Tits Out Tuesday: Video Games and Sexuality

cosplay mario from nintendo woman

Why Are So Many Men Into Female Gamers?

or

Gaming and Sexual Arousal Amongst Winners

Yesterday I ended up at a thrift store, while I was in said thrift store I happened upon this Mario Halloween costume. It was only $7. Even though it’s a size small and I am not a size small I had to get it anyway.

As many of you know from following my blog I have a Mario/Luigi/Princess Peach threesome fantasy. I had just said to my friend who was with me (prior to finding the costume) that if I had to pick between going as any of the three I’d want to be Mario because he’s the one I like the least. If I’m Mario then I don’t have to look at Mario.

Then the costume magically appeared before my eyes.


WSSHA Halloween Women’s Cosplay Super Mario Costume Dress

Does this mean I will find a Luigi / Princess Peach combo while I’m out and about? It seems possible. It seems probable. Why else would the costume randomly show up right after I mentioned it?

In any event, it’s gotten me thinking about sexuality and the gaming culture.

Anyone else find it fascinating how many (hetero) men are into female gamers and how many females are not into dudes who play video games all the time?

There are (hetero) women in the world who will refuse to date guys who play video games; they see it as a major red flag. They think the guy will never grow up, or get off the couch, or pay attention to them.

Those are all valid points.

I’d imagine that a lot of these women have experienced those issues in the past and prefer not to repeat them.

It seems pretty obvious that men are into female gamers because it gives them something to bond over, to enjoy doing together, talking about etc.

Not to mention the fact that competition and winning can often lead to both increases in adrenaline and arousal.

Nintendo Switch – Neon Red and Neon Blue Joy-Con

I’m classically trained in Nintendo and Super Nintendo. I will destroy any person at Super Mario 3 or Paperboy, but put one of those new shooter games in front of me and I die within seconds.

I stopped playing right around puberty. I think for me it came down to prioritizing my time. I was playing real-life games aka basketball, volleyball, softball. I lost touch with the advancements in video game technology. My skills were stunted.

It’s weird because I would totally play now except I’ve tried and I suck. Here’s the deal with me, I don’t like losing. I don’t like being bad at something. When a guy tries to get me to play I know I will not be very successful and I hate the idea of failing in front of other people.

I’m the type that would secretly invest in a gaming system, learn how to defeat the entire thing and THEN go to the guy’s house and demolish him.


PlayStation 4 Pro 1TB Console

But, I don’t have the time or money for that. So instead I need to overcome my ego and learn to lose in front of others. It’s the best way to get better at something, you know, just trying to do it.

And that my friends is also a good way to approach dating. You’re not going to win them all. Sometimes you might get hit by a flying turtle within the first minute and be out right away. Other times you might make it all the way to the battle against Bowser and end up with the Princess in the end. Or perhaps, the princess will end up saving your ass. Only time and trial and error will work.

In the meantime, play on my friends, play on.

(And if you happen to be dressing up as either Luigi or Princess Peach tomorrow, let me know, wink wink.)

 
Morph Super Mario Luigi Wario and Waluigi Halloween Costume Also Available in Inflatable and Piggyback

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Weird Sex Wednesday: Cosplay and Fantasy Role Play

sexy costumes for halloween

Sexy Costumes for Halloween and Fantasy Role Play

or

Cosplay Costumes For Better Sex

Halloween is my favorite time of the year. I love being able to dress up and be someone else for a night. Sometimes it’s nice to not have to be yourself, you know? Another wonderful thing about Halloween season is how easy it makes it to participate in cosplay events or fantasy role-playing.

Typically on Halloween, I end up hooking up with someone, though it usually doesn’t make sense. Like, what is a sloth doing with a sexy cop? Or why is Mia Wallace making out with a vampire? It’s kind of hilarious when you think about all the mix-matched characters having the sex with each other.

#sexyisnotasize

My favorite Halloween hook-up was way back when I lived in Boulder, went to this weird DIY party, somehow a priest, a dude dressed like a bunch of grapes, a cat?, and Courtney Love all ended up together alone at some house. I do not recall exactly what went down. I know that the Grapes disappeared. And I know that the two guys, the priest and the ca? did some stuff, but most importantly you all, I know that Courtney Love made the priest puke all over the floor. Turns out to be a talent of hers and something that would make really good reality tv. Was it the sexiest cosplay fantasy shit to ever go down? Absolutely not, but it was hilarious and sometimes that’s better anyway.

If you are trying to have a sexy cosplay fantasy role play Halloween extravaganza, well then, let me suggest my top three sexy costumes for sexy time.

Or if I were to choose who I was going to have a threesome or whatever with while in costume, here’s what I’d choose.

Or my top three sexy couples costumes + bonus characters if you’re into threesomes.

1.

Mario + Luigi + Princess

I’m not sure why, but this one has always been at the top of my list. Must be something to do with playing Nintendo at such a young age for such a long time. Also, the Mario Brothers Movie was intense in this weirdly sexual / not sexual way. I need to watch it again to see if it’s still true.

Quesera Men’s Super Mario Costume Adult Cosplay Costume Mario Brothers Halloween Costume

Disguise Women’s Nintendo Super Mario Bros.Luigi Female Deluxe Costume

Leg Avenue Women’s Pink Princess Costume

2.

Buzz Lightyear + Woody + Jessie

Ever since I ran into Woody and Buzz at a bar one Halloween and they were both super hot and I was this close to getting them to have a threesome with me, I honestly can’t let it go. I don’t even care for the movie that much, just in real life it was really working.

Disney Disguise Women’s Pixar Toy Story Jessie Glam Costume

Toy Story Men’s Classic Buzz Lightyear costume

Disney Disguise Men’s Pixar Toy Story and Beyond Woody Adult Costume Kit

3.

Jon Snow + Khaleesi

I mean, duh. Do I have to go into why this would be hot? Pretty obvious I suppose but still, if you can pull it off you should def do it.

Light wavy blonde Khaleesi Daenerys Targaryen Wig Inspired by Game of Thrones Costume Cosplay Synthetic Hair

COSAUG Khaleesi Costume Dress Daenerys Targaryen Cosplay Blue for Halloween/Christmas

Jon Snow Wig Game of Thrones Costume and Stark Shield Pin – Cosplay Hair for Men

CosplayDiy Men’s Cosplay Suit for Game of Thrones VII Jon Snow Cosplay Costume

Or

Want to buy the sexy nurse outfit I’m wearing in the video?

It’s right here!

California Costumes Women’s Cardiac Arrest Costume

Weird Sex Wednesday: What Kind of Handcuffs to Buy for Kink Play?

handcuffs for kink play

Beginner BDSM: When You Want to Get Tied Up

Or

What Handcuffs to Use During Sexy Time

The first time I ever brought handcuffs into the bedroom I was in my mid-twenties. I had been with my then boyfriend for several years at that point and we both desired some way to spice it up. There is something quite gratifying and erotic about tying a person up and doing whatever you want to them, or vice versa (with consent of course). However, we made quite the mistake in our handcuff purchase. In fact, we knew very little at all about any sort of BDSM or kink stuff and kind of just guessed our way through it.

Sex Toys for him, for her, for both of you

We bought two metal handcuffs, like the kind police use when they’re not using those plastic zip-tie things they use now.

Though the metal handcuffs are aesthetically sexy they do two things you’re not going to like.

1. They damage the wrists. Because there’s always going to be a gap and you’re always going to squirm a bit the handcuffs are going to dig into your skin and bones and it’s not going to feel good. It’s not even going to be the type of pain that feels good, it’s just going to hurt.

2. They damage whatever you’re cuffing them to, in our case they put hundreds of scratches into the wooden frame of our bed. Not cool if you have a nice bed frame.

So what should you try instead?

If you’re just starting out and don’t want to invest a lot of money you can get a pretty cheap pair of pleather cuffs with fake fur on the inside. These work well enough and don’t hurt your wrists or your bed frame. If you have plenty of money then go for the leather ones.

I know some of you are thinking, can’t I just use some silk scarves or something?

Technically you could, but you have to make sure that you are knotting them correctly or something very similar to the metal cuff situation will happen. The person will squirm or tug at the material and the knot will get tighter and tighter until it cuts off all circulation and the wrist falls off. Just kidding. I’m sure you’d untie the person before the wrist fell off, but you get my point.

You can also try an under the bed restraint system. This uses the weight of the human body and bed itself to keep the restraints in place. It makes it so you can easily keep your kinky side hidden and works well if you have a frame you can’t really tie anything to or no frame at all. Plus you get ties for the feet and the hands so you can really tie the other person down.

Anyhoo here’s a link to some cuffs you can buy right off of Amazon.

Click Below to Buy Cuffs:

Strict Leather Premium Lockable Wrist Cuffs

Click Below to buy sexy cop outfit:

Secret Wishes Sexy Miss Demeanor Costume

Or click here to buy the Under the Bed Restraint System: 


Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System

Friday Feels: How to Stop Texting Your Ex

ways to keep from texting your ex

Put Your Phone Down, Hands Up, Step Away From The Device

or

No, Really, You Don’t Have to Text Your Ex Back!

We’ve all been there. Sober or drunk. Phone in hand. Lonely or sad or horny or whatever. We think, “But, what if?”

What if he’s different this time?
What if she really does miss me?
Could we get back together?
Are you saying there’s a chance?

So, we do it. We text the ex. Or the ex texts us.

It’s such a popular phenomenon that there are even Instagram accounts dedicated to this very unfolding.

There’s almost a rebellion against the self, against friends, against everything you know to be right. It’s naughty.

Unfortunately, it’s not naughty in the good way. It’s naughty in the ‘you need to go sit in a corner and think about what you did” type of way.

#sexyisnotasize

Honestly, I have no right to sit here and tell anyone else not to do it. I’ve done it so many times I’m surprised my phone didn’t hold its own rebellion against me and self-destruct.

Perhaps because I’m such a big fuck up in this department I’m the perfect person to suggest finding an alternative. Unless you’re the type that’s even more of a masochist than I am and you enjoy having your heart ripped out over and over again–it’s not a great move.

So, what can you do when the temptation to text your ex arises?

Here are 4 Methods to Keep You From Texting Your Ex

1.

The Block & Loaded

Do you have what it takes to utilize one of the easiest functions on your phone? Personally, I cannot do this. I probably should do this, but alas I am weak. You’ll save yourself a lot of stress if you simply block your ex’s number. Of course, you’ll also need to block your ex on all of your social media channels. Perfect for those with a backbone or for those looking to finally get one.

2.

Change The Name, Change The Name

Nothing says “Do Not Answer” better than “Do Not Answer.” Get in there and edit your ex’s name to something a bit more inspiring.

Here are some options:

POS Dirtbag
Probably Has Syphilis
If You Respond You Will Have 7 Years of Bad Luck
Just Say No
You Are a Strong Independent Individual Who Does Not Deserve This BS
You Can Do Better
She Doesn’t Love You Anymore
Love This Person From Afar
Never Gonna Get It
Liar Liar Pants on Fire
Cheatbag
Poo Poo Face

I mean, this list of possibilities goes on and on. Try it out, it’s fun!

3.

Hide and Seek

Ever heard of a digital detox? Well, now’s your chance to give it a whirl. Whenever you get the urge to interact with your ex and you know you shouldn’t perhaps it’s time to turn your phone off and put it in a drawer for an hour or two. Cool off. Read a book. Here’s a good one. Here’s another. Or you could clean your room. Or write in a journal. Or maybe just go to bed. I promise you will survive for an hour without your phone and you’ll definitely feel better the next day when you did not do the thing that you were almost tempted to do. (If you are out in public you can also hand it over to someone you trust for safekeeping.)

4.

Text Anyone But The Ex

I do this all the time. I’ll text my best friend and be like “I’m thinking about texting him. I have my PHONE in my hand. But hey, I’m texting you instead. Wyd?” Of course, my friends probably think I’m a dick when I do this because they were not my VERY FIRST THOUGHT but I also know that they know I am weak at heart. They understand. They are wonderful people. Remember who the actual wonderful people are in your life and text them. Maybe even call your mom back finally??!

Free delivery on all orders over $60

I know a lot of us are going through this struggle right now. You are strong. You are brave. You are beautiful and smart and funny. If someone broke your heart they don’t deserve you. Of course, if you’re the one doing the breaking, maybe leave that person alone so they can heal the wounds that you’ve caused. That’s really all you can do and should do if you really love them. (Unless of course you REALLY want them back then there’s an entirely different strategy you should employ and it does not involve texting– more on that later. Or you can read this article that gives some fun ideas but isn’t necessarily the BEST advice.)

Sliding Into My DMs Part 2

sexy nun reads instagram direct messages

Men Love Sliding Into My DMs

or

Some of Your Most Popular Sex Questions Answered

As many of you know I’ve not been able to upload YouTube videos for two weeks due to another strike on my account. It was my fault and I have done my time. Anyway here’s a video of me answering some of your most pressing direct messages.

P.S.

Try more than a “heyyy” . . . just saying.

men who slide into Direct messages

What do you do? I’m interested in your services if I think it’s what I’m thinking…
Can I pay you to have sex with me?

What a great question! Here’s the deal. It’s actually illegal in the United States to get paid to have sex with a person. I know, I know, there are plenty of people who do it and more power to them. Personally, I think sex work should be legalized. It would cut down on a lot of violence and sexual health issues because it would be better regulated. Plus, let’s take for a second to recognize all the people with disabilities, both physically and mentally that make it difficult for them to find partners. There’s nothing wrong with being a sexual being or paying to have sexual gratification. It’s not called the oldest profession for nothing. Legally though, I have to decline this offer. If you want to pay me for my time, totally different story, it’s called consulting.

when men have a question

Hey I have a question

Okay. Ask it.

older women interested in younger women

Do you like younger men?

I get asked this a lot. Like all the time. And as I’ve said many many times before age, race, gender, I don’t care about that. What I do care about is your personality. If you have a terrible personality I’m not going to want to have any sort of relations with you; I know this because I have gone out with and even slept with, plenty of people with terrible personalities and I’m trying to un-do, un-learn old bad habits and patterns.

men horny


What a man gotta do to get frisky??!

I’d suggest perhaps indulging in some aphrodisiacs–chocolate, oysters, avocado. Perhaps watch some softcore porn. Maybe go down a deep Instagram hole where you discover pics and videos of people doing things that make you feel sexy. I’m not really sure what most men do to get frisky, I guess I always assumed it came naturally to them, but I get that some people regardless of gender have a harder time getting turned on.

Thanks for the messages, everyone. As you can imagine I do not have time to answer them all, but I appreciate you trying anyway. Every once in a while there’s a chance that I could get back to you, either here or privately. Thanks for reading and watching and don’t forget to follow me on Patreon for more (and yes I mean for pics of my tits if that’s what you’re really looking for).

Weird Sex Wednesday: Having Sex Fantasies About Religious Leaders

sexy jesus, sexy nuns, sexy priests, sexy monks

Would You Fuck A Hot Nun?

or

What Is It That’s So Sexy About Certain Religious Figures?

Recently a fan follower sent me a sexy shirt (and bra + panties set) off of my Amazon wishlist. When it arrived and I put it on I was suddenly reminded of that scene in Bridget Jones Diary when Bridget shows up at the Tarts and Vicars party and no one else is dressed up like a tart or a vicar. Then she runs into an older woman wearing a frilly shirt like the one I’m wearing and say something like, “Oh I guess you didn’t get the memo either.” To which the woman replies, “Yes, I did!” Then runs off embarrassed.

Anyhoo. The shirt reminded me of that party fail and also it reminded me of another form of weird sex– sex with religious leaders.

Sex with priests. Sex with nuns. Sex with monks. Sex with Jesus. Sex with satan.

Or people dressed up like them.

Once I had a boyfriend who dressed up like a priest. I’m pretty sure that was the night a guy wearing a grape costume gave him some molly and we ended up having this weird threesome (but not with the grape guy, someone else?). Could have been a different Halloween though, who can really remember it all?

I’d definitely have sex with Jesus if given the opportunity. Have you seen those ab muscles, damn? Plus, he’s like God or the son of God or whatever you believe, so I bet he has some orgasmic moves.

I used to have a pretty strong fantasy about having sex with an Amish guy, but I don’t really think that fits in this same category.

Buy the same shirt for you or someone you love:

What do you think is the root of these fantasies? Do you think it’s because it’s just so so wrong? The forbidden fruit of spiritual sexuality.

I mean, how could not want to fuck a priest who looks like this?

sexy priest
Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me. – Priest from Exorcist TV Series

Anyhoo. Let me know in the comments below what your sexual religious fantasies (or perhaps actual actions) are!

(Talk about sinful sex.)

You can Buy your own sexy priest outfit (and have something ready to wear for Halloween) here:

Leg Avenue Priest Adult Men’s Costume

sexy jesus, sexy nuns, sexy priests, sexy monks
Namaste in bed with you?

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