How to Talk to Women in Public

Conversation Starters: The ‘Where You From’?


Getting Deeper to Go Deeper

Once upon a time, I met this super sexy guy at a bar. Okay, this may have happened more than once, but I’m talking about a very specific time. I gave him my number and a couple of days later he texts me, “Hi.”

I reply with something like, “Hi? You can do better than that.”

The next text he sends, “So, where are you from?”

I never respond.

Did I mention this guy was fucking hot?

I just couldn’t engage. I was already bored.

I’m not sure what’s gotten into people but over the weekend about eight different guys asked me, “So, where are you from?”

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Y’all I’m from Kansas. As you can imagine, this is not the best conversation starter to make, at least with me.

I’m not saying it’s right or it’s wrong. It’s one way to break the ice for sure. Yet, I feel we all have the capability to up our game a bit here. Maybe it’s because I’m pretty introverty and small-talk makes me uncomfortable. There’s nothing wrong with where I’m from at least in the sense that I can’t really control it, but I don’t live there anymore for very good reasons.

Perhaps you’re the type of person that isn’t really looking for any depth in conversations with other people. That’s fine, continue talking about the weather or sports or whatever.

If you are the type of person though and you find conversing with others to be excruciating most of the time here are some suggestions.

First, find a way to draw more details out from your questions. This way the person you’re talking to can easily bring up why they’re interesting, which makes it so they feel they’re interesting and will like you more because of it.

For example, let’s take the “where you from” situation and spin it.

Person One: So, how long have you lived in Colorado?
Person Two: Oh, I’ve been out here for about eight years.
Person One: That’s rad, what’s your favorite part about living here?

Next example:

Person One: So, how long have you lived in Colorado?
Person Two: Oh, I’m just visiting for the week.
Person One: Oh cool, from where?
Person Two: Idaho
Person One: Idaho?! Wow. I don’t know much about Idaho, what would you say is the most interesting thing about Idaho?

Next example:

Person One: So, how long have you lived in Colorado?
Person Two: I’ve been here my whole life.
Person One: Okay, bye!

Hahaha. Just kidding natives calm the fuck down.

You get the idea here. There has to be a tiny bit more to it or it turns into flat meaningless garbage and you’ll barely be remembered. This works beyond wanting to hit on someone you’re attracted to too, this also goes for any type of situation in which you have to engage in conversation with a stranger or someone you barely know.

Aka work events.

Aka Parties in which you know no one but the one person who left you to fend for yourself.

Aka Family functions when you don’t really know the family that’s attempting to function.

Consider what you really want to know about the person you’re talking to. In many circumstances, you might not really want to know anything except you have to talk to them because it would be even more awkward if you didn’t.

Try to learn something new from them.

Then you’ll leave the convo with more knowledge than you went in with and that’s at least better than knowing they’re from San Diego or wherever. You could even ask that specific question–“What’s something interesting you learned this week or today or in your lifetime?”

If they can’t think of anything ask them how they’re even functioning on this planet as an adult and then walk away very quickly.

One thought on “How to Talk to Women in Public

  1. We’ve been bombarded with examples of white privilege and male privilege. Here’s a great example of female privilege. “Oh no, EIGHT guys hit on me this weekend and they all used the same ice-breaker. It’s so terrible!” “Ack, that really hot guy had the guts to reach out and I just ignored him because I didn’t like the way he was trying to get to know me and look for some common ground to talk about. The nerve!”

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