Tits Out Truth Bombs Tuesday: Navigating Through A World That Hates Sex


I Don’t Know What The Fuck I’m Doing

or

How I Violate Community Guidelines Every Day of My Life

As many of you have probably noticed I’ve taken a bit of a breather from the blog. There were multiple reasons for this such as holiday travel / family gatherings, falling in a deep dark well of depression, and getting in trouble yet again on yet another online social platform.

I was left feeling rather stuck. Rather annoyed. I began questioning everything I’ve been doing the last nine months. Like, why am I continuing to talk about sex when every time I do I find myself getting spanked quite unpleasantly by a bunch of puritanical freedom-of-speech haters?

So far I’ve gotten warnings, strikes, deletions etc. from Instagram (complete deletion), Tinder (flagged and removed photo), Patreon (forced deletion of content), Mailchimp (deletion of account), and YouTube (two strikes). I’ll tell you, it’s getting old.

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I’m talking about this not to necessarily whine about my predicaments (or preDICKaments haha) but to point out that this is not just a violation of my freedom of speech, but of everyone else’s freedom to learn, explore, discover. Sexuality shouldn’t be shamed. We should be able to express it without the fear of being removed from a platform. It’s not my fault or your fault that the creators of these platforms can’t differentiate between pornography and sexual expression / education.

I don’t even know where to begin on the issues I’ve had regarding the promotion of sex toys. I guess adults aren’t allowed to play?

But to be completely honest, yes this has been frustrating but more than that, I’ve gotten bored.

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Who knew that sex could become so boring?

Well, now I know when it becomes a chore to talk about it, take sexy pics on the regular, always be researching it, etc. doing it because I have to test something or try something to discuss it later, that’s when it becomes boring. At times it feels like way too much surface and not enough depth. Yes, I have nice tits, but that’s not necessarily interesting. It’s just how my body grew into itself.   

Thus I’ve been struggling with what I want to do with this blog. Initially it was designed as a way for me to release the truth of what I know (which isn’t much tbh) into the world. Much of what I know is about sexuality because that’s what my background education is in, but that’s not really getting to the truth of much.

So, this next year, I’m going to go back to my original intent. I’ll still talk about sex, dating, relationships etc. but I’ll be throwing in other random topics as well because I want to entertain myself. Yes, I love having readers. I love having your support. But, if I veer away from the root of who I am it will all become vapid and get lost in internet space.


You can play if you want to… Tantus G-Spot or P-Spot Dildos. Click on Image to explore further.

Side note, I’m still working through the issues with Patreon, but I hope to have some new posts up soon, perhaps today and definitely the usually Freaky Fan Friday video and erotica readings.

If you want to show your support without supporting Patreon feel free to email me to discuss the best ways to tip.

Thank you all for your patience as I renew and refresh this blog and all my other social media pages. May your pleasure always come first.

Just saying the same stuff but out loud. . .


Friday Feels: My Sweet Sweet Revenge

ways to revenge your ex

Because Sometimes Getting Back is the Only Way to Go Forward

or

Yes, It Does Taste Sweet Indeed

I’ve always been a big fan of revenge. I know a lot of people believe in the art of letting things go, forgiving, moving on, but fuck that. Revenge is way more fun. Of course, I could seek revenge Game of Thrones style, incorporate a bit of poison into some wine or just blow up my entire city, but that may be a bit extreme considering the person who wronged me isn’t really work going to prison over.

I came up with a list of things I’m going to do instead as my way of saying “fuck you, buddy.” I think it’s pretty well-rounded. Feel free to take a look for yourselves below.

Happy Rabbit

7 Ways I’m Getting Revenge

1.
Finally Finish Writing My Book

It’s been a long time coming; I’ve worked on this book for over a year. I finished the first draft months ago but couldn’t get myself to go back and edit it. Now, I have a second wind and angry wind thus it’s second draft time. Get ready world it’s going to be a good one.

2.
Continue Growing My Website and Patreon
Nothing says revenge like sweet sweet success. So, I’m buckling down and getting to it harder than ever before (perhaps you’ll be getting harder than ever before too…).
3.
Grow My Big Thick Ass
Something about having a big thick ass that none of my exes can ever touch again makes me feel accomplished. Sure, I grew it myself, but it does take work to continue said growth and to keep it looking round and plump and oh so irresistible.

4.
Leave the House Hot Hot Hot
It’s Denver and it’s pretty impossible to go anywhere without running into someone. There’s a pretty high percentage that that someone could be someone I’ve fucked before, maybe even the guy I most recently fucked. So, when I leave my house I want to make sure my big thick ass is looking as fine as hell.

5.

Post Instagram Pics That Will Devastate Him
Sure, it’s petty but baby doesn’t care. Baby wants the even bigger baby to cry.

6.

Cackle
This bitch loves a good cackle.

7.
Date Someone Better
This shouldn’t be too hard considering.

So there you have it. That’s my whole list. If you think there’s anything I should add feel free to leave your suggestions int he comments below.

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Hard Wood Wednesday: Sliding Into My DMs

frequently asked questions answered

Answering Your Most Pressing Direct Messages

or

I’m Never Gonna Reply Back Directly So Here Ya Go, Some FAQs

Every day I have many people send me direct messages on Instagram. I do not follow these people so they go into this separate folder. This folder is full of entertainment, annoyances, quite graphic sexual/erotic descriptions usually of things dudes would like to do to me.

Don’t get me wrong. I love interacting with people on the internet. I wouldn’t be on social media if I hated to be social and use media to voice my thoughts. I’ve had hundreds of amazing conversations with interesting people, but I thought I’d cover some of the generic ones sent my way.

I’m doing this in case you are a person who is considering sending me a message. It’s sort of like some FAQs here for you so you don’t have to waste your time or mine. Cool. Here we go.

On Nudes, Videos, Snaps, etc.

IG_message2

Do I make custom videos?

No.

I made exclusive videos for my patrons on Patreon. I typically try to upload 1-3 new videos a week including a Freaky Fan Friday video every Friday that Patrons who join for just $1 a month can watch. So you can gain exclusive access for very little investment on your end and actually quite a bit more on mine.

IG_message9

Can you have a visible look? 

Yes. You can have a visible look at my tits if you become a Patron on Patreon. You cannot have a visible look at my tits on Instagram or Youtube because they will delete it and give me a strike.

Why do they do this? Because this is a puritanical culture that likes to hate women’s bodies at the same time it also likes to objectify and obsess about women’s bodies. I don’t know. Also, something to do with children learning about naked bodies and sexuality before they’re capable of understanding because children have never been naked before etc. etc.

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Do I got patreon?!

YES!!! I do got patreon. You can find me HERE!!!  (No I do not Snap.)

Motorhead - the Official Pleasure Collection

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Can I only see a photo here of your nice body nude?

No. You cannot see a photo here of my nice body nude. It’s an unfortunate sad sob story that your girlfriend had to leave you today, but I am not the type of girl who feels sorry for dudes going through a breakup. If you want to see my nude body you can become a patron just like everyone else.

On Modeling

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“I am a photographer. Would you like to do a modeling photo shoot?”

The last time I was asked to model it was for a long-boarding company. I had never been on a longboard before. I figured it out pretty quickly, then I got cocky. My big head that inflated because I was asked to model knocked me off balance. I fell off on top of a hill right into a giant puddle and my knee pretzeled into me moving into an advanced yoga move that I wasn’t ready for. I ended up in Urgent Care and couldn’t really walk on it for three months. Then I got fat because I was depressed and found solace in drinking an excessive amount of beer.

So, I’m not sure “modeling in a photo shoot” is the right path for me (willing to discuss for the right price and only if I can stay on solid land).

On Dick Pics

IG_message7

“Hey baby u want a dick pic” 

Do I want a dick pic? What I question! It’s almost as if you think I’ve never in my life seen a dick before and will somehow be amazed and astounded by this random one that I can do absolutely nothing with but look at. Please for the love of the goddesses above DO NOT SEND ME A PIC OF YOUR DICK. For one thing, Instagram blocks those images so I luckily never have to actually see them. For another, just, no. Your carrot does not make me hungry. Your eggplant is more like a breakfast sausage link. Your popsicle does not make me melt.

If you want me to look at your dick then you can order a TINY DICK STORY from me. This is where you pay me to write a poem or flash fiction story about your dick. This is the ONLY WAY I will EVER be willing to look at your dick pic. You can find out more information about the TINY DICK STORY on my Carrot Consulting page.

On Erotic Descriptions of Sexual Things You Want to Do To Me

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Put these stories in comments on my actual Instagram posts so everyone else can read them too because we all deserve a little more erotica in our lives. Plus when you send it directly to me it’s creepy, but when you share it in public other people can learn new ways to describe tits and discover different things to do with their tongues etc.

On My Day

IG_message8

Did I get your text earlier?

Well, no sir, I did not get your text earlier because you do not have my phone number, nor will you ever.

How’s the day going?

Why thank you for asking. My day is going alright. I haven’t been up that long at the time of this writing. Yesterday I was irritable and discouraged, but today is a new day. Of course, I went for a run and everyone outside of this house was out and about and getting on my nerves but that’s over now. This crazy blood moon lunar eclipse is happening this Friday (7/27) and it’s supposed to really turn things around, whichever way you want it to go. I’m ready. Are you?

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