Thirsty Thursday: It’s Okay to be Sexy on Social Media

drink up if you are thirsty

It’s Time to Get Quenched

or

When It’s Hot, We All Get Thirsty

Growing up, “Thirsty Thursday” used to mean 99 cent Route 44s from the Sonic aka America’s Favorite Drive-In. The best Thirsty Thursday Route 44 Sonic beverage choice is and will always be a Cherry Limeade. Other running-up choices include the Strawberry Lemonade or a Grape/Orange/Cherry Slush or maybe MAYBE if the mood is just right, a cherry/vanilla Dr. Pepper. Yum Sonic drinks. (Now I am actually getting thirsty).

Today to be “thirsty” means something entirely different.

It no longer has anything to do with getting a giant-ass styrofoam cup full of corn syrup/ sugar-laced soda mixed with those perfectly tiny squared ice cubes for super cheap (though perhaps Sonic still has that special IDK I haven’t been there on a Thursday in years.).

Now, “to be thirsty” means to want or need something… particularly in relation to either attention or sexual relations or sexual attention or social media likes etc. etc.

Here are some sentence examples of the two main ways the word “thirsty” is often used:

Dick messages like 50 women on Instagram every day asking them what’s up, trying to get them to talk and or fuck him; that bitch is thirsty.

Kitty has been staring at that guy across the bar for so long that drool is coming out her mouth and she’s about to start humping her chair; that bitch is thirsty.

Jack is always posting pics of his giant ass biceps on Instagram, that bitch is thirsty.

Krystal posts half-naked pics of herself all over Instagram all day, that bitch is thirsty.

Candy has sent over 5,000 emails trying to get interviews for publicity work, that bitch is thirsty.

SodaStream Fizzi MEGA KIT Sparkling Water Maker with 3 1L Carbonating Bottles and 60L CO2 Cylinder Cartridge,Lightweight Sleek Design, Makes Tap Into Sparkling Water in Seconds!

People seem to use this word in a negative context. Is it wrong to want attention? Is it wrong to want other people to see how sexy you are or to know that you’re thinking of them? Is it wrong to actually go after the things that you want? Fuck it. I don’t care. I’ll be thirsty all day every damn day.

As it was stated in an article called The Modern History of Thirst:

“I think holding in thirst to please other people and to be ‘cool’ is the thirstiest thing one can do.”

So I will not hold back my thirst.

I will continue to show my half naked body all over social media. Why? Because I like it. I like sex. I like being sexual. I like you liking it. I enjoy your attention.

I don’t give a fuck if you think I’m an attention-seeking slut because I AM. I am also about a million other things too so I can be that for a moment then go and be a weirdo who farts and picks her nose while she’s eating an entire container of ice cream. Why? Because we are all complex beings. We all have thirst, we all have hunger. We all want to be wanted whether we want to admit to that want or not.

So drink up bitches. This tall glass of lemonade won’t be full or wet for that many more days. . . (not sure if that sentence actually works in this context but I have other things to do with my day to day, like go and find a drink.)

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo

Advertisements

Do You Feel Worthy Enough To Handle The Rejections From Dating?

worthy of rejection

Tits Out & Truth Bombs Tuesday

Or

Some People Can’t Handle Your Worthiness

I couldn’t sleep last night. I felt sad and disappointed about my current state in love, dating, life.

I know it’s difficult for some of you to believe, but I’ve been rejected quite a bit lately.

(The most recent by a guy who claimed he really liked me, was totally into me; told me to text him then didn’t respond for nine days. Only to tell me when he did finally respond that he had hooked back up with his ex and has now decided to get back together with her. But… he still “wants to be friends.” #coolcarrot)

Dating can be a struggle for everyone, even people who are expert daters. One reason why I’m an expert dater is because of all the rejection, both to and from me.

It’s hard out there. And I’m not talking just about boners.

In the book I’ve been reading (More Than Two), the authors write:

“Even the healthiest person, when persistently rejected, will hurt.”

And it’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to feel sad or angry or disappointed when something doesn’t work out with someone, particularly when so many possibilities had felt so possible. Yet, I know that I am worthy of great, loving, thoughtful, intimate relationships. I know what I am capable of giving back to other people. I know how much love is already in my life, which helps me from spiraling all the way down into a bottomless pit of despair.

I also know that I have to feel the sadness. Because if I don’t feel it, it will bottle up and turn into something really ugly that no one, including myself, wants to see.

Here are some questions that I have been asking myself, perhaps they will also help you if you’ve recently been rejected.

  • What do I bring to others’ lives? (In friendships, family, and romance)
  • What love is already in my life?
  • What have I learned from these recent dating experiences?
  • How can I apply these learnings to create better relationships in the future?
  • What do I really want and what can I truly give?

I am so grateful to all of you who have been reading/watching/enjoying/following this blog. To tell you the WHOLE truth, starting this blog kept me from killing myself. I understand that that sounds dramatic, but I was in a pretty dark place a couple of months ago; my creativity was stifled, I didn’t know what I wanted, I was drinking and doing too many drugs.

Now at least my creativity isn’t stifled and I know what I want 🙂

Rejection is one of the costs of dating. It can be painful, but perhaps we can all look rejection more as a type of growing pain than something specifically directed at you as a person. Everyone is out there looking for different things and we can’t also be the one to give those things to another.

As they say:

“The people in a relationship are more important than the relationship.”

I’m not expert at any of this, but I have had many and plenty of experiences. I’m going to continue onward, knowing the difference between needing and wanting someone… knowing what I can give and knowing what I’m willing to take. Knowing that sometimes people aren’t meant to be in a relationship with you, but they are still beautiful wonderful people who deserve love and fulfillment.

Rejection is alright.

Because in the end, even when we lose, we win.

happy sad crying
Look! I cried a tear. Not because of rejection but because I thought of all the love I already have in my life and it made me so happy I cried.

Pre-coffee / Pre-process of emotions / early morning wake-up video / honestly have no idea what I even say on this but didn’t want you all to think I’m hiding shit from you. . .

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo

A #MeToo Story with a Revenge Twist Ending

me too

 

When boys will be boys, girls will be girls

or

Revenge Never Tasted So Sweet


I hit puberty at a fairly young age.

I don’t blame the hormone-laced barely edible chicken tenders they served regularly or the 2% hormone-infused milk they forced us to drink every day during lunch at my rural Kansas grade-school. I don’t BLAME that, though let’s all admit that it could have helped move it along.

In any event, by 6th grade I had grown to the height and weight and boob size that I still am today. In other words, my breasts were at eye level to pretty much every guy in my class.

Even as these guys went through puberty themselves they never forgot that I had boobs.

In fact, they liked to remind me every day that I had boobs. And an ass. And sometimes they even reminded me that I had a vagina!

How did they do this reminding, you may wonder?

Well, not only did they talk to me about my body parts, but they thought it was perfectly okay to grab my breasts and my ass and sometimes even my vagina whenever they were near my breasts, ass, vagina– which was at least every day during P.E. and sometimes in the hallway, in the classroom, when we were all at sporting events etc.

Now, I was nothing special.

I wasn’t the prettiest girl in the class nor was I the girl with the biggest breasts.

Sometimes I wonder if those girls were harassed more or less than me. More because they were prettier or had bigger breasts or less because it was too obvious because of their beauty or their breasts.

We didn’t discuss it.

I only talked to my best friend about it. She didn’t get harassed or assaulted. She said it was because she didn’t have any boobs; I think it was because her dad was the dudes’ P.E. teacher. (Those boys were dumb, but they weren’t complete idiots.)

I was a target.

I was a target of their torment.

I was not fond of being a target of torment. Who would be?

So I did what I had been taught to do. I told an authority figure what was going on. The first authority figure I told was my P.E. teacher, an older woman who had also been my mother’s P.E. teacher.

Guess how she responded?

Oh yeah, you got it.

She told me:

“Krystal, as you know, boys will be boys.”

And that was that on that.

So, I then went to my school counselor, also a woman, guess what she said?!

Mhmm. (There is a theme here.)

“Krystal as you know, boys will be boys!”

Such an interesting way to deal with the problems of sexual assault. Totally worked! Oh yeah, letting boys grab girls boobs and butts and vaginas because they’re just being boys is definitely a good strategy. It worked so well that at least several of these boys who were being boys turned out to be men who rape.

That’s right. ‘Boys will be boys’ turn into ‘men who rape’. Not all of them of course, but one is plenty, two is too many, three is just ridiculous. And since I know for a fact that more than three boys left our school system to become rapists I will say that the whole, “boys will be boys” mentality isn’t how we should be raising our boys.

Anyhoo. I’m not a parent or a teacher so what the fuck do I know? Surely, listening to girls when they say something is wrong or even teaching people how to respect each other is too much to ask of our authority figures?

Just want to say a big FUCK YOU to the authority figures who chose to disregard the fact that I was daily being sexually assaulted.

me too
Seriously, fuck you authority figures that do not listen to their students.

Don’t worry you all. This is where it turns and gets good.

I decided to take matters into my own hands. I decided I would seek REVENGE!!!

This is the part of the story that’s hard to tell. I know what I did was wrong, but to be clear, I felt the need to protect myself. I felt the need to teach these boys a lesson since no one else seemed capable of doing it.

Now, this is where I become both impressed and totally fucking scared of my former self.

I decided to kill them with kindness.

I began baking them cookies.

That’s right. About once a month I would bring cookies in for everyone to eat after lunch. Chocolate chip cookies, brownies, sugar cookies, you name it, I baked it. These boys got quite used to me being sweet. So sweet. So very fucking sweet.

Until of course, the last time I brought in cookies. No-bake cookies. Cookies that may or may not have been laced with chocolate ex-lax.

You see, these boys made me feel like shit every single day of my life from the time I was 12 to well even today when I think about it. All I wanted was for them for one moment in time to feel what it felt like to feel like shit. And the only way I could think of for that to happen was if they literally shit themselves.

The greediest ones were the ones who suffered the most. You know what the bible says about greed– it’s like a deadly sin and shit.

And shit they did.

One guy was fixing a roof when it hit him. I’m not sure if he made it to the toilet in time. Another guy was on the john for three hours. One girl came up to me the next day and said to me, “I know what you did to those cookies and I just wanted to let you know they did NOTHING to me!”

“So, you’re still full of shit?” I said.

She huffed away.

See, I couldn’t NOT allow anyone to eat the cookies. There were some innocent people who had to suffer with them, and I do apologize for that. My best friend even ate one KNOWING that they held a secret shitty ingredient just because she didn’t want to rouse suspension– a real trouper of a best friend.

What happened after?

Well, they started leaving me the fuck alone.

No one told any authority figures either. They must have realized that they were being punished for their past behaviors. Or maybe they were smart enough to know that the authority figures would only respond with, “girls will be girls!”

And I beg you all to keep that in mind. If you continue to allow your male children to get away with inappropriate behavior because of course, “boys will be boys.” Do not be surprised when girls start behaving like girls and take matters into their own hands. Or their own cookies, if need be.

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo

Weird Florida Stories About Good v. Evil

big dudes throwing things

Angel v. Demon

or

How to Balance Your Good and Your Evil

Friday Night Story

Saturday Night Story

There are moments in my life that I wonder if I am actually a bad influence on people. Like when I suggest to 20-years-olds that they can drink my beer when I’m “not looking” because I remember what it’s like to be a 20-year-old who wanted to drink. I think I’m doing a good thing when really I’m just helping a young woman potentially become an alcoholic.

Then the next night… my Tinder date takes me to the 4th bar of the night. As we park we see this HUGE dude throwing this newspaper stand all the way across the sidewalk. Eventually, we make our way to the front and he pops up.

Somehow I talk him out of murdering his girlfriend.

So. Am I an angel. Am I a demon? Is it possible to be both at the same time? Is that what makes us human? The same as being right AND wrong. And understanding it’s okay to be a walking contradiction because we ALL are.

This guy was like 6’5″ and SUPER buff but he was also a teddy bear at the same time who didn’t actually want to hurt the person he loved (and so he took it out on a newspaper stand). I found it fascinating. Like how he could throw other people’s property across the sidewalk and then the next minute be near tears thinking about how his mother never taught him how to love right.

Like, wow. That’s some fucking up-level self-reflection shit happening.

I am impressed by the nuances of humanity. Everyone talks about Florida in this sort of stereotypical way, where all the people here eat bath salts and try to eat each others’ faces off, but in reality, the people here are legit. There are hipsters and entrepreneurs and racists and artists and cooks that love wu-tang. It’s beautiful. Like I said to my friend the other night when I was SOBER and we were hanging out on the ocean… “we’re all just seashells that have been spat out of mother earth’s womb. Some of us are broken. Some of us are pretty. Some of us are broken AND pretty.”

Maybe we’ll be picked up and put into a pretty glass jar. Maybe we’ll get smashed into a million tiny pieces and become a part of the sand. Either way, we’re all here and we’re all trying to make it work, however, we can make it work for us while we’re here.

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo

Almost Died. Bet You’re Happy About That.

still alive

Fucking Weird Shit Does Happen in Florida

or

If Someone Is Too Nice… Never Trust Them

 

Today I almost died, twice. Once because we interacted with a clean-cut serial killer who rents his car out to unsuspecting victims. Then, in an almost-actual car wreck where we were mere inches away from smashing and decapitating ourselves (the truck right in front of us had a bunch of wood sticking out his backend).

The weirdest part was that I wasn’t scared of death at all. I just had a feeling that this wasn’t it. And if it was it, whatever.

I mean, I’ve led an interesting life. I went to Burning Man once. I’ve had a threesome (more than once). I even read fucking Infinite fucking Jest.

Sure, there are plenty of things I still want to do before I die. Like have sex with a bro in an alley and then punch him in the face right when I’m cumming (consensually of course). Oh, and I want to have a threesome with two hot adult people dressed up like Mario and Luigi. And also a threesome with two hot adult people dressed up like Woody and Buzz (almost happened once but Woody chickened out). AND sex with a guy with a BIG dick dressed up like the Easter Bunny. Maybe do something weird with Santa Claus too? So many wonders are left to unfold.

I also want to finish writing this stupid fucking book that you all “claim,” you want to “read.”

And read it you shall because I ain’t fucking dead yet!

Once I almost died because my Super Type A Friend and my Super Type B Burner friend and I were all out at lunch at this Indian restaurant. They were chatting about their drug use. I was eating food because that’s what one is supposed to do at an Indian buffet. In any event, I had just taken a bite when my super Type A friend said, “I’ve never really done any drugs. Except that one time I smoked crack.”

Of course, I choked. She had to give me the Heimlich while my Super Type B Burner friend decided to go back to her plate and shove the rest of her food in her mouth like we were some kind of live-entertainment dinner theater.

Anyhoo. I go into WAY more depth about this particular incident and the time I blew everyone’s naked… minds… in my book that perhaps one day I will let at least one of you fuckers read.

In the meantime.

Namaste and shit.

Happy to still be here. I guess.

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo