A Review of Lovehoney’s Bumper Booty Bundle Anal Sex Toy Kit
Enjoy The Final Days of Anal August
When I decided to make Anal August my theme this month I didn’t realize how, well, anal, people would be about it. It was much more difficult to find someone who wanted to explore the back door than I thought it would be. Perhaps it didn’t help that I was going through a break-up and anal play isn’t great with regards to fight fucking and/or crying into your pillow alone.
I was on a mission though. Lovehoney was kind enough to send me their Bumper Booty Bundle Anal Sex Toy Kit and I promised to review it.
Finally, just in the nick of time, I was able to try almost everything in the kit out–solo and with a partner.
Anal is weird. Like, I’ve made it a personal rule to only have anal sex with boyfriends. I think I’ve done this because I’m so easy everywhere else and it’s nice to create a boundary where the other person can feel a bit more special. (Plus, anal is a lot of work.)
Of course, sticking toys up the bum is different than a dick. For one, they’re typically smaller– at least with the dicks I meet.
So here’s what I thought about my most recent exploration of butt toys.
My Anal Toy Review
The Bumper Booty Bundle Anal Sex Kit comes with 6 different items.
Two different sized butt plugs, anal beads, a prostate toy, an anal douche, and a bullet vibe.
If you’re new to anal then I would definitely recommend this kit.
For one it’s at a very affordable price for all that you’re getting and it gives you quite a variety for your explorative ways.
Let’s start with the anal douche as that is where one should start if they’re getting this kit.
I want to be upfront here. I had never used an anal douche before this one. Before I get into my commentary I’ll tell you right now that I failed at using it properly. This was definitely user error and not the product itself.
The whole point of an anal douche is so you can rinse out your butt and feel cleaner, but you don’t NEED to douche your anal hole if you eat enough fiber, poop regularly, and avoid scarfing down a bunch of Taco Bell right before you stick something up there. Yes, you might get a bit of shit on the toy but it’s not like it will be drenched in it or anything.
I followed the directions.
I filled the douche up with tepid clean water.
I put lube on the toy and my butt hole.
I squatted over the bathtub then stuck it in.
This is where I got umm stuck…. I squeezed the balloon thing and no water would come out.
I don’t know, maybe I wasn’t strong enough. I started to get freaked out because only air was coming out and I remember reading about women who have died from having air blown up their vaginas (which I looked up can actually happen but is incredibly rare) and thought that maybe the same thing could happen in the butt hole. Was I high and a bit paranoid, I don’t know, maybe. Anyway, I squeezed it. The water didn’t want to come out, so I gave up. I will try this again of course, but that was my first experience with it.
After my failed anal douching attempt I headed back to the bedroom and explored the toys.
They’re all made from high-quality silicone. I’m a pretty snobby bitch when it comes to the material of sex toys, so “high quality” is tolerable though I’d prefer medical-grade. You can tell if something is made from actual quality silicone by the smell. If it smells like chemicals and plastic then it is made from chemicals and plastic no matter what the description says on the label (yes, some companies lie, imagine that). Anyhoo, these toys don’t have that weird smell (they MIGHT have a weird smell AFTER being in your butt, but that’s an entirely different situation there.)
I pulled the bullet vibe out of the anal beads (which takes some muscle and maneuvering so don’t get discouraged about that it just means the bullet will stay put when it’s in the toy) and I put a triple-A battery inside it. It’s actually nice that this bullet takes a triple-A battery because a lot of the cheaper bullets use watch batteries which not only suck to deal with but also don’t last very long. The bullet was pretty powerful too, though some of the settings were way better than others.
With regards to bullet vibes, I’d recommend people invest in the We-Vibe Tango. It’s compatible with any toy that has a bullet hole in the base (like all of these bumper booty toys), it’s rechargeable, made from medical-grade material AND the best part–it’s super duper powerful. (You can check out the We-Vibe Tango for yourself here.)
Next, I stuck the bullet vibe that came with the kit into the larger-sized butt plug. I decided to skip using the smaller butt plug because I am not a beginner. If you are a beginner and have stuck no thing up your butt ever than the smaller butt plug is a good place to start. It doesn’t have a hole for the vibe because it too small to handle it.
Here’s what’s so interesting about anal sex to me. It takes a type of mindfulness to execute properly. Entry into the butt requires lube and relaxation. I used the Wicked Sensual Water-Based Anal Lube (which you can buy here) took a deep breath and slowly pushed the plug in.
The initial entry is where there is always the most struggle and pain. (If there’s A LOT of pain I’d suggest stopping and applying more lube or stopping altogether.) Once it’s inside though it’s smooth sailing. The vibe was strong enough I could definitely feel it. I needed more than just butt stimulation for an orgasm though, so I added on my Lelo Sona Cruise (read my full review here or explore the Sona for yourself here).
Side note. I watched porn while using these toys. It was some Australian thing with two women and two men. One of the women was like mega-porn looking (fake tits, fake lips, too much makeup) the other one claimed to be 18 when she was at least 28 while the dude who was fucking her claimed to be 53 when he was at least 65. The whole thing weirded me out. Like, I get this is supposed to be a fantasy, but this was more of a fantasy between the four of them than for the audience.
Finally. The following day, my manfriend came over and stuck the anal beads in my ass.
I replaced the original bullet with the We-Vibe Tango and could feel a bit more power in this toy because of that. This was my first time using anal beads. They went in fine. We fucked doggie-style and as he would thrust it would move the toy slightly back and forth which was a pleasurable feeling. We were not able to pull them out during my orgasm because he came first. Jerk.
I will have to try them again though because I really want to know if that heightens the orgasm or not. I have a feeling that it would work better on men than women because of the whole prostate thing.
Speaking of prostate thing, I do not have one so I did not play with that toy. Yes, I could have stuck it up some dude’s butt, but as I said at the beginning of this rather lengthy review no one would agree to it. It looks like it could be fun, particularly for people who are just starting out in their prostate exploration as it is not too large and has a good curve to it.
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