Dreaming Yourself to Orgasm

orgasms while sleeping

Achieve Orgasm While You Sleep

Lucid Dreams and Sex Fantasies

This morning I had a dream orgasm. Or I was dreaming and then I had an orgasm that caused me to wake up and think, ‘did I just have a real life orgasm from a dream?” And the answer was, yes.

This was a real awakening for me.

Sure, I’ve had orgasms during dreams before but it’s happened so rarely I haven’t thought about it in a long time. I realized a couple of things from this situation.

  1. It’s probably the best way to wake up (having someone put bacon directly in your mouth is a close second but different story for a different day)
  2. It’s like pleasure with only your mind doing any of the work
  3. It doesn’t require anyone else to be there

I know some of you may be thinking, who did this woman dream about? And I’ll tell you that you probably don’t know the guy. Unless you are the guy, in which case I’ve already told you so if I didn’t tell you it wasn’t you.

But, it wasn’t really him, right? It was all in my head. This is revolutionary to me. You know how much drama could be saved if we only had sexual relationships with people while we were sleeping?!

I decided to look into all of this further.

I do not know why it has taken me until today to make the lucid dreaming / dream orgasm connection. It was like all of this unconscious power becoming suddenly conscious.

The esoteric world unfolds exactly how and when you need it to, I suppose.

Turns out, lucid dreaming to have sexual fantasy experiences occur is like the second most popular reason why people train themselves to lucid dream, flying being the top one (flying while fucking though?! Fly-fucking, imagine that!).

Anyhoo.  

It is possible to be aware that you are dreaming while you’re dreaming and steer the dream into certain directions — like having a wild rendezvous with Jon Snow in an eagle’s nest on top of a mountain — or whatever you’re into.

What I’ve understood from reading about it in more detail is that a lot of fucked up shit can happen. For example, you could be dream-fucking Jon Snow and he could turn into an angry griffin or your pervy uncle Stew or just vanish in mid-air right in the middle of the sex stuff.

Why? Because even if you are aware of what’s going on in the dream, you’re still in the subconscious space where random weird things are bound to turn up. It’s a delicate balance of the mind.

And this is where it gets interesting. There is a very specific reason why your dream lover turns into a dream monster.

According to The World of Lucid Dreaming:

This is the “carrot on the string” – one of the greatest self-limiting constructs in lucid dreamwork. Just when what you want is in reach, something yanks the string and you are left grasping at air. The reason this happens is because although we may crave lucid dream sex, the dream actually requires sexual connection.

So, even in our sex dream states we still have to deal with the struggle to go eat a carrot. . . (I HAD to do it because how often do I get this kind of chance?)

The article goes on to discuss how you will actually be more successful at having lucid dream orgasmic sex IF you don’t go into the lucid dream trying to just fuck someone because they’re hot. Basically, if your fantasy is shallow and objectifying your subconscious will often reject it because that’s not what most humans want deep down in their heart of hearts, mind of minds, pussy of pussies, cock of cocks.

What we want is real connection with people.

Lovehoney.com The Sexual Happiness People

It was fascinating to learn that people who practice lucid dreaming with the intent of having meaningful connections with their dream lovers find that they:

  1. Have more sleep-orgasms
  2. Become more successful at finding their dream lovers in real life

What?!

I know, right? It sounds like a bunch of pseudoscience fluff at first, yet, when you think about it makes sense in a way.

Dreams are where you go to work through the shit of your day-to-day life. So if you’re going into your dream world to work through a specific problem or desire and you succeed at doing that in your dreams you can better see how to make that work in waking reality.

Of course, I had no conscious control of this morning’s sex dream that turned waking life orgasmic, yet I so thoroughly enjoyed it that I’d like to see if I can make it happen more often. Why not? I’m just sleeping anyway.

Explore the World of Lucid Dreaming with the above book.

Can you lucid dream?

Tell me your thoughts in the comments.

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Weird Sex Wednesday: To Have or to Not Have Rebound Sex

rebound sex and why you should or shouldn't partaken in rebound sex

Getting Over Someone By Getting Under Someone Else

or

Might As Well Use Every Trick in the Book, Game On

There are so many different ways people choose to get over a bad breakup. Some people eat their feelings, some people drink their feelings, some people fuck away their feelings. Of course, any guru transformative asshat will tell you that you shouldn’t do any of those things, instead, you should feel your feelings.

Well, guess what? I’m not a transformative asshat guru. I’m more like a hot mess that can write a sentence or two and I’m here to tell you that if you want to shove gallons of ice cream down your throat, or chug a bottle of tequila or fuck your next Tinder match within minutes of meeting– go for it.

Who the fuck am I to tell anyone what they can or can’t do?

Free delivery on all orders over $60

Personally, I love rebound sex.

We can’t all spend every hour of every day “processing our feelings.” Barf. Of course, you probably should spend SOME time processing your feelings but it’s okay to take a break from it, to take an actual actionable step toward recovery. Sometimes that action is getting action.

Here are some reasons to love rebound sex.

  • Rebound Sex can distract you from your pain for a brief moment in time.
  • Rebound Sex can help you discover more about your sexuality.
  • Rebound Sex can get you over that withdraw of touch you’ve been trying to overcome.
  • Orgasms.
  • Calories burned!
  • Connection to another human.
  • Orgasms!
  • Rebound sex can help you release neurotransmitters in your brain that actually improve your mood.
  • Rebound sex can give you a self-esteem boost. (Let’s be real, even if you love yourself and all of that, it’s nice to feel wanted.)
  • Rebound sex can let you explore different sex stuff that you didn’t get to do with your ex. Pegging, anyone?
  • Rebound sex is great exercise.
  • Oh, yeah, and ORGASMS.

Sure, sure, sex isn’t ALL about orgasms but gee golly it sure is nice to have one or a hundred in a night.

Free delivery on all orders over $60

My recent rebound sex has been phenomenal. Damn. Starting to sweat just thinking about it. It took me like two days to recover and start walking properly again. Have I gotten over my ex (who was never my ex because we were never technically together)? Not entirely. Let’s be real. Have I been feeling my feelings? Yes. Because I can feel feelings and eat ice cream and drink tequila and have sex because it doesn’t hurt to try everything, right?

Rebound game on.

Want to Buy Your Own Ref Costume (Or for Someone You Love)? Here’s one similar to the one in my video:
Leg Avenue Women’s No Rules Referee

Masturbation Monday: Lelo Sona Cruise Reviewed

sex toy review

If You Like Orgasming in 20 seconds or Less This is the Toy For You

or

I have no brains left thanks to Lelo Sona Cruise

Thanks to a couple of my loyal amazing followers who pitched in on a gift for me (which you can also do by checking out my Amazon Wish List here) I received the Lelo Sona Cruise in the mail a few days ago.

On the Lelo page, they make claims that this tiny ass clitoral vibrator:

“stimulates 75% more of your clitoris, for a feeling that will change your life, one orgasm at a time.”

It does this by using sonic waves instead of a typical vibrator that uses, well, vibrations. The waves go beyond the external to pulsate and stimulate (because our clits are a web of nerve endings, not just little fashionable vulva buttons).

Since my time at Fascinations, I have tried nearly a hundred different sex toys. I have become a sex toy snob. I have three favorite companies and Lelo happens to be one of them (We-Vibe and Fun Factory are the other).

Receive Free, Discreet Shipping on all We-Vibe orders.

A former coworker used to refer to Lelo toys as “Gucci for your Coochie,” which is as close to accurate as you’re going to get. They are indeed a luxury sex toy company (the $2,500 gold prostate toy pretty much exemplifies that). Lelo designs are streamlined, beautiful, and classy. Plus, they’re all made out of medical-grade materials and are rechargeable.

When I opened the Sona Cruise box I was both mesmerized by the impressive design and slightly skeptical about this small suction looking device doing anything of value for my pussy. I could not imagine how anything could be better than the Hitachi (my most recent vibrator love).

The thing about vibrators is that, just like with polyamory, you can love MORE than ONE.

Just because you get pleasure from eating pizza does not take away from the fact that you also get pleasure from putting ice cream in your mouth.

After charging and cleaning the Lelo Sona Cruise, it was time to give it a whirl or for it to whirl me or perhaps we’d whirl each other?! Anyway. I turned it on and it was SO quiet. After getting used to the power-drill sounds of the Hitachi I thought there was NO way it was going to do anything at all to my clitoris.

I put the tiny spout mouth up to my finger, it was like, egh. I put it on my nipple, it was like oohh, okkaayy, maybe. . . I put it on my clit.

Well. I TRIED to put it on my clit.

lelo sona cruise sex toy review
Oh, hey girlfriend.

After I maneuvered it around to find the exact correct spot for ultimate sensation, which took a bit longer than I thought it would, I hit THE SPOT and it felt like a fucking electrical lightning surge zip all the way my body.

I dropped it.

Whoa. I thought. WHOA.

“Okay, little pink friend with the power punch, looks like you may be able to hold your own after all,” I said to myself in my head and not out loud or anything weird like how dirty talking your sex toys would probably be, that I would never EVER do. . . .

Right.

Moving on.

The very first initial contact was super intense, but I needed lube.

So, I put a drop or 10 (because I have the Sahara desert of vaginas from living in this dry ass climate and almost always being hungover and dehydrated) on my pussy, took a deep breath and got back to work.

Simply. Yes.
Yes.

Yyyesss.

Holy shit.

Damn.

Alright.

I couldn’t even pay attention to porn while this thing was on my button. My brain couldn’t handle the multi-tasking. My clit could barely handle the sensations.

I turned on the different rhythms/patterns to help give my clit a seconds rest and it turned out that I enjoyed the rhythm/patterns MORE than just the straight BUZZ, which NEVER has happened with a toy before.

Fuck.

Shit.

Oh. My. God.

It felt like a three-minute long mini-orgasm that ended with a MAJOR orgasmic mind-blowing explosion.

WTF?!

Small little pink friend, if that’s how you’re going to roll (or pulsate), I will accept your offering.

So, yeah. Um. It was good.

But that’s not all my friends and followers. That is not where the Lelo Sona story ends.

Later that night, my current mansexfriendthingthatdoesnothavealabel wanted me to demo the toy for him.

He had been eating me out so when I put the toy on my clit it made these amazing sloppy wet noises that were kind of hilarious and also totally recordable for an interesting EDM remix throwdown. Yet, still, the sound of the toy itself was almost inaudible. Anyhoo…

A lot of people claim that sex toys/vibrators sort of “numb the clit,” and that they create this inability to get off with actual people, but I’m here to counter that and say that since the Hitachi and the Lelo Sona Cruise I’ve turned into basically a Cum Queen. I’m orgasming ALL the fucking time, both alone and with people. At the beginning, in the middle, and at the end. Like, holy shit. Both of these toys seem to propel my orgasm FORWARD instead of blocking them at all.

Not only that, but after I had demoed it for a few minutes we threw it aside and started having P-in-V sex; we’re both still not sure what actually happened, but my vagina contracted and released and contracted as if it wanted to extract the orgasm from his cock all by itself. This situation was almost entirely involuntarily on my behalf. As if my vagina was turning into its own entity and cock juice was its main dietary source.

I got the juice. Pretty sure I got part of his brains too, since right after, as we were getting dressed, he put his shoes on the wrong feet (making it the best after-sex compliment I have ever gotten).

So, would I recommend the Lelo Sona Cruise?

Oh my god.

Fuck.

Shit.

Yyaasss.

BUT now I want to try ALL the sonic wave sex toys to see how the others compare. Personally, I’d like the spout/mouth part of be a little bit bigger to cover more surface area even though I am aware that the waves move around the whole space. I think it would help ease some of the intensity so it could grow into a MAJOR orgasm without cumming within 10 seconds (unless you like cumming in 10 seconds, so you can move on with your life. I like it to last a little bit longer than that just because there’s not much else I’d rather be doing.)

Also. Lube & toy cleaner are an absolute must with this.

Make sure the lube is water-based. Silicone on silicone has been known to be a bad idea, so why risk it?

They could still have this on sale at Lelo:

Or Take a risk and buy it off Amazon here:

READ THE UPDATED SONA CRUISE REVIEW 3 MONTHS LATER HERE

P.S.

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Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo

Masturbation Monday: The Original Hitachi Magic Wand Reviewed

sex toy review

Like a Power Tool For Your Clit!

or

Yes, you too can orgasm in just minutes…

I worked at a sex toy store for a little over a year; during that time I tried, tested, had affairs with many different vibrators, dildos, anal plugs etc. because of this experience I have become quite snobby with regard to my sex toy desires. Yet, I’ve always avoided the Original Hitachi Magic Wand.

Why did I avoid the Hitachi Magic Wand?

Well, I had a series of concerns and quite frankly, fears.

It’s big.

It plugs into a wall outlet.

It’s loud!

But most of all, I heard rumors that once you went down the Hitachi road you’d never want to walk down any other road ever again.

And I love my We-Vibes and my Lelos and Fun Factories.

I didn’t WANT the Hitachi to be the end-all be-all of vibrators. I mean, could you imagine carrying this giant ass thing around in your purse or even in your sex bag?! (You do have a sex bag, right? I’ll discuss sex bags another time just in case you do not.)

Admittedly though, I like a good sex toy and this one had a good reputation (and has so for decades). So, I put it on my Amazon Wish List and was surprised to find it arrive at my door a couple of weeks later. It was meant to be! I was so excited. (You can watch me open the sex box and see all the other goodies I got too by going to this article.)

How did the Hitachi Magic Wand work out for me?

Oh, boy.

Well, the very first time I tried it, I put it on the lower speed and used it OVER my panties (which you can buy by contacting me directly) even on the lower speed and over my panties it was SUPER intense. Of course, I’m a go-getter winner that has to find out for herself what something feels like, so I turned it up on HIGH.

I’d like to blame it on allergies or even a hormone imbalance but no, it was blasting away at my clit so hard my eyes started watering. I was reflexively and unintentionally crying from whatever sort of pleasure/pain thing was happening to me. IT WAS AWESOME!

The rumors are true.

The we-vibes and the Lelos and the Fun Factories have their place, but the Hitachi Magic Wand is definitely something every person should own. EVERY PERSON! Why? Because you can also actually use it for its original intended purpose as the body massager. I put it against my head (because I am a strange bird) and it was lovely. It was like a brain massage, it was like I didn’t have to think about anything because my brain literally could not think while I held it there for like ten seconds.

Full disclosure, I have had someone attempt forced orgasms on me with the Hitachi Rechargeable Magic Wand, these orgasms are possible, but it’s not as easy and the toy is not nearly as powerful.

In fact, this is the one and only time that I will tell you to get the vibrator that plugs in. Sure, it’s a bit odd at first to know that your clit is just one shortage away from being zapped off by bad electrical wiring but you really are only risking it for about two minutes max.

That’s right. I can orgasm in under a minute with this thing. Earlier today I orgasmed in like 20 seconds and then I kept going to see if I could have any more– and I did! I’d count about 4 in under 5 minutes. The Hitachi Magic Wand is almost as good as eating magical candy and having a guy eat you out for an hour while you trip (not that I would ever ingest anything illegal but I’ve heard the stories).

Final thoughts on the Hitachi Magic Wand:

If you’re an experienced sex toy user (in the clitoral vibrator realm), aka you’ve tried all the rest, then I’d suggest you give the wand a whirl (or better yet, let it whirl you).

If you’re new to vibrators, I’d try some other less intense toys first and ease into this power-tool for your pussy a few years down the road.

(Feel free to email me if you’d like some suggestions RIGHT NOW or you can subscribe to the blog/ Instagram and stay tuned for my upcoming reviews on other vibrators I love).

(You can also always use it over your underwear or even a pillow. Also, you can put a condom over the head if you want an easier way to keep it clean and/or share it with others.)

P.S.

You can go here to buy the Magic Wand Massager with Shibari Variable Speed Controller for you or someone you love today:

Don’t forget the lube (you can always use more lube):

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Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo

Wank Off Wednesday: Unboxing These Dicks in a Box

unboxing

The best gifts come in BIG Boxes

Or

Now I Shall Cum For Years to Come!

Last Friday I received a large box in the mail. I was not home when this large box arrived, but when I walked through the door I knew it must be my sex toy surprise from an anonymous friend. I couldn’t open it right away because my friends were waiting for me at the bar down the street, so I took it upstairs where it sat for hours unopened; yet while at the bar I was thinking of it the whole time. Since I live only two blocks from the drinking establish we were all at, I slipped out unseen to open said box as I could not longer contain my anticipation and excitement.

Here is the video of the unboxing. I know it’s long but I promise there are at least five pervy inappropriate jokes within this box (along with several dicks in this big dry box, which of course I make opinions about).

This video is long, but not as long as your dick, right?

Didn’t watch the video because it was long and intimidating unlike your dick, huh?

Fine.

Here’s a pic:

adult toys and unboxing
My favorite kind of toys to play with.

Included in said big dry box:

  • The Hitachi Magic Wand
  • Ben-Wa Balls
  • Lube
  • Toy Cleaner
  • Clone-a-Willy
  • And a 7.5 inch Dildo with suction-cup & vibrator attachments

This guy knows how to send a party to my door!

I’m beyond grateful. And I will be reviewing each of these items separately in the upcoming weeks. I will say I could not wait to try to Hitachi, I’ll give full review soon but it was SO intense it made my eyes water the first time I tried it. Talk about a power tool for the pussy.

Want to be as amazing as the person who sent me such a pleasurable big box full of dicks? Well, you can! Check out my Amazon Wishlist and go ahead– make my day. (Could really use some new patio furniture. You might not think that’s very sexy but I will tell you right now I’d cum all over at the sight of it on my porch.)

Get yourself or someone you’re into all the stuff from my box with these links:

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

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Twitter
Facebook

Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo

Freak Fuck Friday: If I Had a Penis For a Day

freaky friday

Would You Ever Want to Switch Bodies With Another Person?

or

What Would You Do In Someone Else’s Body?

Earlier today a guy reached out on Instagram to tell me that he has enjoyed reading my blog, which of course I was flattered by the thoughtful comment. I checked out HIS Instagram and it’s by far one of the best pages I have ever seen. I’d suggest giving his weird napkin ball page a follow if you dare, as it’s quite a treat. While you’re at it feel free to follow mine too, and you’re welcome to DM me if you have something interesting to say.).

Anyway, since I was hungover as shit I asked him to give me today’s blog topic. He asked me if I have ever thought about what the sexual experience feels like (sensation/sensitivity etc) for the opposite sex.

Of course, the answer is a resounding YES. I think about that shit ALL the time.

Now, to be clear, I’m not a fan of Freud and I do not believe in the whole penis-envy bullshit, but I have definitely been curious to know what it must be like to walk around with a long thingy and two squishy hairy ball thingys hanging between my legs (I’ve also wondered what it would be like to be giraffe or a tree or a poodle–eat the mushrooms and you will too!).

I’ve thought about it SO much that I often ask my male friends if they’d ever Freaky Friday with me.

That’s exactly and not exactly what it sounds like.

In my Freaky Friday the guy and I would switch bodies, just like it happens in the movie of the same name. Except my Freaky Friday would play out more like a porn than a Disney film.

I have the whole day planned out too.

First I’d hire a prostitute. Wait, no, FIRST I would pee standing up and THEN I’d hire a prostitute. I’d pay the prostitute a huge sum of money (because now I am a man and just magically have lots of money for some reason) and the prostitute and I would spend a few hours having all the different kinds of sex, oral sex, penis-in-vagina sex, anal sex. I’d even have this very fine, intelligent, hard-working woman peg me, because WHY NOT? I now have a prostate and I’ve heard that massaging the prostate dramatically improves the sensation of an orgasm.

Then I’d go out to a bar and hit on a woman just to feel what it feels like to be rejected once in my life (hahaha you can discover how much that is not true with my blog on rejection located here). But, seriously, I’d go and try to talk to women to see what it’s like from the other side of things.

Maybe because during Freaky Friday I’m a woman in a man’s body, but still have a woman’s brain I’d luck out and one of the women would be interested in me in a sexual way. (Though since I am woman who also has sex with women, I can’t say it’s worked very well for me thus far).

Moving on.

I’d do that helicopter penis dance.

I’d write my name in the snow or the sand or the dirt or whatever happens to be outside that I can pee on.

I’d pee in an alley.

I’d pee off a mountain.

I’d pee out of a window.

(I’d also drink a lot so I could pee some more).

I’d take a pic of my dick and then send it to someone who politely requested to see it.

I’d go to a gay bar. I’d try to hit on men. I’m not quite sure what time of the day it is at this point, but I’d still want to have all of the different kinds of gay sex a guy can have. Why not?!

At some point, I’m sure I’d masturbate too.

Am I missing anything?!?!

Anything I forgot to do while I had this Freaky Friday dick?

I have NO idea what the sensation/sensitivities are for men. I assume all dicks are different in that regard. I also assume that our pleasures are similar though different. We wouldn’t all be rubbing up on each other so much if we weren’t getting that mind-blowing, toe-curling, internal fireworks show moment we all call an orgasm (of course, I will not go into the number of times I haven’t had an orgasm by fucking a dude with a penis because I’m not writing a novel here).

So… if anyone is interested in this experiment let me know. We can, I don’t know, find some magic spell and make it happen.

Cheers to the Freaks and the day we call Friday.

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

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Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo