Thirsty Thursday: Ode to the Gravel Road

The Simple Man’s Drink of Choice

Or

What to Take to Drank on a Country Cruise

Today is my last day visiting my family in Kansas. I’ll be heading back mid-morning in a probably futile attempt to avoid Denver traffic (yes I am laughing out loud at the idea of that right now). It’s been hot. It’s been humid. Hot and humid is a breeding ground for thirst.

Since it is Thirsty Thursday and I am back home, I thought it would be appropriate to dedicate this week’s drink to one of my favorite activities in the area, country cruisin.

If you’re unfamiliar it’s exactly what it sounds like. You get in a vehicle, preferably a large truck and you drive around aimlessly.

It can be a family activity.

It can be a friend activity.

It can be a romantic activity.

For example, I remember in High School I used to drive my friends around so they could make out in the back seat, because that’s the type of good friend that I am (you’re welcome, Mary).

Is there drinking involved in this activity? I don’t know. I couldn’t say. Could be that people go walking around the gravel roads to just strategically place beer cans in the ditches to add shine and pizzazz to the gravel, who can really say?!

If drinking were involved, at least with the people not driving, I’d imagine that those people would drink really cheap beer.

Probably something like Busch Light, Natural Light, Coors Light, Bud Light.

Or again, maybe people just buy these 30-packs to water their fields and then leave the cans on the side of the road as an offering to the field gods. Who can really say?!

Regardless. I call this Thirsty Thursday Drink Recipe: Ode to the Gravel Road

Ingredients:
My dad’s favorite beer: Coors Light

Supplies:
Foam Koozie

Instructions:
Take the Coors Light, put in the Foam Koozie. Drink up, beotches! “Walk” down the gravel road and place it strategically halfway between the ditch and halfway on the rocks. Let those cans shine bright!

Cheers.

See you back in Denver (after I drive a many miles along the gravel roads).

Does anyone have one of these fancy coolers? And do you like it? You can click on it to order one, though I have not that kind of money myself. . .

YETI Tundra 45

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The First Steps to Better Kissing

how to kiss better

How to Mouth-to-Mouth

Or

Improve Your Kissing With These Techniques

Today is International Kissing Day. I’m not sure if it means we’re supposed to go out there and kiss people from a country other than our own or if everyone in the world is supposed to make-out with each other or what the deal is but I will say, what a great made-up holiday.

Is there an International Cunnilingus Day? How about an International Fellatio Day? If there isn’t there will be soon I’m sure.

Initially, I wanted to explore different styles of kissing, you know, french kissing, Eskimo kissing, Czechoslovakian peaceful dissolution kissing (your cold lips part ways but you’ll never forget the bond you had together), but I realized that before we can even go there we need to begin at the beginning.

Here’s the deal. If you want to be a good kisser you have to work at it.

Just like you’d lift weights to get stronger arms or go running to increase endurance if you want to be a good kisser (and good at oral sex) you should get your tongue and mouth in shape.

How can you tell how good of shape your tongue is in already?

Here’s a simple test.

Stick out your tongue in a straight line, now try to touch the corner edge of your mouth with just the tip. Did you make it? Did you hit any other part of your lip along the way? If you did, it’s weak. If you didn’t you’re in better shape but you can still always do more mouth work.

Watch this video for a couple of tongue and mouth exercises you can do to help strengthen your kissing (and oral sex) game.

P.S. Try not to over-exercise your tongue and mouth, you want to have strength, flexibility, suppleness. If you over-do it your tongue/mouth will be rigid, hard, and dry and no one likes kissing mouth-sticks.

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