Hot Dogs in a Pickle

Trade Your Soggy White Buns for This Juicy Tart Alternative

While I was eating these hot dogs in a pickle, the guy who has been upgrading my internet came to the door to check and make sure it was still working. He was like, ‘oh, guess I caught you eating.’ And I was like, ‘I’m always eating so that’s a likely scenario.’ Anyway, I was telling my friend about how weird it was to have a guy walk in your house while you’re shoving a hot dog stuffed into a pickle into your mouth and he said to me, ‘always make eye contact while eating phallic shaped foods in front of other people’ and I really regret not being weirder when I opened the door.

But… I really need the internet to get the word out to all of your about the Phallic Food Diet so I suppose it was a good thing not to creep out my internet guy too much.

Anyhoo. This recipe is so simple I didn’t really know what to talk about. You literally just cut open a pickle and put hot dog in it. I jizzed it up a bit you know, so it would be more like a recipe. Go as simple or as fancy as you please.

I’m all for replacing buns with pickles, but I will say it’s pretty fucking messy when you’re eating–so bring your own bib.

Hot Dogs in a Pickle Recipe

What You Need:

  • ½ Cup Cream Cheese
  • ½ cup white cheddar cheese
  • ½ teaspoon garlic powder
  • ¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • Salt & pepper to taste
  • 4 large whole pickles
  • Mayo, Mustard, sauerkraut, or horseradish to Drizzle

What You Do:

  1. Make Cream Spread. Stir and combine the cream cheese, cheese, and seasonings in a bowl. 
  2. Cook hot dogs based on package direction or your personal preference. 
  3. Slice triangle out of whole pickle to make slot for hotdog (essentially cut a ¼ of it out without cutting in half).
  4. Slather cream cheese mix on pickle.
  5. Slide in the hot dog.
  6. Top with a drizzle or dollop of either mayo, mustard, sauerkraut, or horseradish. 

Enjoy

Are you getting all you can get from the Phallic Food diet? This was the final recipe from HOT DOG MONTH Check out The Reno Footlong Kielbasa Featuring special guest, Cooking with Julien for more where that came from.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Want to listen to my interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits? Find it on the Chubstep Podcast here.

Crescent Wrapped Hot & Spicy Pickles

party pickle ideas

Turn Your Boring Crescent Rolls Into an Addicting Phallic Food Diet Appetizer 

Moist, creamy, irresistible pickle apps that will please a party

I’ve been putting off making these crescent wrapped hot & spicy pickles because I thought there would be no way I could eat all of them by myself. Finally I got invited to a small dinner party and they didn’t last 10 minutes. Everyone loved these, I mean, how can you beat bacon, cheese, pickles, and buttery carbs? Perhaps not the healthiest phallic food diet recipe, but damn, these are so good. If you need a quick and easy appetizer that’s guaranteed to be a crowd-pleaser then this might become your newest go-to! 

If you’re not into spicy pickles you can change out the choice of cheese and the style of pickle you’re using– mozzarella + garlic pickles would be good, dill + cheddar, bread & butter + muenster. Combinations are endless. I love a little spice though, so there you go.  

Crescent Wrapped Hot & Spicy Pickles Recipe

What You Need:

  • 6 ounces of cream cheese
  • 5-6 slices of bacon
  • 1 cup shredded pepper jack or cheese of your choice
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • ½ teaspoon Garlic Powder
  • ½ teaspoon Cumin 
  • Pinch or more of Cayenne Pepper 
  • 1 tube crescent rolls
  • 1 Jar Hot & Spicy Pickles Spears (or flavor of your choice) 
  • 8 pickle spears, halved
  • 1 Egg

What You Do:

  1. Soften your cream cheese

2. Cook and crumble your bacon

3. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

4. Unroll the crescent rolls then cut down the middle of each lengthwise place on baking sheet. 

5. In a bowl, mix the cream cheese, crumbled bacon, shredded cheese, spices, and salt and pepper. 

6. Cut pickles into thirds, or the size of the widest length of the crescent roll. 

7. Scoop the cream cheese filling on each of the crescent rolls, put one piece of pickle on top, roll them all up. 

8. Make egg wash by whisking up an egg, brush each crescent wrap with the egg wash.

9. Bake for about 13-15 minutes until golden brown on top and slightly oozy out the sides.

10. Let cool slightly then put on serving plate.

Enjoy! 

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes check out my Bangers and Smashers recipe (Irish sausage + mashed parsnip and potatoes) here.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

Meat Wrapped Cream Stuffed Pickles

The Easiest Phallic Food Diet Recipe to Come!

Who can resist the flavors of meat, pickles, and cheese all wrapped up into one bite-sized tongue-gasm? Sure, you could eat a pickle by itself, or shove a piece of meat directly down your throat, but if you’re looking to impress yourself, your friends, or lover(s) then why not take one extra step and make these delicious treats? They are a party pleaser, whether that’s a party for one, a Big Game party, or an intimate evening at home binge-watching your favorite show with your romantic interest. 

Meat Wrapped Cream Stuffed Pickles Recipe

What You Need:

  • 12 slices of your favorite meat (I used pastrami)
  • 5 oz blue cheese crumbles
  • 8 oz spreadable cream cheese
  • 12 dill pickle spears

What You Do:

  1. Mix the blue cheese and cream cheese either in a bowl or a food processor 
  2. Place meat slices flat on a work surface, spread with the cream mixture.
  3. Place one pickle about an inch in on the meat, then roll it up. 
  4. You can refrigerate at this point for easier cutting or go ahead and cut into bite size slices. I discovered it was easier to cut both ends first and then work toward center. 
  5. Arrange on platter if serving company or shove directly in mouth if you’re enjoying your own company. These are actually really filling so let me know how many you can eat at once. (My record is 8.) 

Thanks for coming! 

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes check out Go Eat a Carrot Hummus.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

Tickle Your Pickle Hangover Relief Drink

pickles for hangover

Replenish your wrecked body with this pickle-infused powerhouse concoction.

This hangover relief drink with pickles, carrots, ginger, lemon, and lime will help ease some of your most troubling hangover symptoms. Make this the night before you go drink so you can have it on hand in the morning (you will most likely not want to go to all the trouble if you’re feeling like ca-ca).  

Can pickle juice actually cure a hangover?

Controversy abounds as to whether or not pickle juice actually helps a person get over a night of too many cock…tails. Pickles and the juice they swim in contain vital electrolytes such as sodium and potassium; when you drink your body loses electrolytes and thus the theory states that putting them back inside you may in fact help restore balance within. 

Pickles are big part of the phallic diet. They contain probiotics which help with digestion, Vitamin K which helps with your immune system and they are low in calories yet bursting with flavor. Pickles do contain a high amount of salt, so if you’re trying to lower your salt intake or have high blood pressure, you might want to take it easy on the amount of pickles you shove down your throat every day.  

Carrots were actually first grown for medicinal purposes (and they weren’t the orange we see everywhere today). These long, hard, strong, bad boys contain vitamins B6 and K, potassium, and phosphorus– which aid in boosting the immunity and improving brain function. Something you most definitely need after a night of drinking. 

Ginger may be one of the best things you could possibly put in your body. Where your hangover is concerned–ginger helps with nausea and brain function (amongst many other amazing things).  

This recipe was made using a juicer. If you do not have a juicer I have written alternatives so you can still make it. Alright, let’s get to it. 

Tickle Your Pickle Hangover Relief Drink 

What You Need:

If you have juicer: 

8 to 10 carrots 

1 inch of fresh ginger 

1 cup of baby spinach (if using juicer, if not don’t use)

One lemon

One lime 

6 ounces of pickle juice (I used my mom’s homemade spicy pickles)

10 dashes of hot sauce

1 tablespoons Horseradish (optional but highly recommended)

1 teaspoon of worcester sauce 

Black pepper

1 teaspoon of Old Bay + more for garnish and glass rimming

Big carrot + big pickle for garnish

What You Do:

Juice the carrots, ginger, lemon, lime, and baby spinach according to your juicer instructions. 

Dump in pitcher or jar. 

Add pickle juice, hot sauce, horseradish, worcester sauce, black pepper to taste, old bay.

Sit it fridge for one hour to over night. 

Rim Rub Your Glasses

Rub a lemon over the rims of two glasses. Dump some Old Bay on a plate and rim the glasses with the Old Bay.

Put some ice in the glasses and dump juice mixture over ice.

Garnish with big carrot and big pickle. 

Enjoy!

Roll rim of glass in Old Bay for a fancy look + an extra dose of salt
The Tickle Your Pickle Hangover Relief Drink (If You Don’t Have a Juicer) Recipe:

What You Need:

8 ounces carrot juice

The juice of one lemon

The juice of ½ to 1 lime

6 ounces of pickle juice (I used my mom’s homemade spicy pickles)

or ½ teaspoon ginger powder

10 dashes of hot sauce

1 tablespoons Horseradish (optional but highly recommended)

1 teaspoon of worcester sauce 

Black pepper

1 teaspoon of Old Bay + more for garnish and glass rimming

Big carrot + big pickle for garnish

What You Do:

Dump carrot, lemon, lime, and pickle juice into pitcher or jar, add ginger hot sauce, horseradish, worcester sauce, black pepper to taste, old bay.

Sit it fridge for one hour to over night. 

Rim Rub Your Glasses

Rub a lemon over the rims of two glasses. Dump some Old Bay on a plate and rim the glasses with the Old Bay.

Put some ice in the glasses and dump juice mixture over ice.

Garnish with big carrot and big pickle. 

Enjoy!

Yes, I see you over there thinking these thoughts–you can add vodka to this if you want a Hair of the Dog vibe or if you’re like, not hungover but want to be later. Feel free to fill glass half way up and then top with soda water if you’re looking to add some extra hydration. You can also make this if you are not hungover but want some sort of enjoyable healthy juice like recipe.

It’s your life, get your carrot wet however you want. 

Want more Phallic Food Diet Recipes? Check out the Ultimate Holiday Phallic Food Platter, a great addition to any gathering; Super Bowl snacks anyone?

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