Is Your Carrot a 10 out of 10? Find Out!

Donate & Get Your Carrot Rated

Aka Play the Carrot Challenge

Have you ever wanted someone to take a good look at your carrot and tell you the truth about what they’re seeing? Do you have a weird looking carrot hanging out in the back of your fridge right now? Are you bored? Feel like getting creative? Why not draw or paint a festive carrot and get it rated by a professional?

That’s right, for a limited time only, I, the Carrot Expert, am offering Carrot Ratings to any and all people who make a Donation to the Carrot Fund.

The Carrot Fund not only helps yours truly, but I will donate HALF of all the proceeds to artists, musicians, and service industry people who are now in super struggle mode due to our current world crisis.

That’s right. You send me a donation and a pic or video of your best carrot and I send you back your Carrot Rating—which is based on 10 specific criteria (see rules below).

Going cross-eyed by the girth of this carrot, baby.

So, you want to play the carrot game?

Here are the Carrot Rating Rules

Step 1: Make a Donation

50% of Proceeds will go to Artist, Musicians, Service Industry people /anyone out of work / struggling thru this quarantine.

Send Donations to:

  • Venmo: @Krystal-Fawn
  • Cashapp: $KrystalFawn

Put CARROT FUND + IG name (or email) in Comments

Step 2: Tell Me About It

Send me a message letting me know that you’ve sent the donation.

IG: goeatabiggercarrot

email: goeatacarrot@gmail.com

Once I confirm the donation has been made then I will give you the go ahead to send me over your favorite Carrot pics or video.

This can be the carrot in your pants, in your fridge, salad, on a painting, drawing, tattoo etc.  feel free to get creative (you’ll even get a point for that!)

I’ll take a good look and judge your Carrot according to my Carrot Rating System

You’ll get 1 point (or 0 points) for each of these ten categories:  

  1. Size
  2. Shape
  3. Color
  4. Creativity
  5. Grace
  6. Sense of Humor
  7. Mood
  8. Energy
  9. Hardiness
  10. Donation Amount

The best your carrot can score is a 10/10. Bonus to anyone who makes a SIZEABLE donation, I will add personal commentary about your carrot to the rating sheet. You’ll receive your Carrot Rating within 48 hours (depending on demand I will try my hardest to have them back to you within the same evening). 

Ready to play?

Show me what you got!

Send me those donations (I’m thinking anywhere between $10 and $100 but if you want to go bigger that’s always better IMO)…

Venmo @Krystal-Fawn

CashApp $KrystalFawn

Show me your best carrot (the more creative the better!)!!!
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Do We Really Want To Go Back to Normal?

Perhaps it’s time to envision a new way of being.

It’s pretty clear that the corona virus is changing the way that we exist on this planet. None of us having any idea how it is all going to unfold. Will medical professionals find a way to contain Covid-19? Even so, what happens when another virus pops up in its place? Is the economy going to tank? Will millions of lives be sacrificed to save it?

These are all things we’re about to find out.

While all of this is going down and we’re all quarantined in our selected locations, many of us jobless, many of us feeling very much non-essential right now, I encourage everyone to take an hour or however long and dive into your dreams. I’m not talking about the stories that play out in your subconscious when you’re asleep. I’m talking about what you dream about for your life.

If you could somehow reinvent how the world works, what would it look like?

Using your wildest imagination as we can only imagine as much as we know, what could humanity actually be?

Is it possible to live in a society that values people over profits?

What would a world without money look like?

Could a world exist where we valued giving, sharing, trading, more so than the dollar?

Is it possible to have gifts, to be creative, to encompass amazing personality characteristics without them being comodified? Without having to turn everything into a product or a brand?

What could a world without money do?

Our planet, our people need healed.

How does that work?

When someone gets sick should they get access to health care like any other person who gets sick?

When anyone rich or poor can catch viruses that kill, that can kill hundreds, thousands, millions of other people, shouldn’t we have systems in place to handle said situations?

Are you really THAT comfortable that you want to go back to how things were?

Was your life really THAT great? What deep down did you want out of life?

You say you just want a decent job and loving family… well WHY do you want a job? Is it for money? So you can provide for your loving family? Is it so you can buy all the things that you need to survive?

What if you already had all of those things?

Would you want a job so you felt like you had a ‘purpose’?

Why do you feel like you need a purpose to live?

And could you work, could you do the things that you loved doing, things that gave you ‘purpose’ if that’s what you truly needed without it being connected to income? Could you work on a farm or on a painting or mowing your neighbor’s lawn just because you enjoy the work and because it helps connect you to other people?

How attached are we to money that we need to go back to normal?

What if instead we created a new normal? A better normal? A normal where everyone thrived?

What would that look like to you?

Are you willing to get out of your comfort zone to get there?

If you’re not willing are you at least ready?

If life will never go back to normal then we need to start imagining a new world that aligns with what we want not what people with all the money think we need.

In the meantime, if you’re all alone might as well go F yourself. Here’s a coupon. XOXO

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The World is Canceled, What Now?

Corona Virus Got You Down?

All your plans are canceled? Not sure what to do with yourself? Tired of bingeing on Netflix? Not sure what social distancing really entails. Well, never you fear, I’ve spent a many years developing superb ‘hiding from people’ skills and I can tell you, you’re about to have a really good time. 

Here are 5 Things to Do While Social Distancing

  1. Finally read a GD book 

Isn’t it great that you now have all the time in the world to just sit back and catch up on your reading list? Perhaps you’re confused and do not know where to start. Well, if you already have a pile I suggest starting at the top of that. If you do not, here are some book suggestions based on our current corona virus / social distancing/ world canceled/ stuck at home / hermit life / situation we’re all in.

My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh

The Stranger in the Woods: The Extraordinary Life of the Last True Hermit by Michael Finkle

The Plague by Albert Camus

All My Friends Are Dead by Avery Monsen

The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are by Alan Watts

Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron 

2. Move That Ass

Sure you can’t go to the gym anymore but you can certainly step outside and go for a fucking walk. Just don’t touch anything or anyone when you do it. Get that vitamin D, it might the only D you get for a while. 

In addition to walking, you can find pretty decent gym replacement streaming videos on YouTube.

Two of my favorite streaming workout channels are: 

Sydney Cummings

Fitness Blender

3. Get Your Head Right

What a perfect time to go inside yourself and finally deal with some of your issues. No need to worry about making it to the party later or having to deal with anyone seeing your sad puffy eyes. Cry it out. Sit around and ‘be.’ Maybe meditate for a moment in time. Go down a YouTube hole and learn all about emotional maturity or overcoming bad habits or how to be alone etc. 

The School of Life videos are a good place to start:  

4. Love Yo’Self

There’s research out there that says masturbation actually improves your immunity. So, have at it, give yourself a hand or two, or if you’re tired of doing ALL the work, might I suggest Lelo’s F1 Developers Kit for penises and the Lelo Sona Cruise for clitorises. 


Lelo’s F1 Developer’s Kit

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5. Talk to Someone You Know Or Don’t Know

Have you been putting off making that phone call? How’s your mom doing? Want to tell an old girlfriend you’re still in love with her? Want to ask someone out after the world comes back on again? Bored? Lonely? Well, luckily the phone and the internet still work. So, call someone you know. Or maybe someone you don’t know?

Need further advice? Find me on Patreon for a 1-1 online chat.

Is Either Political Party Worth Fighting For?

Political polarization and our inability to move forward

I’ve been reading The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are by Alan Watts. My brain is exploding with each sentence. He’s dropping ideas that I’ve definitely thought about but never quite in the way he’s talking about them. Like, for example, in explaining God– God is trying to look at your own eye balls with your eyeballs without a mirror (not a direct quote, but I’ve been working through that one for a few days now.)  

Anyhoo. While reading the chapter called: ‘The Game of Black-and-White,’ Watts writes: 

“But the mistake in the beginning was to think of solids and space as two different things, instead of as two aspects of the same thing. The point is that they are different but inseparable, like the front end and rear end of a cat. Cut them apart, and the cat dies.” 

My immediate reaction to this was not about his actual argument, which is that we are all connected to the universe the way our lungs are connected to our body or limbs are connected to a tree etc. No, my first response was, ‘is this how we can finally end our polarized political system?’ 

If we replace ‘solids and space’ with ‘liberals and conservatives’ or ‘Democrats and Republicans,” then it goes to show, that like ‘lightness & darkness, ‘matter and space,’ ‘good and evil’ you can not understand one without the existence of the other. 

But in the case of the U.S. political system– do we need to? 

Is either side REALLY worth fighting for or could we potentially cut the tail from the head and let the cat die? 

It’s like it’s own microscopic circus and we’re all audience members cheering them on, but it’s just cheap entertainment. No substance. No actual policy changes. No real help to the people who need it. So, why have it at all? 

Why not let it die and try something different instead? 

Or we can continue to let the snake eat its own tail in this forever going cycle of nothing. Whichever.

But, no, really, what is the matter with Kansas? Part 1

No place like Kansas? Umm… There are actually a lot of places like Kansas. . . .

Conservatives and Liberals, it’s time to take a seat

I’ve been back living in rural Kansas for the last 20-ish days having taken a 13+ year break from the sunflower state with a 3-year-stop in Chicago and decade-long stop in Colorado.

Many people, mostly people not from here (and several from my exact small town) can’t seem to fathom what has gotten into me. It seems strange, absurd, crazy to move back to an area that, to put bluntly, is dying from the inside out. A place that to an outsider, is staunchly and stubbornly conservative with no hope for redemption of any kind –spiritual, economical, physical, mental, etc.

But, I’ve always been down for a challenge. I only gamble on a sure-thing. I play to win. (You get the gist.)

I wouldn’t have moved back here if I thought it was completely hopeless.

Every time I’ve come back to visit I’ve driven through these small towns and I’ve thought, ‘Wow, what the fuck happened here?’ Downtowns deteriorating, plywood up over historic building windows, movie theaters no longer showing, restaurants no longer serving, even the bars are washed up dry in many places.

If they’re not dead, they’re dying.

I’ve often asked myself, can rural America be resuscitated?

Most economists say no.

But when have Kansans’ ever gave a fuck about what economists think?

What I’ve always loved about the people from this state is that we’re all a bunch of weirdos. We’re free-thinkers. We’re rebellious. We’re strong as fuck.

The people here have always been innovative, they’ve always been able to DIY EVERYTHING, they’ve been tough and wild and funnier than anyone really anywhere outside of here. Not only that, but they’ve been fucking kind as fuck. I mean, real thoughtful folk that will give you the shirt off their back if you ask.

And yet.

Here we are.

All of us here, fucked.

Tell me you’re not.

Come on. Prove to me that everything around here is going real swell.

I’m not here to go into some sort of political rant that continues the polarization of our community. That’s useless.

I want to know if the people here can get back to those traits that are so rooted in our blood? And can these traits of strength, DIY, rebellion etc. be used to their fullest potential for positive change?

I do not care about your morality.

I care about your reality.

What is your reality?

Fuck democrat. Fuck republican.

Liberal, conservative, something in between, or outside of that– your morality could in fact be in direct conflict with your reality.

Put that bullshit aside. Take a minute and reflect on what your issues truly are.

I’m only through part one of What’s the Matter with Kansas? And though the book is like 16-years-old, not much has changed, mostly if anything, it has just gotten worse. The most vital take-away thus far is to REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU COME FROM.

Take Populism as an example.

  • People v. The Elite
  • Marginalized groups v. dominant power structures
  • 99% v. 1%
  • Poor v. Rich

This section of the book stuck out to me:

“This is not far from how the Populists saw their movement: as a sort of revelation, a moment when an entire generation of “Kansas fools” figured out that they’d been lied to all their lives. Whether it was Republicans or Democrats in charge, they believed, mainstream politics were a ‘sham battle’ distracting the nation from its real problem– corporate capitalism.”

Could it be that the main issues people are facing here are financial in nature? Or is everyone who lives in Kansas secretly into being financially dominated* and role-playing as pay pigs to the government and corporations and anyone else who asks for money and I just missed the memo?

Are we really going to sit around and play the part of the masochist in this brutal BDSM scene?

Just because we can handle the pain doesn’t mean we have to take it.

It’s time to change the rules of the game. It’s time to own our strengths, our weirdness, our rebellious nature. If no one else is going to do it right, it’s time we DIY.

I’m ready to work on the actual problems, the reality of the situation we are all facing. I’d love to hear your stories, your opinions, what your action-plans / thoughts are for improvement / empowerment / resuscitation are. Or, if you think I’m wrong, bring it on. I’m open to dialogue. I’m also okay with being wrong, if that means more things are right than I realized.

More to come soon on:

  • How political polarization has infiltrated our daily capitalistic purchases
  • Fucked up yet badass Kansas historical leaders and what they can teach us
  • The best of the best crowd commentary + clapbacks

*Financial domination is a fetish in the kink community based on power exchange where people (mostly men) enjoy having other people (mostly women) take their money (large sums of money) from them. If you are one of these people send me all of your money, I deserve it more than you. I’m at least going to do something useful with it. AKA change the world.

Here’s the link if you too want to read What’s the Matter with Kansas?: How Conservatives Won the Heart of America

Things I Learned from the Reality TV Show Polyamory: Married & Dating

showtime tv polyamory review

A Review of Showtime’s Polyamory: Married & Dating

Sometimes I wonder how or why my friends put up with me.

For instance, one of them has Showtime on Demand and for the past couple of weeks I have been going over to his house and binge-watching the crap about of Polyamory: Married & Dating until we finally finished the second season a few nights ago.

I don’t know what kept us going, except perhaps our mutual hatred for the show.

It came out in 2012 & 2013 so I get that I’m way behind the times but that’s what I get for not having Showtime (I also have missed out on The Knick, but that’s a different story for a different day).

Here’s what I’ve been saying for the longest time regarding monogamy v. polyamory–who cares they both suck and they’re both wonderful for their own reasons.     

I’ve had plenty of media exposure to monogamous structures that have made me want to not be monogamous, but this was the first time I got to watch a show that made me feel real turned off by the idea of polyamory too.

Yay?!?

I don’t know.

Showtime seemed to be trying too hard to make it sexy.  It was also pretty heteronormative (and white and middle class). Two male/female married couples living and playing together in a pod, and two triads both with one male and two females. In other words they could all pass as monogamous if they wanted to.  

That was the other thing that bothered me about the show. There was so much monogamy-shaming. Like, one of the beautiful elements of polyamory is the idea that you can create your own script, that you can form relationships how you want to–not how society attempts to define you–and yet many of these people seemed to think that showing even the slightest bit of monogamous behavior was BAD.

Or they would use monogamy-shaming to get what they wanted, for example, Michael basically manipulated Kamala into sharing her girlfriend to prove she was still poly (a reoccuring theme).

Time out.

When you’re poly you can have relationships with people without those people having relationships with other people you’re having relationships with. The guy clearly just wanted to have a threesome with two attractive women.

Which brings me to my next point. The women seemed to actually desire deep emotional connections with multiple people while the men seemed to desire straight up sex with as many people as they could get. The truth is that both ways are fine–if those ways are understood, but they never quite seemed to get there.

Now, I don’t know if some of these situations actually unfolded as we were shown or if the editors cut them a particular way to add more drama/suspense, but I do know that regardless it brought up two major things regarding human behavior that I found fascinating. Not only that, but it made me reflect upon my own life and examine how often I do similar things.

The Two Human Behaviors I Learned From Polyamory: Married & Dating

  1. People hear the things they want to hear not the things people actually say

My friend and I basically spent every episode yelling at the TV– “that’s NOT what he/she said.” We probably did this a million times. It was crazy how you’d listen to two people talk to each other and then later they’d make up sentences totally contradictory to the words you heard before.

Example:

Person 1:

I do not want you to go on a date with my girlfriend. If you’d like to have tea and chat I think that would be nice.

Person 2 [Later]: I can’t wait to go on my date with Person 1’s girlfriend, I hope we get to snuggle!

Ugh.

This show made me want to become a better listener. So, at least something was gained.

2. People will convince themselves of the most bullshit of bullshit when they’re trying to accept their own bad behavior (or the bad behavior of someone they love)

Example:

Kamala gives her new love interest a bj without her husband’s consent when they explicitly discussed how the two would not have sex until there was a verbal agreement regarding that activity. Her husband walks in on them while the blow job is happening and then Kamala pulls a Bill Clinton claiming they had not defined “what sex is,” –which came as quite a shock to me hearing that from a licensed sex therapist who clearly knows better.

I don’t even want to get started on the Tahl / Jen relationship; I will say this, he acted quite weasley and often found himself caught in a lie of his own doing and I wish she would have gotten out of that sooner.

But that’s the thing. We put up with a lot of bullshit when we’re in love with someone else. What polyamory should be teaching everyone regardless of their relationship structure choices is that COMMUNICATION is of utmost importance.

Sure, it might be painful to say the things you need to say and it might hurt even more to hear the things you don’t want to hear, but we’re talking about healthy relationships here.

Healthy. Relationships.

No matter what you choose, monogamy, polyamory, asexual hermit cave-living, single and slutty-in-the-city living, etc. it all comes down to knowing what you want and establishing the boundaries you need to make your relationships healthy.

Aka communication.

May we all find our words and our ears.

Another shout out to my friend for putting up with my bullshit and watching this show with me.

Get exclusives on my Patreon, if that’s the thing you’re into.

Read more about Polyamory with the book More Than Two.

Thirsty Thursday: Thoughts on No Nut November

Why Men Are Choosing Not to Masturbate

Men have really come up with interesting ways to torture themselves–and let’s face it, to also torture women in the process of torturing themselves.

First, there was No Shave November, which tortured many mens’ faces with terrible terrible facial hair looks. No, you do not look good with a moustache. No one looks good with a moustache. (Okay, there may be about three exceptions in the entire world, but I can take a gamble here and say your face is not one of them.)

And now there’s No Nut November.

A way to torture yourself by not allowing your penis to release any ejaculate for 30 days.

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The main philosophy of Go Eat A Carrot, is pleasure first. So, the idea of not masturbating (to completion) for an entire month could be viewed as going completely against my belief system. Yet, maybe not.

There is a beauty in the choice to take on anything challenging.

People go on food fasts all the time and since sex and food are on the same level of human need, I think it’s pretty easy to compare noFap to that.

I went through quite a few of the subReddit NoNutNomember posts in an attempt to better understand the motivations behind it.

I get that it’s a test of will power. Some claim to even improve mental clarity and come to terms with some deeper emotional issues that they’ve been covering up through porn and wanking.  

I’m a bit curious as to why masturbation seems so all-consuming to the No-Nutters. Like, it takes me less than 10 minutes a day to achieve and it’s actually good for one’s mental and physical health. Perhaps, if you’re spending hours upon hours watching porn and jerkin the gherkin than yeah, maybe taking some time off is a good idea.

This all comes down to your own personal state of well-being. You really need to ask yourself why you are compelled to stop doing something people do naturally all the time.

Has it become unnatural? Unpleasant? Is it over-taking your life? Does it just sound like a fun challenge? Do you feel the need to join a community of people who call you a soldier even though you prob have never served in any sort of military service? (That’s one of the things that’s the most bizzare about this newer trend, but I feel like I’ll just save that analysis for someone else to take care of as there’s too much to unpack with that in one blog.) Are you a masochists who like torturing yourself with ridiculous physical challenges? Do you have an issue with addiction? Are you curious to know if you can do it just based on that alone?

Are you also participating in No Shave November and because of that you realize no one will actually want to have sex with you while you have weird sad hair growing on your face?

Clearly, I have a lot of questions.

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In years past I’ve done my own Manless May thing. This was more so to cleanse my dating palate. To rediscover my wants, likes, desires. Of course, I still masturbated. And “manless” did not include “womanless,” but in any event, I do understand the motivations behind taking a break from something you do regularly. It gives you time to reflect on the why. It gives you time to reevaluate if that behavior is healthy or helpful. And then, when you do finally womp the weasel it could in fact be way MORE pleasurable just because you’ve restrained yourself for so long and built up the anticipation.

If you participated in No Nut November, please enlighten me on why, how, what etc. I’m genuinely curious. Also, if you need something to really get your December 1st going, I’ve got plenty of fapping materials for you to pursue through on my Patreon.

If you did wank this month or you didn’t wank this month you’re still a winner in my book.

Cheers.

Hear my thoughts on No Nut November here. 


Tits Out Tuesday: Free the Nipple Breast Anatomy 101

The Obsession with Tits and Freeing Them On the Internet  

or

How Do Boobs Work?

Boobs, tits, knockers, jugs, melons. There are hundreds of words out there that we use to describe breasts. The thing about these words is that they are sometimes not even close to being an accurate description. For instance, the use of the word “tit” to describe the entire boob area has always kind of weirded me out.


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The free the nipple movement and Tits Out Tuesday have the potential to help people understand some of the anatomical differences of the breast. The reasoning behind the free the nipple movement stems from two main issues:

1) freedom of speech 2) body oppression

In other words, it’s a double standard that men are allowed to be topless on social media sites and women are not. The difference is a sexualization of women’s bodies — the part most people are attracted to is actually the fat.

The female breast is comprised of muscle, fat, mammary ducts, lobules, the areola, and the nipple (there’s more too, but let’s keep it as simple as possible).

I’d like to point out that the areola and the nipple are two different things as many men have commented that I must have really large nipples, when in reality it’s the areola area that takes up more space on my boobs.


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Of course, boobs come in all shapes and sizes as we are all well aware. There are pointy boobs, round boobs, saggy boobs, perky boobs, boobs with very long nipples, boobs with inverted nipples, etc. Everyone who has boobs (unless they’re fake boobs) has asymmetrical boobs, that is, one is slightly (or more than slightly) larger than the other. This has to do with the fact that most people are left or right hand dominant and the use of one side of the body more than the other creates a natural change in size.

Perhaps most of us are attracted to the female breast because they represent the beginning of life. Without milk, babies wouldn’t survive. There’s the evolutionary allure that makes us perk up at the sight of nice breasts because it makes the person seem more sexually compatible, more likely to feed those babies real good. Or be fed real good. Or both.

The censorship of the breast is a censorship of human sexuality. It’s more acceptable to see violence than boobs, which is bullshit.

The Free the Nipple Movement has gained women some breast rights; in the sense that they can now post pics of themselves breastfeeding actual babies, but other than that the censorship is still rather ridiculous. Hence why there are so many emojis-over-the-tit pics running around out there.


If there was less of a taboo on seeing female boobs, would they have as much sexual appeal? The law of the forbidden would say, no. But, I don’t think it would completely end the sexual appeal because boobs will be boobs and they will always have the ability to lure people in.

The question then becomes, is there anything behind the boobs? For example, a heart? Or better yet, do that boobs come with brains? Does your boner? Things to really think about. In the meantime, if you want to look at some uncensored pics of my boobs you can join in on all of the exclusive content on my Patreon. The more the merrier! Hope to see you there.

Tits Out Tuesday: Why Are We Scared of Young Adult Sexuality?

children and sexuality discussion from book review all the ugly and wonderful things

The Odd Feelings That Arise Regarding Kids and Sex

or

All the Ugly and Wonderful Things Book Review

I just finished this work of fiction called All the Ugly and Wonderful Things, it was the 2016 Book of the Year Winner and the author Bryn Greenwood was raised and still lives in Kansas, which is pretty cool since I am from there myself.

Anyhoo. In this book a 10 year-old-girl and a 22-year-old-man fall in love with each other.

The author does a pretty good job at getting a well-rounded perspective on the situation, coming from multiple character points of view, yet the entire time I felt incredibly queasy.

I kept waiting for something to happen that I didn’t think would happen, like them parting ways for example, and yet the relationship kept developing fuller, deeper, creepier.

Now, I get that in other cultures many women marry right around the time of puberty. I suppose this makes sense in at least a biological way. I mean, what defines womanhood more than the ability to have children? (I am not saying having children makes someone a woman nor am I saying only humans who have periods are women, I know there might be some outrage here about this. I’m saying the ability to create and give birth is one major defining characteristic of feminine power.) Whatever, that’s not what this is about anyway.

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What this is about is how awkward and weird it is in the United States today for anything like a tween and an adult having sex / getting married to happen.

There are laws put in place by the government that dictates the age of consent.

It’s unfortunate that they can’t instead dictate the age of emotional intelligence with regards to sexual consent because that would actually make way more sense. For example, I’m sure there are some incredibly smart / self-reflective / emotionally mature 15-year-olds who could handle a romantic relationship with someone way better than some 45-year-olds could. And yet, many people would argue that no, a 15-year-old is not fully developed and thus cannot make those kinds of decisions.

I personally think it’s all situational and cannot be defined or boxed into a sweeping generalization based on age.

Should a 10-year-old and a 22-year-old fuck?

Nah. Prob not.

But if they wait ten years then 20 and 32 isn’t as weird. The whole life-experience thing really helps with these scenarios.

One thing I do think we’re missing culturally though is the understanding that children do have a sexual nature. Sure, they are not fully developed but how many kids strip their Barbies naked and have them rub against each other? How many dry hump their stuffed animals or play “doctor” (do they still call it that?) with each other when they’re supposed to be napping?


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Should they be shamed for this exploration? Shaming seems to be a pretty typical route in America when I’m wondering if there isn’t a better way to educate them at their level on understanding this secret adult world a little bit more? Wouldn’t this help with communication in the future when they’re old enough to explore? Wouldn’t this help them perhaps NOT get into some weird sex thing with someone twice their age?

Of course, the characters in this book had a slew of other fucked up things happen to them and thus the relationships that were created were way more complicated.

I get why so many people have hang-ups about sex. Our childhoods were a big part in shaping us into the weird prudish sluts that so many of us are.

Honestly, I’m just trying to come to terms with the uneasiness I felt from this story. Has anyone else read it? Here’s a link to All the Ugly and Wonderful Things if you haven’t and you’re interested in giving it a whirl. Would love to discuss either the book or some of the above topics, feel free to leave your comments below or email me directly.

Weird Sex Wednesday: How to Ask Someone to Shave Their Pubes

how to ask someone to shave their pubic hair

Is It Acceptable to Ask Someone To Shave?

Or

Body Hair, Pubes, And the Awkward Request to Remove It All

So, the other day this guy who I’ve been exploring life with starts to go down on me. I’m like, cool, awesome, great, oh, by the way, my pubic hair is a JUNGLE right now so have fun down there!

Halfway through, he stops. Starts like choke-spitting. I’m trying not to laugh, but of course, I can’t help it.

He gets up, goes to the bathroom, and basically gags himself while removing a long hair (or two or three) from the back of his throat.

It was a super sexy scene let me tell you.

Your Sexiest Christmas Ever

Typically I don’t shave ALL of my pubes off, usually, I keep it trim and tidy, but lately, I’ve let it go. I’ve gotten lazy. Or to be honest, I’m growing little fur friends for the winter. I think my pube-fur-friend might be a bit too wild though. So, in the next few days, I will attempt some sort of maintenance with it.

But as we all know, to each their own when it comes to what they want to do with their body hair. I want people to be able to eat me out without gagging so there’s that.

This morning I woke up to this question from a fan:

Being male and very visually stimulated ( which is why i follow your site…:)…) How is a diplomatic way I can ask my partner to shave or trim down there, so I can better see what is going on?

-Wanting to See it All

Sounds like a pretty hairy situation to me my friend.

There are a lot of politics surrounding the pubes these days. We all know that porn stars shave because they’re on camera and are attempting to give people a better view of their goods, they’re not doing it because it FEELS better. I mean, can you imagine 1. Having the hair on your entire pubic region covered in wax and then ripped off? 2. Having sex with your now sensitive exposed skin grinding over and over, rubbing, chafing against someone else’s newly exposed hairless skin? They do it because THEY GET PAID.

We all do it because we watch too much porn.

Now, I’m not saying any of us should watch less porn. I’m sure SOME of us should but that’s a different post for a different day.

Male Sex Toys 300x250

With regards to asking your partner to shave because it visually stimulates you and makes you excited, I’m thinking you could go with that?

“I enjoy your body just the way it is, but a trimmed up vulva-region really gets me excited. I’d love to be able to see more of you. I’m wondering if we could give it a try?”

I’d suggest offering something in exchange as well. For example, you can shave each other. Or if there’s something she’d like you to do that you haven’t done, perhaps finally offer that up. That could be anything from letting her stick a finger up your butt to finally remodeling the bathroom like you said you would years ago. Whatever, you get the idea.

We have to keep in mind that there is a multitude of reasons why people choose to keep their pubes. It could be political. It could be out of laziness. It could be because they like the way it feels more. It could be they’re lonely and want a little fur pet. They might be afraid of razors or wax or lasers. They might not like walking around naked with child-like body hair. Perhaps they’re trying to grow it out to donate it to Locks of Love?

So, yeah, in the end, if you’d like your partner to shave, just ask them politely, offer to help, offer something in return. Then respect whichever choice they make since it’s their body and they’re allowing you access to it when they don’t really have to.

(Of course if you REALLY hate pubes, you don’t have to access the pubed-body anymore and you could surely go out and date someone else, but I think that’s a bit extreme. It’s just hair after all).