If You’re Happy and You Know It, You’re Probably Masturbating

It’s Masturbation Monday!

or

Let’s Get Off Together, Alone

What better day to masturbate than the day after the weekend. You know that entire weekend where you didn’t get laid at all?! Or maybe you did– and now you have something to think about while you masturbate instead of just looking at porn hub. Either way, Monday is the perfect day to masturbate. Actually, any day ending in a Y is a good day to masturbate, but Monday and Masturbate both start with an M, so here we are, because … MMMMMM.

What is masturbation exactly?

Well, it’s different for every person out there, but essentially it’s when you take the time to pleasure yourself in a sexual manner. Does eating ice cream on the couch while watching Broad City count as masturbation?! I don’t know, did you experience any sort of orgasmic pleasure during the event? If so then yes, if not it’s perhaps is just pleasure for pleasure’s sake.

Moving on.

Why would a person masturbate?

Did you know that there are like a least three dozen reasons?

Some benefits of masturbation include:

  • Better Sleep
  • Stress Relief
  • Strengthens Your Pelvic Floor
  • Relieves Menstrual Cramps
  • Improves Your Immune System
  • Gets You More Intune With Your Body
  • Increases Self-Esteem

Oh, and you also get to have an orgasm without anyone else there to witness your O face. Oooo yes.

Plus, no one is there to give you an STI or look at you funny while you making those weird dolphin shrieks that for some reason get you off.

Yes, yes, yes! There are many reasons to masturbate. And now, every Monday I will be exploring the different realms of masturbation, from sex toy reviews to funny stories, to tips and tricks about getting off so you can move on with your day (or just go to sleep sooner).

Come on!

Indeed. Come to me and show me some support.

New to Go Eat A Carrot:

You can now trade with me! That’s right, from panties to pics to private convos, there’s something for everyone to get from me (if the price is right)! Check out my support page to get even closer to me (and help Go Eat a Carrot and Krystal herself continue to live on.)

Let’s all show ourselves some more love, yeah?

Happy Masturbation Monday 🙂

P.S.
May is also National Masturbation Month. I know I’m a little behind the times, but stay tuned next week for my favorite vibrator review!

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