But, no, really, what is the matter with Kansas? Part 1

No place like Kansas? Umm… There are actually a lot of places like Kansas. . . .

Conservatives and Liberals, it’s time to take a seat

I’ve been back living in rural Kansas for the last 20-ish days having taken a 13+ year break from the sunflower state with a 3-year-stop in Chicago and decade-long stop in Colorado.

Many people, mostly people not from here (and several from my exact small town) can’t seem to fathom what has gotten into me. It seems strange, absurd, crazy to move back to an area that, to put bluntly, is dying from the inside out. A place that to an outsider, is staunchly and stubbornly conservative with no hope for redemption of any kind –spiritual, economical, physical, mental, etc.

But, I’ve always been down for a challenge. I only gamble on a sure-thing. I play to win. (You get the gist.)

I wouldn’t have moved back here if I thought it was completely hopeless.

Every time I’ve come back to visit I’ve driven through these small towns and I’ve thought, ‘Wow, what the fuck happened here?’ Downtowns deteriorating, plywood up over historic building windows, movie theaters no longer showing, restaurants no longer serving, even the bars are washed up dry in many places.

If they’re not dead, they’re dying.

I’ve often asked myself, can rural America be resuscitated?

Most economists say no.

But when have Kansans’ ever gave a fuck about what economists think?

What I’ve always loved about the people from this state is that we’re all a bunch of weirdos. We’re free-thinkers. We’re rebellious. We’re strong as fuck.

The people here have always been innovative, they’ve always been able to DIY EVERYTHING, they’ve been tough and wild and funnier than anyone really anywhere outside of here. Not only that, but they’ve been fucking kind as fuck. I mean, real thoughtful folk that will give you the shirt off their back if you ask.

And yet.

Here we are.

All of us here, fucked.

Tell me you’re not.

Come on. Prove to me that everything around here is going real swell.

I’m not here to go into some sort of political rant that continues the polarization of our community. That’s useless.

I want to know if the people here can get back to those traits that are so rooted in our blood? And can these traits of strength, DIY, rebellion etc. be used to their fullest potential for positive change?

I do not care about your morality.

I care about your reality.

What is your reality?

Fuck democrat. Fuck republican.

Liberal, conservative, something in between, or outside of that– your morality could in fact be in direct conflict with your reality.

Put that bullshit aside. Take a minute and reflect on what your issues truly are.

I’m only through part one of What’s the Matter with Kansas? And though the book is like 16-years-old, not much has changed, mostly if anything, it has just gotten worse. The most vital take-away thus far is to REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU COME FROM.

Take Populism as an example.

  • People v. The Elite
  • Marginalized groups v. dominant power structures
  • 99% v. 1%
  • Poor v. Rich

This section of the book stuck out to me:

“This is not far from how the Populists saw their movement: as a sort of revelation, a moment when an entire generation of “Kansas fools” figured out that they’d been lied to all their lives. Whether it was Republicans or Democrats in charge, they believed, mainstream politics were a ‘sham battle’ distracting the nation from its real problem– corporate capitalism.”

Could it be that the main issues people are facing here are financial in nature? Or is everyone who lives in Kansas secretly into being financially dominated* and role-playing as pay pigs to the government and corporations and anyone else who asks for money and I just missed the memo?

Are we really going to sit around and play the part of the masochist in this brutal BDSM scene?

Just because we can handle the pain doesn’t mean we have to take it.

It’s time to change the rules of the game. It’s time to own our strengths, our weirdness, our rebellious nature. If no one else is going to do it right, it’s time we DIY.

I’m ready to work on the actual problems, the reality of the situation we are all facing. I’d love to hear your stories, your opinions, what your action-plans / thoughts are for improvement / empowerment / resuscitation are. Or, if you think I’m wrong, bring it on. I’m open to dialogue. I’m also okay with being wrong, if that means more things are right than I realized.

More to come soon on:

  • How political polarization has infiltrated our daily capitalistic purchases
  • Fucked up yet badass Kansas historical leaders and what they can teach us
  • The best of the best crowd commentary + clapbacks

*Financial domination is a fetish in the kink community based on power exchange where people (mostly men) enjoy having other people (mostly women) take their money (large sums of money) from them. If you are one of these people send me all of your money, I deserve it more than you. I’m at least going to do something useful with it. AKA change the world.

Here’s the link if you too want to read What’s the Matter with Kansas?: How Conservatives Won the Heart of America

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Am I More Liberal Than Actual Liberals?

goodbye liberalism

Goodbye, Liberalism. Hello, Open-mindedness.

or

What Does It Mean In The World of Politics Today?

According to pretty much every definition I could find on what it means to be “liberal,” it would seem that perhaps I AM liberal and people who say they’re liberal are NOT actually liberal. OR… we need to redefine what being a liberal actually means.

At its most basic, a liberal is supposed to be someone who is open-minded, someone who is willing to respect or accept behavior or opinions different from one’s own.

From where I see it there are a lot of people out there who claim to be a liberal, but then neither respect or accept behavior or opinions of other people who are not also “liberal.”

I know, I know, it’s HARD to accept that other people think women shouldn’t have abortions or have access to birth control or even basic health care.

I know, I know, it’s HARD to accept that other people like being able to buy a machine gun as easy (if not easier) as it is to buy some Sudafed from the grocery store.

I know, I know, it’s HARD to accept that other people HATE other people for no good reason except they don’t like the way they look or the things they do naked (or in leather and chains etc.) in the bedroom.

But even though those people are WRONG, we still have to ACCEPT that they exist and that they have a right to their own thoughts and opinions.

Stay with me here.

Conservatives think that abortion is MURDER. Buying a gun is a fundamental RIGHT. Homosexuality is a SIN.

If you believed something was murder or went against your religious (or other) belief systems wouldn’t you be a little ATTACHED to those ideas? Even if half of an entire culture disagrees.

A person’s belief system creates one’s value system and one’s value system is how people find connection, love, community, reasons to continue living etc.

So, if conservatives are right and liberals are right, wouldn’t that make EVERYONE wrong?

How can you even go about changing someone’s belief system, transforming someone’s values?

If you’re a vegan and you believe that meat is MURDER and you go around yelling at everyone to stop eating meat, how many people do you think are going to stop eating meat?

Not very many.

Because no one likes being yelled at.

How have vegans tricked so many people into cutting meat from their diet?

Scare tactics mostly.

But, most of the people who get scared into going vegan don’t stay vegan.

It’s only through rational conversation and leading by example does true change take place.

This goes for ALL beliefs, perspectives, etc.

It doesn’t feel good when someone tells you that you’re wrong when deep down you believe in the core of your being that you’re right. It makes you not want to associate with the person who makes you feel bad about what you believe.

And I know, I know, a lot of you are SCREAMING at me. You’re telling me that you wouldn’t WANT to hang out with a sexist racist homophobic conservative republican. FFIINNEE!!! Continue to NOT hang out with them. Whatever.

But we’re never going to get anywhere if we’re just sitting around yelling at each other on the internet.

Or if we all avoid confrontation with someone of different beliefs because it’s not a nice feeling to be wrong.

Not everything is nice. This shit isn’t nice. This shit is necessary. It’s necessary to have the conversations, to respect other people’s perspectives, to lead by example, to be right, to be wrong, to not feel guilty about the fact that you can’t get everyone in the world to believe everything you believe in… because maybe… just maybe… not everything you believe in is actually something you should believe in… and it’s not until you get with yourself and get with people outside of yourself, outside your group of not-as-open-minded-as-you-pretend-to-be-friends, that maybe we can repair some of the major damage we’re all doing to each other.

So, friends and frienemies, am I right? Am I wrong? Did this piss you off a little bit? Did it turn you on? Are you ready to have some ugly /not nice conversations? Not just with others but also with yourself? Tell me your thoughts. I’m OPEN to hear you.

Read my newest elephant journal article by going here: Why I’m No Longer Aligned with the Liberal Agenda 

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Let’s Talk About Sex and Liberalism, Baby

Did A Blow Job Open My Throat Chakra?

or

How I Can No Longer Stay Silent About Any Of This Shit Anymore

Because I promised to tell the whole truth or the (hole truth depending on how pervy you are) here are the videos of me trying to explain what I’m doing. Yes, I repeat myself. I was only going to use one of these clips, then I thought, fuck it. I’m not perfect. You can see how I’m not perfect in this series in multiple ways. Also, I talk about this one specific blow-job and how I’m no longer a liberal– a lot below. So. Watch one or all or none of them, whatever.

Just Trying to Figure Out What I’m Doing Here aka Breathing onto Camera

First Take On Why I’m Even Doing This

I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

Second Take On Why You Should Go Get Your Carrot Wet

Not a Liberal or a Republican, Just a Slut

The Beginning of Go Eat a Carrot

Or

Krystal Says Goodbye to Her Liberal Identity and Hello to Pleasure

Here enjoy my manic breakdown episodes from a few days ago. I explain how I got to this point below in a long-winded story. I’ll be posting videos for the next 30 days, starting today.

Breakdown 1: Fuck

(It’s not easy being honest with the world)

Breakdown 2: How a Blow Job Opened My Throat Chakra.

Breakdown 3: Goodbye Hats, Goodbye Guilt

(aka let’s all get slutty)

Breakdown 4: This is what Mania Looks Like

(aka go take a nap)

Here’s how this all unfolded. I was in bed, depressed for like the 10,000th day of my life and I was thinking about how there was this conspiracy theory post that said, “If the government wants to take your guns then you probably need a gun.” It was weird because it was clearly a Republican-leaning person posting that meme but I still resonated with it and sort of wanted to go buy a gun.

I thought back to all of my beliefs I’ve had throughout my life. What had gotten me to that point where I was actually listening to the other side? Through a series of thoughts, I decided that maybe I was no longer a liberal after all. It didn’t necessarily have to do with guns either. Admittedly Roseanne was the last straw. I was on Instagram and I saw a post where Republicans were complaining about liberals complaining about Roseanne. I watched the show and realized that both sides were right and wrong at the same time and that I could agree and disagree with both sides equally.

Roseanne is a situational comedy. That means in 20 minutes they have to solve a situation (and do so in a funny way). And can you believe that a show was able to resolve one of the biggest situations we’ve faced in the last year? That of people no longer speaking to each other because of their political beliefs?

Yet, both sides were pissed about how the show did it.

It was at that point when I knew I could no longer label myself one way or the other. That I had to either go to the middle ground or become an outlier altogether. Instead of being liberal or conservative I instead want to align myself with the open-minded.

The real, truly open-minded. People who willing listen to all sides of an issue and can understand where all sides are coming from while still maintaining their own voice and opinions on the issue.

As this revelation came to me, so too did my guilt from the last 30+ years disappear and most importantly, my depression. I no longer feel dead inside.

Besides the obvious divisive political issues that the two parties constantly argue over, what came up for me once I released the label was an ability to better own my sexuality.

I believe that pleasure is an important element for a healthy existence. How one explores pleasure is up to the individual, but for me, with my background in feminism and liberalism, it has always been difficult to admit that I LIKE COCK. I enjoy spending time with men and with women and the beautiful people in between. I enjoy sex. And though so many liberals claim to be sex-positive, many define sex-positive in a very specific way.

A friend made a comment to me about how all the dudes on tinder just want to “get their carrots wet.” I had never heard anyone refer to a dick as a carrot. The next day I was at the Denver Central Market when I saw a basket full of the biggest carrots I had ever seen in my life. I told my date how excited I was to see such large carrots. He said he’d buy me one and I said if he did I would, “fuck that carrot.”

Suddenly there was the largest girthiest dildo-looking carrot in my hand. We continued on our date. It was evening by this point, we had both eaten an edible and were in bed together doing sexy things. The carrot was looking at us. I picked it up. I realized we hadn’t eaten in hours. I looked at the carrot. I looked at my date. I bit the tip of the carrot off.

Because sometimes you’re hungry for carrot and sometimes you’re hungry for dick and sometimes it’s funny to call a dick a carrot and then put it in your mouth.

If that carrot-dick opens up your throat chakra and then the edible keeps you up all night with thoughts on how you have to TELL THE WORLD YOU LOVE CARROTS then you might end up doing what I’m about to do for the next 30 days, which is tell you everything I know/think about politics and sex. It’s not a lot, hence why I’m doing it for 30 days (and also I have commitment issues). While I’m doing this I want to hear from you too. Comment, troll me if it gets you off. Let’s have a conversation about all of this. I can be wrong. I can be right. In the end, it doesn’t matter as long as we all are happy eating our carrots or peaches or whatever we like to stick in our mouths, which can be nothing at all too.

Go Eat A Carrot: The Beginning

Shedding her liberal label

Thanks for joining me!

Together we will go on an adventure into the truth. My truth. Your truth. How the truth changes.

I’ve decided to go ALL In. That is I’m going to give you my maximum truth and I want you to tell me yours, that way we can learn and grow together.

About a week ago I decided to shed my liberal label. No longer will I align with any side. Instead, I choose to be open to the possibilities. I’m here to talk and to listen. I am here to be right and wrong and maybe to somehow be right and wrong at the same time.

Here’s what I currently believe.

I believe people should be open to all perspectives while maintaining their own integrity and voice.

I believe people should enjoy the pleasures in life. If you want to have sex–have sex. If you like dick–eat more dick. If you like pussy–eat more pussy. If you like getting high and eating carrots then go eat a fucking carrot.

Shedding her liberal label
Krystal finds love and a carrot.

Shed your guilt.

Embrace the truth of who you are.

I’ve studied sexuality and relationships in school. I’ve worked at a sex toy store. I’ve gone on hundreds of tinder dates and had sex with pretty close to that same number of people. I am an expert slut–and yet I know next to nothing. The world is vast and full of so much information. But I’ll tell you I never felt freer than the moment I admitted that I liked to suck cock and could no longer align myself with the guilt of the liberal agenda.

This does not mean I am now a Republican or Conservative or Libertarian or any of that. The only thing I am is open.

Open to learn. Open to talk candidly about sex, politics, and everything & anything else I feel like talking because I’m so fucking over it.

For the next 30 days, I’m going to post at least one video a day. Somedays I may post a fuck ton. Some days I may post a video about not posting a video. Somedays I’ll have makeup on my face, other days I will not. Some days I’ll be profound and some days I’ll be stupid.

I will offend everyone at least once. Please call me out. I am not afraid of your opinion. If you get off on trolling people, troll away. I am not scared of trolls. In fact, I used to collect trolls when I was a child; the more trolls the better. Troll-on trolls. And also, fuck you.

For the last 15+ years, I’ve felt dead inside. It was only when I decided to say everything I thought because I had nothing left to lose that I finally felt alive again.

So here are my thoughts. Somethings are the truth. Other things are just my truth and the truth changes. It’s OKAY to change your mind. It’s OKAY to be wrong.

And with that. Let us carry on and begin.

The Truth Hurts. The Truth Will Set You Free. Blah Blah. Go Eat a Carrot.