The Original Phallic Hot Dog with Carrot Pickle Relish

go eat a carrot hot dog

Hot Dogs! Get Your Extra Long Phallic Hot Dogs Here!

Nothing says Phallic Food Diet better than the Original Phallic Hot Dog! Toasted bun smothered in mayo, topped with a crunchy carrot pickle relish. You’ll be surprised by how tasty this actually is. So don’t delay, put that extra long, hot juicy wiener shaped piece of meat in your mouth today.

More hot dog recipes to come all month! If you’d like to be featured for your big and tasty hot dog recipe send it on over to me and I’ll see what I can do with it.

The Original Phallic Dog with Carrot Pickle Relish Recipe

What You Need:

  • ½ cup shredded carrots 
  • ½ cup of pre-made pickle relish
  • Handful of pecans
  • 4 Extra long hot dogs
  • 4 Hot dog bun
  • Mayo

What You Do:

  • Make relish
  • Add ½ cup shredded carrots to ½ cut of pre-made pickle relish, throw in nuts if so desired.
  • Cook hot dogs according to package direction of your choice. 
  • Toast hot dog buns (optional)
  • Slather buns with mayo. Throw hot dogs on top of buns, top with the relish. Enjoy.
delicious hot dog recipes

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including other great party food ideas, check out my Crescent Wrapped Hot & Spicy Pickles.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

Shred That Carrot Salad with Chickpeas and Nuts

carrot chickpea salad

In Honor of Go Eat a Carrot’s Anniversary

Well, it’s almost Easter weekend yet again. For those of you who are new, Go Eat a Carrot originally formed right around this time, 3 years ago I believe. Crazy how time flies! The blog has definitely evolved, where it was originally a place for me to express any and all of my thoughts, particularly those thoughts evolving around sexuality and dating, it is now mostly used to showcase my Phallic Food Diet Recipes. 

This shredded carrot salad would make a great addition to any spring-time food gathering festivities you’ve got going on. It’s also one of those interchangeable recipes, feel free to change out the chickpeas, the nuts, the dried cherries, or the herbs with whatever you have on hand that you think would work well. 

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this delicious and healthy carrot salad recipe!

Shred That Carrot Salad with Chickpeas and Nuts Recipe

What You Need:

Dressing

  • 2 tablespoons of Olive oil
  • 2 teaspoon Dijon mustard
  • ½ teaspoon Garlic powder
  • Cayenne pepper
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Juice of ½ lemon
  • Tablespoon of Honey

For Salad:

  • About 5 carrot, shredded (or buy pre-shredded if you so choose) 
  • 1 can of chickpeas, drained
  • ½ cup pecans, rough chop optional
  • ¼ cup sunflower seeds
  • ¼ cup dried cherries
  • A handful of  fresh basil, tore up

What You Do:

Make the dressing– in a small bowl, whisk together all of the dressing ingredients. 

Make salad– in a medium-sized bowl (preferably one with a lid that you can put in the fridge), throw in the salad ingredients, stir it up a little bit, then toss the dressing over the top and stir some more until all is fully covered. Refrigerate until ready to eat. Can probably make a few hours or even a day ahead, though you can also just eat it right away if you so choose.

Enjoy!

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including other great party food ideas, check out my Crescent Wrapped Hot & Spicy Pickles.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Titson the Chubstep Podcast here

Crescent Wrapped Hot & Spicy Pickles

party pickle ideas

Turn Your Boring Crescent Rolls Into an Addicting Phallic Food Diet Appetizer 

Moist, creamy, irresistible pickle apps that will please a party

I’ve been putting off making these crescent wrapped hot & spicy pickles because I thought there would be no way I could eat all of them by myself. Finally I got invited to a small dinner party and they didn’t last 10 minutes. Everyone loved these, I mean, how can you beat bacon, cheese, pickles, and buttery carbs? Perhaps not the healthiest phallic food diet recipe, but damn, these are so good. If you need a quick and easy appetizer that’s guaranteed to be a crowd-pleaser then this might become your newest go-to! 

If you’re not into spicy pickles you can change out the choice of cheese and the style of pickle you’re using– mozzarella + garlic pickles would be good, dill + cheddar, bread & butter + muenster. Combinations are endless. I love a little spice though, so there you go.  

Crescent Wrapped Hot & Spicy Pickles Recipe

What You Need:

  • 6 ounces of cream cheese
  • 5-6 slices of bacon
  • 1 cup shredded pepper jack or cheese of your choice
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • ½ teaspoon Garlic Powder
  • ½ teaspoon Cumin 
  • Pinch or more of Cayenne Pepper 
  • 1 tube crescent rolls
  • 1 Jar Hot & Spicy Pickles Spears (or flavor of your choice) 
  • 8 pickle spears, halved
  • 1 Egg

What You Do:

  1. Soften your cream cheese

2. Cook and crumble your bacon

3. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

4. Unroll the crescent rolls then cut down the middle of each lengthwise place on baking sheet. 

5. In a bowl, mix the cream cheese, crumbled bacon, shredded cheese, spices, and salt and pepper. 

6. Cut pickles into thirds, or the size of the widest length of the crescent roll. 

7. Scoop the cream cheese filling on each of the crescent rolls, put one piece of pickle on top, roll them all up. 

8. Make egg wash by whisking up an egg, brush each crescent wrap with the egg wash.

9. Bake for about 13-15 minutes until golden brown on top and slightly oozy out the sides.

10. Let cool slightly then put on serving plate.

Enjoy! 

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes check out my Bangers and Smashers recipe (Irish sausage + mashed parsnip and potatoes) here.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

St. Patrick’s Big Banana Mint Shake

healthy shamrock shape

A tribute to the Shamrock Shake with a phallic twist

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m a big fan of the Shamrock shake. I am not however, a big fan of the establishment in which you procure such a delicacy. Thus, I have attempted this adaptation. In honor of St. Patrick’s day, I’ve put together a healthier phallic-food centered recipe (aka a frozen banana) to try. I’m drinking this big banana mint shake right now actually, and it’s mostly good. Feel like it could use something though (probably ice cream haha) so, give it a whirl, and if you come up with an adjustment that makes it tastes EVEN better, let me know. I’ll give you a shout-out and hook you up with a digital copy of the book whenever I get it put together. 

Cheers and hope you enjoy your Irish heritage celebration wherever you happen to be! 

St. Patrick’s Big Banana Mint Shake

What You Need:

  • 1 overripe large frozen banana
  • 1/4 tsp pure peppermint extract 
  • 1 cup milk of choice
  • 1/4 cup frozen spinach
  • pink of salt
  • chocolate chips, as desired

What You Do:

Take all the ingredients, throw them into a blender, and blend until completely smooth. If you’d like, you can wait to put the chocolate chips in until the end or not at all. Also, feel free to use green food coloring instead of spinach if you’d like the less healthy version. Pour into glass, top with more chocolate chips if so desired and enjoy.

Thanks for coming!

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including even more Irish Heritage fun check out my Bangers and Smashers recipe (Irish sausage + mashed parsnip and potatoes) here.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Titson the Chubstep Podcast here

Bangers and Smashers

mashed parsnip phallic food recipe

 

Aka: Irish sausages with mashed parsnips and potato

Fill Yourself Up with This Thick & Tasty Irish Entree 

From big juicy sausages to pretty plump parsnips, this phallic food diet meal is sure to please! It’s perfect if you’re looking for a simple way to celebrate Irish heritage this month, or if you just want to add another easy, delicious, and moderately healthy recipes to your arsenal. 

Of course, the parsnips and sausages are the phallic food ingredients. 

Parsnips are cousins to carrots and are a very good source of fiber. In this recipe I combine with potatoes, mostly because these were the ingredients I had in my house, but you can totally use only parsnips (or only potatoes) if you so choose. 

Irish Sausages with Mashed Parsnips and Potatoes Recipe 

Aka Bangers and Smashers

What You Need:

  • 1 pound parsnips peeled and cut into chunks
  • 1 pound russet potatoes, peeled and cut into chunks
  • 1+ cup whole milk 
  • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, divided
  • Kosher (or garlic) salt and pepper, to taste
  • Irish sausages or brats of your choice

What You Do:

  • To a large pot, add the peeled potatoes and parsnips, fill with water, and boil over high heat.
  • Once fork tender, remove them from the heat, and drain.
  • Add in 4 tablespoons of butter and half of the milk. Stir and mash the parsnips and potatoes. Add in more milk until you reach the desired consistency. 
  • At the same time, cook sausages via their package directions. (I’ve been using my Nu Wave oven, which is 10 minutes at 380 degrees F).
  •  Serve these bangers and smashers on a plate and shove in mouth to enjoy! 

Thanks for coming!

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including even more Banana Fun check out my Basic Bitch Banana Bread with a Phallic Diet Twist here.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

Banana Pancakes with Blue Balls and Nuts

pancakes made with bananas

A slightly healthier pancake option 

I had heard about pancakes made with bananas before but something about it always seemed kind of gross to me. Probably because it took me 33 years to be able to eat bananas at all. The thought of bananas smoothed out and then cooked wasn’t that appealing. BUT, I decided to give banana pancakes a whirl and I was pleasantly surprised. They have all the classic pancake traits, fluffy, moist, sweet, but with just a slight banana flavor. I think the blueberries, pecans, and syrup really help to layer on the flavor and texture. 

If you have extra bananas sitting around on the verge of turning, this is a great way to use them. Quick and simple and they don’t even use flour, so you gluten-free freaks may rejoice!

The blueberries and nuts are optional and you can substitute any other topping or none at all if you so desire. You can also double or triple the batch if you have more people to feed. This recipe is ideal for two people (or two meals) or if you’re cooking a whole breakfast spread, these make a nice addition. 

Your mouth deserves this banana pancake delight. 

Banana Pancakes with Blue Balls and Nuts Recipe

What You Need:

  • 1 cup rolled oats 
  • 2 medium bananas,  peeled
  • ¼ cup milk of choice 
  • 1 tablespoon of honey
  • A pinch salt
  • A handful of blueberries
  • A handful of pecans 

What You Do:

  • Heat a well-greased large skillet or griddle to medium high. 
  • Put the oats, bananas, milk, honey and salt in a blender and blend up smoothish. 
  • Pour batter with ladle into small rounds onto the greased skillet. 
  • Drop a couple of pecans and/or blueberries on top. 
  • The pancakes will start creating air pocket bubbles to help you know they are cooked on the bottom. The spatula should easily slide under the pancake when ready to flip (around 2 minutes)
  • Once flipped over, cook an additional minute. (This recipe makes about 8 small pancakes.)  
  • I topped mine with a sugar-free pecan syrup and more blueberries and pecans. Obviously do it your way.  

Enjoy!

I hope you loved BANANA MONTH!  For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including even more Banana Fun check out my Basic Bitch Banana Bread with a Phallic Diet Twist here.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

Basic Bitch Banana Bread Recipe with a Phallic Diet Twist

easy banana bread recipe

We’re All Going Bananas Over Here!

Banana bread may have already reached its peak but I couldn’t not include it during BANANA month. It’s the perfect go-to recipe when your bananas have gotten ripe–which seemingly happens over night. I made it extra phallic-diet-y by placing a banana right on top and adding nuts. You can use whatever banana bread recipe you want for this delicious breakfast or afternoon snack, but I added one below if you don’t have your own staple one already. 

Basic Bitch Banana Bread Recipe with a Phallic Diet Twist 

What You Need:

  • 2 to 3 very ripe bananas, peeled (about 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 cups mashed) 
  • +1 peeled (not as ripe) banana for the top
  • 1/3 cup melted unsalted butter
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1/2 cup sugar 
  • 1 large egg, beaten
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour
  • ⅓ cup nuts* of your choice, chopped *optional (I used pecans, but walnuts would work well)

What You Do:

Butter a 4×8-inch loaf pan

Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C)

Mash the ripe bananas with a fork or potato masher in a large mixing bowl, until completely smooth. Stir the melted butter into the mashed bananas.

Mix in the baking soda and salt. 

Stir in the sugar, beaten egg, and vanilla extract in separate bowl then mix into the flour. Lightly stir in your nuts.

Pour the batter into your prepared loaf pan. 

Place your whole extra banana right on top of the mixture in the pan. 

Bake for 50 minutes to 1 hour at 350°F (175°C), or until a tester inserted into the center comes out clean.

Remove from oven and let cool in the pan for a few minutes. Then remove the banana bread from the pan and let cool completely.

Slice up your bread and enjoy!  

banana bread recipe easy and fun

Loving BANANA MONTH thus far? For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including more Bananas check out Suck On a Chocolate Banana Shake— healthy, easy, nutritious

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

Suck on a Chocolate Banana Shake

Bring the Boys and the Girls to the Yard with this Chocolate Banana Shake

This Chocolate Banana Shake tastes decadent and naughty but beneath it’s sweet robust flavors bursts actually healthy nutritious elements that are actually good for you. High in protein and potassium this shake will give your shake the boost it needs to boogie down well into your day (and/or night). If you’re going to suck on a big chocolate banana, shake it up well and then get to slurping it down.

Suck on a Chocolate Banana Shake Recipe

What You Need:

  • 1 Frozen Banana
  • 1 Tablespoon of peanut butter
  • 1 Tablespoon of cacao powder
  • 1 Tablespoon of Honey
  • 1/2 to 1 cup of your milk of choice
  • Ice

What You Do:

Put all your ingredients in a blender and blend util smooth.

Pour into your glass of choice.

Suck through an eco-friendly glass straw–if you have one–for added suck power.

You can get glass straws here if you want to buy something for yourself today.

P.S.

Found this Jack Daniels Bung-Slinger glass at the local thrift store for a quarter, which felt like something I needed though still have no idea what a bung slinger is–sounds pretty pervy to me, I’m kind of afraid to look it up.

Anyway, Thanks for coming! 

I hope you’re enjoying BANANA MONTH thus far. For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes including more Bananas check out Frozen Chocolate Covered Bananas with Nuts.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

Frozen Chocolate Covered Bananas with Nuts

frozen bananas

They’re hard. They’re Chocolate. They’re nutty. 

It’s BANANA Month! 

Oh, yeah, because this shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Now that I have that song stuck in your head, I shall continue. I hated bananas until the age of 34. So, the banana boat is something I’m just now hopping onto. I still don’t really care for banana-flavored stuff but I do not think I’m alone here. 

Anyway, these frozen chocolate covered bananas are a perfect treat for yourself or your lover or both and easy enough to make that you’ll look like a real champ if you are looking for a fun and delicious way to celebrate the holiday of love aka Valentine’s Day. Or you just want a moderately healthy dessert to shove in your mouth. Before your bananas turn to mush turn them into this sweet treat and have them on hand anytime you’re in the mood for hard, chocolatey nuts on your tongue. 

Frozen Chocolate Covered Bananas with Nuts

What You Need:

  • 2 Bananas cut in half
  • 4 Popsicle sticks
  • ½ a bag of chocolate chips
  • Nuts of your choice (I used pecans and peanuts)

What You Do:

1.

On baking sheet with a piece of wax paper on top, put popsicle sticks up each banana

Let freeze for like 15-30 minutes

2. 

Once bananas have gotten hard, melt the chocolate–a microwave works best but a double-broiler works too (I have neither so it made this much more challenging)

3.

Dump some nuts on a plate. Dip, cover, coat each bananas in chocolate and then roll each banana in the nuts. Place back on wax paper.

4.

Freeze for like 30 more minutes than shove in mouth. Or store in ziplock bag until ready to eat. 

Thanks for coming! 

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes check out Go Eat a Carrot Hummus.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

Meat Wrapped Cream Stuffed Pickles

The Easiest Phallic Food Diet Recipe to Come!

Who can resist the flavors of meat, pickles, and cheese all wrapped up into one bite-sized tongue-gasm? Sure, you could eat a pickle by itself, or shove a piece of meat directly down your throat, but if you’re looking to impress yourself, your friends, or lover(s) then why not take one extra step and make these delicious treats? They are a party pleaser, whether that’s a party for one, a Big Game party, or an intimate evening at home binge-watching your favorite show with your romantic interest. 

Meat Wrapped Cream Stuffed Pickles Recipe

What You Need:

  • 12 slices of your favorite meat (I used pastrami)
  • 5 oz blue cheese crumbles
  • 8 oz spreadable cream cheese
  • 12 dill pickle spears

What You Do:

  1. Mix the blue cheese and cream cheese either in a bowl or a food processor 
  2. Place meat slices flat on a work surface, spread with the cream mixture.
  3. Place one pickle about an inch in on the meat, then roll it up. 
  4. You can refrigerate at this point for easier cutting or go ahead and cut into bite size slices. I discovered it was easier to cut both ends first and then work toward center. 
  5. Arrange on platter if serving company or shove directly in mouth if you’re enjoying your own company. These are actually really filling so let me know how many you can eat at once. (My record is 8.) 

Thanks for coming! 

For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes check out Go Eat a Carrot Hummus.

Support Go Eat a Carrot on Patreon for fun food facts and just the tip–sex tips, and more! 

Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here