Are You Cool Enough to Live in Denver?

Time to Move On Or Fight for Improved Cool?


Maybe I Just Need Another Vacation…

The other night my friends and I went to a dance party happening at a bar on South Broadway. There we bumped into a group of people that sort of circle around our circle (and when I say “bumped” I mean they were literally trying to dancepush us off the floor so their crew could all fit, but my ass is way bigger than all of there’s so it worked the other way, thanks ass). Speaking of ass, here’s what I’ve really been struggling with.

Am I jealous of these people because they’re way cooler than me or do I just dislike these people because they’re a bunch of whiny assholes who try way too hard to be cool when really what they’re doing is masking their deep-seated insecurities and daddy/mommy-issues?

Before you get all butt-hurt and think I’m being super judgy, let me state this, when I say that my friend circle circles around their friend circle, what I’m saying is that we all like a lot of the same things and go to the same places. We’ve partied together. We’ve gotten drunk and fucked up and had actual conversations.

I can’t figure out if I want to do those things with them more of the time, less, or never again.

When I see them out they sure look cool. I’m talking specifically style here. Yet, when I watch them interact with each other it seems like they’re not really friends but people using each other to make each other look “cooler.”

Now, one of the editors from the Atlantic (who was my editor when I wrote the women in beer brewing piece here) wrote a book on Popular v. Cool called Hit Makers: The Science of Popularity in an Age of Distraction; I haven’t read it (feel free to buy it for me from my wishlist) but I listened to a convo he had discussing the topic. To sum it up, I believe what he’s saying is that you can’t be popular and cool at the same time. Once something becomes too popular it crosses an invisible “not cool” line. Perhaps that’s why so many of these people struggle to become actually successful at being musicians and artists.

I’m not saying they’re not talented, I’m saying they’re afraid to become popular because then they could lose the only thing they understand: how to look cool.

I love that there are so many amazing creative people in this city. I even love and like a lot of these cool peoples’ music and art and photography. Yet, I still don’t really like them.

I wonder if it’s better to experience them only through their creations, only by their exterior facade than by actually trying to get to know them. Or maybe I should quit being an asshole to them and try a little harder to understand their motivations and inspirations and life choices.

Nah. That sounds tiring.

After careful consideration I have concluded that I am neither popular or cool, but If I had to choose between the two I’d choose popular. I’d choose popular only because there’s a much better chance I’d be rich. In all fairness, I’d rather just be rich and be able to sit out alone by a fancy fucking pool with a tropical drink and a good book.

Cheers to all the non-cool geeks, and freaks, and weirdos.

Perhaps a cool person can explain some of this to me sometime. . .? Or would that be breaking the cool-code?

Become a Go Eat A Carrot Patron on Patreon!

Follow me on all the Social Media


Show support by purchasing something for me from my Amazon Wish List (I’ll review whatever gets sent my way!)

Need Toys? Here Are Links to My Top 3 Favorite Brands:




Leave a Reply