Gluten-Free Baked Cheese and Pickle Chips

keto pickle chips

A Healthier Chip? Prob Not Technically. 

If you ever felt like you wanted to know more about me the first thing I’d tell you is that I’m really into pickles…. I suppose that is pretty obvious considering I am the creator of the Phallic Food Cookbook. BUT! This is the part of the blog that I’m supposed to write something about my relationship to food so there you have it, I love pickles. I love all kinds of pickles, I am not one of those people who only like DILL, I find that to be ridiculous, give me a good bread & better, a spicy garlic, a curry cayenne, I really don’t care, as long as it’s crisp, clean, delicious. 

There was a time when I was trying to be more keto-friendly with my diet. I had to go on stage and take off my dress in front of like 90 people from around my hometown every night for 6 nights, so I was trying to like, tone up, which meant I had to quit eating potato chips (my guilty snack pleasure). I found a recipe similar to this on someone’s facebook page and adapted it. I adapted in the sense that I used my mother’s homepage bread and butter pickles and I perhaps added way too much cheese. 

These cheese and pickle chips are pretty weird, I’ll admit to that. They’re okay. They grow on you. I don’t really know how else to say that they’re worth trying but aren’t like the best food you’ll ever have in your life. IDK maybe a different combination would work better than the one I tried. Let me know if you find a good combo! 

I made a batch on a flat sheet and a batch in a muffin tin, the flat sheet makes them crunchier which I preferred but the muffin tin makes them thicker, which some of my food samplers said they liked better.

Gluten-Free Baked Cheese and Pickle Chips Recipe

What You Need:

  • A dozen of your favorite pickle round slices
  • Your favorite shredded Cheese

What You Do:

  • Preheat oven to 425 degrees
  • Spray nonstick spray on oven pan or muffin tin
  • Sprinkle 12 circles of cheese on pan or muffin tin
  • Pat dry pickles on both sides
  • Place on top of cheese
  • Sprinkle more cheese on top of pickle
  • Bake for like 15 minutes 
  • Enjoy!

Loving what you’re getting so far? Get other Phallic Food diet recipes. Including more like the Gluten-Free Tuna Cucumber Sandwiches.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Want to listen to my interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits? Find it on the Chubstep Podcast here.

Gluten-Free Tuna and Cucumber Sandwiches

gluten free keto easy recipes

An Easy Way to Get More Cucumbers in Your Mouth

Whether you’re looking for an easy to make light lunch or dinner idea or you are craving an afternoon snack, these gluten-free tuna and cucumber sandwiches hit the spot. Not only are the incredibly simple to make, they are healthy and delicious too. 

Everyone makes their tuna salad differently, I usually just throw together whatever I have in the fridge to make it work, as seen below with the use of the pickle relish. Feel free to do it up however you like, this is just an example. Certainly any type of protein + salad would work here, chicken, egg, tuna, etc. 

These cucumbers came directly from my parents garden, which I suppose you could say I did as well. Certainly I’ll be around a lot longer though and if you were thinking about eating me I’d prefer you leave any knives out of the equation.  Anyhoo I’ll spare you any more writing and get straight to the recipe.

Gluten-Free Tuna and Cucumber Sandwiches Recipe

What You Need:

  • ½ to 1 cucumber 

Tuna Salad:

  • 2 cans of tuna
  • 3 to 4 tablespoons of mayo
  • 1 teaspoon yellow mustard
  • Either half of stalk of celery chopped OR I used a spoonful of sweet pickle relish
  • Garlic powder, salt, & pepper to taste
  • A pinch of cayenne 

What You Do:

  1. Make the tuna salad by combining all the ingredients in a bowl, chill if so desired.
  2. Peel (if so desired) and slice the cucumber into rounds.
  3. Put a spoonful of the tuna salad on top of one slice of cucumber and top with another.
  4. Make as many as you desire to eat.

Ta-Da! It’s that easy. Crisp, delicious, and healthy. Also, it’s gluten-free as far as I know, and it’s probably keto or paleo but honestly I can’t keep up with what’s what. What I do know is that it is part of THE PHALLIC FOOD DIET and thus it’s here for you whenever you need it (or want it).

Loving what you’re getting so far? Get other Phallic Food diet recipes. Including more like The Reno Footlong Kielbasa Featuring special guest, Cooking with Julien.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Want to listen to my interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits? Find it on the Chubstep Podcast here.

Banana Pancakes with Blue Balls and Nuts

pancakes made with bananas

A slightly healthier pancake option 

I had heard about pancakes made with bananas before but something about it always seemed kind of gross to me. Probably because it took me 33 years to be able to eat bananas at all. The thought of bananas smoothed out and then cooked wasn’t that appealing. BUT, I decided to give banana pancakes a whirl and I was pleasantly surprised. They have all the classic pancake traits, fluffy, moist, sweet, but with just a slight banana flavor. I think the blueberries, pecans, and syrup really help to layer on the flavor and texture. 

If you have extra bananas sitting around on the verge of turning, this is a great way to use them. Quick and simple and they don’t even use flour, so you gluten-free freaks may rejoice!

The blueberries and nuts are optional and you can substitute any other topping or none at all if you so desire. You can also double or triple the batch if you have more people to feed. This recipe is ideal for two people (or two meals) or if you’re cooking a whole breakfast spread, these make a nice addition. 

Your mouth deserves this banana pancake delight. 

Banana Pancakes with Blue Balls and Nuts Recipe

What You Need:

  • 1 cup rolled oats 
  • 2 medium bananas,  peeled
  • ¼ cup milk of choice 
  • 1 tablespoon of honey
  • A pinch salt
  • A handful of blueberries
  • A handful of pecans 

What You Do:

  • Heat a well-greased large skillet or griddle to medium high. 
  • Put the oats, bananas, milk, honey and salt in a blender and blend up smoothish. 
  • Pour batter with ladle into small rounds onto the greased skillet. 
  • Drop a couple of pecans and/or blueberries on top. 
  • The pancakes will start creating air pocket bubbles to help you know they are cooked on the bottom. The spatula should easily slide under the pancake when ready to flip (around 2 minutes)
  • Once flipped over, cook an additional minute. (This recipe makes about 8 small pancakes.)  
  • I topped mine with a sugar-free pecan syrup and more blueberries and pecans. Obviously do it your way.  

Enjoy!

I hope you loved BANANA MONTH!  For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including even more Banana Fun check out my Basic Bitch Banana Bread with a Phallic Diet Twist here.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here