Freaky Fuck Friday: Celebrating No Panties Day

how to celebrate no panties day

Just Panties In the Wind

or

Happy No Panties Day

(Turn up the volume on this one, too lazy to re-do it)


According to the Internet, June 22 is No Panties Day. It’s basically a made-up holiday to help dudes collect more images for their spank-bank collection.

That’s fine with me. Spank away. I believe we all should enjoy a more pleasurable time while on this Earth.

Speaking of being on this Earth. Last night I mentioned something to my housemate
about how I couldn’t wait until the moment when I met people in Denver who had stumbled upon my blog/ YouTube Channel and came up to chat with me in person.

Then it happened.

Of course, one of those people was a previous neighbor of mine, who thoughtfully came over and shoveled our sidewalks one dreadful winter snow storm morning. But the other person I had never met. So I’m counting it.

Anyway. She is an amazing human being and the two of them asked me to make a Freaky Fuck Friday post even though I was planning to make a Friday Feels post about nu Denver and some bullshit I stumbled upon recently — but I’ll save it. You’re welcome.

Today I’m exploring Freaking Fuck Friday and more importantly this made-up holiday No Panties Day. I looked up why this holiday exists, but honestly, there are not great reasons and it’s better just to embrace it–particularly when you’re not into wearing clothes of any kind most of the time anyway.

So.

Here Are 11 Different Ways to Celebrate No Panties Day on Freaky Fuck Friday:

  1. Choose to not wear panties (or undies or boxer briefs or whatever). I understand this is obvious, but more difficult for some than others.
  2. Wear a skirt or a dress or shirt-cock (that’s when you only wear a shirt but are naked from the waist down).
  3. Stand over one of those air vents Marilyn Monroe style. Enjoy the breeze.
  4. Masturbate. At home or work or wherever.
  5. Get Freaky! Tell a partner of your choice that you’d like their hand to slowly and methodically make its way up to your superfunparts. (And allow yourself to get off if they’re you know, trying to help you get off.)
  6. Accept oral offerings.
  7. Shove your panties in someone else’s mouth and use them as a gag.
  8. Throw your panties out of a moving car window.
  9. Sell your panties on the internet (you can buy mine anytime by sending me an email through contact section.)
  10. Sexy dance with your ass hanging out in private (or public if you can get away with it).
  11. Burn all your panties and start the summer off panty-free. Because fuck panties.

Is this really Freaky Fuck Friday material? I don’t know. Comment below on your favorite commando story and happy made-up holiday. I’ll be going without panties all day to show my support (thanks to squats my ass holds up).

Follow me everywhere so I feel special when I’m walking around not wearing panties on this special holiday:

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Or buy me something… maybe some panties since it’s only one day out of the year and I just burned all of mine:
Amazon Wish List

Orrrr…. buy yourself or someone you know some panties if they also did the whole burning thing (click on the image link and it will take you to amazon for more panties shopping):

Lelo for the good vibes, yes?!

Weird Sex Wednesday: So You’re Saying There’s an Instagram Chance?!

direct message fails of instagram

Direct Message Not Received

or

The heyyy phenomenon

Watch the YouTube Video to hear me answer some of the questions I’ve been asked recently on Instagram. I prob won’t answer most of them directly in the future.

Feeling a little weird today.

Feeling a little off.

Mostly I’m just confused.

A part of me loves that my Instagram page is growing and people seem to like what I’m doing on the blog etc. but WTF dudes?

I get it. I have boobs. You want to lick and touch my boobs. You want to have the sex. You want to know if I’m into younger guys. Older guys. Black guys. Women. Anal. These are all okay questions, I guess.

Yet, you’re all sending them to me on Instagram in my Direct Messages when we don’t even follow each other.

Some of you are sending over really compelling conversations starters like:

Heyyy

Sexy

Chat with me

Send me nudes

Hey sexy

Nice boobs

Oh Fuck it, here’s a screenshot to make it easier for me:

direct message not received
Much excite, much heyyy.

That was just like a few of them btw.

There are sometimes a few funny ones. This one being the latest:

milky breast IG
Please never try to make ice cream from my milky breasts. Or put your ice cream on my milky breasts. Or call my breast milky when they contain no milk as I have no had a child ever in my entire life.

Anyhoo.  That was a pretty good one.

I’m curious though, if you ACTUALLY want to have a conversation or you’re just throwing out bait into a sea of hot Instagram girls hoping that one out of the million heyyys will get you a heyyy back?

I’m curious if you think you’re the FIRST ever to think of sending a direct message to a stranger on Instagram? And what type of entitlement exists within your brains to think a stranger has any sort of priority to respond to you? Or you have any sort of right to get ANGRY when a woman doesn’t respond to you in the amount of time you think is appropriate for a response?

I get that it’s a social media platform and I do want to interact with people, indeed I’m GRATEFUL to have such a growing fan-base, but I need a little more to go on here. I want to answer your questions, but also I would prefer the questions be more thought out. I spend every day putting in this work to help the world experience more pleasure and it’s not pleasurable to me to be inundated with weak ass messages that are basically just farts into the winds of the internet.

On the other hand, there are a lot of terrifically written messages and many of them I have yet to respond to, like this one:

a decent instagram message for once
I appreciate this and I am grateful.

Or this one:

decent instagram messages
*blushes*

Thanks for being decent human beings. I really appreciate it and one day I WILL get back to you, I swear.

It’s just that I have to swim through the muck of bullshit and I’m not used to it.

Perhaps that’s the problem.

I have no idea what I’m doing.

And I’m not used to hundreds of messages in my inbox, particularly when I only have like 700(ish) followers. I can only imagine what real hot sexy ladies with HUGE followings must deal with on an everyday basis. Have you ever thought about that BEFORE you hit send?

Here are my thoughts on you sending messages to super hot sexy ladies (or any person you don’t actually know) on Instagram or other places:

If you choose to write a message to someone whom you actually want to get to know and that message has limited value and nothing much to offer, the likelihood of a reply from that person is about .0005%.

So, yeah. I’m saying there’s a chance.

But…. I’m also saying that the chances are pretty slim and if you want to up your chances, put a little more thought into it.

Oh yeah, and… don’t hold your breath.

Anyway…

If you have real decently thought-out questions you want me to answer, you can contact me through my contact page.

(I’ll answer one right now for you, no, I will not have the sex with you, thanks for asking though.)

Want to follow me on social media and see what all the fuss is about?

I’m right here for you.

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook

Or buy me something and I’ll at least send you shout-out of thanks!
Amazon Wish List

P.S.

As long as your going to masturbate while looking at my pics and videos might as well stick something up your butt and get some good prostate action going on. Click on the image to head into the world of Tantus Toys (they make some amazing plugs and dildos too)!

plugs for your sex butt
Stick me in your butt, please!

Masturbation Monday: Lelo Sona Cruise Reviewed

sex toy review

If You Like Orgasming in 20 seconds or Less This is the Toy For You

or

I have no brains left thanks to Lelo Sona Cruise

Thanks to a couple of my loyal amazing followers who pitched in on a gift for me (which you can also do by checking out my Amazon Wish List here) I received the Lelo Sona Cruise in the mail a few days ago.

On the Lelo page, they make claims that this tiny ass clitoral vibrator:

“stimulates 75% more of your clitoris, for a feeling that will change your life, one orgasm at a time.”

It does this by using sonic waves instead of a typical vibrator that uses, well, vibrations. The waves go beyond the external to pulsate and stimulate (because our clits are a web of nerve endings, not just little fashionable vulva buttons).

Since my time at Fascinations, I have tried nearly a hundred different sex toys. I have become a sex toy snob. I have three favorite companies and Lelo happens to be one of them (We-Vibe and Fun Factory are the other).

Receive Free, Discreet Shipping on all We-Vibe orders.

A former coworker used to refer to Lelo toys as “Gucci for your Coochie,” which is as close to accurate as you’re going to get. They are indeed a luxury sex toy company (the $2,500 gold prostate toy pretty much exemplifies that). Lelo designs are streamlined, beautiful, and classy. Plus, they’re all made out of medical-grade materials and are rechargeable.

When I opened the Sona box I was both mesmerized by the impressive design and slightly skeptical about this small suction looking device doing anything of value for my pussy. I could not imagine how anything could be better than the Hitachi (my most recent vibrator love).

The thing about vibrators is that, just like with polyamory, you can love MORE than ONE.

Just because you get pleasure from eating pizza does not take away from the fact that you also get pleasure from putting ice cream in your mouth.

After charging and cleaning the Lelo Sona, it was time to give it a whirl or for it to whirl me or perhaps we’d whirl each other?! Anyway. I turned it on and it was SO quiet. After getting used to the power-drill sounds of the Hitachi I thought there was NO way it was going to do anything at all to my clitoris.

I put the tiny spout mouth up to my finger, it was like, egh. I put it on my nipple, it was like oohh, okkaayy, maybe. . . I put it on my clit.

Well. I TRIED to put it on my clit.

lelo sona cruise sex toy review
Oh, hey girlfriend.

After I maneuvered it around to find the exact correct spot for ultimate sensation, which took a bit longer than I thought it would, I hit THE SPOT and it felt like a fucking electrical lightning surge zip all the way my body.

I dropped it.

Whoa. I thought. WHOA.

“Okay, little pink friend with the power punch, looks like you may be able to hold your own after all,” I said to myself in my head and not out loud or anything weird like how dirty talking your sex toys would probably be, that I would never EVER do. . . .

Right.

Moving on.

The very first initial contact was super intense, but I needed lube.

So, I put a drop or 10 (because I have the Sahara desert of vaginas from living in this dry ass climate and almost always being hungover and dehydrated) on my pussy, took a deep breath and got back to work.

Simply. Yes.
Yes.

Yyyesss.

Holy shit.

Damn.

Alright.

I couldn’t even pay attention to porn while this thing was on my button. My brain couldn’t handle the multi-tasking. My clit could barely handle the sensations.

I turned on the different rhythms/patterns to help give my clit a seconds rest and it turned out that I enjoyed the rhythm/patterns MORE than just the straight BUZZ, which NEVER has happened with a toy before.

Fuck.

Shit.

Oh. My. God.

It felt like a three-minute long mini-orgasm that ended with a MAJOR orgasmic mind-blowing explosion.

WTF?!

Small little pink friend, if that’s how you’re going to roll (or pulsate), I will accept your offering.

So, yeah. Um. It was good.

But that’s not all my friends and followers. That is not where the Lelo Sona story ends.

Later that night, my current mansexfriendthingthatdoesnothavealabel wanted me to demo the toy for him.

He had been eating me out so when I put the toy on my clit it made these amazing sloppy wet noises that were kind of hilarious and also totally recordable for an interesting EDM remix throwdown. Yet, still, the sound of the toy itself was almost inaudible. Anyhoo…

A lot of people claim that sex toys/vibrators sort of “numb the clit,” and that they create this inability to get off with actual people, but I’m here to counter that and say that since the Hitachi and the Lelo Sona I’ve turned into basically a Cum Queen. I’m orgasming ALL the fucking time, both alone and with people. At the beginning, in the middle, and at the end. Like, holy shit. Both of these toys seem to propel my orgasm FORWARD instead of blocking them at all.

Not only that, but after I had demoed it for a few minutes we threw it aside and started having P-in-V sex; we’re both still not sure what actually happened, but my vagina contracted and released and contracted as if it wanted to extract the orgasm from his cock all by itself. This situation was almost entirely involuntarily on my behalf. As if my vagina was turning into its own entity and cock juice was its main dietary source.

I got the juice. Pretty sure I got part of his brains too, since right after, as we were getting dressed, he put his shoes on the wrong feet (making it the best after-sex compliment I have ever gotten).

So, would I recommend the Lelo Sona?

Oh my god.

Fuck.

Shit.

Yyaasss.

BUT now I want to try ALL the sonic wave sex toys to see how the others compare. Personally, I’d like the spout/mouth part of be a little bit bigger to cover more surface area even though I am aware that the waves move around the whole space. I think it would help ease some of the intensity so it could grow into a MAJOR orgasm without cumming within 10 seconds (unless you like cumming in 10 seconds, so you can move on with your life. I like it to last a little bit longer than that just because there’s not much else I’d rather be doing.)

Also. Lube & toy cleaner are an absolute must with this.

Make sure the lube is water-based. Silicone on silicone has been known to be a bad idea, so why risk it?

They could still have this on sale at Lelo:

Or Take a risk and buy it off Amazon here:

P.S.

Want me to review something specific? Contact me to discuss more details (see above tab) or surprise me by buying me something off my Amazon Wish List too!

Thirsty Thursday: Why Threesomes Are The Best Somes

why threesomes are the best

You + You + Me = Three, Wee!

or

I believe in the power of the equilateral triangle

I’ve been sitting around all day in the heat, super thirsty, both for the drank and for the sex drank.

I was helping my roommate figure out what she’s going to wear at this event over the weekend, she was naked, I saw her boobs.

Whoa!

For some reason, I got even thirstier.

I dumped cold water all over myself to calm down.

I started to think about what REALLY makes me thirsty.

So far, my favorite sexual encounters that I ever get to have (or have had) are the threesomes.

Here Are My Top 8 Reasons Why Threesomes Are the Best Somes:

  1. There is always something to do
  2. Threesomes stimulate the body and mind in new ways
  3. You can try new interesting positions
  4. Two of you can gang up on one to overload the one with pleasure
  5. You can be ganged up on by the two to be overloaded with pleasure
  6. You can make an equilateral triangle of pleasure
  7. Three is the perfect size to fit on a bed without one or all of you falling off at some point
  8. Threesomes are fucking hot no matter the combination of people MMF, MFF, FFF, MMM, MFT, FTT, etc. whatever. Naked body parts all over!

I currently have two major threesome fantasies.

  1. Mario, Luigi, and the Princess all getting down and dirty together (I’m up to play any part in this one).

2. Woody and Buzz Lightyear tag teaming me taking me to infinity and beyond with some major mind-blowing orgasms, yehaw.

Ask me to name my favorite threesome experience and I will not have the capabilities. That’s like asking me to choose my favorite ice cream or favorite book. Sure, I can DO IT if I have to, but they each hold a special place, memory, and learning experience for me.

You may also be wondering if I am a unicorn and if I would ever have a threesome with you and your lover.

The answers are sadly, “no,” (and less sadly), “maybe?”

For a while, I considered myself a unicorn.

A unicorn in the sex community is considered to be a mythical person who flies in, has no-strings-attached sex with a couple, then just as quickly and quietly disappears, leaving the couple satisfied and better connected than ever before.

Here’s why I am not a unicorn.

For starters I am not a mythical creature, I am a human being and just like every other human being I have emotions and feelings and wants and desires. I have no problem participating in no-strings-attached sex with one or more people. What I have a problem with is always assuming that the third person WANTS NSA sex.

There’s a chance that I actually ENJOY the company of the two people and the sex is good enough that I’d want to do it again.

If you’re in a relationship and you’re worried that the third will come in and wreck what you have, I’m assuming what you have is not that stable to begin with and a threesome isn’t going to solve any of your issues, regardless of whether it’s with a unicorn or a regular person.

I believe that if a couple is choosing to enter into a threesome that the third has just as many rights as the other two and every voice should be heard.

Of course, some threesomes are just three random people doing it, and that’s pretty fun too.

On to the matter as to whether I’d have a threesome with you and someone you know. There’s a chance. It’s a pretty small chance, but I’m saying there’s a chance.

I deleted the Feeld App several months ago, but if you are looking for group-like sexual encounters that’s a tolerable one to use (it had a bunch of tech issues at the time I had it that they claimed were being worked through but I removed it before seeing if that came true. Why did I delete it? Mostly because I was tired of couples thinking they wanted a threesome in fantasy but not being able to follow through in reality AND because I was tired of being a unicorn. We need love and attention too sometimes).

I am aware that many of you out there have never had a threesome. Some of you have no interest while others are SO interested you might be coming off desperate for it. If you are interested in having a threesome and want tips on how to make this happen, let me know in the comments and I’ll write another article about it.

In the meantime, happy Thirsty Thursday, hope your thirst gets quenched! I’m going to go back to fantasizing about Woody and Buzz now.

9 Sexy Gift Ideas for Your Favorite Daddy

gift ideas for sugar daddys

Daddy Knows Best

or

Buy Something Sweet or Sexy For Your Daddy This Father’s Day

Father’s Day is just around the corner and though I do have an amazing father, I’m not here to talk about that kind of father.

Today I want to talk about Daddys.

Now, I’ve never had a Daddy, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t. I’m pretty picky about that sort of thing. Though I like nice dinners and drinks and clothes etc. I’m not going to pretend to be interested in a dude just for stuff.

No, if I ever had a Sugar Daddy it would have to be some sort of mutually stimulating relationship, mind + body + fun stuff. Not just the fun stuff because I stroked his ego like he liked it.

Anyway. I do have friends with Daddys and I think it’s only appropriate that if you have a Daddy you get your Daddy a Father’s Day gift. (Or if you’re sleeping with an actual dad or you just want to buy a dude a present).

So, here are 9 Gift Ideas for the Daddy (or Dude) in Your Life:

(Obviously make sure you use Daddy’s credit card to buy his gift or what’s the point in having a Daddy.)

{Click on the image to be taken directly to purchase from We-Vibe, Lelo, or Amazon}

1. Male Masturbator

Dudes who say that there aren’t any good masturbation toys out there just haven’t done the research. I know FIRST HAND that the Tenga Flip Cups are amazing. I have witnessed one in action on multiple different wang-a-langs and I can tell you that these work wonders. Way better than the Flesh Light. These are designed to actually be easy to clean after splooging all up in them.

The flip holes and the flip zeros each have different textures inside them. The holes have three different pressure points so you can hold on and press down where it fits best on your carrot. The Zero is the newest design and looks just absolutely amazing. The best thing about this is that you can give Daddy a hand-job and not even have to touch his wee-wee. Or let him take care of himself while you paint your nails or whatever.

The Tenga Flip Zero:

2. An Upscale Vibrating Cock Ring

There’s nothing wrong with those cheap plastic throw-aways but Daddy deserves the best so why not hook him up with something that could potentially please both of you (if you do have sex with Daddy, some babies do not). Anyhoo. These three are all rechargeable and made out of medical-grade materials. The top two (verge and oden) are designed to stimulate the perineum (and balls) while the last one on the list, the Lelo Tor, can be turned up to hit the clit or down to vibrate the balls.

We-Vibe – Verge

Lelo – Oden

ODEN_300x250

Lelo – Tor

3. Njoy Prostate Plug
Daddy knows that one of the best ways to have explosive mind-blowing orgasms is through stimulating the prostate. Buy him the shiny fancy looking one. The hard as fuck material is much easier to clean and maintain, plus you can do temperature play to heat things up or cool things down depending on the mood of the night. (There are rumors that these also make great paperweights… if you’re looking for even more versatility).

4. BBQ Grill Set Dad
Your Daddy doesn’t grill? That’s okay, I bet your Daddy spanks you though. Sure, sure your Daddy can use these to flip the meat but this BBQ Grill Set can also be used as pervertables (regular objects turned into sex toys). Use your imagination and be safe (I don’t really want to know what you end up doing with those tongs).

5. Rosetta Stone
Buy your Daddy Rosetta Stone so he can learn the language of the country you want him to take you to. Hint, Hint, Daddy, take me to Italy and converse with the locals so I can kick back, drink wine and be pretty.

6. A Customized Poem for Daddy
I wouldn’t be writing this blog if my roommate hadn’t mentioned she was writing a ‘Daddy’ poem for Father’s Day. So, here’s a shout-out to the talented Abigail Mott who can write you a poem for your Daddy on ANY topic of your choice.

Daddy, Daddy, Oh Daddy, Oh
I like the way you
Buy me clothes

(That was my attempt, she does about a million times better.)

7. Nose and Ear Hair Trimmer
If your Daddy has been annoying you lately due to his apparent extensive aging process and deterioration get him a nose and ear trimmer to remind him how much younger you are than him.

8. Cologne
Does Daddy has a bit of old man smell to him? Give him the goods to mask it. Or just smell a bit better.

Idk if the bottle below smells good I just liked the classy look of it. My favorite is Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue… but you ‘nose’ best.

9. A fancy as fuck camera so he can take amazing pictures of you for your Instagram page
You know Daddy wants to support your social media “modeling” career, what better way than with a gift that gives back to both of you AND all of your followers.

Let me know if Daddy likes!

P.S.
If you want to be my Daddy and receive one of these amazing gifts someday you can start by buying me something special from my Amazon Wish List. I’ll decide by your choice if you’re worth it. Or if you don’t want to be my Daddy and just want to show your support I will also accept that.

P.P.S.
Bonus! Random rant about the eggplant emoji:

Weird Sex Wednesday: Burning Man and the Hottest Sex I Have Ever Had

denmark and hot hot sex guy

Burning Man and Hot Sex with a Guy From Denmark

or

Sweat, Slobber, & Sex Times in the Desert

It’s been so hot lately in Denver, like 90+ days, but these sun-filled days compare not at all to the 11 days I spent at my first ever Burning Man experience last year.

Last year was the hottest Burning Man to date and it wasn’t just because I was there (or was it?). It averaged in the 100s every day. The hottest among them was at 108– at least from what we were told (other Burners feel free to tell me otherwise).

As I’ve said many times, it’s hard for me to separate my Burning Man stories because they all blur together like one fucking long day. And when I say fucking long… I mean that literally.

But, here I shall try because it’s Weird Sex Wednesday and the topic of today’s post is all about the hottest most sweat-fueled sex romp I’ve ever had.

Our camp was hosting a morning Bloody Mary / Manmosa Bar (vodka + mimosas, like vodka is a manly drink, but I digress) so I booked it across the playa walking my broken bike about a mile (in non-burner terms) across the dusty roads (other stories occurred during this walk but I will spare you).

It was hot. I’ll tell you that. It wasn’t even 9 am (probably? Who wears watches these days?!) and it was already reaching 90 degrees.

I went back to the camp to help my campmates with the bar, which meant, because I was hungover as fuck, that I laid under our shade and drank the bloody marys to make sure they tasted okay.

The line was long and girthy before we even officially opened and that’s when I spotted him. The hottest man I had thus seen at Burning Man (and this was like day 6 or 7 so I had seen MANY). I’m not sure exactly WHY I thought he was hot, it could have been heat-exhaustion because he was wearing ridiculous red pants and ridiculous red furry glasses, but at Burning Man (and everywhere else) I could look past his exterior clothing choices and imagine what he’d look like naked– which was hot, very very hot.

I tapped my campmate on the shoulder, pointed at the hot hot guy, “Damn. Look at him!” I drooled (leaking much-needed liquid out of my mouth accidentally).

“Go talk to him!” she said.

“Fuck that. It’s too hot,” I replied as I sucked down my bloody.

She rolled her eyes.

But the Universe is AMAZING!!! And Burning Man is a magical place because not 30 seconds later, he and his campmates are sitting under the shade with me.
They said they were from Denmark (and now I really want to go to Denmark btw) and that they had a “hotel” at the very edge of the playa (I’ll save the hotel story for a different day). It was Hot Hot Guy’s birthday, technically, because they all still hadn’t slept from the night before and they needed shade.

Since I’m a gift-giving person, I offered them all the shade I had.

Even in the shade, it was fucking hot as fuck so we all started misting each other with these fan misters that are a MUST HAVE at Burning Man when Burning Man is the hottest it’s ever been.

I was next to Hot Hot Guy. He asked if he could spray me. I said, “Duh dude. I’ve been waiting my whole life for a guy like you to get me wet.”

I’m telling you right now that Hot Hot Guy misting me with a cool as fuck fan mister was one of the most orgasm experiences I have ever had in my entire life (and I wasn’t even on DRUGS at this point… or was I? Who can keep track anymore).

The Denmark people and our camp hung out for hours, then we were out of drank so all of his campmates decided to go. He stayed.

We went into my tent.

Now, let me tell you a little something something about my tent.

It’s basically big enough for ONE person, maybe two if you’re children or relatively short.

He was neither of those things.

Neither am I.

But together, we made it work.

We slipped, we slid, we sparkled. We did the sex thing.

We even got so over-heated he had to open the tent to stick out heads out for some fresh 100+ degree cool air.

This was quite literally the hottest and most sweat-producing sex I have ever had in my entire life.

After, we went and found a tent full of giant neon furry pillows and took a nap together (thus ending his birthday). But, the day was beautiful. Oh, so beautiful because I got to look at his face the entire time.

Of course, since I was new to Burning Man I did TRY to find him later. Which, yes, I know, was a rookie mistake and I should have chalked it up to a magical moment in time and left it at that. But it doesn’t hurt a girl to make an attempt (except for the heat exhaustion I got from riding across the playa, but again, different story for a different day).

Sure, sure, it wasn’t WEIRD sex. But it was Burner Sex, which is always going to be slightly weirder than regular not-camping-in-the-desert-with-a-bunch-of-freaks-sex.

P.S.
Yes. I would return to Burning Man if a person would care to be so generous and gift me a ticket.

P.P.S.

I would also willing take a new or bigger tent so I could host MORE THAN ONE within said tent and maybe find one of those battery-powered fans or something.

P.P.P.S.

If you happen to be the Hot Hot Guy from Denmark who from what I can recall is currently  living in New York feel free to email me and tell me if I got this story right (and/or make plans to do it again.)

Thirsty Thursday: It’s Okay to be Sexy on Social Media

drink up if you are thirsty

It’s Time to Get Quenched

or

When It’s Hot, We All Get Thirsty

Growing up, “Thirsty Thursday” used to mean 99 cent Route 44s from the Sonic aka America’s Favorite Drive-In. The best Thirsty Thursday Route 44 Sonic beverage choice is and will always be a Cherry Limeade. Other running-up choices include the Strawberry Lemonade or a Grape/Orange/Cherry Slush or maybe MAYBE if the mood is just right, a cherry/vanilla Dr. Pepper. Yum Sonic drinks. (Now I am actually getting thirsty).

Today to be “thirsty” means something entirely different.

It no longer has anything to do with getting a giant-ass styrofoam cup full of corn syrup/ sugar-laced soda mixed with those perfectly tiny squared ice cubes for super cheap (though perhaps Sonic still has that special IDK I haven’t been there on a Thursday in years.).

Now, “to be thirsty” means to want or need something… particularly in relation to either attention or sexual relations or sexual attention or social media likes etc. etc.

Here are some sentence examples of the two main ways the word “thirsty” is often used:

Dick messages like 50 women on Instagram every day asking them what’s up, trying to get them to talk and or fuck him; that bitch is thirsty.

Kitty has been staring at that guy across the bar for so long that drool is coming out her mouth and she’s about to start humping her chair; that bitch is thirsty.

Jack is always posting pics of his giant ass biceps on Instagram, that bitch is thirsty.

Krystal posts half-naked pics of herself all over Instagram all day, that bitch is thirsty.

Candy has sent over 5,000 emails trying to get interviews for publicity work, that bitch is thirsty.

 

SodaStream Fizzi MEGA KIT Sparkling Water Maker with 3 1L Carbonating Bottles and 60L CO2 Cylinder Cartridge,Lightweight Sleek Design, Makes Tap Into Sparkling Water in Seconds!

People seem to use this word in a negative context. Is it wrong to want attention? Is it wrong to want other people to see how sexy you are or to know that you’re thinking of them? Is it wrong to actually go after the things that you want? Fuck it. I don’t care. I’ll be thirsty all day every damn day.

As it was stated in an article called The Modern History of Thirst:

“I think holding in thirst to please other people and to be ‘cool’ is the thirstiest thing one can do.”

So I will not hold back my thirst.

I will continue to show my half naked body all over social media. Why? Because I like it. I like sex. I like being sexual. I like you liking it. I enjoy your attention.

I don’t give a fuck if you think I’m an attention-seeking slut because I AM. I am also about a million other things too so I can be that for a moment then go and be a weirdo who farts and picks her nose while she’s eating an entire container of ice cream. Why? Because we are all complex beings. We all have thirst, we all have hunger. We all want to be wanted whether we want to admit to that want or not.

So drink up bitches. This tall glass of lemonade won’t be full or wet for that many more days. . . (not sure if that sentence actually works in this context but I have other things to do with my day to day, like go and find a drink.)