Enneagrams, Russian Doll, and Killing Yourself

killing the self

A Mental Health Update

Yesterday I went to a therapist for the first time in my entire life.

I’ve been overcoming depression on and off for about twenty years give or take. It’s not that I’ve ever necessarily been afraid to go to therapy. I tell strangers my problems all the time over the internet. I’ve always thought that I could work through everything myself, I thought I was strong enough, that comparatively my problems were nothing.

Well, a few things happened all at once to finally get me to make the call. First, I ended yet another toxic relationship. Then, I went to Planned Parenthood after the end of this toxic relationship and discovered my pH balance in my vagina was off. Shock shock. Not a big deal. This happens to women all the time, we just tend to keep it to ourselves. They put me on antibiotics and thus for the last week I have not been drinking. I’ve instead been filling my time with a lot of reading and a lot of Netflixing.

Broad City Collection

One of the many books I’ve been plowing through is a book about Understanding the Enneagrams. At first, I thought this whole thing was going to be bullshit but bullshit can be entertaining. Initially, I was drawn to it from a writer’s perspective to better understand the motivations behind different people’s actions and reactions. Enneagrams divide people into 9 different personality types that continue to get more complicated and nuanced as you learn more.

As I was reading it I found that people I know fit within certain numbers perfectly. Like the guy I fell for most recently was an unhealthy 3; no self-worth thus manipulates and deceits people until he brings them down to his level. I found myself too. I’m an 8. The Challenger. The Challenger rises from a loss of innocence that can then manifest itself in lustful ways.

Fast forward.

I’m binge-watching Russian Doll on Netflix. I love Natasha Lyonne and Chloe Sevigny. I stick with it even though it starts off as this Groundhog’s Day-esque format of which makes me go mad. Yet, I put my anxiety on hold.

There was something quite powerful with this show even though the repetition of repeating the same day can make a person crazy, which is exactly the point, right? You keep getting thrown these same situations over and over because you’ve never solved the problem you were meant to solve.

The only difference is that our patterns come back with different masks, we don’t get a do-over. (I will not go down the rabbit hole of alternative dimensions today because that just gets complicated.)

Anyway, so we can see the main character repeating the same patterns within the same time frame of a day, day after day, but it’s just the same as us waking up day after different day and getting to try again.

At the end, she is finally confronted with her loss of innocence. She has no where else to go and must take the steps to overcome the pain of her past. She has to kill the part of herself that she no longer the needs. The part of herself that has been trying to protect her all of these years but has instead started to do the opposite. This is not a physical death. It is a letting go.  

Is this character an enneagram 8? Most def.  

Is this all just coincidentally unfolding right here right now for me? Nah. It’s time.

It’s time for me to take proactive steps to stop my pattern that are holding me back.  Sure, I’m strong, but I’m stronger now because I can admit that I can’t do everything on my own.

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Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas For All Kinds

valentines day gifts

Discover These Unique Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas

Sexy, Romantic, or Cute: Valentine’s Day Gifts

No matter if you’re shopping for a lover, friend, or yourself, discover these Valentine’s Day gift ideas as you celebrate the season of love.

Rev Up The Sexy

Sure, you could select erotic lacy lingerie or you could step it up a notch with a sex toy (or 12) guaranteed to keep the orgasms a coming.

There are so many options on the market these days from couples toys to male masturbators to clitoral vibrators, it would be hard to go wrong, especially if you’re picking from the high-end companies like Lelo, We-Vibe, Fun Factory etc.

If you really want to go all kinked out and have a bunch of extra cash just hanging around (lucky you) Lelo has this pretty amazing Anniversary Gift Set full of a dozen of crazy high-end contraptions that comes in its own suitcase (including handcuffs, impact toys, and vibrators).

If $1900 is out of your price range there are two other Pleasure Set options that look like a ton of fun.

Explore the Kit and other Lelo Products here. (Plus Lelo is offering 25% off and a free gift on your order this month.)

Pour Your Heart Out

Or hire someone else to do it for you. What’s more romantic than a customized poem? With Abigail Mott Poetry select a topic of your choice, fill her in on some of the juicy details of your love life and she’ll use her vintage typewriter to create words that that will capture the inner workings of your soul. What better way to express your deepest feelings?!

These poems also make great wedding gifts, friend gifts, or even gifts for your mother.

Order your specialized poem here.

Get Tipsy With It

This one is simple, cute, and delicious. Buy your special someone their favorite beer and write a note on it that says, “Will You Beer My Valentine?”

Of course, if you don’t have a special someone you can just buy some beer for yourself and enjoy a night of lowered inhibitions and warm fuzzy thoughts.

This Portable Beer Dispenser could be a nice addition to the beer if you’re looking to up-level the drinking experience.

Shop for it here.

Whatever you do this Valentine’s Day I hope it’s filled with love, at the very least for yourself. If you’d like to share some love with me and get exclusives you won’t find anywhere else come join us on Patreon.

Uncuffed and Alone: An Exercise to Help You Get More (And Better) Dates

tips for better dating

A Tip for Better Dating

Love, Romance, And The Art of Being

So, you survived the holiday season as a single entity. January has been alright since everyone is all about getting healthy and transforming into a new ‘you’ blah blah. But, the season of love approaches and your dating life has seen better days.

I’m going to offer a simple exercise to add to your daily life to potentially improve your dating life, because just like one would do crunches in order to strengthen their ab muscles one must also actively exercise their social skills.

I’m not going to tell you to delete your dating apps or to learn to love yourself more, I think both of those suggestions lean on the bullshit side of things.

Sure, dating apps can be discouraging, to say the least, but they are but one resource, one tool, in the world of romance and you might as well use all that you have, right? Because you never know. You definitely won’t know if you don’t try.

Male Sex Toys 300x250

I also want to take a minute to unpack the concept of “learning to love yourself more.”

I mean, is wanting to have a meaningful relationship with another person keeping you from loving yourself? No.

Are you living your life doing the things you want to do?

Are you working on your own personal growth and development in the best way you can?

Because here’s the thing, we all do the best we can at the place that we’re at. Some days are going to better than other days. Some days you might be hard on yourself or be annoyed with yourself but that doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself enough.

What right does anyone else have to tell you how much love you have for yourself?

It’s sort of like when someone suggests that you “just be yourself,” as if that means anything, as if it was possible to somehow transform suddenly into another body with another personality.

If people were really trying to give you some good advice, the best advice would be to cut the “yourself” from the phrase and to suggest that you “just be.”

To be present in the moment that you are in and to not attach yourself so severely to your thoughts or your emotions.

Do you remember a time when you were angry or joyful or afraid? You can feel how that feeling felt but you also know that it’s a memory and you weren’t stuck in that feeling for your entire life. In that sense, when feelings arise in the present you can remember that they will not necessarily stick around either. This is an important skill to have in not just your dating life but life in general and is a much better suggestion than learning to love yourself more.

But, I digress.

Here’s a simple exercise to add to your everyday life. When you venture out into the world, try for the next couple of weeks to engage in conversation with at least 3 random people every day. I’m talking complete strangers–old ladies, kids, teachers, baristas, neighbors, friends of friends etc.

No, it doesn’t count to say, ‘how are doing’ to the guy at 711 every morning when you buy your doughnut or whatever, that’s just being a decent human being. I am suggesting a short dialogue involving at least one question that requires an answer beyond “fine.”

I know that this task may sound daunting to some people. Start with talking to one random person and go from there if three overwhelms you, but let me breakdown why this exercise has the potential to help your dating life.

Talking to strangers opens up connections. Suddenly, you and the people you interact with will feel a little less alone in the world. It’s a small act that contains much larger consequences. It’s recognizing our humanity. It’s a way to push yourself out of your comfort zone and break the invisible wall that we all often put up while in public spaces. It’s a way to be more engaged in your surroundings. It’s a way to make you an active participant in your own life, to write your own script instead of just watching your story unfold like a passive consumer.

Plus, you never know who you might meet. Once you’re at ease talking to someone else’s grandma or your best friend’s random cousin, it will not be out of character for you to talk to a random person you’re actually attracted. It will come out naturally. You will not be invested in the outcome but present in the moment of the interaction and thus will be more confident.

People are attracted to other people who are confident. We all know this, but many people don’t understand what it means or how to gain it, and I’m telling you right now. You have to hurl yourself into the unfamiliar until the unfamiliar is familiar.  

You think I’m being overdramatic, I dare you to give it a try.

Here’s a short example of something that could happen. Let’s say you enjoy reading books, so one day you go to the bookstore and you’re hanging out in your favorite genre section. While you’re there you see an older woman in her 50s also browsing. So, you say something along the lines of,

“Excuse me. Hello. I just finished a really amazing book about _____ and now I’m afraid that nothing I pick will live up to its amazingness. Do you have any recommendations on amazing life-changing books? I feel it’s always better to ask another book lover than to just randomly pick something.”  

Somehow you get into this crazy conversation about books and the best authors in the entire world.

As you’re wrapping up she says something like, “You know what, I think my niece would get a kick out of you. Are you seeing anyone?” And then, whoa, you just randomly got set up on a blind date.

OR nothing like that happens but you did just have an amazing conversation AND found a new book to read.

See where i’m going here?

Movember

Anyhoo. I am also single. So, if you’re willing to do this, I will do this as well because nothing is more bullshit than someone who tells someone else to try something that they aren’t willing to do themselves.

There will be days when you are just not in the mood. I would suggest to try it anyway because it’s the type of thing that could actually get you out of that mood.

Keep me posted on what happens, how you feel, etc. This shall be quite fun.

Enjoy this article? Want more? Get exclusives by joining the badasses on my Patreon. Or show your support by sending me a gift off my Amazon Wish List or just straight-up send me money. This goddess would love some more money.

Kinky Holiday Gifts Disguised As Regular Presents

Three Gift Ideas for the Kink At Heart

Nothing says, “I love you,” like presents that have multiple purposes. Why not give the gift of pervertables this year? Here are three things that can be used in everyday life and also in the bedroom to add some kink to your play time.

Heart-Shaped Wooden Spoons

These are both beautiful and naughty. Use them to stir up some soup or take them to the bedroom and spank the night away.

Get them here.

Coconut Oil

This is one the most versatile oils money can buy. Not only can you use it for cooking you can also use it for hundreds of other things from cuticle softener, make-up remover, lotion, and as a massage oil.


Buy a nice bottle here.

Big Plushy Towels

Sure, they look innocent enough, but what happens when you wring them up and slap someone’s ass with them? They’re also nice to put down if you or someone you know happens to be a squirter. 

Buy super soft plushy towels here. 

Want to get actual sex toys for you or your loved ones this holiday season? Check out my video that lists some of the best options out there. 

How to Holiday Whiskey Cocktail: The Randy Reindeer


A Simple Cocktail that Will Knock Your Tail Off

It’s that time of the month again. No, not time for Aunt Flo to visit; time for whiskey flow to visit. I don’t know about you all but I’m pretty seasonal when it comes to the alcohol I’m drinking. I prefer whiskey in the late fall and winter. Whiskey warms you from the inside out. That’s why I’ve create the Randy Reindeer, a simple whiskey cocktail recipe that you can make in under a minute. You never know how quickly you might need a drink over the holiday season.

Your Sexiest Christmas Ever

Booze and the holiday season always reminds me of one special Christmas way back when I was a freshman in High School. This is a story that I only told me family about last year and they were drunk so they probably don’t remember it. In other words, if you happen to actually know my family, how about you keep your mouth shut about this one, okay?

Anyway. My mom’s favorite drink is a long island iced tea. Since her birthday is a few days before Christmas it is often the case that these are the holiday drink of choice for the adults partaking. During this one particular year, when I was about 15, my mom and grandma and maybe an aunt or two all made themselves these giant long island drinks. If you are unfamiliar a Long Island is all the clear liquors (gin, vodka, tequila, triple sec and rum) + sweet and sour + coca cola / pepsi. Well, this year they all started sipping on their drinks then they started snarling their noses.

“This taste watered down to you?”

“Yeah. You think the ice melted too fast or what?”

“Maybe. Something tastes off.”

“It’s definitely not the best one I’ve ever had.”

“No.”

Meanwhile, I’m sitting in the kitchen with them all trying really hard not to make any sort of facial signs to indicate my guilt. I wanted to both laugh and run out of the room at the same time in order to not get my ass kicked. You see, a month earlier I happened to switch out the vodka under my mom’s sink with water. I assumed no one would notice since the drinks are already so strong, but of course, I was young and dumb and wrong.

I let them drink their watered down drinks never saying a peep about it for over a decade.

This was of course way better than the time during another Christmas when my cousin and I got drunk while no one was looking and then when we were leaving my parents were like, “guess who’s driving home?! The sober teenager.” And looked at me. I can’t remember how I got out of that one exactly, but we’re all still here so I guess I did something right even though I’m so good at doing things all naughty like.

Just like Randi the Reindeer!

Get the Ugly Reindeer Holiday Sweater Here!

In honor of the erotic story about Randi the Reindeer that you can hear my read on Patreon tomorrow, here is the Randy Reindeer Whiskey cocktail drink.

The Randy Reindeer

1 shot of whiskey (I used Bulleit bourbon)

Fill with Apple Cider

Garnish with Cinnamon Stick and Carrot

(You can either go warm or cold with this drink so toss in some ice or use apple cider that’s already been warmed up.)

Drink up.

Get the Probably Whiskey mug here.

Cheers!

Here’s Randi the Reindeer Making the Drink on Camera

Thirsty yet?


Loving Being Alone v. Longing in Love

Tits Out Truth Bombs Tuesday

Is it Better to Be Alone or to Be in Longing?

We live in a culture that’s obsessed with love. Most people who aren’t in romantic relationships are in a sort of perpetual continual search for “the one,” while many who are with someone are in a continuous state of questioning whether the one they are with is “the one.”

To love ourselves is hard work, to love someone else is even harder.

To love someone who doesn’t love us back the way we want them to love us is torture.

Either way, whether you’re alone, in longing, or in reciprocal love there will always be pain.

The question comes down to what kind of pain can you most tolerate?

Your Sexiest Christmas Ever

When you’re alone the pain seems to often manifest as boredom, a feeling of not being connected, accepted, understood. The pain of always having to make yourself happy.

When you’re in reciprocal love there’s the pain of frustrations, compromises, continual communication, perhaps irritation from being around someone all the time. The annoyance of not being understood by someone you thought understood you more than anyone else.

Longing for love is completely misery, anxiety, fear. It’s a desperation close to walking through the desert without any water. Fantasy

Of course, with the pain there is also pleasure.

Alone you have your freedoms. You have the capability to explore more of your own internal workings, to come to peace with your quirks and idiosyncrasies, to be weird without anyone else being able to judge it.

Reciprocal love gives both people added joy to their days and sex, let’s not forget about that.

Longing in love creates a world of fantasy. You can imagine a whole alternative world where you live happily ever after and within that fantasy you might be better off than in any reality of being with the actual person.

Because the truth of the matter is that along with all of our positive traits we all have flaws and annoying behaviors. These can range in scope from something as insignificant as smacking our mouths together when we eat to even bigger issues like avoidant behavior or straight up manipulation.

There’s the running argument that people need to be with other people. We’re pack-animals. Tribal. Our survival rests on each of us contributing, helping, supporting each other. Yet, how much of this needs to happen in a romantic way? In a monogamous way?

Would it be so bad to be alone yet have intimate non-sexual relationships with friends and family? Maybe we’ve all been approaching this all wrong? Perhaps we’re obsessed with the concept of love because we’re so bombarded by it every day? We’re bombarded by it because it creates such a huge distraction from dealing with our own shit. We’re bombarded with it because it helps keep our society running from the obvious reproductive side to the financial side of everything that goes into dating and marriage (fitness, appearance cost, dinners, houses, gifts, parties, booze etc).

If we all stopped collectively being obsessed with finding the one, if we let go of our longing for that which would never really work anyway, would that completely change our cultural landscape? And would that shift be better or worse?

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It definitely wouldn’t hurt to take a step back and reevaluate it all that’s for sure. When we remove ourselves from the center of the situation it is often much more easier to see what’s really going on. Sure, love is a beautiful way of being but there are many ways to do it and it just might be time to try some alternative ways.

More thoughts on getting over longing, from this deer. 


Holiday Single Survival: What To Say When The Dreaded Question Pops Up

When Your Family Asks About Your Dating Life

I love going home for the holidays. All I do is eat food, cruise around the gravel roads looking for deer, drink beer, watch terrible cable tv, laugh with my family etc. I’ve been single for a long time. So long in fact that I can’t even think of the last person I took home over Christmas to introduce to my family. I’ve become a professional at dealing with the question. You know what I’m talking about. You’re at the dinner table or you’re all drinking Long Island Iced Teas while eating pounds of desserts your mom has been baking all month, everything going along swimmingly when out of nowhere, someone, most likely your mother or your best friend from high school has to ask, “So, you seeing anyone special?”

Perhaps this question doesn’t bother you. If that’s the case, see you at my next blog. If you are single and it does get under your skin, here are some suggested clapbacks and/or legitimate responses.

Lovehoney.com The Sexual Happiness People

The Deflection

Nothing says, “I don’t want to talk about this with you” than a classic distraction. Look toward the window. Furrow your brow. Hurry over, say, “what in the heecckk is that?” They’ll all rush over. That’s when you come up with something strange you thought you saw, “I swear I just saw a dude wearing an all-orange jumpsuit walking down the street with an accordian,” or “strange, it looked like a wolf, but maybe it was just a dog? You have feral dogs wandering your neighborhood now?” etc etc. Of course, the deflection typically only works for a few moments, days max, and then someone somewhere will find the nerve to bring it up yet again.

The Ego Stroke

This one is great because the phrasing of it makes the people around you feel special.

“I’ve been putting myself out there but I have yet to find anyone that meets the standards I learned to look for by being around such an amazing family.”  

Blunt Truth

Just say it like it is, “No. There’s no one special.”

The Turn-Around

If they continue to annoy you, it’s always a joy to flip the question back on to them, “How’s your love life going?” Because regardless of whether they’re married or dating “someone” special that doesn’t mean they get a pass and should be out of the clear. No relationship is perfect and it can be helpful for them to get a taste of their own medicine. Perhaps, they’re realize what it feels like to be asked such questions and will refrain from doing so in the future.

Self Love

“I’m focusing on my career and discovering hobbies I love to do. I recently started learning how to _____ and it’s been fun.”

If the person says something along the lines of, “well you should really get out there and date more.” You can always hit them with a statistic like, “from all the research I’ve done with regards to dating etc. every dating coach / advice column etc. suggests the best way to find love is to do the things you love. You’ll meet people that way and then you’ll already have a common connection, so, in this way I AM dating, by dating myself.”

The SnP

From one of the greatest rap groups of all time, Salt n Peppa comes the lyrics, “It’s none of your business,” which you could always just start playing the song to the horror of your grandma (not my grandma, she’s the one I used to listen to it with) or you could say the same thing more gracefully like, “I’d prefer to leave my private life, private.”

Do you have a line you like to use? Or a strategy you employ when dealing with unwanted questions from your family? Leave your comments below. I’m always down for trying to tactics.  


Weird Sex Wednesday: Holiday Roleplay Fantasies

Your Guide to Holiday Roleplay Ideas

It’s that time of the year again! Can you believe it’s already the holiday season? Christmas is weeks away and a bunch of other holidays too. I’m not super into Christmas, but I can get into the spirits (gin, vodka, whiskey etc). I can also get into the spirit of winter. There’s something nice about it getting dark early and being able to cozy up inside by the (Amish) fireplace and watch movies or read a book or you guessed it, have sex.

If you’re the type who is super into sex, you know just like I do how much fun it is to spice it up on occasion. Nothing says “ho ho ho” quite like getting fucked while wearing a santa hat.

Here are three fantasy role play ideas based off of the holiday season. If you want more check out my patreon where I read erotic stories that I wrote myself based off of these sexy fantasy role play ideas.

The Naughty Elf

I already have pretty big pointy ears so this one isn’t hard for me to pull off (or is it hard and I pull it off?). Really you just need to wear Christmasy like clothing and add a couple of paddles, maybe this candy cane glass dildo, and some squeaky voices to this mix and you’re golden. I mean, why be nice when you can be naughty? It’s way more fun and pretty sure the gifts of pleasure you receive are far better than anything Santa might leave under the tree (unless you’re role-playing with Santa but that’s a story for below).

Get the Candy Cane Glass Dildo Here

Shop for naughty elf costumes here. 

Randy Reindeer

This one might be cutting it close to being considered a furry fetish, but you can take it as far or as not far as you want. My middle name is “Fawn” so when I went to the costume store the day after Halloween and there was a deer costume half-off I had to get it. Now it comes in handy more than once a year. I’m not sure what reindeer sound like when they’re mating, do they even make noises? Probably just a lot of mounting and huffing, I imagine this happening outside, steam from the hot bodies drifting in the air. Just be careful with the antlers, okay?

Look for randy reindeer costumes here. 

Sexy Santa   

Who hasn’t thought about sitting on a sexy Santa’s lap or being the sexy Santa who’s lap gets sat upon? It’s so easy (and hopefully so hard). All it takes really is a Santa hat, but you could always go all out and wear the full suit. Perhaps Mrs. Santa can join. Or a naughty elf or two. Sometimes a dick-in-box is the best present a person can get.

Get a Sexy Santa Hat Here


Planning to try any of these yourself? Have better ones to suggest? Leave comments below. And be sure to follow my Patreon for those erotic tales written and read aloud by yours truly (and yes, each week I’m dressing up at one of the above characters). Happy Holidays and I hope you can Ho Ho Ho it up all month long!

Hear me talk about fantasies!

Holiday Gift Guide: Best Sex Toys for Every Budget

Give Your Lover The Gift of Pleasure This Holiday Season

There’s really not a better gift to give than the gift of pleasure. What’s a better way to experience pleasure than with sex toys?! Below is a list of some of the best sex toys you can get no matter your budget.

Women’s External (Clitoral) Toys

Best Bang for Your Buck

The Pico-bong Collection from Lelo– Ako $45

A bit on the higher-end of affordable but this toy is basically the battery-version of Lelo. High-quality materials, waterproof, quiet. This is the #1 vibrator I recommend for anyone who has never used a vibrator before or for anyone who needs a good travel vibe.  

best affordable clit vibrator

Best Deal Happening Right Now

Nea by Lelo $69

This is the cheapest I’ve seen this clitoral vibe by Lelo listed online for quite a while. I’ve had this toy for like eight years and it still works wonders. It’s rechargable and made out of a body-safe material. Plus it’s so small you can take it pretty much anywhere. 

Best Splurge for Your Urge 

We-Vibe Touch $99

When it comes to clitoral toys we-vibe does it right. This one is great because it covers a bit more surface area than the bullet (which is also amazing). 

high end clit vibe worth the money

Women’s Best External (G-Spot…and more) Toys

Best Bang for Your Buck

Another great toy from Lelo’s Pico-Bong Collection– Moka $33

This is SUPER cheap compared to what it used to be priced at. I’d say get it now before they raise it back up to its original cost. Don’t forget the batteries! (Bonus, the surface area of this g-spot toy also works well as a clitoral vibrator.) 

Best $100 Bucks You Can Spend

Fun Factory Stronic Drei

Another great toy company is Fun Factory (based in Germany). I think out of all the toy companies out there they manage to get a great girth/size for all of their toys. The material is an interesting texture that’s somewhere in between soft and hard (kind of like a dick, but like, not). 

Real Love Cums in a Fancy Box

The Soraya from Lelo $179

If you’re looking for a toy that will be a real show stopper, look no further. This fancy af toy hits the g-spot and the clit. Plus it’s super fancy, which really proves how much you care about your lover/friend/favorite blog writer… 

Men’s Masturbators

Best Bang for Your Buck 

TENGA Standard Edition Deep Throat OnaCup $12.99

These cheap TENGA cups are designed for one-time use BUT if you use it with a condom you can reuse it multiple times. 

Give Him the Gift of Boujee Wanking

The TENGA Flip Holes are the best male masturbators on the market. You can’t go wrong with any of their options. They’re easy to clean and create a sensation you won’t find anywhere else. 

TENGA Flip Hole Luxury $104.99

Best Prostate Toys

Hit it and Quit It

Love Honey Curve Cruise 5 Function Vibrating Prostate Massager $20.99

If you’re a beginner and testing the prostate massage waters it’s best to start out with something on the cheaper side. This is decent quality and a size that won’t overwhelm. Plus, you can add a bullet for additional vibration / stimulation. 



Explore the Middle Ground

Tantus Slow Drive $53 

Tantus has some of the best sex toys on the market. Premium quality, easy to clean, and the company is based in America. They have plenty of options but this toy can work for either the prostate or the g-spot, so why not go both ways, if you dare (and clean it properly). 

Give That Butt the Royal Treatment

Hugo-Lelo $164

The Hugo from Lelo is the treat your prostate (or your manfriend’s prostate) has been dreaming about. It comes with a wireless remote, dual motor and is waterproof and rechargeable.  

Best Couple’s Sex Toys

Some Cheap Fun Stuff

Dual Vibrating Cock Ring $7.99

Chocolate Body Paint $14.99

Red Silk Bondage Restraints $14.99

Meet Each Other In The Middle

Weekend In Bed Bondage Kit $34.99

Love Honey Kinky Crystal Sex Kit $64.99

Because these are a bit cheaper you want to be extra careful with the cleaning of these different sex toys. 

Fancy AF Couples Toys

We-Vibe Anniversary Collection $229

My favorite bullet + one of the best couple’s toys out there in this beautiful combo package!

Feeldoe $145

Yes, it’s a strapless strap-on. Great for lesbian/queer couples and hetero couples that enjoy exploring with pegging. 

Lelo Oden 2 $199

This fancy cock ring is adjustable and comes with a wireless remote. 

Don’t forget the toy cleaner and lube

Get the Deals! 

Love Honey — Specials up to 50% Off All Through Black Friday & Cyber Monday + Free Shipping on orders over $60

Lelo — Save up to 70% off select items at LELO.com! No coupon code needed! (Valid through 11/28/18)

We-Vibe — Save 20% on everything at We-Vibe! Use code TWENTY. Valid 11.23-11.29

Tantus — Black Friday (November 23rd) through Cyber Monday (November 24th) = 50% Off (Almost) Everything* (some exclusions)

Weird Sex Wednesday: When Someone Else Shaved My Pubes

shaving pubic hair

To Shave the Pubes or to Not Shave the Pubes

A couple of weeks ago a fan sent in a question asking for advice on the best most polite way to ask his girlfriend to shave her pubic hair. This was because it was a turn on for him to see more of what she had going on down there. You can read my reply to his pubic hair question here.


It was interesting timing to receive said question. I had just gone about two whole weeks without having sex with another person and during that time period my hair didn’t just go wild, it went out of control. I’m pretty sure I could have braided it. I’m pretty sure it started braiding itself.

I discovered I did actually have a preference when it came to my own pubic hair length. The preference now is for it to not be so long other people might choke on it and die. I don’t really like it completely bald. I like to have a least some barrier between my genital skin and someone else’s.

Strangely enough in my 20 years of having pubic hair while on this planet, I have never had anyone else ever shave my pussy (nor have I had a bikini wax, but one step at a time).


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That is, I had never had anyone shave my pussy until last week.

To tell you the truth it was scarier to have this gentleman shave my pussy than it was to be in a truck going 60 miles an hour through stop signs through residential neighborhoods with a driver who was on acid. Why? Because if he wrecked his truck I was dead, but if he wrecked the trimmer, my pussy was dead. The fear of walking around with a dead pussy was scarier than being completely and totally dead dead.

Having someone else shave my pussy was one of the most vulnerable things I have ever done. It was also a good workout because I basically stood in a squat position in this standing shower so he could have a better angle. Perhaps that’s also why it was scary, I didn’t know if my legs would give out mid buzz.

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Was it sexy? It was sexy watching him concentrate. It was sexy letting my guard down. Was the act itself sexy, no, it tickled.

The acts AFTER the pussy buzz cut were pretty fucking hot though. I think he was happy to no longer nearly choke to death on my hair. Though the hair from my head still ends up everywhere, but that’s a problem for another day.