The Ex Text and Mercury Retrograde

ex texts and mercury retrograde

What To Do When the Ex Texts During Mercury Retrograde

Or Anytime Really

Scrolling Instagram the other day I saw a meme that said something along the lines of ‘mercury retrograde is the pumpkin spiced latte of astrology.’ I agree. It’s probably the most talked about of retogrades that happen and admittedly often those sentences come out of yuppie white basic bitches. The ones that like pumpkin spiced lattes.

Here’s the thing though, Mercury Retrograde does not have to be some sort of dreaded regular occurrence nor does it have to be an excuse for shitty things that happen.

Sure, you can use it as an excuse, I certainly have and I have certainly had a pumpkin spiced latte, does that mean I LIKE pumpkin spiced lattes–not particularly, but I am only two parts of the ‘yuppie white basic bitch’ so there’s that (I’ll let you figure out the two).

WTF is mercury retrograde and what does it supposedly do?

Mercury takes 88 days to do one revolution around the sun. Mercury moves into retrograde three times a year anytime between 19 and 24 days. It appears to move backward, though the planet does not actually move backward.

We’re almost through the most recent Mercury retrograde which goes from March 5th to March 28th.

Here’s some shit that often goes down during mercury retrograde:

  • Communication sucks–mistakes & misunderstandings seem to enhance
  • Technology sucks — shit breaks down more often, computers crash, stop lights stop stopping, zippers stop zipping etc.
  • People from the past RETURN

In Mercury retrograde it’s advised to not sign new contracts or begin new projects, to be patient with technology and travel.

What should you do during Mercury retrograde then?

Oh, you’re not going to like this one: inner work.

That’s right.

See the reason why the exes return so often during Mercury retrograde is that it’s a time for self-reflection. It’s a time to review the past and release the bullshit. End the old cycles so you can open up to new possibilities.

Still skeptical that it’s not a real thing? Alright. Well, in the last 10 ish days I’ve been contacted by nine people from my past. And when I say nine people — I’m talking ex-boyfriends, ex-flings, ex-lovers, ex-work-husbands, exe all around. NINE.

If that’s not enough to prove anything, I got a call from my friend-with-benefits who informed me that for the last few days he’d been talking with his ex. That he had decided he might, maybe, get back with her.

I cracked up laughing the moment I heard it.

Mostly because I had had nine people from my past already reappear and knew it was in the air, but also because it was almost the exact same storyline that happened to me during the last spring Mercury retrograde. I wasn’t going to let that story turn into a pattern so I said boy, bye, and good luck with your ex.

I’m not going to say it won’t work out with an ex, but here is what I’m going to say.

When you contact an ex or they contact you I’d suggest taking some time to do that whole review process thing. Write down what it was that attracted you, what repulsed you, why did it end? What can you do to find the good things in someone else who doesn’t possess the bad things that made the end happen?

For example, I’d like to find someone who can challenge me intellectually but not manipulate or gaslight me. What an idea!

I could keep going with this but you get the gist.

Broad City Collection

Have people from your past returned recently? How did you handle it? Are you currently texting your ex? You better hope Mercury retrograde fucks with your phone if you are because you don’t need to add that extra drama to your life. Get out a journal and write the stuff down, don’t dredge them through the muck of it with you again.

Help! What Would You Do? Ex Texts. Now What?

ex text situation

Give Me Your Thoughts on the Ex Text Scenario

or

Does It Matter If You Still Like The Person?

What would you do if someone who ended a relationship with you started texting you again?

  1. Ignore or Ghost?
  2. Tell person to leave you the fuck alone?
  3. Respond Kindly?
  4. Respond like the weird person you are inside?

Also to clarify, the person texting me is not technically an ex because we were never officially anything and at this point we never will be. I did like him, but he ruined it by his abrupt change of mind and I can’t really think of any way he could ever make up for that. No amount of burritos could ever repair that hole.

As I said before, I did learn so much from our short time together. Mainly that I don’t have to take other people’s shit who don’t get me at the core of who I am.  I never thought it would include him, but now it does.

I’ve also been contemplating whether or not I fall for people too fast. It seems like I often find qualities about a person I enjoy and then because I don’t want to be wrong about my initial response I lie to myself and deny the shit qualities that surface over time. There is nothing wrong with accepting people just as they are… but just because you accept them as they are it does not mean you have to spend time with them or have them in your life.

I do wish all my exes the best of luck with love and life in general, even that one dickhead who tried to accuse me of giving him an STI when he had just been wanking off too much and rubbed himself raw. I even hope that that asshole learns how to not be such an asshole so other people can enjoy being around him.

P.S.

Even though I am a slut, I get tested every 3 to 4 months. My last test was April 11th, 2018. Yes, just a few days ago. Because if you’re going to be a slut you should try to be as ethical about it as possible.  

Bonus!

This bunny is harder than it looks! There is something satisfying yet also sad when the head of the bunny disappears via the eating of the head of the bunny.

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