Hot Dogs in a Pickle

Trade Your Soggy White Buns for This Juicy Tart Alternative

While I was eating these hot dogs in a pickle, the guy who has been upgrading my internet came to the door to check and make sure it was still working. He was like, ‘oh, guess I caught you eating.’ And I was like, ‘I’m always eating so that’s a likely scenario.’ Anyway, I was telling my friend about how weird it was to have a guy walk in your house while you’re shoving a hot dog stuffed into a pickle into your mouth and he said to me, ‘always make eye contact while eating phallic shaped foods in front of other people’ and I really regret not being weirder when I opened the door.

But… I really need the internet to get the word out to all of your about the Phallic Food Diet so I suppose it was a good thing not to creep out my internet guy too much.

Anyhoo. This recipe is so simple I didn’t really know what to talk about. You literally just cut open a pickle and put hot dog in it. I jizzed it up a bit you know, so it would be more like a recipe. Go as simple or as fancy as you please.

I’m all for replacing buns with pickles, but I will say it’s pretty fucking messy when you’re eating–so bring your own bib.

Hot Dogs in a Pickle Recipe

What You Need:

  • ½ Cup Cream Cheese
  • ½ cup white cheddar cheese
  • ½ teaspoon garlic powder
  • ¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • Salt & pepper to taste
  • 4 large whole pickles
  • Mayo, Mustard, sauerkraut, or horseradish to Drizzle

What You Do:

  1. Make Cream Spread. Stir and combine the cream cheese, cheese, and seasonings in a bowl. 
  2. Cook hot dogs based on package direction or your personal preference. 
  3. Slice triangle out of whole pickle to make slot for hotdog (essentially cut a ¼ of it out without cutting in half).
  4. Slather cream cheese mix on pickle.
  5. Slide in the hot dog.
  6. Top with a drizzle or dollop of either mayo, mustard, sauerkraut, or horseradish. 

Enjoy

Are you getting all you can get from the Phallic Food diet? This was the final recipe from HOT DOG MONTH Check out The Reno Footlong Kielbasa Featuring special guest, Cooking with Julien for more where that came from.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Want to listen to my interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits? Find it on the Chubstep Podcast here.

The Reno Footlong Kielbasa Featuring Cooking with Julien

Onion Rings on Your Footlong? If You Insist…

Hot Dog Month continues with featured guest Cooking with Julien. This footlong Kielbasa is inspired by all things Reno, where self-taught chef and entrepreneur Julien now resides. Inspired by both the nondescript onion (native to the state) to the more risqué side of Nevada (and also, let’s face it, native to the state)–legalized prostitution– he has created the Reno Footlong. 

He said of this creation, “The dog is all over the place, because that’s how the people are up here.”  

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’d certainly eat an onion right off a footlong kielbasa. 

Would I pay to do it? Well, I’m not in Nevada, so no. 

But I digress. 

The Reno FootLong Kielbasa Recipe 

What You Need:

  • Kielbasa footlong sausage
  • onion rings (frozen or homemade)
  • onion 
  • tomatoes 
  • jalapeños 
  • relish 
  • mustard 
  • Mayo
  • baguette

What You Do:

  1. Bake or fry your onion rings
  2. Dice your onion and tomatoes
  3. Cook or grill your footlong kielbasa by your preferred method
  4. Lightly toast your baguette (or don’t!)
  5. Spread mayo and mustard on the baguette
  6. Slide the footlong kielbasa into the warm bread
  7. Top with diced onions, tomatoes, relish, and jalapeños
  8. Finish off with onions rings 
  9. Shove in mouth
  10. Enjoy 

Want to check out more of the amazing food coming out of Cooking with Julien’s kitchen? Check out his Instagram here

Get more Phallic Food diet recipes. Including more from Hot Dog Month with special guest, Chubstep’s Chicago Style Phallic Hot Dog with Cumback Sauce.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Want to listen to my interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits? Find it on the Chubstep Podcast here.