Thirsty Thursday: Ode to the Gravel Road

The Simple Man’s Drink of Choice

Or

What to Take to Drank on a Country Cruise

Today is my last day visiting my family in Kansas. I’ll be heading back mid-morning in a probably futile attempt to avoid Denver traffic (yes I am laughing out loud at the idea of that right now). It’s been hot. It’s been humid. Hot and humid is a breeding ground for thirst.

Since it is Thirsty Thursday and I am back home, I thought it would be appropriate to dedicate this week’s drink to one of my favorite activities in the area, country cruisin.

If you’re unfamiliar it’s exactly what it sounds like. You get in a vehicle, preferably a large truck and you drive around aimlessly.

It can be a family activity.

It can be a friend activity.

It can be a romantic activity.

For example, I remember in High School I used to drive my friends around so they could make out in the back seat, because that’s the type of good friend that I am (you’re welcome, Mary).

Is there drinking involved in this activity? I don’t know. I couldn’t say. Could be that people go walking around the gravel roads to just strategically place beer cans in the ditches to add shine and pizzazz to the gravel, who can really say?!

If drinking were involved, at least with the people not driving, I’d imagine that those people would drink really cheap beer.

Probably something like Busch Light, Natural Light, Coors Light, Bud Light.

Or again, maybe people just buy these 30-packs to water their fields and then leave the cans on the side of the road as an offering to the field gods. Who can really say?!

Regardless. I call this Thirsty Thursday Drink Recipe: Ode to the Gravel Road

Ingredients:
My dad’s favorite beer: Coors Light

Supplies:
Foam Koozie

Instructions:
Take the Coors Light, put in the Foam Koozie. Drink up, beotches! “Walk” down the gravel road and place it strategically halfway between the ditch and halfway on the rocks. Let those cans shine bright!

Cheers.

See you back in Denver (after I drive a many miles along the gravel roads).

Does anyone have one of these fancy coolers? And do you like it? You can click on it to order one, though I have not that kind of money myself. . .

YETI Tundra 45

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Advertisements

Thirsty Thursday: Drinking That Anal Juice

anal juice recipe

It’s Anal August, Get It

or

Drink Up That Anal Juice

It’s already August. Can you believe we’ve made it through half of summer already?

August is as good of a time as any for ANAL sex.

Show of fingers, how many have experienced anal before?

All of them? Wow, you dirty dirty slut-fingers.

Male Sex Toys 728X90

How many of you thirsty mother fuckers actually crave anal sex? Well, today, I’m making a drink for you called Anal Juice. Inspired by anal sex gone wrong.

Here’s the deal. When you have anal sex you MUST use some sort of lube. It’s the number one rule for sticking it in the butt. Yes, relaxing into it, being receptive, easing in, those are all fine things to remember to do when someone is about to go in deep in your anus but really truly make sure you lube it down.

If you do not lube it down you could end up tearing part of your anal hole which could turn to anal leakage which could turn to incontinence which could turn to anal juice.

That’s like your butthole leaking uncontrollably.

So in honor of lube-less anal sex, I’ve concockted this very special summer cocktail recipe.

Anal Juice Cocktail Recipe

Ingredients

1-2 shots Whiskey
½ Lemon Juice
Blood Orange Ginger Beer

Directions
Dump the first two ingredients in a glass, top with ice. Unload the blood orange ginger beer on top. Drink up. Enjoy!

And be sure that when you do the what what in the butt butt you use the lube lube. Get some here, you freaks.

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo