Frozen Chocolate Covered Bananas with Nuts

frozen bananas

They’re hard. They’re Chocolate. They’re nutty. 

It’s BANANA Month! 

Oh, yeah, because this shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Now that I have that song stuck in your head, I shall continue. I hated bananas until the age of 34. So, the banana boat is something I’m just now hopping onto. I still don’t really care for banana-flavored stuff but I do not think I’m alone here. 

Anyway, these frozen chocolate covered bananas are a perfect treat for yourself or your lover or both and easy enough to make that you’ll look like a real champ if you are looking for a fun and delicious way to celebrate the holiday of love aka Valentine’s Day. Or you just want a moderately healthy dessert to shove in your mouth. Before your bananas turn to mush turn them into this sweet treat and have them on hand anytime you’re in the mood for hard, chocolatey nuts on your tongue. 

Frozen Chocolate Covered Bananas with Nuts

What You Need:

  • 2 Bananas cut in half
  • 4 Popsicle sticks
  • ½ a bag of chocolate chips
  • Nuts of your choice (I used pecans and peanuts)

What You Do:

1.

On baking sheet with a piece of wax paper on top, put popsicle sticks up each banana

Let freeze for like 15-30 minutes

2. 

Once bananas have gotten hard, melt the chocolate–a microwave works best but a double-broiler works too (I have neither so it made this much more challenging)

3.

Dump some nuts on a plate. Dip, cover, coat each bananas in chocolate and then roll each banana in the nuts. Place back on wax paper.

4.

Freeze for like 30 more minutes than shove in mouth. Or store in ziplock bag until ready to eat. 

Thanks for coming! 

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes check out Go Eat a Carrot Hummus.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

Go Eat a Carrot Hummus

go eat a carrot hummus

Stick your Pretzel in this Nutritious Dip

Yum! Carrot Hummus. As I continue to create the Phallic Diet Cookbook the more interesting facts I find out the foods that I typically feature. For instance, the carrot. Turns out that cooked carrots are actually more nutritious than raw carrots. 

According to a 2008 study in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry boiling carrots until tender boosts the concentration of carotenoids by 14 percent. Carotenoids convert into Vitamin A, which not only helps our eye health (one that most of us already knew carrots helped with) but also improves and regenerates damaged collagen in our skin, and boosts our immune system. 

Why all this information?! Well, to justify why I cooked the carrots in this hummus recipe. Sure, it’s an extra step but isn’t it worth that 14% increase in nutrition? Plus, it makes it easier to get blended up.

Feel free to adjust the spices according to your own flavor profile and/or add whatever toppings you enjoy. I like to add spicy stuff to my dips so I blended up some chipotle + adobo sauce but that is kind of a pain in the ass, so sriracha works just as well.

Add nuts for some crunch and you got yourself a tasty (and pretty healthy) little snack. Would also be a hit at covid-friendly social distancing gathering, like a Big Game party, if you’re into that kind of thing. 

Go Eat a Carrot Hummus

What you Need:

Tools:

  • Blender
  • Saucepan
  • Stirring spoon 
  • Serving bowl

Consumables:

  • 2 tablespoons olive oil 
  • ½ pound carrots, chopped
  • Big pinch of kosher salt 
  • freshly ground pepper
  • 1 teaspoon cumin
  • 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
  • ½ teaspoon of cayenne
  • 1 15-ounce can chickpeas, drained
  • 4 garlic cloves, finely grated
  • ½ cup of water
  • ¼ cup natural smooth peanut butter

Optional Toppings:

  • Honey
  • Sriracha
  • Roasted peanuts
  • Olive Oil 

(One or some or all, depending on your personal desires)

+  Whatever you want to dip into this hummus. 

What You Do:

Heat 2 Tbsp. oil in a medium saucepan over medium. 

Add carrots, season with salt and pepper, and cook, stirring occasionally, until carrots are tender, 6–8 minutes. 

Add chickpeas and remaining spices; cook, stirring occasionally, until carrots are completely tender, about 5 minutes. 

Let cool slightly.

Transfer carrot mixture to a blender and add garlic, carrot juice, peanut butter, lemon juice, and 4 Tbsp. oil; blend until smooth. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Add toppings of your choice right before serving. 

You can eat it right away or let chill for a couple of hours and/or days.  

Great with pretzels or pita chips. 

Yum. 

Thanks for coming! For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes check out my Don’t Be a Dick Charred Eggplant Soup.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here. 

Put Some Nuts in Your Mouth Pecan Pesto

This Pecan Pesto Packs a Punch for Your Mouth

Yum yum give me some. This nutty pecan pesto is simple to make and can be put on or in whatever your heart (and stomach) wants. 

I chose to use pecans in this pesto because they have a robust full flavor. I also picked them, literally. My grandma has a pecan tree and last year she had so many blowing off the limbs we barely could collect them all. This year there were zero–I guess they do that sometimes? I am no pecan expert.

I did just move to a house that has one in the yard too but also– no nuts this year. I am hoping for lots of nuts next season though.

Of course, if you do not have pecans you can sub any other nut of choice. Same with the herb. I used parsley because it was in my fridge, but basil would also work nicely. I have even seem someone use the greens of a carrot. So, if you do that let me know how it turns out!

Put Some Nuts in Your Mouth Pecan Pesto Recipe

Serves 1 cup

Prep Time: 5 mins

Total Time: 5 mins

What You Need:

  • 1/2 cup pecans
  • 2 tablespoons lemon juice (or juice of half of a lemon)
  • 3 garlic cloves
  • 1 jalapeno (stem and seeds removed) (optional) 
  • Big pinch of sea salt
  • Medium pinch of red pepper flakes 
  • freshly ground black pepper to taste
  • 2 cups parsley leaves
  • 1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese (sub nutritional yeast if dairy-free)
  • 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil, more for a smoother pesto

What You Do

  1. In a food processor, chop up those nuts. 
  2. Add the garlic. Chop chop. 
  3. Dump in the lemon juice, salt, pepper, and pulse a bit more. 
  4. Add the parsley, keep it pulsing until combined.
  5. While your food processor is still a humming, drizzle in the olive oil until combined. 
  6. Add the parmesan cheese, if using, and pulse to briefly combine. 
  7. For a nut-filled pesto, use less olive oil. For a smoother pesto add more olive oil. 

Add pesto to your favorite pasta, top on soup (check out my Nut and Cream Topped Carrot Ginger Soup) or toast, or do whatever you like doing with it. 

Follow me on Patreon for Phallic Food Fun Facts and Cock-less Cocktail recipes (aka mocktails).

Nut and Cream Topped Carrot Ginger Soup

The first recipe for the Phallic Food Diet Cookbook is a delicious and easy to make carrot ginger soup.

I refuse to be one of those people who write a novel before the recipe. I really do not care how much it helps the SEO. You deserve better than that.

So, here is the carrot ginger soup recipe:

Nut and Cream Topped Carrot Ginger Soup 

Prep Time: 15 mins

Cook Time: 30 mins

Total Time: 45 mins

Serves 3 to 4

What You Need

  • 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
  • 1 cup chopped yellow onions
  • 5-6 garlic cloves, smashed
  • 3 heaping cups chopped carrots
  • 1+ tablespoon grated (or chopped fine) fresh ginger (adjust according to taste)
  • 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
  • Pinch of nutmeg (optional)
  • Pinch of cayenne pepper (optional) 
  •  4 cups vegetable broth
  • Sea salt and fresh black pepper

For the Nut & Cream Finish (Optional)

  • Plain greek yogurt (or non-dairy if vegan)
  • Put Some Nuts in Your Mouth Pecan Pesto (recipe to come next week) 

What You Do

  1. Get out a large pot. Put it on the stove. Add olive oil to the pot. Turn the heat up to medium. 
  2. Add the onions and a generous pinch of salt and pepper. Cook until softened, stirring occasionally, about 5 minutes. 
  3. Add the smashed garlic cloves and chopped carrots to the pot and cook about 8 minutes more, stirring occasionally.
  4. Toss in the ginger, apple cider vinegar, the vegetable broth (and nutmeg, cayenne pepper if using). Reduce to a simmer and cook until the carrots turn from hard to soft, about 30 minutes. (Perfect time to make that Pesto if using)
  5. Let cool slightly.
  6. Transfer to a blender. Blend until smooth. (It certainly may not go super smoothly if it all doesn’t fit in blender at once, but it is worth the mess or the potential investment in an immersion blender.) 
  7. Once blended you can re-adjust the seasonings to your taste.

Finally, the fun part! 

Pour the carrot ginger soup into a bowl. Take a spoonful of greek yogurt and wap it on top of the soup. Top the creamy yogurt with the Put Some Nuts in Your Mouth Pecan Pesto. Eat. Enjoy. Yum. 

Want to learn a fun fact about the carrot? Check out this Go Eat a Carrot Patreon video.

Want to further your reading? Check out Do We Really Want to Go Back to Normal? Thoughts on the pandemic.

Or after you eat your carrots perhaps you will be filling lusty, if that is the case, have you experimented with any new toys lately? Love Honey has Sexy Advet Calendars now. That will give you something to do (toys) or wear (lingerie) like every day for many days to come. Click on image below to discover more!

Thanks for coming.