The Reno Footlong Kielbasa Featuring Cooking with Julien

Onion Rings on Your Footlong? If You Insist…

Hot Dog Month continues with featured guest Cooking with Julien. This footlong Kielbasa is inspired by all things Reno, where self-taught chef and entrepreneur Julien now resides. Inspired by both the nondescript onion (native to the state) to the more risqué side of Nevada (and also, let’s face it, native to the state)–legalized prostitution– he has created the Reno Footlong. 

He said of this creation, “The dog is all over the place, because that’s how the people are up here.”  

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’d certainly eat an onion right off a footlong kielbasa. 

Would I pay to do it? Well, I’m not in Nevada, so no. 

But I digress. 

The Reno FootLong Kielbasa Recipe 

What You Need:

  • Kielbasa footlong sausage
  • onion rings (frozen or homemade)
  • onion 
  • tomatoes 
  • jalapeños 
  • relish 
  • mustard 
  • Mayo
  • baguette

What You Do:

  1. Bake or fry your onion rings
  2. Dice your onion and tomatoes
  3. Cook or grill your footlong kielbasa by your preferred method
  4. Lightly toast your baguette (or don’t!)
  5. Spread mayo and mustard on the baguette
  6. Slide the footlong kielbasa into the warm bread
  7. Top with diced onions, tomatoes, relish, and jalapeños
  8. Finish off with onions rings 
  9. Shove in mouth
  10. Enjoy 

Want to check out more of the amazing food coming out of Cooking with Julien’s kitchen? Check out his Instagram here

Get more Phallic Food diet recipes. Including more from Hot Dog Month with special guest, Chubstep’s Chicago Style Phallic Hot Dog with Cumback Sauce.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Want to listen to my interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits? Find it on the Chubstep Podcast here.

Chili Cheese Hot Dog Tacos

leftover hot dog recipe idea

Put your hot dog in a new position tonight!

Chili cheese hot dog tacos will take your bland old hot dog to the next level. This is the perfect recipe if you have leftover hot dogs or chili sitting around and are looking for a way to spice things up. These are also great because if you buy everything pre-made like I did they take a whole 5 minutes to make.

Of course, if you want to make everything from scratch that’s up to you but my motto is work smarter, not harder.

As you can see from the pictures, these chili cheese hot dog tacos are not the prettiest to look at, but by golly they’re delicious, surprisingly delicious.

Just another Phallic Food Diet recipe that will leave you begging for more.

Chili Cheese Hot Dog Tacos Recipe

What You Need:

  • Hot Dogs
  • 1 can of chili (or your own homemade chili)
  • White cheddar cheese or Monterrey jack cheese
  • Guacamole (pre-made or homemade)
  • Crushed tortilla chips
  • Greek yogurt or sour cream
  • Hardshell or soft shell tacos

What You Do:

  1. Cook hot dog by package directions or your particular preferred method
  2. Heat up chili 
  3. Heat shells
  4. Start layers with guac on bottom
  5. Followed by the Hot dog, Chili, Cheese, Crushed tortilla chips (optional), Drizzle of plain green yogurt or sour cream (optional)
  6. Shove these crunchy hot dog tacos in mouth
  7. Enjoy

Want more Phallic Food diet recipes? Check out more from hot dog month with special guest, Chubstep’s Chicago Style Phallic Hot Dog with Cumback Sauce.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Want to listen to my interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits? Find it on the Chubstep Podcast here

The Chubstep Chicago-Style Phallic Hot Dog with Cumback Sauce

recipe for chicago-style phallic hotdog

You’ll keep coming back for more of these hot juicy dogs

We’re doing it Chicago Style today, my friends. Thanks to the creative and talented guys from Chubstep Podcast, we’ve got ourselves another amazing phallic hot dog recipe in the books!

If you haven’t taken a listen I’d highly recommend checking them out, they talk about anything and everything– there’s a chance you’ll even laugh… more than once!

They reached out to me MANY months ago as I was the only other person to ever hashtag the phallic food diet. They even interviewed me about it (link at bottom of recipe). And now here we are, several moon cycles later working together on hot dog recipes.

There’s really nothing better on a warm summer day than a nice juicy phallic hot dog and you can’t eat a hot dog without doing it Chicago-style at least once! I asked the Chubstep fellas to help me out with this one since they’re still Windy city living (I haven’t lived in Chicago since 2010).

If you want it done right sometimes you got to call in the experts.

So, here’s Chubstep’s take on the Chicago-style phallic hot dog with a Cumback sauce twist–perfect as I return from my 2+ month hiatus.

The Chubstep Chicago-Style Phallic Hot Dog with Cumback Sauce Recipe

What you Need:

For the Cumback Sauce:

  • 2 Tbsp. Yellow mustard
  • 3 Tbsp. Mayo
  • 1 Tbsp. Ketchup
  • 1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 Tbsp Sriracha
  • 1 tsp. Garlic salt
  • 1 tsp. Black Pepper
  • 1 tsp. Onion powder
  • Juice of Half a Lemon

For the Relish:

  • 1 Tomato
  • 2 green onions
  • 1 Tbsp red wine vinegar
  • 2 tsp. celery salt

For the Doggie Style:
Dill pickles
Sport peppers
Grilled hot dog or Polish sausage
Toasted bun

What You Do:

  1. Make the sauce. Aka mix all ingredients into a bowl.
  2. Make the relish. Chop up the tomatoes and onion toss in another bowl and mix with the vinegar and salt.
  3. Grill your Weiner.
  4. Toast your buns.
  5. Slide Weiner into bun.
  6. Slather with cumback sauce.
  7. Slop on the relish.
  8. Top with pickles and/or sport peppers
  9. Shove in mouth.

The Chicago-style phallic hotdog

The Chicago-style Polish Dog

Follow Chubstep’s other food-inspired Instagram @brogrillofficial for even more delicious ideas!

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including other great party food ideas, check out The Original Phallic Food Hot Dog with Carrot Relish here.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Want to listen to my interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits? Find it on the Chubstep Podcast here

The Original Phallic Hot Dog with Carrot Pickle Relish

go eat a carrot hot dog

Hot Dogs! Get Your Extra Long Phallic Hot Dogs Here!

Nothing says Phallic Food Diet better than the Original Phallic Hot Dog! Toasted bun smothered in mayo, topped with a crunchy carrot pickle relish. You’ll be surprised by how tasty this actually is. So don’t delay, put that extra long, hot juicy wiener shaped piece of meat in your mouth today.

More hot dog recipes to come all month! If you’d like to be featured for your big and tasty hot dog recipe send it on over to me and I’ll see what I can do with it.

The Original Phallic Dog with Carrot Pickle Relish Recipe

What You Need:

  • ½ cup shredded carrots 
  • ½ cup of pre-made pickle relish
  • Handful of pecans
  • 4 Extra long hot dogs
  • 4 Hot dog bun
  • Mayo

What You Do:

  • Make relish
  • Add ½ cup shredded carrots to ½ cut of pre-made pickle relish, throw in nuts if so desired.
  • Cook hot dogs according to package direction of your choice. 
  • Toast hot dog buns (optional)
  • Slather buns with mayo. Throw hot dogs on top of buns, top with the relish. Enjoy.
delicious hot dog recipes

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including other great party food ideas, check out my Crescent Wrapped Hot & Spicy Pickles.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

Shred That Carrot Salad with Chickpeas and Nuts

carrot chickpea salad

In Honor of Go Eat a Carrot’s Anniversary

Well, it’s almost Easter weekend yet again. For those of you who are new, Go Eat a Carrot originally formed right around this time, 3 years ago I believe. Crazy how time flies! The blog has definitely evolved, where it was originally a place for me to express any and all of my thoughts, particularly those thoughts evolving around sexuality and dating, it is now mostly used to showcase my Phallic Food Diet Recipes. 

This shredded carrot salad would make a great addition to any spring-time food gathering festivities you’ve got going on. It’s also one of those interchangeable recipes, feel free to change out the chickpeas, the nuts, the dried cherries, or the herbs with whatever you have on hand that you think would work well. 

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this delicious and healthy carrot salad recipe!

Shred That Carrot Salad with Chickpeas and Nuts Recipe

What You Need:

Dressing

  • 2 tablespoons of Olive oil
  • 2 teaspoon Dijon mustard
  • ½ teaspoon Garlic powder
  • Cayenne pepper
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Juice of ½ lemon
  • Tablespoon of Honey

For Salad:

  • About 5 carrot, shredded (or buy pre-shredded if you so choose) 
  • 1 can of chickpeas, drained
  • ½ cup pecans, rough chop optional
  • ¼ cup sunflower seeds
  • ¼ cup dried cherries
  • A handful of  fresh basil, tore up

What You Do:

Make the dressing– in a small bowl, whisk together all of the dressing ingredients. 

Make salad– in a medium-sized bowl (preferably one with a lid that you can put in the fridge), throw in the salad ingredients, stir it up a little bit, then toss the dressing over the top and stir some more until all is fully covered. Refrigerate until ready to eat. Can probably make a few hours or even a day ahead, though you can also just eat it right away if you so choose.

Enjoy!

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including other great party food ideas, check out my Crescent Wrapped Hot & Spicy Pickles.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Titson the Chubstep Podcast here

Crescent Wrapped Hot & Spicy Pickles

party pickle ideas

Turn Your Boring Crescent Rolls Into an Addicting Phallic Food Diet Appetizer 

Moist, creamy, irresistible pickle apps that will please a party

I’ve been putting off making these crescent wrapped hot & spicy pickles because I thought there would be no way I could eat all of them by myself. Finally I got invited to a small dinner party and they didn’t last 10 minutes. Everyone loved these, I mean, how can you beat bacon, cheese, pickles, and buttery carbs? Perhaps not the healthiest phallic food diet recipe, but damn, these are so good. If you need a quick and easy appetizer that’s guaranteed to be a crowd-pleaser then this might become your newest go-to! 

If you’re not into spicy pickles you can change out the choice of cheese and the style of pickle you’re using– mozzarella + garlic pickles would be good, dill + cheddar, bread & butter + muenster. Combinations are endless. I love a little spice though, so there you go.  

Crescent Wrapped Hot & Spicy Pickles Recipe

What You Need:

  • 6 ounces of cream cheese
  • 5-6 slices of bacon
  • 1 cup shredded pepper jack or cheese of your choice
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • ½ teaspoon Garlic Powder
  • ½ teaspoon Cumin 
  • Pinch or more of Cayenne Pepper 
  • 1 tube crescent rolls
  • 1 Jar Hot & Spicy Pickles Spears (or flavor of your choice) 
  • 8 pickle spears, halved
  • 1 Egg

What You Do:

  1. Soften your cream cheese

2. Cook and crumble your bacon

3. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

4. Unroll the crescent rolls then cut down the middle of each lengthwise place on baking sheet. 

5. In a bowl, mix the cream cheese, crumbled bacon, shredded cheese, spices, and salt and pepper. 

6. Cut pickles into thirds, or the size of the widest length of the crescent roll. 

7. Scoop the cream cheese filling on each of the crescent rolls, put one piece of pickle on top, roll them all up. 

8. Make egg wash by whisking up an egg, brush each crescent wrap with the egg wash.

9. Bake for about 13-15 minutes until golden brown on top and slightly oozy out the sides.

10. Let cool slightly then put on serving plate.

Enjoy! 

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes check out my Bangers and Smashers recipe (Irish sausage + mashed parsnip and potatoes) here.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

St. Patrick’s Big Banana Mint Shake

healthy shamrock shape

A tribute to the Shamrock Shake with a phallic twist

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m a big fan of the Shamrock shake. I am not however, a big fan of the establishment in which you procure such a delicacy. Thus, I have attempted this adaptation. In honor of St. Patrick’s day, I’ve put together a healthier phallic-food centered recipe (aka a frozen banana) to try. I’m drinking this big banana mint shake right now actually, and it’s mostly good. Feel like it could use something though (probably ice cream haha) so, give it a whirl, and if you come up with an adjustment that makes it tastes EVEN better, let me know. I’ll give you a shout-out and hook you up with a digital copy of the book whenever I get it put together. 

Cheers and hope you enjoy your Irish heritage celebration wherever you happen to be! 

St. Patrick’s Big Banana Mint Shake

What You Need:

  • 1 overripe large frozen banana
  • 1/4 tsp pure peppermint extract 
  • 1 cup milk of choice
  • 1/4 cup frozen spinach
  • pink of salt
  • chocolate chips, as desired

What You Do:

Take all the ingredients, throw them into a blender, and blend until completely smooth. If you’d like, you can wait to put the chocolate chips in until the end or not at all. Also, feel free to use green food coloring instead of spinach if you’d like the less healthy version. Pour into glass, top with more chocolate chips if so desired and enjoy.

Thanks for coming!

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including even more Irish Heritage fun check out my Bangers and Smashers recipe (Irish sausage + mashed parsnip and potatoes) here.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Titson the Chubstep Podcast here

Banana Pancakes with Blue Balls and Nuts

pancakes made with bananas

A slightly healthier pancake option 

I had heard about pancakes made with bananas before but something about it always seemed kind of gross to me. Probably because it took me 33 years to be able to eat bananas at all. The thought of bananas smoothed out and then cooked wasn’t that appealing. BUT, I decided to give banana pancakes a whirl and I was pleasantly surprised. They have all the classic pancake traits, fluffy, moist, sweet, but with just a slight banana flavor. I think the blueberries, pecans, and syrup really help to layer on the flavor and texture. 

If you have extra bananas sitting around on the verge of turning, this is a great way to use them. Quick and simple and they don’t even use flour, so you gluten-free freaks may rejoice!

The blueberries and nuts are optional and you can substitute any other topping or none at all if you so desire. You can also double or triple the batch if you have more people to feed. This recipe is ideal for two people (or two meals) or if you’re cooking a whole breakfast spread, these make a nice addition. 

Your mouth deserves this banana pancake delight. 

Banana Pancakes with Blue Balls and Nuts Recipe

What You Need:

  • 1 cup rolled oats 
  • 2 medium bananas,  peeled
  • ¼ cup milk of choice 
  • 1 tablespoon of honey
  • A pinch salt
  • A handful of blueberries
  • A handful of pecans 

What You Do:

  • Heat a well-greased large skillet or griddle to medium high. 
  • Put the oats, bananas, milk, honey and salt in a blender and blend up smoothish. 
  • Pour batter with ladle into small rounds onto the greased skillet. 
  • Drop a couple of pecans and/or blueberries on top. 
  • The pancakes will start creating air pocket bubbles to help you know they are cooked on the bottom. The spatula should easily slide under the pancake when ready to flip (around 2 minutes)
  • Once flipped over, cook an additional minute. (This recipe makes about 8 small pancakes.)  
  • I topped mine with a sugar-free pecan syrup and more blueberries and pecans. Obviously do it your way.  

Enjoy!

I hope you loved BANANA MONTH!  For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including even more Banana Fun check out my Basic Bitch Banana Bread with a Phallic Diet Twist here.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

Frozen Chocolate Covered Bananas with Nuts

frozen bananas

They’re hard. They’re Chocolate. They’re nutty. 

It’s BANANA Month! 

Oh, yeah, because this shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Now that I have that song stuck in your head, I shall continue. I hated bananas until the age of 34. So, the banana boat is something I’m just now hopping onto. I still don’t really care for banana-flavored stuff but I do not think I’m alone here. 

Anyway, these frozen chocolate covered bananas are a perfect treat for yourself or your lover or both and easy enough to make that you’ll look like a real champ if you are looking for a fun and delicious way to celebrate the holiday of love aka Valentine’s Day. Or you just want a moderately healthy dessert to shove in your mouth. Before your bananas turn to mush turn them into this sweet treat and have them on hand anytime you’re in the mood for hard, chocolatey nuts on your tongue. 

Frozen Chocolate Covered Bananas with Nuts

What You Need:

  • 2 Bananas cut in half
  • 4 Popsicle sticks
  • ½ a bag of chocolate chips
  • Nuts of your choice (I used pecans and peanuts)

What You Do:

1.

On baking sheet with a piece of wax paper on top, put popsicle sticks up each banana

Let freeze for like 15-30 minutes

2. 

Once bananas have gotten hard, melt the chocolate–a microwave works best but a double-broiler works too (I have neither so it made this much more challenging)

3.

Dump some nuts on a plate. Dip, cover, coat each bananas in chocolate and then roll each banana in the nuts. Place back on wax paper.

4.

Freeze for like 30 more minutes than shove in mouth. Or store in ziplock bag until ready to eat. 

Thanks for coming! 

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes check out Go Eat a Carrot Hummus.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

Meat Wrapped Cream Stuffed Pickles

The Easiest Phallic Food Diet Recipe to Come!

Who can resist the flavors of meat, pickles, and cheese all wrapped up into one bite-sized tongue-gasm? Sure, you could eat a pickle by itself, or shove a piece of meat directly down your throat, but if you’re looking to impress yourself, your friends, or lover(s) then why not take one extra step and make these delicious treats? They are a party pleaser, whether that’s a party for one, a Big Game party, or an intimate evening at home binge-watching your favorite show with your romantic interest. 

Meat Wrapped Cream Stuffed Pickles Recipe

What You Need:

  • 12 slices of your favorite meat (I used pastrami)
  • 5 oz blue cheese crumbles
  • 8 oz spreadable cream cheese
  • 12 dill pickle spears

What You Do:

  1. Mix the blue cheese and cream cheese either in a bowl or a food processor 
  2. Place meat slices flat on a work surface, spread with the cream mixture.
  3. Place one pickle about an inch in on the meat, then roll it up. 
  4. You can refrigerate at this point for easier cutting or go ahead and cut into bite size slices. I discovered it was easier to cut both ends first and then work toward center. 
  5. Arrange on platter if serving company or shove directly in mouth if you’re enjoying your own company. These are actually really filling so let me know how many you can eat at once. (My record is 8.) 

Thanks for coming! 

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes check out Go Eat a Carrot Hummus.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here