Tits Out Tuesday: Why Are We Scared of Young Adult Sexuality?

children and sexuality discussion from book review all the ugly and wonderful things

The Odd Feelings That Arise Regarding Kids and Sex

or

All the Ugly and Wonderful Things Book Review

I just finished this work of fiction called All the Ugly and Wonderful Things, it was the 2016 Book of the Year Winner and the author Bryn Greenwood was raised and still lives in Kansas, which is pretty cool since I am from there myself.

Anyhoo. In this book a 10 year-old-girl and a 22-year-old-man fall in love with each other.

The author does a pretty good job at getting a well-rounded perspective on the situation, coming from multiple character points of view, yet the entire time I felt incredibly queasy.

I kept waiting for something to happen that I didn’t think would happen, like them parting ways for example, and yet the relationship kept developing fuller, deeper, creepier.

Now, I get that in other cultures many women marry right around the time of puberty. I suppose this makes sense in at least a biological way. I mean, what defines womanhood more than the ability to have children? (I am not saying having children makes someone a woman nor am I saying only humans who have periods are women, I know there might be some outrage here about this. I’m saying the ability to create and give birth is one major defining characteristic of feminine power.) Whatever, that’s not what this is about anyway.

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What this is about is how awkward and weird it is in the United States today for anything like a tween and an adult having sex / getting married to happen.

There are laws put in place by the government that dictates the age of consent.

It’s unfortunate that they can’t instead dictate the age of emotional intelligence with regards to sexual consent because that would actually make way more sense. For example, I’m sure there are some incredibly smart / self-reflective / emotionally mature 15-year-olds who could handle a romantic relationship with someone way better than some 45-year-olds could. And yet, many people would argue that no, a 15-year-old is not fully developed and thus cannot make those kinds of decisions.

I personally think it’s all situational and cannot be defined or boxed into a sweeping generalization based on age.

Should a 10-year-old and a 22-year-old fuck?

Nah. Prob not.

But if they wait ten years then 20 and 32 isn’t as weird. The whole life-experience thing really helps with these scenarios.

One thing I do think we’re missing culturally though is the understanding that children do have a sexual nature. Sure, they are not fully developed but how many kids strip their Barbies naked and have them rub against each other? How many dry hump their stuffed animals or play “doctor” (do they still call it that?) with each other when they’re supposed to be napping?


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Should they be shamed for this exploration? Shaming seems to be a pretty typical route in America when I’m wondering if there isn’t a better way to educate them at their level on understanding this secret adult world a little bit more? Wouldn’t this help with communication in the future when they’re old enough to explore? Wouldn’t this help them perhaps NOT get into some weird sex thing with someone twice their age?

Of course, the characters in this book had a slew of other fucked up things happen to them and thus the relationships that were created were way more complicated.

I get why so many people have hang-ups about sex. Our childhoods were a big part in shaping us into the weird prudish sluts that so many of us are.

Honestly, I’m just trying to come to terms with the uneasiness I felt from this story. Has anyone else read it? Here’s a link to All the Ugly and Wonderful Things if you haven’t and you’re interested in giving it a whirl. Would love to discuss either the book or some of the above topics, feel free to leave your comments below or email me directly.

Weird Sex Wednesday: How to Ask Someone to Shave Their Pubes

how to ask someone to shave their pubic hair

Is It Acceptable to Ask Someone To Shave?

Or

Body Hair, Pubes, And the Awkward Request to Remove It All

So, the other day this guy who I’ve been exploring life with starts to go down on me. I’m like, cool, awesome, great, oh, by the way, my pubic hair is a JUNGLE right now so have fun down there!

Halfway through, he stops. Starts like choke-spitting. I’m trying not to laugh, but of course, I can’t help it.

He gets up, goes to the bathroom, and basically gags himself while removing a long hair (or two or three) from the back of his throat.

It was a super sexy scene let me tell you.

Your Sexiest Christmas Ever

Typically I don’t shave ALL of my pubes off, usually, I keep it trim and tidy, but lately, I’ve let it go. I’ve gotten lazy. Or to be honest, I’m growing little fur friends for the winter. I think my pube-fur-friend might be a bit too wild though. So, in the next few days, I will attempt some sort of maintenance with it.

But as we all know, to each their own when it comes to what they want to do with their body hair. I want people to be able to eat me out without gagging so there’s that.

This morning I woke up to this question from a fan:

Being male and very visually stimulated ( which is why i follow your site…:)…) How is a diplomatic way I can ask my partner to shave or trim down there, so I can better see what is going on?

-Wanting to See it All

Sounds like a pretty hairy situation to me my friend.

There are a lot of politics surrounding the pubes these days. We all know that porn stars shave because they’re on camera and are attempting to give people a better view of their goods, they’re not doing it because it FEELS better. I mean, can you imagine 1. Having the hair on your entire pubic region covered in wax and then ripped off? 2. Having sex with your now sensitive exposed skin grinding over and over, rubbing, chafing against someone else’s newly exposed hairless skin? They do it because THEY GET PAID.

We all do it because we watch too much porn.

Now, I’m not saying any of us should watch less porn. I’m sure SOME of us should but that’s a different post for a different day.

Male Sex Toys 300x250

With regards to asking your partner to shave because it visually stimulates you and makes you excited, I’m thinking you could go with that?

“I enjoy your body just the way it is, but a trimmed up vulva-region really gets me excited. I’d love to be able to see more of you. I’m wondering if we could give it a try?”

I’d suggest offering something in exchange as well. For example, you can shave each other. Or if there’s something she’d like you to do that you haven’t done, perhaps finally offer that up. That could be anything from letting her stick a finger up your butt to finally remodeling the bathroom like you said you would years ago. Whatever, you get the idea.

We have to keep in mind that there is a multitude of reasons why people choose to keep their pubes. It could be political. It could be out of laziness. It could be because they like the way it feels more. It could be they’re lonely and want a little fur pet. They might be afraid of razors or wax or lasers. They might not like walking around naked with child-like body hair. Perhaps they’re trying to grow it out to donate it to Locks of Love?

So, yeah, in the end, if you’d like your partner to shave, just ask them politely, offer to help, offer something in return. Then respect whichever choice they make since it’s their body and they’re allowing you access to it when they don’t really have to.

(Of course if you REALLY hate pubes, you don’t have to access the pubed-body anymore and you could surely go out and date someone else, but I think that’s a bit extreme. It’s just hair after all).

Tits Out Tuesday: Video Games and Sexuality

cosplay mario from nintendo woman

Why Are So Many Men Into Female Gamers?

or

Gaming and Sexual Arousal Amongst Winners

Yesterday I ended up at a thrift store, while I was in said thrift store I happened upon this Mario Halloween costume. It was only $7. Even though it’s a size small and I am not a size small I had to get it anyway.

As many of you know from following my blog I have a Mario/Luigi/Princess Peach threesome fantasy. I had just said to my friend who was with me (prior to finding the costume) that if I had to pick between going as any of the three I’d want to be Mario because he’s the one I like the least. If I’m Mario then I don’t have to look at Mario.

Then the costume magically appeared before my eyes.


WSSHA Halloween Women’s Cosplay Super Mario Costume Dress

Does this mean I will find a Luigi / Princess Peach combo while I’m out and about? It seems possible. It seems probable. Why else would the costume randomly show up right after I mentioned it?

In any event, it’s gotten me thinking about sexuality and the gaming culture.

Anyone else find it fascinating how many (hetero) men are into female gamers and how many females are not into dudes who play video games all the time?

There are (hetero) women in the world who will refuse to date guys who play video games; they see it as a major red flag. They think the guy will never grow up, or get off the couch, or pay attention to them.

Those are all valid points.

I’d imagine that a lot of these women have experienced those issues in the past and prefer not to repeat them.

It seems pretty obvious that men are into female gamers because it gives them something to bond over, to enjoy doing together, talking about etc.

Not to mention the fact that competition and winning can often lead to both increases in adrenaline and arousal.

Nintendo Switch – Neon Red and Neon Blue Joy-Con

I’m classically trained in Nintendo and Super Nintendo. I will destroy any person at Super Mario 3 or Paperboy, but put one of those new shooter games in front of me and I die within seconds.

I stopped playing right around puberty. I think for me it came down to prioritizing my time. I was playing real-life games aka basketball, volleyball, softball. I lost touch with the advancements in video game technology. My skills were stunted.

It’s weird because I would totally play now except I’ve tried and I suck. Here’s the deal with me, I don’t like losing. I don’t like being bad at something. When a guy tries to get me to play I know I will not be very successful and I hate the idea of failing in front of other people.

I’m the type that would secretly invest in a gaming system, learn how to defeat the entire thing and THEN go to the guy’s house and demolish him.


PlayStation 4 Pro 1TB Console

But, I don’t have the time or money for that. So instead I need to overcome my ego and learn to lose in front of others. It’s the best way to get better at something, you know, just trying to do it.

And that my friends is also a good way to approach dating. You’re not going to win them all. Sometimes you might get hit by a flying turtle within the first minute and be out right away. Other times you might make it all the way to the battle against Bowser and end up with the Princess in the end. Or perhaps, the princess will end up saving your ass. Only time and trial and error will work.

In the meantime, play on my friends, play on.

(And if you happen to be dressing up as either Luigi or Princess Peach tomorrow, let me know, wink wink.)

 
Morph Super Mario Luigi Wario and Waluigi Halloween Costume Also Available in Inflatable and Piggyback

Sliding Into My DMs Part 2

sexy nun reads instagram direct messages

Men Love Sliding Into My DMs

or

Some of Your Most Popular Sex Questions Answered

As many of you know I’ve not been able to upload YouTube videos for two weeks due to another strike on my account. It was my fault and I have done my time. Anyway here’s a video of me answering some of your most pressing direct messages.

P.S.

Try more than a “heyyy” . . . just saying.

men who slide into Direct messages

What do you do? I’m interested in your services if I think it’s what I’m thinking…
Can I pay you to have sex with me?

What a great question! Here’s the deal. It’s actually illegal in the United States to get paid to have sex with a person. I know, I know, there are plenty of people who do it and more power to them. Personally, I think sex work should be legalized. It would cut down on a lot of violence and sexual health issues because it would be better regulated. Plus, let’s take for a second to recognize all the people with disabilities, both physically and mentally that make it difficult for them to find partners. There’s nothing wrong with being a sexual being or paying to have sexual gratification. It’s not called the oldest profession for nothing. Legally though, I have to decline this offer. If you want to pay me for my time, totally different story, it’s called consulting.

when men have a question

Hey I have a question

Okay. Ask it.

older women interested in younger women

Do you like younger men?

I get asked this a lot. Like all the time. And as I’ve said many many times before age, race, gender, I don’t care about that. What I do care about is your personality. If you have a terrible personality I’m not going to want to have any sort of relations with you; I know this because I have gone out with and even slept with, plenty of people with terrible personalities and I’m trying to un-do, un-learn old bad habits and patterns.

men horny


What a man gotta do to get frisky??!

I’d suggest perhaps indulging in some aphrodisiacs–chocolate, oysters, avocado. Perhaps watch some softcore porn. Maybe go down a deep Instagram hole where you discover pics and videos of people doing things that make you feel sexy. I’m not really sure what most men do to get frisky, I guess I always assumed it came naturally to them, but I get that some people regardless of gender have a harder time getting turned on.

Thanks for the messages, everyone. As you can imagine I do not have time to answer them all, but I appreciate you trying anyway. Every once in a while there’s a chance that I could get back to you, either here or privately. Thanks for reading and watching and don’t forget to follow me on Patreon for more (and yes I mean for pics of my tits if that’s what you’re really looking for).

Tits Out Truth Bombs Tuesday: What’s the Link Between Sex and Violence?

sex, violence, marriage, testosterone, social media, mob violence, criminal behavior

The Correlation Between Sex and Violence

or

Why Are Men So Mean Sometimes?

Male Sex Toys 728X90

Over the past few days my manfriend and I have been binge-watching Hannibal (on amazon prime). It’s an incredibly violent television show as you may imagine since it’s based off of the books Red Dragon and Hannibal by Thomas Harris. A psychological thriller with death everywhere. So much death that in the 13+ episodes we’ve made it through there’s only been one romantic moment — a kiss — and no sex whatsoever. In any event, my friend and I got into a discussion about the correlation between violence and sex. He claimed that they were “the same thing” whereas I begged to differ.

 Watch Hannibal Today

Since that time I’ve been doing some research and I’ve come across some very interesting articles on this very subject. It turns out there’s a pretty big correlation between the two, though it is not quite right to say they are “the same thing.”

Discover Fifty Shades Darker

Here are six interesting facts (theories and research developments) I’ve come across during my internet dive into this fascinating topic of sex and violence.

1. On Female Sexual Liberation

In the Psychology Today article, Why Sex and Violence Go Together, the author writes:

“young males are at the highest risk of criminal offending, and violent crime is more common in societies where female sexuality is more liberated.”

This has to do with competition for sex. From my understanding of this article, when there is a likelihood of getting some, many men will get violent in order to get it. They commit criminal acts often as a way to prove that they are stronger, more “manly” than others. Many of the crimes committed in this research were deemed “trivial altercations.” They act out to “save face,” because they believe that women don’t like to date “losers.”

Could it be possible that this rise in female sexual empowerment is causing men to revert back to baser more animalistic behavior? Or is this just another man blaming women for men’s actions instead of owning the fact that men choose to behave in these ways? And yes, I use the word “choose,” because there has to be accountability for these acts of anger and aggression or why have a higher more developed consciousness at all?

Jive by We-Vibe

2. Sex, Marriage, and Violence

From the same article:

When men get married their testosterone level drops and so to do incidents of their violent behavior. Also interestingly enough:

“When men divorce, and begin dating again, their testosterone level rises compared to men remaining married.”

And thus, the divorced men become more aggressive and violent.

Does the testosterone level drop in marriage because they have secured a partner and can relax? Or does it drop because of their closer proximity to estrogen? Perhaps a mixture of both? It’s apparent that it rises again after divorce due to the fact that they have to go back out in the field and compete for a mate. Is the aggression because of the testosterone or because they’re angry about their divorce… or both?

Gifts for Brinds

3. Sex, Violence and Video Games

A study revealed that women are actually more affected sexually by video games than men. At first the article made it seem like the woman were aroused by the violent video games themselves but after a closer reading it seems like the games actually give women a confidence boost and make them think they are a “better catch,” than the women in the study who did not play the games. You can read all about it in the Bustle article, Violence Makes You Feel Sexy.

4. Social Media, Sex, and Violence

In the same Bustle article researchers found that people who tweet are actually more aroused than those who don’t.

“A 2011 survey by OKCupid found that their tweeting members masturbated more. Apparently those who tweeted twice a day or more also masturbated twice as much as those who didn’t try to get all witty with only 140 characters.”

How is this related to violence? The article didn’t claim that it was, but I’m curious if people are getting angry at everything happening in the world and then choosing to turn the Twitter off and watch some porn instead to release some of that pent up aggression.

5. Your Brain on Sex and Violence

From Psychology Today:

“Both aggression and sex are controlled by neurons in the same part of the brain–the hypothalamic attack region. When researchers stimulate these neurons with electrodes in the brains of mice, the animals instantly engage in violence or in mating, depending on how strongly the neurons are stimulated.”

According to the article, researchers were able to control the intensity of stimulation of these neurons and thus were able to switch the animals behavior between mating and fighting depending on the level of intensity.

This is pretty nuts when you think about how close to proximity they are and how easy one can turn into the other. Is there a way to control this outside of a lab? Will there ever be a way? If so, could this actually help ease violence in humans if we took away the ability to over-stimulate these neurons? I do not know, I am not a scientist, but it is interesting to consider.

Motorhead - the Official Pleasure Collection

6. Violence and Sex in Crowds

According to the same article from Psychology Today:

“ The chaos of large crowds increase the risk of sexual assault on women….”

The over-stimulation of the senses and the heightened stress of being at places like concerts, subways, mass celebrations, etc. triggers mob violence.

“Mob behavior is driven by the strong herding instinct of people to do as they see others do when there is no central authority in control. At the opposite extreme, this same powerful herding instinct can cause bystander apathy in which no one in a crowd comes to the aid of a person in need.”

The article goes on to list way too many examples of women being sexually assaulted and raped at these overpopulated events. I often thought there were always less women at concerts etc. because of the difference in economic security, but perhaps many women instinctively feel it’s safer to stay away. I mean I get it, being in a large crowd can make anyone feel stressed, irritated, angry, but turning to violent behavior like this is primitive and unacceptable. If you’re the type of person who cannot control your own emotions and/or keep it in your pants, perhaps you’re the one who shouldn’t go out in public?

So, even though there is a ton of different research that happens to offer a connection between the two and even though rough sex can even be fun, sex and violence are not the same thing, not matter how much Hannibal wants to convince you otherwise, fucking freak.

P.S. I’ll be analyzing BDSM and the attraction many of us have to it soon, so stay tuned and it is quite relatable!

Thanks for reading.

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Masturbation Monday: Why Men Wanking Off Is Such an Embarrassment

men having sex with themselves

Choke the Chicken, Flog the Hog, Yank the Crank

or

Male Masturbation Gets the Shaft

I talk about fucking myself ALL the time. Most people do not do this. Most people keep their wanking off stories to themselves. I suppose this makes sense. Most people do not go around talking about how much they enjoy brushing their teeth, what the best toothbrushes are, how to really get in there with the bristles and get that gum disease off. So, I get why it might be a mundane subject to people. Because, yes, masturbation should be part of every person’s daily maintenance just like brushing one’s teeth.

So why is there so much stigma around dudes’ cuffing their carrots?

It probably has something to do with the phallocentrism that pops up all over our earth and of course, let us not forget the patriarchy.

We get it. You have a PENIS! Congrats.

The rest of the world doesn’t need to hear or see or smell anything to do with it. Keep it in your pants! Or take it out, buff the banana, and carry on your day.

You’re horny. You watch porn. You take pics of your dick and send it out to randos hoping one or two may bite–not literally– and send you some sexy pics back.

The stigma stems from TMD. Too much dick.

It’s a culture oversaturated — not by seeing dick necessarily — but by the unseen dicks’ need to shower the world with its creamy milk juice (over and over and over again).

Of course, this stigma makes talking about male masturbation as an art much harder.

For example, guys are not going around discussing tips for better baloney boppin.

Don’t even get me started on the toy industry! There are SOME good toys for the penis, but of course clits & g-spots by far rule this market.

Is talking about male masturbation in a mature way even possible? I don’t know. That’s the other thing about pounding the flounder, it’s almost always portrayed in mass media as something funny. Because the penis is funny let’s be honest. Sure, it’s sexy and hard and like a powerful rod of magic and delight, but still, male masturbation does not have the same sort of appeal as say ass fucking does or even watching a hot girl stick a wet carrot in her mouth.

I don’t know guys. You tell me. This is just round 1 on this topic as I feel like I have a lot to learn and I’m relying on YOU to inform me. So comment below or send me an email. Let me know your thoughts on the stigma surrounding teasing the weasel.

Also– buy this if you want a good male masturbator:

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Sometimes The Hardest Thing To Do Is Get Out of Bed

depression anger heat sadness

Yes, I’m Still Stuck In Bed, But I’m Working

or

Help! Send Food. And Beer.

Sure. I like talking about SEX. But that was never the entire intention of Go Eat a Carrot. The purpose was for me to let loose on all the truth I have bottled up in me. And what’s true today is that I’m tired of trying to conform to other people’s desires. Yes, there’s an entire world out there of sexploration to be had, but I’m not in the mood.

There I said it, the horniest woman on the planet is not in the mood.

We must have entered an alternate universe.

I’m hot. I’m overheated. I’m bordering the line of anger and depression. I could cave in and just embrace the gray but why do that when I can fight it off?

I haven’t been to the grocery store in weeks. The last thing I ate yesterday was BBQ leftover from my friend’s 4th of July party. You know, a party that happened more than a week ago. Somehow I’m still alive and mostly getting all of my calories from beer, which I also ran out of last night.

You know in Denver you can get all of the above delivered to you? Groceries, beer, even sex if you know how to use Tinder right.

But I refuse! I have two legs. I can walk to the store. Yet, I don’t. I open the fridge and go,

‘oh look, three rotting limes and one old carrot. Guess I’ll come back and look in here again in 15 minutes and hope things have changed.”

At least I still have hope even though nothing changes unless you actually do the things that make changes, hence why I’m still stuck here, hungry, thinking about making a lime/carrot juice.

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