How to Holiday Whiskey Cocktail: The Randy Reindeer


A Simple Cocktail that Will Knock Your Tail Off

It’s that time of the month again. No, not time for Aunt Flo to visit; time for whiskey flow to visit. I don’t know about you all but I’m pretty seasonal when it comes to the alcohol I’m drinking. I prefer whiskey in the late fall and winter. Whiskey warms you from the inside out. That’s why I’ve create the Randy Reindeer, a simple whiskey cocktail recipe that you can make in under a minute. You never know how quickly you might need a drink over the holiday season.

Your Sexiest Christmas Ever

Booze and the holiday season always reminds me of one special Christmas way back when I was a freshman in High School. This is a story that I only told me family about last year and they were drunk so they probably don’t remember it. In other words, if you happen to actually know my family, how about you keep your mouth shut about this one, okay?

Anyway. My mom’s favorite drink is a long island iced tea. Since her birthday is a few days before Christmas it is often the case that these are the holiday drink of choice for the adults partaking. During this one particular year, when I was about 15, my mom and grandma and maybe an aunt or two all made themselves these giant long island drinks. If you are unfamiliar a Long Island is all the clear liquors (gin, vodka, tequila, triple sec and rum) + sweet and sour + coca cola / pepsi. Well, this year they all started sipping on their drinks then they started snarling their noses.

“This taste watered down to you?”

“Yeah. You think the ice melted too fast or what?”

“Maybe. Something tastes off.”

“It’s definitely not the best one I’ve ever had.”

“No.”

Meanwhile, I’m sitting in the kitchen with them all trying really hard not to make any sort of facial signs to indicate my guilt. I wanted to both laugh and run out of the room at the same time in order to not get my ass kicked. You see, a month earlier I happened to switch out the vodka under my mom’s sink with water. I assumed no one would notice since the drinks are already so strong, but of course, I was young and dumb and wrong.

I let them drink their watered down drinks never saying a peep about it for over a decade.

This was of course way better than the time during another Christmas when my cousin and I got drunk while no one was looking and then when we were leaving my parents were like, “guess who’s driving home?! The sober teenager.” And looked at me. I can’t remember how I got out of that one exactly, but we’re all still here so I guess I did something right even though I’m so good at doing things all naughty like.

Just like Randi the Reindeer!

Get the Ugly Reindeer Holiday Sweater Here!

In honor of the erotic story about Randi the Reindeer that you can hear my read on Patreon tomorrow, here is the Randy Reindeer Whiskey cocktail drink.

The Randy Reindeer

1 shot of whiskey (I used Bulleit bourbon)

Fill with Apple Cider

Garnish with Cinnamon Stick and Carrot

(You can either go warm or cold with this drink so toss in some ice or use apple cider that’s already been warmed up.)

Drink up.

Get the Probably Whiskey mug here.

Cheers!

Here’s Randi the Reindeer Making the Drink on Camera

Thirsty yet?


Thirsty Thursday: How to Make the Good Vibes Razzzberry Nippler Cocktail

summer cocktail how to recipe and video

Happy Thirsty Thursday Summer Solstice Edition

or

Enjoy The Razzzberry Nippler Through Your Hottest Days

Watch the video for the How-To and to see me use interesting devices to muddle and “stir.”

Happy summer solstice! Today I created a drink you can keep drinking through the longest hottest days of the year. It’s crisp, light, and of course, refreshing.

This drink is dedicated to one of my favorite followers, who recently sent me a Hitachi that changed my entire world (and vibrated me into what could only be described as happiness). Watch to the near end of the video to see the Hitachi in motion.

Here’s the other thing. If you watch this how-to summer cocktail recipe video you’ll see that I use not one but two sex toys to assist in this concocktion. I believe that if you can make a pervertable from kitchen utensils you can reverse that and make sex toys into food & drink helpers as well.

Anyhoo. Here’s the How-To on the Razzzberry Nippler Summer Cocktail.

Razzzberry Nippler Ingredients:

4-6 raspberries
5ish leaves of mint
A dollop of ginger (from the pre-chopped container or like a ¼ an inch peeled and chopped fresh ginger)
The juice of ½ to 1 lime
2 shots tequila
Club soda
Ice

Cocktail Instructions:
Put raspberries, mint ginger, and lime in glass. Muddle with your favorite muddler. I like to use glass dildos but if you’re basic use a basic muddler. Add tequila.* Add ice. Top with club soda. Garnish with lime slice and raspberries.

*Can substitute with rum or whatever. Also… You might want to strain the seeds at this point. That’s all personal preference.

Cheers and happy drinking you thirsty fuckers!

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo

tantus cock rings
Make your carrot vibrate!

Thirsty Thursday Cocktail Recipe: Sexy Strawberry Blonde Ethical Slut Punch

summer cocktail recipe

Get Your Cocktail on Today for a Cocktale Tonight

Or

Discover If This Recipe Could Help You Get Laid

I’m a thirsty bitch. I mean that in pretty much every way. As you read or saw last week I talked all about how I’m proud to be thirsty.


{If you make it to the end of this 5-minute video you’ll see us both shake what our mommas’ gave us (you’re welcome).

As a thirsty bitch though, sometimes I get thirsty for more than just dick or pussy or attention. Sometimes I get thirsty for actual drank. Sometimes this girl needs a cocktail before she can carry on experiencing anymore cocktales.

Below is a recipe for my signature drink. Named after me, the sexy strawberry-blonde ethical slut.

This drink is WAY better than that stupid red-headed slut shot they serve at low-end college bars. Who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to mix jager with peach? Gag me with a ten-inch dick already… I mean really, gag me with a ten-inch dick… but no, do not ever order me a red-headed slut shot.

My signature drink is delicious just like me.

There’s some healthy sweet fruit all smashed at the bottom. Some lime for that tart and sass. Gin AND tequila because I go both ways. Triple sec because if you say it fast enough it sounds like triple sex, which makes me think of threesomes, which are my FAVORITE when it comes to the sex. MMF, FFM, FFF, any triple sex threesome thing is good with me. Ice because I can be cold, cool, and melt in your mouth. Then, of course, there’s the ginger beer since you all feel the need to call me a ginger all the time even though it’s debatable, but the ginger does add an extra kick and all that liquid helps calm down the hard hard liquor that’s getting all busy in the big ass glass already.

When it’s all mixed up make sure to use your reusable glass or metal straw–this is the ethical part of the drink. Think of it like a condom for your big ass glass. People are getting all butthurt about plastic straws at bars and coffee shops. I get it, I mean, that’s a lot of trash and there is already plenty of trash in the world (insert joke about your mom or Arkansas or something here). metal and glass straws are a great alternative. I’ve had mine since I lived in Boulder–because they have been butthurt about plastic straws for centuries. Anyway, they do last a really long time and I’ve lost more than I’ve broken.

If you’re going to be slutty, if you’re going to get sloppy, might as well be ethical about it.

Will this drink help you get laid? No.

A decent personality, an ability to communicate, a sense of humor, and the whole consent thing (aka not fucking someone super drunk but someone who actually consciously wants to fuck you) those things will help you get laid.

This signature cocktail is just to quench the thirst for a drank. And maybe loosen you up a bit IF you’re down for cocktales (or peach-pies or pink tacos) later.

The full recipe and instructions are below. Cheers!

Thirsty Thursday Cocktail Cocktale Recipe

Sexy Strawberry-Blonde Ethical-Slut Punch

Ingredients:
(for two drinks)
4 to 8 Strawberries
2 to 4 Limes
Gin
Tequila
Triple Sec
Ginger Beer or Ale or Soda Water
Ice

Materials
Big ass glass or jar
Reusable glass or metal straw

Instructions:

Add:

  • 1 part Tequila
  • 1 part Gin
  • 1 part triple sec

Add some cut up  strawberries and smash them in the bottom of the big ass glass.

Throw in the juice of half to one lime.

Put a bunch of Ice in your big ass glass.

Top that big ass glass with ginger beer or ginger ale for that extra PUNCH of flavor (you can use soda water if you have no gingery things or you run out of gingery things or you want to cut out some of the sweetness).

Garnish with lime wedge (and strawberry if you’re feeling real frisky).

Drink up that drank with your reusable glass or metal straw.

Rinse. Repeat until thirst is quenched.

Happy Thirsty Thursday!

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:

Tantus

We-Vibe

Lelo