Get Gross and Spooky with the Finger-Licking Good Hot Dogs
I suppose it was only time that we here at the Phallic Food Diet test kitchen turn a hot dog into a finger and send you on your way toward a good time. Severed Halloween hot dog fingers is a very simple recipe, particularly if you need a last minute spook-tacular idea or you want to mildly freak out your family or friends.
It really takes fingering to the next level.
Speaking of fingering. These severed Halloween hot dog fingers remind me of the time when I was in sixth grade jumping on the trampoline with all my friends. I was trying to show off my cartwheel flippy thing and being kind of an asshole about it from what I remember and I flipped right over the trampoline, landed on the back of my neck and hit my hand on the metal bar and broke my middle finger. I don’t know how I didn’t break my neck. I got very lucky.
I had to walk around school with this giant cast on my middle finger so it looked like I was constantly flipping everyone off and in middle school; that’s pretty much the dream right there.
Anyhoo. Halloween is by far my favorite holiday, with the darkness, the mystery, the intrigue and of course the costumes. Makes my fantasy mind go into overdrive. One day I’ll meet a pair of Luigi and Marios that want to take me to another level, you feel me? Anyhoo. Here are those bloody fingers.
Severed Halloween Hotdog Fingers Recipe
What You Need:
- Hot dogs
- Buns or quinoa
What You Do:
- Boil hot dogs via their packaged instructions.
- Remove from pot.
- With a paring knife (very carefully since these dogs are hot), cut the tip of the hot dog into the shape of a finger nail.
- From there, slice two slits where each knuckle on a finger would be (not all the way through). Cut the other end off.
- Place in buns or on top of quinoa for that maggot-like vibe and squeeze a bunch of ketchup on the ends so they look nice and bloody and gross.
- Serve to all your ghost and gobblin friends for a frightening fingering fun time.
Loving what you’re getting so far? Get other Phallic Food diet recipes. Including more like the Gluten-Free Tuna Cucumber Sandwiches.
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