.

I was in a discussion with Tinder date the other night. He claims that marriage is rooted in spirituality. I claim that marriage is rooted in social and financial status. That is, two people married to unite families in order to make more money and boost power. Perhaps we’re both right in our own ways. Maybe we’re both wrong. Yet, married is NOT rooted in love, of course some people get married because of love but that’s not the only reason for marriage in the history of marriage. The king/queen thing is quite interesting, considering we don’t live in that time period anymore.

If you’re using those words symbolically to mean that you are above other people then you’d know that being above other people actually means that you give pleasure and thoughtfulness and kindness to others– particularly to your lovers (and that you don’t actually think you’re above anyone, but that’s a different story).

  1. I don’t know if I could ever get married.
  2. I don’t know if I could ever get married to someone who hated to eat pussy.
  3. I could be with someone who hated to eat pussy but was cool with other people eating my pussy.
  4. If I did ever get married though I’m pretty sure that person would have to love eating pussy as much as I love oral sex.
  5. Maybe I haven’t gotten married or even had a partner in such a long time because no one seems to be capable of rising to my level of sluttiness.
  6. I know you’re out there though. Kings and Queens of Slutsville hit me up, not necessarily to get married but we could pretend to be royalty together for a night.

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