Holiday Gift Guide: Best Sex Toys for Every Budget

Give Your Lover The Gift of Pleasure This Holiday Season

There’s really not a better gift to give than the gift of pleasure. What’s a better way to experience pleasure than with sex toys?! Below is a list of some of the best sex toys you can get no matter your budget.

Women’s External (Clitoral) Toys

Best Bang for Your Buck

The Pico-bong Collection from Lelo– Ako $45

A bit on the higher-end of affordable but this toy is basically the battery-version of Lelo. High-quality materials, waterproof, quiet. This is the #1 vibrator I recommend for anyone who has never used a vibrator before or for anyone who needs a good travel vibe.  

best affordable clit vibrator

Best Deal Happening Right Now

Nea by Lelo $69

This is the cheapest I’ve seen this clitoral vibe by Lelo listed online for quite a while. I’ve had this toy for like eight years and it still works wonders. It’s rechargable and made out of a body-safe material. Plus it’s so small you can take it pretty much anywhere. 

Best Splurge for Your Urge 

We-Vibe Touch $99

When it comes to clitoral toys we-vibe does it right. This one is great because it covers a bit more surface area than the bullet (which is also amazing). 

high end clit vibe worth the money

Women’s Best External (G-Spot…and more) Toys

Best Bang for Your Buck

Another great toy from Lelo’s Pico-Bong Collection– Moka $33

This is SUPER cheap compared to what it used to be priced at. I’d say get it now before they raise it back up to its original cost. Don’t forget the batteries! (Bonus, the surface area of this g-spot toy also works well as a clitoral vibrator.) 

Best $100 Bucks You Can Spend

Fun Factory Stronic Drei

Another great toy company is Fun Factory (based in Germany). I think out of all the toy companies out there they manage to get a great girth/size for all of their toys. The material is an interesting texture that’s somewhere in between soft and hard (kind of like a dick, but like, not). 

Real Love Cums in a Fancy Box

The Soraya from Lelo $179

If you’re looking for a toy that will be a real show stopper, look no further. This fancy af toy hits the g-spot and the clit. Plus it’s super fancy, which really proves how much you care about your lover/friend/favorite blog writer… 

Men’s Masturbators

Best Bang for Your Buck 

TENGA Standard Edition Deep Throat OnaCup $12.99

These cheap TENGA cups are designed for one-time use BUT if you use it with a condom you can reuse it multiple times. 

Give Him the Gift of Boujee Wanking

The TENGA Flip Holes are the best male masturbators on the market. You can’t go wrong with any of their options. They’re easy to clean and create a sensation you won’t find anywhere else. 

TENGA Flip Hole Luxury $104.99

Best Prostate Toys

Hit it and Quit It

Love Honey Curve Cruise 5 Function Vibrating Prostate Massager $20.99

If you’re a beginner and testing the prostate massage waters it’s best to start out with something on the cheaper side. This is decent quality and a size that won’t overwhelm. Plus, you can add a bullet for additional vibration / stimulation. 



Explore the Middle Ground

Tantus Slow Drive $53 

Tantus has some of the best sex toys on the market. Premium quality, easy to clean, and the company is based in America. They have plenty of options but this toy can work for either the prostate or the g-spot, so why not go both ways, if you dare (and clean it properly). 

Give That Butt the Royal Treatment

Hugo-Lelo $164

The Hugo from Lelo is the treat your prostate (or your manfriend’s prostate) has been dreaming about. It comes with a wireless remote, dual motor and is waterproof and rechargeable.  

Best Couple’s Sex Toys

Some Cheap Fun Stuff

Dual Vibrating Cock Ring $7.99

Chocolate Body Paint $14.99

Red Silk Bondage Restraints $14.99

Meet Each Other In The Middle

Weekend In Bed Bondage Kit $34.99

Love Honey Kinky Crystal Sex Kit $64.99

Because these are a bit cheaper you want to be extra careful with the cleaning of these different sex toys. 

Fancy AF Couples Toys

We-Vibe Anniversary Collection $229

My favorite bullet + one of the best couple’s toys out there in this beautiful combo package!

Feeldoe $145

Yes, it’s a strapless strap-on. Great for lesbian/queer couples and hetero couples that enjoy exploring with pegging. 

Lelo Oden 2 $199

This fancy cock ring is adjustable and comes with a wireless remote. 

Don’t forget the toy cleaner and lube

Get the Deals! 

Love Honey — Specials up to 50% Off All Through Black Friday & Cyber Monday + Free Shipping on orders over $60

Lelo — Save up to 70% off select items at LELO.com! No coupon code needed! (Valid through 11/28/18)

We-Vibe — Save 20% on everything at We-Vibe! Use code TWENTY. Valid 11.23-11.29

Tantus — Black Friday (November 23rd) through Cyber Monday (November 24th) = 50% Off (Almost) Everything* (some exclusions)

Weird Sex Wednesday: When Someone Else Shaved My Pubes

shaving pubic hair

To Shave the Pubes or to Not Shave the Pubes

A couple of weeks ago a fan sent in a question asking for advice on the best most polite way to ask his girlfriend to shave her pubic hair. This was because it was a turn on for him to see more of what she had going on down there. You can read my reply to his pubic hair question here.


It was interesting timing to receive said question. I had just gone about two whole weeks without having sex with another person and during that time period my hair didn’t just go wild, it went out of control. I’m pretty sure I could have braided it. I’m pretty sure it started braiding itself.

I discovered I did actually have a preference when it came to my own pubic hair length. The preference now is for it to not be so long other people might choke on it and die. I don’t really like it completely bald. I like to have a least some barrier between my genital skin and someone else’s.

Strangely enough in my 20 years of having pubic hair while on this planet, I have never had anyone else ever shave my pussy (nor have I had a bikini wax, but one step at a time).


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That is, I had never had anyone shave my pussy until last week.

To tell you the truth it was scarier to have this gentleman shave my pussy than it was to be in a truck going 60 miles an hour through stop signs through residential neighborhoods with a driver who was on acid. Why? Because if he wrecked his truck I was dead, but if he wrecked the trimmer, my pussy was dead. The fear of walking around with a dead pussy was scarier than being completely and totally dead dead.

Having someone else shave my pussy was one of the most vulnerable things I have ever done. It was also a good workout because I basically stood in a squat position in this standing shower so he could have a better angle. Perhaps that’s also why it was scary, I didn’t know if my legs would give out mid buzz.

Buy a fancy hair trimmer thing here.

Was it sexy? It was sexy watching him concentrate. It was sexy letting my guard down. Was the act itself sexy, no, it tickled.

The acts AFTER the pussy buzz cut were pretty fucking hot though. I think he was happy to no longer nearly choke to death on my hair. Though the hair from my head still ends up everywhere, but that’s a problem for another day.

Sex Toy Review: Cheap Beginner Cockrings

cheap beginner cock rings

cheap beginner cock rings

Masturbation Monday: Best Beginner Cock Rings

or

Cheap Cock Rings To Get You Started

 

As many of you who follow my blog know, I’m a super snob when it comes to sex toys. A former co-worker used to call our high-end sex toy products, ‘gucci for your coochie,’ and that’s typically all that I will allow near me.

That being said, I will make some exceptions.

I make a big exception when it comes to cock rings.

Sure, there are some super nice high-end cock rings out there like the Lelo Oden and We-Vibe Verge and these are great toys.

Yet, when it comes to cock-rings, after personal experience with types from every price range and every quality, I have to admit that the cheap disposal ones are a pretty good way to go.

The cheap disposal cock rings are great particularly if you’ve never used one before and are trying to get an idea if it’s a thing you’d even want to invest in.

Cock rings typically go over the penis and the testicles, this restriction holds the testicles down and keeps the testes from contracting. This constriction helps to slow down ejaculation and can increase an orgasm from around 6 seconds to up to 45 seconds. Cock rings can be made from stretchy plastics or can be solid, made from materials like metal, glass, leather.

If you’re a beginner I’d suggest the stretchy kind. Men have informed me that they’re much easier to put on and yes they will fit around your penis and your balls no matter how BIG you think you are.

I suggest the stretchy plastic ones with the vibrator. The thing that’s great about the vibrator is that you can put the vibrator on the top side of your shaft and if you’re having sexual intercourse with a woman she’ll feel the vibrations on her clitoris–bonus for her. Or you can turn the cock ring the other way so the vibrator stimulates your balls, this works whether you’re having sex with a partner or you’re doing it solo.

I bought a ten-pack off of Amazon for like $14. Just throw them away after use.

You can shop for them here:

Sexy Slave [10-Pack] Butterfly Vibrating Cock Ring – Stretchy Penis Ring – Clitorial Stimulation for Women – Adult Sex Toys for Couples, Pink or Purple

I know these plastic throw-away cock rings aren’t the most environmentally friendly option out there but they’re good for beginners or those who don’t really want to use a cock ring all of the time.

If you are going to use a cock ring regularly then I’d suggest moving up to one of the more high-end rechargable ones, I’d suggest the Lelo Oden as it’s a bit more adjustable than some of the others and it comes with a wireless remote to add to the fun.

Like and comment on my Instagram Post for your chance to win one of these cheap disposable cock rings (Winner selected November 30, 2018)

Are You Settling in Your Romantic Relationship?

why do people settle for people they're not in love with

Why You Shouldn’t Settle This Cuffing Season

or

Overcoming Inner Pain to Find True Love

This past week I’ve had more than one stranger on the internet bring up this idea of settling in romantic relationships. I know that it’s peak cuffing season and many people are out scrambling trying to find someone to spend the cold winter with, but I have to ask the people doing this, why?

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It felt like perhaps the reason this topic kept coming up was that people are struggling with their own deep insecurities when it comes to romance. They say it out loud as a way to tell themselves not to do it because for whatever reason they are tempted to settle themselves.

Of course, it could be a passive-aggressive way for them to imply that the choices I am making could be better aka I could be going out with them, but that seems pretty egotistical of me to consider. Anyone actually doing that would be someone I would never want to date, one person, in particular, couldn’t let it go that I didn’t want to hang out with him or receive his (unasked for) help and that person quickly got himself blocked.

Yet, this idea of settling has continued to stir around in my brains.

Let’s talk for a minute about why people choose to settle.

From what I understand it stems from two main insecurities–fear and loneliness.

Fears that they will always be alone. Fears that they will never be understood. Fears that they aren’t good enough or worthy enough for true love.

People make all sorts of interesting relationship decisions to avoid loneliness. Yes, it can be painful to spend time by yourself, but if you’re experiencing pain while alone then it’s the most vital time to be alone. No one else can fill that void they are merely a distraction, a deflection and sooner or later all those gross feelings you were trying to avoid will rise again to the surface whether you’re living with or loving someone else.

Sex Toys for him, for her, for both of you

It’s okay to be afraid. It’s okay to be alone. One must experience the wide world of emotions to truly grasp the beauty of it all. If you’ve never been alone then you’d have no idea what it’s like to be present with someone else. If you’ve never really seen yourself, you’ll never be able to see someone else, really see them– and only when you can see them can you truly love them.

So, this cuffing season, why not take a step back, reflect on who you are and what you really want. Sure, it might be nice to have someone to cuddlefuck while you watch Netflix together, but if you’re just using each other to stay warm wouldn’t it be easy to just buy a heated blanket?

Yes, doing that inner work is going to be much more difficult, but it will bring much more joy in the long run and yes, real true love too.

In other words, stop running from your dark side, embrace it and learn how to work with it instead of against it. This will at least help you become more emotionally intelligent and stop settling for people, jobs, addictions that don’t serve you in any sort of authentic or meaningful way.

Tits Out Tuesday: Why Are We Scared of Young Adult Sexuality?

children and sexuality discussion from book review all the ugly and wonderful things

The Odd Feelings That Arise Regarding Kids and Sex

or

All the Ugly and Wonderful Things Book Review

I just finished this work of fiction called All the Ugly and Wonderful Things, it was the 2016 Book of the Year Winner and the author Bryn Greenwood was raised and still lives in Kansas, which is pretty cool since I am from there myself.

Anyhoo. In this book a 10 year-old-girl and a 22-year-old-man fall in love with each other.

The author does a pretty good job at getting a well-rounded perspective on the situation, coming from multiple character points of view, yet the entire time I felt incredibly queasy.

I kept waiting for something to happen that I didn’t think would happen, like them parting ways for example, and yet the relationship kept developing fuller, deeper, creepier.

Now, I get that in other cultures many women marry right around the time of puberty. I suppose this makes sense in at least a biological way. I mean, what defines womanhood more than the ability to have children? (I am not saying having children makes someone a woman nor am I saying only humans who have periods are women, I know there might be some outrage here about this. I’m saying the ability to create and give birth is one major defining characteristic of feminine power.) Whatever, that’s not what this is about anyway.

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What this is about is how awkward and weird it is in the United States today for anything like a tween and an adult having sex / getting married to happen.

There are laws put in place by the government that dictates the age of consent.

It’s unfortunate that they can’t instead dictate the age of emotional intelligence with regards to sexual consent because that would actually make way more sense. For example, I’m sure there are some incredibly smart / self-reflective / emotionally mature 15-year-olds who could handle a romantic relationship with someone way better than some 45-year-olds could. And yet, many people would argue that no, a 15-year-old is not fully developed and thus cannot make those kinds of decisions.

I personally think it’s all situational and cannot be defined or boxed into a sweeping generalization based on age.

Should a 10-year-old and a 22-year-old fuck?

Nah. Prob not.

But if they wait ten years then 20 and 32 isn’t as weird. The whole life-experience thing really helps with these scenarios.

One thing I do think we’re missing culturally though is the understanding that children do have a sexual nature. Sure, they are not fully developed but how many kids strip their Barbies naked and have them rub against each other? How many dry hump their stuffed animals or play “doctor” (do they still call it that?) with each other when they’re supposed to be napping?


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Should they be shamed for this exploration? Shaming seems to be a pretty typical route in America when I’m wondering if there isn’t a better way to educate them at their level on understanding this secret adult world a little bit more? Wouldn’t this help with communication in the future when they’re old enough to explore? Wouldn’t this help them perhaps NOT get into some weird sex thing with someone twice their age?

Of course, the characters in this book had a slew of other fucked up things happen to them and thus the relationships that were created were way more complicated.

I get why so many people have hang-ups about sex. Our childhoods were a big part in shaping us into the weird prudish sluts that so many of us are.

Honestly, I’m just trying to come to terms with the uneasiness I felt from this story. Has anyone else read it? Here’s a link to All the Ugly and Wonderful Things if you haven’t and you’re interested in giving it a whirl. Would love to discuss either the book or some of the above topics, feel free to leave your comments below or email me directly.

Weird Sex Wednesday: How to Ask Someone to Shave Their Pubes

how to ask someone to shave their pubic hair

Is It Acceptable to Ask Someone To Shave?

Or

Body Hair, Pubes, And the Awkward Request to Remove It All

So, the other day this guy who I’ve been exploring life with starts to go down on me. I’m like, cool, awesome, great, oh, by the way, my pubic hair is a JUNGLE right now so have fun down there!

Halfway through, he stops. Starts like choke-spitting. I’m trying not to laugh, but of course, I can’t help it.

He gets up, goes to the bathroom, and basically gags himself while removing a long hair (or two or three) from the back of his throat.

It was a super sexy scene let me tell you.

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Typically I don’t shave ALL of my pubes off, usually, I keep it trim and tidy, but lately, I’ve let it go. I’ve gotten lazy. Or to be honest, I’m growing little fur friends for the winter. I think my pube-fur-friend might be a bit too wild though. So, in the next few days, I will attempt some sort of maintenance with it.

But as we all know, to each their own when it comes to what they want to do with their body hair. I want people to be able to eat me out without gagging so there’s that.

This morning I woke up to this question from a fan:

Being male and very visually stimulated ( which is why i follow your site…:)…) How is a diplomatic way I can ask my partner to shave or trim down there, so I can better see what is going on?

-Wanting to See it All

Sounds like a pretty hairy situation to me my friend.

There are a lot of politics surrounding the pubes these days. We all know that porn stars shave because they’re on camera and are attempting to give people a better view of their goods, they’re not doing it because it FEELS better. I mean, can you imagine 1. Having the hair on your entire pubic region covered in wax and then ripped off? 2. Having sex with your now sensitive exposed skin grinding over and over, rubbing, chafing against someone else’s newly exposed hairless skin? They do it because THEY GET PAID.

We all do it because we watch too much porn.

Now, I’m not saying any of us should watch less porn. I’m sure SOME of us should but that’s a different post for a different day.

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With regards to asking your partner to shave because it visually stimulates you and makes you excited, I’m thinking you could go with that?

“I enjoy your body just the way it is, but a trimmed up vulva-region really gets me excited. I’d love to be able to see more of you. I’m wondering if we could give it a try?”

I’d suggest offering something in exchange as well. For example, you can shave each other. Or if there’s something she’d like you to do that you haven’t done, perhaps finally offer that up. That could be anything from letting her stick a finger up your butt to finally remodeling the bathroom like you said you would years ago. Whatever, you get the idea.

We have to keep in mind that there is a multitude of reasons why people choose to keep their pubes. It could be political. It could be out of laziness. It could be because they like the way it feels more. It could be they’re lonely and want a little fur pet. They might be afraid of razors or wax or lasers. They might not like walking around naked with child-like body hair. Perhaps they’re trying to grow it out to donate it to Locks of Love?

So, yeah, in the end, if you’d like your partner to shave, just ask them politely, offer to help, offer something in return. Then respect whichever choice they make since it’s their body and they’re allowing you access to it when they don’t really have to.

(Of course if you REALLY hate pubes, you don’t have to access the pubed-body anymore and you could surely go out and date someone else, but I think that’s a bit extreme. It’s just hair after all).

Masturbation Monday: Sex Toy Review, The Nova by We-Vibe

rabbit sex toy vibrator review

Review of Nova from We-Vibe the Dual Stimulation Vibrator

Or

What’s a Good G-Spot and Clitoral Vibrator in One?

It’s Masturbation Monday yet again. Today I’m talking about the dual stimulation vibrator Nova from We-Vibe. This sex toy is designed to stimulate both the g-spot and the clitoris at the same time. It’s made to flex with you aka the clitoral part moves for better coverage, unlike many other rabbit vibrators that are stationary in location.

I’ve always been a big fan of We-Vibe products. The Tango is my favorite bullet vibrator. The touch a close second (it covers a bit more surface area than the Tango but can’t be used in toys that have bullet holes). I even had fun with the couple’s vibrator that put We-Vibe on the map way back in the day.

Personally, I’m not the biggest fan of internal / g-spot sex toys myself. I get off much easier with just clitoral stimulation, but every once in a while, particularly when there has been a dick drought, an internal toy is nice to experience.

And yes, I can have a g-spot orgasm and yes I can squirt… but it’s not as good of an orgasm as the clitoral and it makes much more of a puddle so I often times choose not to bother.

The dual stimulators are nice because they give you the best of both worlds.

The Nova has all sorts of features:

  • Waterproof
  • Recharegable
  • Quiet
  • Body-safe silicone (free from phthalates, latex, and BPA)
  • 2-year warranty
  • 2 motors and 10+ vibration modes

The coolest (and also not coolest) part about many of the new we-vibe sex toys is that they now work with the We-Connect App.

Yes, you can now control your vibrator through your phone.

This was super fun to play with and actually easier than using the buttons on the vibrator (when the App worked). You can move the speed up and down or swipe for different vibration modes. Even better–you can create your own vibration mode.

The other thing you can do with the app is share it with a lover so they can control the device through their phone even when you’re not in the same space– which could potentially be great for long-distance relationships or web-cam stuff.

(Check out my Patreon to see exclusive content + bonus stuff when we hit my goal aka witness an artsy fartsy video involving the Nova).

I do have to say that this review has taken a while because I did have some issues with the app and the vibrator. Every time I swiped for a different vibration mode on the phone the vibrator would turn off and I’d have to reprogram the entire thing (then it would do the same thing again even after a factory reset). The staff at We-Vibe was very friendly and replaced the toy. They also told me that this is the first time they’ve ever heard of such an issue, which I wasn’t super surprised to hear since I am known to cause technology to act a bit weird in my presence.

Explore the Nova for yourself here.

rabbit sex toy vibrator review

Then I looked up reviews on the app store and saw an entirely different story.

It appears that many people have been having issues syncing these toys with the app.

So, bottom line–the concept is great, the execution of said concept seems like it might need a little more work.

In the end, I’ve never been disappointed by a we-vibe product (though yes, I am disappointed by the app connection).

My advice would be to consider what kind of stimulation you enjoy and pick a toy out according to that. They have nearly everything you can think of including clitoral, anal, g-spot, dual, and cock rings.

If your main reason for buying the toy is to use for long-distance maybe this isn’t the BEST choice at the current moment, but once they get the app refined a bit more I’m sure it will be amazing.

Check out the Nova For Yourself Here

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Friday Feels: Erotic Poetry

poetry of the erotic nature written and read by a woman

Exploring Erotic Poetry

or

Creativity, Confidence, and Sex

The other day a gentleman asked if he could write an erotic poem about me. I agreed. He sent it over to me and it was actually pretty good. I’d share a bit with you but somehow it’s disappeared. Kind of weird, but so are people on the internet, so there’s that. Perhaps, his account got deleted as Instagram is known to do to people who talk openly about sex. (I’ll write about that whole ordeal sometime in the near future.)

I’ve never really understood poetry. My roommate is a poet and writes poems for people for a living based on the topic of their choice. I’d say she’s more of a channeller, somehow able to read people immediately and know exactly what they need to hear. I write in almost the reverse way, to understand myself more, to write what I need to hear.

Erotic poetry is its own little niche artform. Of course, it centers around sex but more importantly the feeling you get from connecting with someone else. The sensuality, the deeper meaning of why you’re interacting with another on an intimate level.

Just like with erotic stories there seems to be a lot of words like “wet,” “throbbing,” “taste,” “hard,” etc.

Some though are poignant, profound, touching even.

“I’ll touch her without touching her.
Using my words as foreplay.” -Onur Taskiran

Words as foreplay. That’s probably the best way to describe it. And it’s true, the brain is the largest sexual organ. We should all try to tease it more, stimulate it more, caress it and show it compassion.

Sure, the booty call, one-night-stand, no-strings-attached hookups have their place. But if you’re looking to engage in something more meaningful, why not use your words? Writing poetry might not be your go-to, you might find it difficult or silly but creating something out of nothing is beautiful regardless of the outcome. It proves you can be active in your own life, not just a passive bystander that takes everyone else’s creativity and gives nothing back.

I’d encourage you to take an hour out of your day and make something. Channel whatever feelings you’re feeling and turn them into art, whether you go the erotic poetry route or you paint or cook or build a birdhouse, it doesn’t matter.

I’ll share with you a couple of erotic poems I attempted so you know that it’s okay to not always get everything right the first go around.

Trouble

It all started with a look
Not a look, the look.
Eyes that sparkle, magnets
Connecting us on a deeper plane.

I knew he was trouble
The moment I saw him,
But I stared right into him anyway.

Together we’d create
Or destroy
The world, our world, each other.

-K

I know, I know, that one wasn’t really EROTIC. If you want a real erotic one, check out my reading for Freaky Fan Friday on Patreon.

Here’s another one that’s also not that erotic. Hey, I’m learning here, okay?!

Woman Plays with Fire

My friends try to tell me that I’m not in love with him
They say I’m in love with danger
Okay, maybe
But maybe I’m in love with the way he makes me feel
He makes me feel everything
He makes me feel alive
No else else ever has, not even myself
Feeling is dangerous
That’s what they should say.

-K

I wrote and recorded four poems total. So I put the last one up also on my Patreon as a super exclusive for the high-level tier. Hear the weirdness when you join us today, plus you’ll get access to ALL of the work I’ve uploaded since I’ve started Patreon (all the way back in April), which I must admit is rather juicy stuff. Thanks for coming!

Tits Out Tuesday: Video Games and Sexuality

cosplay mario from nintendo woman

Why Are So Many Men Into Female Gamers?

or

Gaming and Sexual Arousal Amongst Winners

Yesterday I ended up at a thrift store, while I was in said thrift store I happened upon this Mario Halloween costume. It was only $7. Even though it’s a size small and I am not a size small I had to get it anyway.

As many of you know from following my blog I have a Mario/Luigi/Princess Peach threesome fantasy. I had just said to my friend who was with me (prior to finding the costume) that if I had to pick between going as any of the three I’d want to be Mario because he’s the one I like the least. If I’m Mario then I don’t have to look at Mario.

Then the costume magically appeared before my eyes.


WSSHA Halloween Women’s Cosplay Super Mario Costume Dress

Does this mean I will find a Luigi / Princess Peach combo while I’m out and about? It seems possible. It seems probable. Why else would the costume randomly show up right after I mentioned it?

In any event, it’s gotten me thinking about sexuality and the gaming culture.

Anyone else find it fascinating how many (hetero) men are into female gamers and how many females are not into dudes who play video games all the time?

There are (hetero) women in the world who will refuse to date guys who play video games; they see it as a major red flag. They think the guy will never grow up, or get off the couch, or pay attention to them.

Those are all valid points.

I’d imagine that a lot of these women have experienced those issues in the past and prefer not to repeat them.

It seems pretty obvious that men are into female gamers because it gives them something to bond over, to enjoy doing together, talking about etc.

Not to mention the fact that competition and winning can often lead to both increases in adrenaline and arousal.

Nintendo Switch – Neon Red and Neon Blue Joy-Con

I’m classically trained in Nintendo and Super Nintendo. I will destroy any person at Super Mario 3 or Paperboy, but put one of those new shooter games in front of me and I die within seconds.

I stopped playing right around puberty. I think for me it came down to prioritizing my time. I was playing real-life games aka basketball, volleyball, softball. I lost touch with the advancements in video game technology. My skills were stunted.

It’s weird because I would totally play now except I’ve tried and I suck. Here’s the deal with me, I don’t like losing. I don’t like being bad at something. When a guy tries to get me to play I know I will not be very successful and I hate the idea of failing in front of other people.

I’m the type that would secretly invest in a gaming system, learn how to defeat the entire thing and THEN go to the guy’s house and demolish him.


PlayStation 4 Pro 1TB Console

But, I don’t have the time or money for that. So instead I need to overcome my ego and learn to lose in front of others. It’s the best way to get better at something, you know, just trying to do it.

And that my friends is also a good way to approach dating. You’re not going to win them all. Sometimes you might get hit by a flying turtle within the first minute and be out right away. Other times you might make it all the way to the battle against Bowser and end up with the Princess in the end. Or perhaps, the princess will end up saving your ass. Only time and trial and error will work.

In the meantime, play on my friends, play on.

(And if you happen to be dressing up as either Luigi or Princess Peach tomorrow, let me know, wink wink.)

 
Morph Super Mario Luigi Wario and Waluigi Halloween Costume Also Available in Inflatable and Piggyback

Friday Feels: Life Without Sex

life without sex

Two Weeks Sex-Free

or

How Long Have You Gone Without Sex?

So, I was supposed to hang out with a man-friend last night but some dramatic happenings happened that prevented him from making it over. Honestly, I was tired anyway. I’ve been waking up at like 5.30 a.m. every day trying to get stuff done before people bother me. Turns out, people will bother you at any time of the day.

Anyway, when I woke up this morning I realized that it’s been over two weeks since I’ve had sex with another human being.

Two whole weeks.

The two-week mark is when I start to turn. I wilt. I shrivel up. I am not talking about my pussy here. I’m talking about my entire being.

One of two things tends to happen when I don’t have sex with another human being for an extended amount of time.

I become EVEN more irritable that I typically am. I know this is super hard to believe considering how irritable I can be, but trust me. I am a monster. If I’m not getting eaten that you can bet that I will eat your head off instead.

I get stupid horny. I will not even go into the weird things I have done to myself when I go to long without having sex. Some interesting objects have been used. Some interesting and some might suggest, gross, people have also been used.

Sometimes when I’m that super horny and I want to hump everything… I mean everything. I imagine that this is what it must be like for men ALL of the time. And though a lot of times a lot of ya’lls behavior is intolerable and fucked up, I can admit to UNDERSTANDING where you’re going from. It’s like your brain is completely blocked from all thought except getting off. The worst part is when that feeling can’t be satiated.

It’s like, hang me upside down on a clothesline and throw wet noodles on my back so I’ll at least think about something else for a moment. Or maybe I’d be into that in a weird kink way.

Anyhoo. What I’m most disturbed about is the fact that neither 1 or 2 has started to happen. I wonder if it’s because I’m waking up so early in the morning that my body is physically exhausted and my brain completely fried by the time I’d have time to even think about masturbating or sex with someone else. I was actually glad that my friend didn’t make it over because I could not get my sex-brain to turn on.

So, how long has it been for you? A day? 10 years?

How do you “overcome”? Do you even think about it anymore? Or are you thinking about it all the time?