Let’s Talk About Sex and Liberalism, Baby

Did A Blow Job Open My Throat Chakra?

or

How I Can No Longer Stay Silent About Any Of This Shit Anymore

Because I promised to tell the whole truth or the (hole truth depending on how pervy you are) here are the videos of me trying to explain what I’m doing. Yes, I repeat myself. I was only going to use one of these clips, then I thought, fuck it. I’m not perfect. You can see how I’m not perfect in this series in multiple ways. Also, I talk about this one specific blow-job and how I’m no longer a liberal– a lot below. So. Watch one or all or none of them, whatever.

Just Trying to Figure Out What I’m Doing Here aka Breathing onto Camera

First Take On Why I’m Even Doing This

I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

Second Take On Why You Should Go Get Your Carrot Wet

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Not a Liberal or a Republican, Just a Slut

The Beginning of Go Eat a Carrot

Or

Krystal Says Goodbye to Her Liberal Identity and Hello to Pleasure

Here enjoy my manic breakdown episodes from a few days ago. I explain how I got to this point below in a long-winded story. I’ll be posting videos for the next 30 days, starting today.

Breakdown 1: Fuck

(It’s not easy being honest with the world)

Breakdown 2: How a Blow Job Opened My Throat Chakra.

Breakdown 3: Goodbye Hats, Goodbye Guilt

(aka let’s all get slutty)

Breakdown 4: This is what Mania Looks Like

(aka go take a nap)

Here’s how this all unfolded. I was in bed, depressed for like the 10,000th day of my life and I was thinking about how there was this conspiracy theory post that said, “If the government wants to take your guns then you probably need a gun.” It was weird because it was clearly a Republican-leaning person posting that meme but I still resonated with it and sort of wanted to go buy a gun.

I thought back to all of my beliefs I’ve had throughout my life. What had gotten me to that point where I was actually listening to the other side? Through a series of thoughts, I decided that maybe I was no longer a liberal after all. It didn’t necessarily have to do with guns either. Admittedly Roseanne was the last straw. I was on Instagram and I saw a post where Republicans were complaining about liberals complaining about Roseanne. I watched the show and realized that both sides were right and wrong at the same time and that I could agree and disagree with both sides equally.

Roseanne is a situational comedy. That means in 20 minutes they have to solve a situation (and do so in a funny way). And can you believe that a show was able to resolve one of the biggest situations we’ve faced in the last year? That of people no longer speaking to each other because of their political beliefs?

Yet, both sides were pissed about how the show did it.

It was at that point when I knew I could no longer label myself one way or the other. That I had to either go to the middle ground or become an outlier altogether. Instead of being liberal or conservative I instead want to align myself with the open-minded.

The real, truly open-minded. People who willing listen to all sides of an issue and can understand where all sides are coming from while still maintaining their own voice and opinions on the issue.

As this revelation came to me, so too did my guilt from the last 30+ years disappear and most importantly, my depression. I no longer feel dead inside.

Besides the obvious divisive political issues that the two parties constantly argue over, what came up for me once I released the label was an ability to better own my sexuality.

I believe that pleasure is an important element for a healthy existence. How one explores pleasure is up to the individual, but for me, with my background in feminism and liberalism, it has always been difficult to admit that I LIKE COCK. I enjoy spending time with men and with women and the beautiful people in between. I enjoy sex. And though so many liberals claim to be sex-positive, many define sex-positive in a very specific way.

A friend made a comment to me about how all the dudes on tinder just want to “get their carrots wet.” I had never heard anyone refer to a dick as a carrot. The next day I was at the Denver Central Market when I saw a basket full of the biggest carrots I had ever seen in my life. I told my date how excited I was to see such large carrots. He said he’d buy me one and I said if he did I would, “fuck that carrot.”

Suddenly there was the largest girthiest dildo-looking carrot in my hand. We continued on our date. It was evening by this point, we had both eaten an edible and were in bed together doing sexy things. The carrot was looking at us. I picked it up. I realized we hadn’t eaten in hours. I looked at the carrot. I looked at my date. I bit the tip of the carrot off.

Because sometimes you’re hungry for carrot and sometimes you’re hungry for dick and sometimes it’s funny to call a dick a carrot and then put it in your mouth.

If that carrot-dick opens up your throat chakra and then the edible keeps you up all night with thoughts on how you have to TELL THE WORLD YOU LOVE CARROTS then you might end up doing what I’m about to do for the next 30 days, which is tell you everything I know/think about politics and sex. It’s not a lot, hence why I’m doing it for 30 days (and also I have commitment issues). While I’m doing this I want to hear from you too. Comment, troll me if it gets you off. Let’s have a conversation about all of this. I can be wrong. I can be right. In the end, it doesn’t matter as long as we all are happy eating our carrots or peaches or whatever we like to stick in our mouths, which can be nothing at all too.

Go Eat A Carrot: The Beginning

Shedding her liberal label

Thanks for joining me!

Together we will go on an adventure into the truth. My truth. Your truth. How the truth changes.

I’ve decided to go ALL In. That is I’m going to give you my maximum truth and I want you to tell me yours, that way we can learn and grow together.

About a week ago I decided to shed my liberal label. No longer will I align with any side. Instead, I choose to be open to the possibilities. I’m here to talk and to listen. I am here to be right and wrong and maybe to somehow be right and wrong at the same time.

Here’s what I currently believe.

I believe people should be open to all perspectives while maintaining their own integrity and voice.

I believe people should enjoy the pleasures in life. If you want to have sex–have sex. If you like dick–eat more dick. If you like pussy–eat more pussy. If you like getting high and eating carrots then go eat a fucking carrot.

Shedding her liberal label
Krystal finds love and a carrot.

Shed your guilt.

Embrace the truth of who you are.

I’ve studied sexuality and relationships in school. I’ve worked at a sex toy store. I’ve gone on hundreds of tinder dates and had sex with pretty close to that same number of people. I am an expert slut–and yet I know next to nothing. The world is vast and full of so much information. But I’ll tell you I never felt freer than the moment I admitted that I liked to suck cock and could no longer align myself with the guilt of the liberal agenda.

This does not mean I am now a Republican or Conservative or Libertarian or any of that. The only thing I am is open.

Open to learn. Open to talk candidly about sex, politics, and everything & anything else I feel like talking because I’m so fucking over it.

For the next 30 days, I’m going to post at least one video a day. Somedays I may post a fuck ton. Some days I may post a video about not posting a video. Somedays I’ll have makeup on my face, other days I will not. Some days I’ll be profound and some days I’ll be stupid.

I will offend everyone at least once. Please call me out. I am not afraid of your opinion. If you get off on trolling people, troll away. I am not scared of trolls. In fact, I used to collect trolls when I was a child; the more trolls the better. Troll-on trolls. And also, fuck you.

For the last 15+ years, I’ve felt dead inside. It was only when I decided to say everything I thought because I had nothing left to lose that I finally felt alive again.

So here are my thoughts. Somethings are the truth. Other things are just my truth and the truth changes. It’s OKAY to change your mind. It’s OKAY to be wrong.

And with that. Let us carry on and begin.

The Truth Hurts. The Truth Will Set You Free. Blah Blah. Go Eat a Carrot.