Weird Sex Wednesday: 3 Weird Ways to Use Semen

Fascinating Things People Have Done with Semen

Or

Interesting Facts About Semen

Semen–we refer to it with all sorts of different words and phrases.

For example:

  • Splooge
  • Jizz
  • Nut
  • Cock snot
  • Pecker Spit
  • Cum
  • Dong Water
  • Spunk
  • Weiner Sauce…

There are over a hundred different ways to say it.

But did you know that people have attempted to use it for other things besides making babies? That’s right, along with about 1% sperm, semen contains ascorbic acid, calcium, citric acid, enzymes, fructose sugar, phosphate and bicarbonate buffers, protein, water and zinc. And it only has about 0.7 calories and 171 milligrams of protein.

(Yeah, that whole rumor about semen having as much protein as an egg–false unless you’re drinking it like a smoothie, in which case you’d need at least a half of a cup to get that amount of protein).

Here are 3 Weird Uses For Semen

1.

Write Me a Load Letter: Semen As Invisible Ink

During World War 1, the British Secret Intelligence Service (M16) was attempting to find an effective invisible ink— they believed to have found it with semen. Along with it being readily and easily available, it also did not react to main methods of detection including iodine vapor.

Get this though, the Chief Officer looking further into these discoveries was named Mansfield Cumming. So it begs the question, was he born for this exact line of work? It’s unclear whatever happened with regard to invisible ink semen, the agent was removed because everyone kept making fun of him, and I guess there was a strange smell that started happening after people started writing notes with their jizz juice.

2.

Serve Me Up Some of that Yum Yum Man Chowder
Yes, it’s true someone out there (by the name of Fotie Photenhauer) has released a book called Natural Harvest full of semen-infused recipes from drinks to entrees to desserts!

Now, I doubt this book is as good as my Phallic Diet Cookbook is going to be, but I did browse through a few of the pages on Amazon and the recipes didn’t look that bad.

Would I personally want to add semen to any of my food or drinks, nah. But someone out there certainly would (and has and will continue to do it). Also, this would make a great gag gift, if you’re in search of one.


If you’re looking for another laugh (or you want to buy this thing) check out the comments on the Amazon Reviews of this book. I died.

Here’s the link to the book: Natural Harvest

3.

A New Reason for a White Gold Facial

A Norwegian company has created a facial cream that contains sperm. They decided to do this because sperm has an antioxidant in it called spermine that is believed to “help diminish wrinkles, smooth skin, and clear up acne.” According to all the sources I could find on this matter a spermine facial costs about $250. Umm, well, what if we just allowed the guy to jizz on our face and we call it even?

Male Sex Toys 300x250

Finally, whenever you’re feeling down, remember that out of about 200 million sperm ejaculated out from an average of about a half a teaspoon of love liquor–you were the one fast enough and strong enough to be made into you! In that sense, you have won at least one race. Was the human race the best race to win? I don’t know. But here we are. Congrats on your accomplishment.

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