Tits Out Tuesday: Free the Nipple Movement v. Feminism v. Objectification

free the nipple movement

Free the Nipple Movement, is it Feminist?

or

Why Are Your Tits Out All the Time?

You know, I started this blog because I like giving blow jobs. I like giving blow jobs and I feel guilty about enjoying it because somewhere deep down in my feminist bloodline I feel guilty about liking dick.

After 3 days of mania that also included giving one of the best blow jobs I have ever given–I believe it was described as “transcendent,”–my throat chakra opened, I ditched my liberal identity, and began talking about pleasure as a political tool for growth and change. Of course, I don’t always outright say it. Mostly I just talk about sex stuff, but the point is when we all experience more joy, love, orgasms, the world is a better place. When we all can open up about what and who we like, we can all experience our environments in deeper, more profound ways.

As Go Eat A Carrot has grown I’ve been contacted by some interesting people to say the least. Recently a modeling agency reached out to me.

Now I will tell you right now that for a second in time my EGO almost got the best of me. But, there was something off about the email.

The woman who sent it explained that the agency had booked models for

“Playboy, Maxim, Sports Illustrated, and FHM to name a few.”

Then she went on to say how a different client was looking to film a pro-feminist documentary about the Free the Nipple Movement and body positivity.

She wrapped up the email with my favorite part:

“If interested please respond with your name, age, height, weight, and standard body measurements.”

Perhaps I’m cynical. Skeptical. A non-believer in the GOOD of people. But, if you’re a modeling agency booking women for Playboy, then you reach out to a non-model to be in your “pro-feminist” doc about body positivity only to follow it up by asking how FAT they are, I mean, you clearly are unaware of what kind of documentary you’re actually making.

It sounds like your client is using the Free the Nipple Movement and the body positivity movements to create a film that claims to be feminist only to continue to objectify women–but now women of ALL shapes and SIZES.

Anniversary Collection

Cool.

Coolio.

Cool carrot.

I objectify myself quite often. But I am making the conscious choice to do so. And sure, it’s okay to mix sexuality with feminism. What’s not okay is to lie about your intentions. It appears to me that this company’s intentions is to make money off of the female body by playing off the current cultural phenomenon of feminism, which leaves a bad bad taste in my mouth. (Yes, even worse than stale ejaculate).

The whole point of the Free the Nipple movement is to de-sexualize female breasts.

It’s really fucking annoying that the only time we see boobs are in sexual contexts. The idea is that if we normalize the nude body maybe everyone will calm down a bit. Perhaps be able to keep it in their pants when it needs to be kept in the pants. You know, like when women are breastfeeding their babies, that would be a pretty good time to not get a boner about boobs.

I mean, dudes can get turned on by elbows and feet and fingers and ANYTHING attached to a body really, so why make the boobs extra special? They have nipples and areolas too, some dudes even have boobs that are bigger than some women’s boobs, but if they wanted to walk around shirtless that would be okay?

Come on!

Anyway. I’ll all for freeing the nipple. I’m even for documentaries about body positivity and freedom of expression etc. but only if that’s what the documentaries are actually about and not some trick to show more boobs for guys to wank off to … there’s enough porn out there for that. In fact, there are porn categories for ALL the different boobs sizes guys like to wank off to. The Free the Nipple Movement goes beyond that, to the place where people can look at nipples and not feel the immediate need to spank the frank or diddle the skittle or whatever.

Here’s a toy you can buy for your wanking off pleasure:

Wantis Premium Male Dual Channel Space

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Masturbation Monday: Lelo Sona Cruise Reviewed

sex toy review

If You Like Orgasming in 20 seconds or Less This is the Toy For You

or

I have no brains left thanks to Lelo Sona Cruise

Thanks to a couple of my loyal amazing followers who pitched in on a gift for me (which you can also do by checking out my Amazon Wish List here) I received the Lelo Sona Cruise in the mail a few days ago.

On the Lelo page, they make claims that this tiny ass clitoral vibrator:

“stimulates 75% more of your clitoris, for a feeling that will change your life, one orgasm at a time.”

It does this by using sonic waves instead of a typical vibrator that uses, well, vibrations. The waves go beyond the external to pulsate and stimulate (because our clits are a web of nerve endings, not just little fashionable vulva buttons).

Since my time at Fascinations, I have tried nearly a hundred different sex toys. I have become a sex toy snob. I have three favorite companies and Lelo happens to be one of them (We-Vibe and Fun Factory are the other).

Receive Free, Discreet Shipping on all We-Vibe orders.

A former coworker used to refer to Lelo toys as “Gucci for your Coochie,” which is as close to accurate as you’re going to get. They are indeed a luxury sex toy company (the $2,500 gold prostate toy pretty much exemplifies that). Lelo designs are streamlined, beautiful, and classy. Plus, they’re all made out of medical-grade materials and are rechargeable.

When I opened the Sona Cruise box I was both mesmerized by the impressive design and slightly skeptical about this small suction looking device doing anything of value for my pussy. I could not imagine how anything could be better than the Hitachi (my most recent vibrator love).

The thing about vibrators is that, just like with polyamory, you can love MORE than ONE.

Just because you get pleasure from eating pizza does not take away from the fact that you also get pleasure from putting ice cream in your mouth.

After charging and cleaning the Lelo Sona Cruise, it was time to give it a whirl or for it to whirl me or perhaps we’d whirl each other?! Anyway. I turned it on and it was SO quiet. After getting used to the power-drill sounds of the Hitachi I thought there was NO way it was going to do anything at all to my clitoris.

I put the tiny spout mouth up to my finger, it was like, egh. I put it on my nipple, it was like oohh, okkaayy, maybe. . . I put it on my clit.

Well. I TRIED to put it on my clit.

lelo sona cruise sex toy review
Oh, hey girlfriend.

After I maneuvered it around to find the exact correct spot for ultimate sensation, which took a bit longer than I thought it would, I hit THE SPOT and it felt like a fucking electrical lightning surge zip all the way my body.

I dropped it.

Whoa. I thought. WHOA.

“Okay, little pink friend with the power punch, looks like you may be able to hold your own after all,” I said to myself in my head and not out loud or anything weird like how dirty talking your sex toys would probably be, that I would never EVER do. . . .

Right.

Moving on.

The very first initial contact was super intense, but I needed lube.

So, I put a drop or 10 (because I have the Sahara desert of vaginas from living in this dry ass climate and almost always being hungover and dehydrated) on my pussy, took a deep breath and got back to work.

Simply. Yes.
Yes.

Yyyesss.

Holy shit.

Damn.

Alright.

I couldn’t even pay attention to porn while this thing was on my button. My brain couldn’t handle the multi-tasking. My clit could barely handle the sensations.

I turned on the different rhythms/patterns to help give my clit a seconds rest and it turned out that I enjoyed the rhythm/patterns MORE than just the straight BUZZ, which NEVER has happened with a toy before.

Fuck.

Shit.

Oh. My. God.

It felt like a three-minute long mini-orgasm that ended with a MAJOR orgasmic mind-blowing explosion.

WTF?!

Small little pink friend, if that’s how you’re going to roll (or pulsate), I will accept your offering.

So, yeah. Um. It was good.

But that’s not all my friends and followers. That is not where the Lelo Sona story ends.

Later that night, my current mansexfriendthingthatdoesnothavealabel wanted me to demo the toy for him.

He had been eating me out so when I put the toy on my clit it made these amazing sloppy wet noises that were kind of hilarious and also totally recordable for an interesting EDM remix throwdown. Yet, still, the sound of the toy itself was almost inaudible. Anyhoo…

A lot of people claim that sex toys/vibrators sort of “numb the clit,” and that they create this inability to get off with actual people, but I’m here to counter that and say that since the Hitachi and the Lelo Sona Cruise I’ve turned into basically a Cum Queen. I’m orgasming ALL the fucking time, both alone and with people. At the beginning, in the middle, and at the end. Like, holy shit. Both of these toys seem to propel my orgasm FORWARD instead of blocking them at all.

Not only that, but after I had demoed it for a few minutes we threw it aside and started having P-in-V sex; we’re both still not sure what actually happened, but my vagina contracted and released and contracted as if it wanted to extract the orgasm from his cock all by itself. This situation was almost entirely involuntarily on my behalf. As if my vagina was turning into its own entity and cock juice was its main dietary source.

I got the juice. Pretty sure I got part of his brains too, since right after, as we were getting dressed, he put his shoes on the wrong feet (making it the best after-sex compliment I have ever gotten).

So, would I recommend the Lelo Sona Cruise?

Oh my god.

Fuck.

Shit.

Yyaasss.

BUT now I want to try ALL the sonic wave sex toys to see how the others compare. Personally, I’d like the spout/mouth part of be a little bit bigger to cover more surface area even though I am aware that the waves move around the whole space. I think it would help ease some of the intensity so it could grow into a MAJOR orgasm without cumming within 10 seconds (unless you like cumming in 10 seconds, so you can move on with your life. I like it to last a little bit longer than that just because there’s not much else I’d rather be doing.)

Also. Lube & toy cleaner are an absolute must with this.

Make sure the lube is water-based. Silicone on silicone has been known to be a bad idea, so why risk it?

They could still have this on sale at Lelo:

Or Take a risk and buy it off Amazon here:

READ THE UPDATED SONA CRUISE REVIEW 3 MONTHS LATER HERE

P.S.

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Tantus

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Lelo

Masturbation Monday: 2 Balls One Hole, Ben Wa Balls Reviewed

strengthen your pelvic floor

Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor With Glass Balls

or

Give Your Pussy A Good Workout

Happy Masturbation Monday!

Side note before I begin this review. Curious if you ever watch a certain porn and while you’re aroused getting yourself off all the stuff that’s happening in the porn is super hot, but then right after the orgasm you’re still watching it and like WTF?! Why was that working for me?!

That just happened to me while I was attempting to test out my latest toy up for review. I won’t go into detail, but I will say it was some weird animated thing that involved a very large (as in going all the way out the mouth from the vagina) alien-like penis. Perhaps because it’s so disturbing and unrealistic it somehow works in the fantasy realm of the brain.

This is clearly something that I will have to come back to and investigate further.

For now, on to the review.

Today I decided to try out pipedream’s Fetish Fantasy Series Black Glass Ben-Wa Balls.

First of all, many of pipedream products are decently priced but the quality of the material is typically not great, so I’d advise if you’re buying an anal toy or vibrator to use a condom on them or to consider it a one-and-done situation and throw it away after.

Since what I’m sticking inside of me is made out of glass it shouldn’t carry the same risk.

The back of the box says: “with regular use, you’ll enjoy improved muscle control and stronger, more frequent orgasms.”

It also suggests to place them under warm water or in the freezer for a cool sensation.

Here’s My Monday Masturbation Review of Medium-Sized Glass Ben-Wa Balls:

I started by cleaning the two shiny black balls with toy cleaner. Sure, they’ve never been used to before but who knows what happens during packaging and shipping.

I put a dab of lube on, roll them around in my hands, then pop one in.

My pussy swallows it in one big gulp.

I stick in the second one.

I stand up.

I’m surprised to discover that they do not fall out immediately, particularly considering all the sex I have.

I twirl around.

I swivel my hips up and down.

They don’t budge. They don’t seem to move at all. According to the research I did, when you move your hips they’re supposed to create a sensation; perhaps the ones I have are too big for my tight pussy, who knows? Anyway, I don’t really feel much but I keep them in anyway for the strength training.

Then I have to pee.

Many women are freaked out by ben-wa balls without strings. Well, here’s the thing, as long as you don’t stick them up your ass they won’t get lost. (DO NOT STICK THESE UP YOUR ASS UNLESS YOU WANT TO GO TO THE ER.) If you’ve ever used a Diva Cup during your period the method of extraction is the same. You crouch then use your pelvic floor muscles to push them out.

The first one comes out with ease. The second one takes a little bit more work since it’s way further up there.

I clean them again. I decide to try one of the temperature methods. Since it’s hot as man-balls in the desert here in Denver I put them in a mug full of ice water for 10 minutes to chill.

It’s so fucking hot here that when I go to put them back in, it feels cold for all of about 3 seconds before my hellfire of a pussy pocket heats the glass back up. In other words, the ice play melted too fast to do anything, but I’m sure on other occasions, it’s way more fun (I know it’s fun with glass dildos so I’d recommend that if you’re looking for temperature play).

I’ve had them in now for about 4 hours. I used the Hitachi with them still in and I didn’t really notice much of a difference. Then again the Hitachi is loud and distracting and I was also watching that weird disturbing porn.

Since these ben-wa balls are supposed to be used regularly I cannot comment yet on the increase in orgasms or intensity. I will give an updated review in a couple of weeks after I wear them every day if I notice any sort of difference.

In the meantime, keep eating those carrots and peaches and pink tacos and stuff.

And I hope you’re all enjoying yourselves this evening, wink wink.

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Lelo

Masturbation Monday: The Original Hitachi Magic Wand Reviewed

sex toy review

Like a Power Tool For Your Clit!

or

Yes, you too can orgasm in just minutes…

I worked at a sex toy store for a little over a year; during that time I tried, tested, had affairs with many different vibrators, dildos, anal plugs etc. because of this experience I have become quite snobby with regard to my sex toy desires. Yet, I’ve always avoided the Original Hitachi Magic Wand.

Why did I avoid the Hitachi Magic Wand?

Well, I had a series of concerns and quite frankly, fears.

It’s big.

It plugs into a wall outlet.

It’s loud!

But most of all, I heard rumors that once you went down the Hitachi road you’d never want to walk down any other road ever again.

And I love my We-Vibes and my Lelos and Fun Factories.

I didn’t WANT the Hitachi to be the end-all be-all of vibrators. I mean, could you imagine carrying this giant ass thing around in your purse or even in your sex bag?! (You do have a sex bag, right? I’ll discuss sex bags another time just in case you do not.)

Admittedly though, I like a good sex toy and this one had a good reputation (and has so for decades). So, I put it on my Amazon Wish List and was surprised to find it arrive at my door a couple of weeks later. It was meant to be! I was so excited. (You can watch me open the sex box and see all the other goodies I got too by going to this article.)

How did the Hitachi Magic Wand work out for me?

Oh, boy.

Well, the very first time I tried it, I put it on the lower speed and used it OVER my panties (which you can buy by contacting me directly) even on the lower speed and over my panties it was SUPER intense. Of course, I’m a go-getter winner that has to find out for herself what something feels like, so I turned it up on HIGH.

I’d like to blame it on allergies or even a hormone imbalance but no, it was blasting away at my clit so hard my eyes started watering. I was reflexively and unintentionally crying from whatever sort of pleasure/pain thing was happening to me. IT WAS AWESOME!

The rumors are true.

The we-vibes and the Lelos and the Fun Factories have their place, but the Hitachi Magic Wand is definitely something every person should own. EVERY PERSON! Why? Because you can also actually use it for its original intended purpose as the body massager. I put it against my head (because I am a strange bird) and it was lovely. It was like a brain massage, it was like I didn’t have to think about anything because my brain literally could not think while I held it there for like ten seconds.

Full disclosure, I have had someone attempt forced orgasms on me with the Hitachi Rechargeable Magic Wand, these orgasms are possible, but it’s not as easy and the toy is not nearly as powerful.

In fact, this is the one and only time that I will tell you to get the vibrator that plugs in. Sure, it’s a bit odd at first to know that your clit is just one shortage away from being zapped off by bad electrical wiring but you really are only risking it for about two minutes max.

That’s right. I can orgasm in under a minute with this thing. Earlier today I orgasmed in like 20 seconds and then I kept going to see if I could have any more– and I did! I’d count about 4 in under 5 minutes. The Hitachi Magic Wand is almost as good as eating magical candy and having a guy eat you out for an hour while you trip (not that I would ever ingest anything illegal but I’ve heard the stories).

Final thoughts on the Hitachi Magic Wand:

If you’re an experienced sex toy user (in the clitoral vibrator realm), aka you’ve tried all the rest, then I’d suggest you give the wand a whirl (or better yet, let it whirl you).

If you’re new to vibrators, I’d try some other less intense toys first and ease into this power-tool for your pussy a few years down the road.

(Feel free to email me if you’d like some suggestions RIGHT NOW or you can subscribe to the blog/ Instagram and stay tuned for my upcoming reviews on other vibrators I love).

(You can also always use it over your underwear or even a pillow. Also, you can put a condom over the head if you want an easier way to keep it clean and/or share it with others.)

P.S.

You can go here to buy the Magic Wand Massager with Shibari Variable Speed Controller for you or someone you love today:

Don’t forget the lube (you can always use more lube):

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Wank Off Wednesday: Unboxing These Dicks in a Box

unboxing

The best gifts come in BIG Boxes

Or

Now I Shall Cum For Years to Come!

Last Friday I received a large box in the mail. I was not home when this large box arrived, but when I walked through the door I knew it must be my sex toy surprise from an anonymous friend. I couldn’t open it right away because my friends were waiting for me at the bar down the street, so I took it upstairs where it sat for hours unopened; yet while at the bar I was thinking of it the whole time. Since I live only two blocks from the drinking establish we were all at, I slipped out unseen to open said box as I could not longer contain my anticipation and excitement.

Here is the video of the unboxing. I know it’s long but I promise there are at least five pervy inappropriate jokes within this box (along with several dicks in this big dry box, which of course I make opinions about).

This video is long, but not as long as your dick, right?

Didn’t watch the video because it was long and intimidating unlike your dick, huh?

Fine.

Here’s a pic:

adult toys and unboxing
My favorite kind of toys to play with.

Included in said big dry box:

  • The Hitachi Magic Wand
  • Ben-Wa Balls
  • Lube
  • Toy Cleaner
  • Clone-a-Willy
  • And a 7.5 inch Dildo with suction-cup & vibrator attachments

This guy knows how to send a party to my door!

I’m beyond grateful. And I will be reviewing each of these items separately in the upcoming weeks. I will say I could not wait to try to Hitachi, I’ll give full review soon but it was SO intense it made my eyes water the first time I tried it. Talk about a power tool for the pussy.

Want to be as amazing as the person who sent me such a pleasurable big box full of dicks? Well, you can! Check out my Amazon Wishlist and go ahead– make my day. (Could really use some new patio furniture. You might not think that’s very sexy but I will tell you right now I’d cum all over at the sight of it on my porch.)

Get yourself or someone you’re into all the stuff from my box with these links:

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

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Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo

If You’re Happy and You Know It, You’re Probably Masturbating

woman's panties for sale

It’s Masturbation Monday!

or

Let’s Get Off Together, Alone

What better day to masturbate than the day after the weekend. You know that entire weekend where you didn’t get laid at all?! Or maybe you did– and now you have something to think about while you masturbate instead of just looking at porn hub. Either way, Monday is the perfect day to masturbate. Actually, any day ending in a Y is a good day to masturbate, but Monday and Masturbate both start with an M, so here we are, because … MMMMMM.

What is masturbation exactly?

Well, it’s different for every person out there, but essentially it’s when you take the time to pleasure yourself in a sexual manner. Does eating ice cream on the couch while watching Broad City count as masturbation?! I don’t know, did you experience any sort of orgasmic pleasure during the event? If so then yes, if not it’s perhaps is just pleasure for pleasure’s sake.

Moving on.

Why would a person masturbate?

Did you know that there are like a least three dozen reasons?

Some benefits of masturbation include:

  • Better Sleep
  • Stress Relief
  • Strengthens Your Pelvic Floor
  • Relieves Menstrual Cramps
  • Improves Your Immune System
  • Gets You More Intune With Your Body
  • Increases Self-Esteem

Oh, and you also get to have an orgasm without anyone else there to witness your O face. Oooo yes.

Plus, no one is there to give you an STI or look at you funny while you making those weird dolphin shrieks that for some reason get you off.

Yes, yes, yes! There are many reasons to masturbate. And now, every Monday I will be exploring the different realms of masturbation, from sex toy reviews to funny stories, to tips and tricks about getting off so you can move on with your day (or just go to sleep sooner).

Come on!

Indeed. Come to me and show me some support.

New to Go Eat A Carrot:

You can now trade with me! That’s right, from panties to pics to private convos, there’s something for everyone to get from me (if the price is right)! Check out my support page to get even closer to me (and help Go Eat a Carrot and Krystal herself continue to live on.)

Let’s all show ourselves some more love, yeah?

Happy Masturbation Monday 🙂

P.S.
May is also National Masturbation Month. I know I’m a little behind the times, but stay tuned next week for my favorite vibrator review!

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

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Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo