Crescent Wrapped Hot & Spicy Pickles

Turn Your Boring Crescent Rolls Into an Addicting Phallic Food Diet Appetizer 

Moist, creamy, irresistible pickle apps that will please a party

I’ve been putting off making these crescent wrapped hot & spicy pickles because I thought there would be no way I could eat all of them by myself. Finally I got invited to a small dinner party and they didn’t last 10 minutes. Everyone loved these, I mean, how can you beat bacon, cheese, pickles, and buttery carbs? Perhaps not the healthiest phallic food diet recipe, but damn, these are so good. If you need a quick and easy appetizer that’s guaranteed to be a crowd-pleaser then this might become your newest go-to! 

If you’re not into spicy pickles you can change out the choice of cheese and the style of pickle you’re using– mozzarella + garlic pickles would be good, dill + cheddar, bread & butter + muenster. Combinations are endless. I love a little spice though, so there you go.  

Crescent Wrapped Hot & Spicy Pickles Recipe

What You Need:

  • 6 ounces of cream cheese
  • 5-6 slices of bacon
  • 1 cup shredded pepper jack or cheese of your choice
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • ½ teaspoon Garlic Powder
  • ½ teaspoon Cumin 
  • Pinch or more of Cayenne Pepper 
  • 1 tube crescent rolls
  • 1 Jar Hot & Spicy Pickles Spears (or flavor of your choice) 
  • 8 pickle spears, halved
  • 1 Egg

What You Do:

  1. Soften your cream cheese

2. Cook and crumble your bacon

3. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

4. Unroll the crescent rolls then cut down the middle of each lengthwise place on baking sheet. 

5. In a bowl, mix the cream cheese, crumbled bacon, shredded cheese, spices, and salt and pepper. 

6. Cut pickles into thirds, or the size of the widest length of the crescent roll. 

7. Scoop the cream cheese filling on each of the crescent rolls, put one piece of pickle on top, roll them all up. 

8. Make egg wash by whisking up an egg, brush each crescent wrap with the egg wash.

9. Bake for about 13-15 minutes until golden brown on top and slightly oozy out the sides.

10. Let cool slightly then put on serving plate.


For more Phallic Food Diet Recipes check out my Bangers and Smashers recipe (Irish sausage + mashed parsnip and potatoes) here.

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Listen to my latest interview all about the Phallic Food Diet and my new book, Corn Tits on the Chubstep Podcast here

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