Yes, I’m Still Stuck In Bed, But I’m Working
Help! Send Food. And Beer.
Sure. I like talking about SEX. But that was never the entire intention of Go Eat a Carrot. The purpose was for me to let loose on all the truth I have bottled up in me. And what’s true today is that I’m tired of trying to conform to other people’s desires. Yes, there’s an entire world out there of sexploration to be had, but I’m not in the mood.
There I said it, the horniest woman on the planet is not in the mood.
We must have entered an alternate universe.
I’m hot. I’m overheated. I’m bordering the line of anger and depression. I could cave in and just embrace the gray but why do that when I can fight it off?
I haven’t been to the grocery store in weeks. The last thing I ate yesterday was BBQ leftover from my friend’s 4th of July party. You know, a party that happened more than a week ago. Somehow I’m still alive and mostly getting all of my calories from beer, which I also ran out of last night.
You know in Denver you can get all of the above delivered to you? Groceries, beer, even sex if you know how to use Tinder right.
But I refuse! I have two legs. I can walk to the store. Yet, I don’t. I open the fridge and go,
‘oh look, three rotting limes and one old carrot. Guess I’ll come back and look in here again in 15 minutes and hope things have changed.”
At least I still have hope even though nothing changes unless you actually do the things that make changes, hence why I’m still stuck here, hungry, thinking about making a lime/carrot juice.
Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!
Follow me on all the Social Media
Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)
Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands: