Just Because I’m Sex Positive Does Not Mean I Want to Have Sex With You

What is sex positivity?

Sex Positive and the Dudes Who Need it Most

The other day I was asked a rather rude question.

It is not uncommon I suppose, when you talk about sex and sexuality, it gets people riled up. 

Suddenly they think they can be crass because that is their view of sex. They think they can be dirty because they think sex is dirty. They can be off-putting and rude and awkward because they have never been given the tools to fully grasp who they are wholly (and that includes their own sexuality). 

And, so, I suppose I can’t take that much offense when someone who isn’t emotionally developed asks me a rude question. I can only hope for the best. The best being that they recognize they are being a dick and work on ways to be less of a dick in the future.

Anyhoo. Sexuality is a pretty big element in most people’s lives– even people who abstain– as many have to actively NOT do it etc. Sex is how we all got here (in case you missed that day in Health class). Good ole sperm and egg. 

Sex and Sexual Health

Sexual health makes up one of the many areas of general overall health–other areas include physical health, social health, financial health, emotional health, etc. 

Yet, sexuality comes with a whole host of issues that many of the others do not, for example, many people experience a lot of shame, confusion, mis-information, avoidance, religious propaganda etc. when it comes to sexuality. 

Sex positivity works to help overcome all of that. It’s about positive sexual health, empowered sexuality, sex without shame, sex with respect, consent, boundaries, desires, pleasures, etc. 

One of the issues I run into is that many men think that because I talk about sex I must WANT it ALL of the time and FROM ANYONE. 

In fact, that was what the rude question was all about. A person, who I politely declined a proposition from many many months ago, had the nerve to ask me if I were a [nympho] 

(in brackets because of course he didn’t spell it correctly). 

To be clear, a person can be sex positive and not want to engage in sexual activity with everyone they meet. 

A person can also be sex positive and WANT to engage in sexuality activity with everyone they meet. 

What Does it Mean to Be Sex Positive?

Being sex positive means that you accept and respect your own sexuality and everyone elses around you with openness, honesty, consent, communication, etc. 

To do this we may have to unlearn many of the ideas and concepts that we grew up with; we may have to explore new ideas, ask questions, be curious about what could be instead of making assumptions about where we are or who other people are etc. We also have to learn how to ask better questions, how to be respectful and tactful when we talk about sexuality with those around us. 

Anyhoo. Personally, I have explored many many options and am currently in the process of learning more about myself while being open to a meaningful long-term relationship with someone who actually wants more from me than just SEX. I know, hard to believe, but it’s true. 

Yes, I can still be sexy, yes I can still have desires and fantasies, and get attention from people who think I’m hot, but no, I personally do not plan to bang every Todd, Dick, and Hairy that ask. 

Thank you for asking, but no thank you. 

If you’d like to take me on a date and get to know me (once this quarantine is all over) then you may ask me that and I will let you know one way or the other. 

If you are not interested that is OKAY too, I do not need to know that you are not interested, it makes no difference to me. We all have different tastes, desires, attractions etc. you go after whatever those are to you (consensually of course). 

If you continue to have questions you’re always welcome to hire me as a consultant where I will answer and advise based on my background in sex positivity. 

Good day to you and to all!

P.S.

Why not buy yourself a new toy and continue your sex positive exploration while helping your fellow sex positive blogger get a small % in return for making said recommendation? Cool. Discover Lelo for ultimate pleasure experiences.

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