Thirsty Thursday: Whiskey Drinking Problems Blues

woman with the blues drinking whiskey

Sometimes a glass of bourbon is exactly what the doctor ordered

Or

Bulleit Bourbon Whiskey to the Rescue

Alright, world. Here’s the deal. I met someone. We hit it off. Then it got rather turbulent and we are currently on a break.

I haven’t been talking about it because I am not sure if I’m even seeing all of the events from the past couple of months that clearly.

I met this thoughtful and kind man at an after-hours party a few months ago. A big group of us left the after-hours party and continued to party well into the next afternoon. Queens and queers and freaks and weirdos were all gathered at my house. We drank every last drop of alcohol we had here and then we went and got more. We raged.

That kind of raging was fun.

The other kind of rage, not so much.

Turns out the guy that I really got into has an even bigger temper than me. This is saying a lot. If you’ve followed any of my past writing you might recall that I’ve done a lot of work trying to overcome my anger (you can even read all about it in the article I wrote titled, Republicans, Rapists, Real Women: How I’m Reprogramming Anger).

We’re both fire. Short-fused. Competitive.

Of course, we’re also both thoughtful, compassionate, kind (he maybe more so on the last trait).

A series of anger-induced incidents was the last straw for me.

I can’t handle feeling powerless. I can’t handle always being on the defensive. I can’t handle being one-up’ed every single time I ever tell a story. It becomes exhausting.

 

He’s told me that he loves me. He’s told me I’m his world. Yet, how can I let someone in that can turn on a dime and act out irrationally at random intervals?

Believe me, I know I am not perfect. I am cranky (particularly in the morning). I am stubborn. I suffer from resting bitch face.

I’m also weird. I read a lot, which doesn’t necessarily make me smart but it makes me smarter than I used to be. I have the sense of humor of a thirteen-year-old boy. I take pics with over-sized phallic-shaped foods on a regular basis. I don’t shower as much as I probably should. I can compartmentalize. I can be cold. I can be the life of the party or not want to be around anyone at all.

So yes, it takes a strong soul to handle me.

I also can only handle so much myself and what I cannot tolerate are unnecessary outbursts, temper tantrums, failing to communicate both the logistics of specific situations as well as feelings etc. connected to them.

No one should be in a relationship where they fear how the other person will respond or fear how they could snap at something small at any moment. If you can’t handle little issues then the big ones are going to be hella hard.

So this Thirsty Thursday, I drink a drink to honor all that we had and all that we could have. I’m not giving up completely, but I am distancing myself to better understand my own needs/wants/desires while he does the same. Anger is an energy and when put to proper use it can help change the world for the better, but if it’s anger that reveals itself as unnecessary rage, well that just hurts the entire world and all the people directly (and indirectly) who witness it.

May you quench your thirst on this Thursday and every other day. Thanks for reading my love life update, now go eat a carrot already!

Fifty Shades Freed Official Collection

Want to help me through this rough time? I enjoy gifts. Feel free to send me something special from my Amazon Wish List.

Or Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon (and see my real life boobies!)

You can also follow me on all the Social Media:

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Advertisements

Masturbation Monday: More Than Two Book Review

more than two an ethical guide to polyamory

A Review of More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory

Or

Can Non-Monogamy Work and Can Any Book Actually Help People Get There?

First of all, let’s get this out of the way. I started exploring the concepts of non-monogamy, polyamory, and open relationships many years ago. You can read a plethora of articles on these topics from when I wrote for elephant journal way back in the day.

At this point in my life I can not claim to be polyamorous nor can I claim to be monogamous.

I am somewhere in the middle.

Recently, I even had a boyfriend for all of about ten days; we had made an agreement that we could still have random casual sex on occasion and that we could also explore group sex together if that sort of event became available. Unfortunately, we never got to that point before some incidents occurred in which we are now in different time-out corners (perhaps I’ll go into this a bit more after I’ve had more time to process it).

Anyway, I know quite a few polyamorous people and as someone who is trying to create my own relationship scripts, it’s interesting to see what and how other people do romantic and intimate relationships.

More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory is one of those poly-classic books. There are people who live by its every word; people who take certain parts and apply those; and some people who disregard all the information in it entirely.

I started reading it over ten weeks ago. I am pissed about how long it took me to get through to be perfectly honest. Mostly, because I had started the year attempting to read a book a week and now I am ten books behind. I won’t blame it entirely on the book itself. The summer heat didn’t help. Nor did my budding romance.

So here we are now, finally.

What did I think?

Is it worth the read?

Would I recommend it to polyamorous beginners?

What about non-poly people?

Yes and no to all of that.

The book is broken into five parts. Regardless of whether you’re non-monogamous, open, closed, polyamorous, gay, straight, pansexual, etc. I believe that everyone should at least read Part Two: A Poly Toolkit. This section is all about understanding the self, diving deeper into the art of communication, and living with integrity.

The authors (Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert) make many excellent points in this section of the book that resonate with improving any and all types of relationships.

What I’ve learned through my own experiences is that it doesn’t matter if you’re dating one person or 10; if you have weak communication skills you’re going to have weak relationships.

Communicating well is not easy either. I surely have plenty of work to do, but I’m at least acknowledging where I’m at; I can see the gaps. I can admit I’m not close to being perfect. More Than Two goes into communication failures and strategies + additional resources to help people continue to work on it.

If you are a polyamory beginner the book does offer decent information on many of the issues that are likely to arise. Personally, I think it’s a bit long and would recommend reading over the sections when you come to it in your reality as opposed to trying to cram all the information in your brain at once.

There are elements of polyamory that I am drawn to, such as creating a community of intimate friends, writing our own scripts of how relationships can work; sharing joy and love and dinner (clearly I’m hungry right now). But there are plenty of other things I am not drawn to; like the drama; all the talking and talking and talking; and the super-packed schedules trying to fit everyone in when there are only so many days in a week.

Perhaps I’m just a bit bitter right now because I’m having my own personal issues happening that are leaving me exhausted. Like, I can’t even get one relationship to work right, the thought of adding more to the pile makes me want to go live like a hermit in a cave somewhere far away. And you know, someone did write about a guy who did that, you can read my review of The Stranger in the Woods: The Extraordinary Story of the Last True Hermit on my other blog here.

What are your thoughts on More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory and / or polyamory in general. Comment below or send me an email to discuss in more depth!

Buy your own copy of  More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory here.

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook