Tell Me If This Is Funny: Hips & Hitachi Magic Wand 


My Hips Don’t Lie

Before we begin, let’s take a moment to talk about the history of the Hitachi Magic Wand.

The Hitachi Magic Wand was invented in Japan as an AC-powered wand vibrator to relieve tension, body aches, and sore muscles. It came out onto the market in America in 1968.

I’m not sure if anyone ever used it for its intended purposes.

For over 50 years people, mostly women, but also men, have been using this device as a sex toy.

Hear the joke here!

It is by far the most powerful vibrator I have ever used and I have tried and tested many, many, many. I actually chose to not buy the Hitachi Magic Wand when I first started working as a sex toy saleswoman because I had heard the rumors and I didn’t want it to ruin me.

I was afraid the vibrations would be so intense I would never want to use any other toy ever again, because I’m a high-vibe type of gal. Plus, the thing is big and bulky and I didn’t want to have to carry it around everywhere I went.

Eventually, though I succumbed. Or better yet, a very thoughtful person who follows Go Eat a Carrot bought it for me to test out (feel free to buy me something to test out too here). And my life was changed.

I love the Hitachi Magic Wand, just like I knew that I would. Of course, I still have other favorites, like the Lelo Sona Cruise and the We-Vibe Tango, but those are stories for other days.

Let me get to the point.

A couple of mornings ago I had gotten back from a yoga class, I had showered and was resting peacefully in my bed. I decided that I should masturbate. I wasn’t that turned on, but it seemed like I should get it out of the way in case I became turned on later and there was nothing I could do about it. So, I whipped out the Hitachi.

As I turned on Pornhub and started going at it, I realized that my hips were quite sore.

I tried to ignore it.

But the more I vibrated, the more my hips were like WTF?

It was at this point that my true age was revealed. I was no longer a young whipper-snapper. I was in fact, in my almost-mid thirties.

I took the hitachi and started using it for its initial purpose–as a body massager. And boy, were my hips happy.

My clit on the other hand, was not amused.

TLDR:

You know you’re in your thirties when you go to masturbate and end up using your Hitachi on your aching hips instead.

30s:

When you start using your body massager as a body massager.

Sore muscles? Body aches? Untapped desire? Want to try the Hitachi out for yourself?

Buy it here:

Hitachi Magic Wand Massager

Become a patron on Patreon for more goodies all month, every month.

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One thought on “Tell Me If This Is Funny: Hips & Hitachi Magic Wand 

  1. So can relate to using any body massager as, well, a body massager. And yes, the Hitachi is God! Forget the imitations. Spend the extra and go Hitachi. I’m 50 btw.

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