Masturbation Monday: What Are Pervertables?

DIY pervertables sex toys

DIY Kink Toys

You’ll Never Look At Household Objects the Same Way Ever Again

or

They Did What With What?!

It’s yet another Masturbation Monday. Do you feel it? Today I’m talking about one of my favorite topics, pervertables.

A pervertable is any household object that you turn into a sex toy/kink device.

The first time I discovered there was an actual name for doing these things to household objects I was 24, living in Chicago. I went to the Leather Archives & Museum, which happened to only be a few blocks from my apartment located in Roger’s Park. In the basement of the Leather Archives & Museum, they had an entire room full of kitchen utensils, clothes pins, brooms etc. At first, I was confused, why was there a lime juicer in a Leather Museum? Then I read the sign, “These are all Pervertables.”

I was like, holy shit! I never would have thought to put a lime juicer up my va-jay-jay, but someone else surely has and definitely liked it. Or maybe they used the lime juicer to squeeze some balls. The thing about pervertables that I love so much is that they give people the opportunity to use their imaginations.

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A paddle is a paddle, sure. But you know what else can be a paddle? Pretty much anything you look at– a book, a spatula, a hairbrush. The world is open. The world is ready. All you have to do is look around.

One minor note on pervertables. Just like with other sex toys etc. do not put anything up your butt that does not have a base. I repeat DO NOT put anything UP YOUR BUTT that does not have a base. When I say base I am talking about a wide round plug-like surface that will prevent the item from being sucked up violently by your butthole never to be seen by the light of day again.

Once when I was working at Fascinations a guy came in and told me how he had gotten these battery-operated bullet eggs lodged up his ass. He could not get them out for three days. On the third day, instead of going to the ER as one should, he used chopsticks to fish them out of his ass. CHOPSTICKS! Here’s something else important that I need to say. DO NOT USE CHOPSTICKS TO DIG OUT LOST PERVERTABLES OR TOYS FROM YOUR ASS.

Do enjoy your time with all your new toys though. Cheers and happy perverting!

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Thirsty Thursday: How to Make the Good Vibes Razzzberry Nippler Cocktail

summer cocktail how to recipe and video

Happy Thirsty Thursday Summer Solstice Edition

or

Enjoy The Razzzberry Nippler Through Your Hottest Days

Watch the video for the How-To and to see me use interesting devices to muddle and “stir.”

Happy summer solstice! Today I created a drink you can keep drinking through the longest hottest days of the year. It’s crisp, light, and of course, refreshing.

This drink is dedicated to one of my favorite followers, who recently sent me a Hitachi that changed my entire world (and vibrated me into what could only be described as happiness). Watch to the near end of the video to see the Hitachi in motion.

Here’s the other thing. If you watch this how-to summer cocktail recipe video you’ll see that I use not one but two sex toys to assist in this concocktion. I believe that if you can make a pervertable from kitchen utensils you can reverse that and make sex toys into food & drink helpers as well.

Anyhoo. Here’s the How-To on the Razzzberry Nippler Summer Cocktail.

Razzzberry Nippler Ingredients:

4-6 raspberries
5ish leaves of mint
A dollop of ginger (from the pre-chopped container or like a ¼ an inch peeled and chopped fresh ginger)
The juice of ½ to 1 lime
2 shots tequila
Club soda
Ice

Cocktail Instructions:
Put raspberries, mint ginger, and lime in glass. Muddle with your favorite muddler. I like to use glass dildos but if you’re basic use a basic muddler. Add tequila.* Add ice. Top with club soda. Garnish with lime slice and raspberries.

*Can substitute with rum or whatever. Also… You might want to strain the seeds at this point. That’s all personal preference.

Cheers and happy drinking you thirsty fuckers!

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo

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Make your carrot vibrate!