St. Patrick’s Big Banana Mint Shake

healthy shamrock shape

A tribute to the Shamrock Shake with a phallic twist

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m a big fan of the Shamrock shake. I am not however, a big fan of the establishment in which you procure such a delicacy. Thus, I have attempted this adaptation. In honor of St. Patrick’s day, I’ve put together a healthier phallic-food centered recipe (aka a frozen banana) to try. I’m drinking this big banana mint shake right now actually, and it’s mostly good. Feel like it could use something though (probably ice cream haha) so, give it a whirl, and if you come up with an adjustment that makes it tastes EVEN better, let me know. I’ll give you a shout-out and hook you up with a digital copy of the book whenever I get it put together. 

Cheers and hope you enjoy your Irish heritage celebration wherever you happen to be! 

St. Patrick’s Big Banana Mint Shake

What You Need:

  • 1 overripe large frozen banana
  • 1/4 tsp pure peppermint extract 
  • 1 cup milk of choice
  • 1/4 cup frozen spinach
  • pink of salt
  • chocolate chips, as desired

What You Do:

Take all the ingredients, throw them into a blender, and blend until completely smooth. If you’d like, you can wait to put the chocolate chips in until the end or not at all. Also, feel free to use green food coloring instead of spinach if you’d like the less healthy version. Pour into glass, top with more chocolate chips if so desired and enjoy.

Thanks for coming!

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including even more Irish Heritage fun check out my Bangers and Smashers recipe (Irish sausage + mashed parsnip and potatoes) here.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Titson the Chubstep Podcast here

Banana Pancakes with Blue Balls and Nuts

pancakes made with bananas

A slightly healthier pancake option 

I had heard about pancakes made with bananas before but something about it always seemed kind of gross to me. Probably because it took me 33 years to be able to eat bananas at all. The thought of bananas smoothed out and then cooked wasn’t that appealing. BUT, I decided to give banana pancakes a whirl and I was pleasantly surprised. They have all the classic pancake traits, fluffy, moist, sweet, but with just a slight banana flavor. I think the blueberries, pecans, and syrup really help to layer on the flavor and texture. 

If you have extra bananas sitting around on the verge of turning, this is a great way to use them. Quick and simple and they don’t even use flour, so you gluten-free freaks may rejoice!

The blueberries and nuts are optional and you can substitute any other topping or none at all if you so desire. You can also double or triple the batch if you have more people to feed. This recipe is ideal for two people (or two meals) or if you’re cooking a whole breakfast spread, these make a nice addition. 

Your mouth deserves this banana pancake delight. 

Banana Pancakes with Blue Balls and Nuts Recipe

What You Need:

  • 1 cup rolled oats 
  • 2 medium bananas,  peeled
  • ¼ cup milk of choice 
  • 1 tablespoon of honey
  • A pinch salt
  • A handful of blueberries
  • A handful of pecans 

What You Do:

  • Heat a well-greased large skillet or griddle to medium high. 
  • Put the oats, bananas, milk, honey and salt in a blender and blend up smoothish. 
  • Pour batter with ladle into small rounds onto the greased skillet. 
  • Drop a couple of pecans and/or blueberries on top. 
  • The pancakes will start creating air pocket bubbles to help you know they are cooked on the bottom. The spatula should easily slide under the pancake when ready to flip (around 2 minutes)
  • Once flipped over, cook an additional minute. (This recipe makes about 8 small pancakes.)  
  • I topped mine with a sugar-free pecan syrup and more blueberries and pecans. Obviously do it your way.  

Enjoy!

I hope you loved BANANA MONTH!  For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including even more Banana Fun check out my Basic Bitch Banana Bread with a Phallic Diet Twist here.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

Basic Bitch Banana Bread Recipe with a Phallic Diet Twist

easy banana bread recipe

We’re All Going Bananas Over Here!

Banana bread may have already reached its peak but I couldn’t not include it during BANANA month. It’s the perfect go-to recipe when your bananas have gotten ripe–which seemingly happens over night. I made it extra phallic-diet-y by placing a banana right on top and adding nuts. You can use whatever banana bread recipe you want for this delicious breakfast or afternoon snack, but I added one below if you don’t have your own staple one already. 

Basic Bitch Banana Bread Recipe with a Phallic Diet Twist 

What You Need:

  • 2 to 3 very ripe bananas, peeled (about 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 cups mashed) 
  • +1 peeled (not as ripe) banana for the top
  • 1/3 cup melted unsalted butter
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1/2 cup sugar 
  • 1 large egg, beaten
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour
  • ⅓ cup nuts* of your choice, chopped *optional (I used pecans, but walnuts would work well)

What You Do:

Butter a 4×8-inch loaf pan

Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C)

Mash the ripe bananas with a fork or potato masher in a large mixing bowl, until completely smooth. Stir the melted butter into the mashed bananas.

Mix in the baking soda and salt. 

Stir in the sugar, beaten egg, and vanilla extract in separate bowl then mix into the flour. Lightly stir in your nuts.

Pour the batter into your prepared loaf pan. 

Place your whole extra banana right on top of the mixture in the pan. 

Bake for 50 minutes to 1 hour at 350°F (175°C), or until a tester inserted into the center comes out clean.

Remove from oven and let cool in the pan for a few minutes. Then remove the banana bread from the pan and let cool completely.

Slice up your bread and enjoy!  

banana bread recipe easy and fun

Loving BANANA MONTH thus far? For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including more Bananas check out Suck On a Chocolate Banana Shake— healthy, easy, nutritious

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

Frozen Chocolate Covered Bananas with Nuts

frozen bananas

They’re hard. They’re Chocolate. They’re nutty. 

It’s BANANA Month! 

Oh, yeah, because this shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Now that I have that song stuck in your head, I shall continue. I hated bananas until the age of 34. So, the banana boat is something I’m just now hopping onto. I still don’t really care for banana-flavored stuff but I do not think I’m alone here. 

Anyway, these frozen chocolate covered bananas are a perfect treat for yourself or your lover or both and easy enough to make that you’ll look like a real champ if you are looking for a fun and delicious way to celebrate the holiday of love aka Valentine’s Day. Or you just want a moderately healthy dessert to shove in your mouth. Before your bananas turn to mush turn them into this sweet treat and have them on hand anytime you’re in the mood for hard, chocolatey nuts on your tongue. 

Frozen Chocolate Covered Bananas with Nuts

What You Need:

  • 2 Bananas cut in half
  • 4 Popsicle sticks
  • ½ a bag of chocolate chips
  • Nuts of your choice (I used pecans and peanuts)

What You Do:

1.

On baking sheet with a piece of wax paper on top, put popsicle sticks up each banana

Let freeze for like 15-30 minutes

2. 

Once bananas have gotten hard, melt the chocolate–a microwave works best but a double-broiler works too (I have neither so it made this much more challenging)

3.

Dump some nuts on a plate. Dip, cover, coat each bananas in chocolate and then roll each banana in the nuts. Place back on wax paper.

4.

Freeze for like 30 more minutes than shove in mouth. Or store in ziplock bag until ready to eat. 

Thanks for coming! 

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes check out Go Eat a Carrot Hummus.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

Woman Eats Banana For Health Reasons

healthy eating done wrong

Watch This Woman Eat a Banana

or

This is the weirdest way to eat a banana ever displayed on the internet

For 30 years I hated bananas. Then one day I went to a gong bath, which is a sound healing event where you lie on the floor for 90 minutes while someone plays a gong. During the gong bath I had this really weird trip, snakes were entering my mouth and vagina, slithering into my arms and legs, I wasn’t scared while it was happening even though I am deathly afraid of snakes in real life. The next day, I went to work and there was a pile of fruit on the snack shelf. Some of these fruits in the pile were bananas. I had not eaten a banana since I was about two years old. I didn’t like the smell of them. I didn’t like the texture of them. I didn’t like the taste of them. Yet, after the gong bath my dislike for bananas completely disappeared. I tore into one of the bananas and ate the whole thing without even making a face. Of course, they’re still not my favorite food but I eat them because they’re cheap and they make my nails long and they also sort of look like dicks and that’s funny to me.

Now, I can put pretty much any food in my mouth. The only food I dislike is beets, but I can eat them if I HAVE to, like they’re in a salad or something. I also wasn’t really impressed with pumpkin spiced pickled pumpkin, but how often does a person run into that?

In any event, I decided to film a moment of me eating a banana because it’s weird and I do weird things.

Enjoy.

On this day I ate a banana. Watch it here.

It takes some time to eat an entire banana. Enjoy the End aka Part 2 here.