Ghosting. The art of not texting back.
Ghosting. The art of ignoring someone’s text forever, like ya dead.
Ghosting. Pretending to not exist so you feel no guilt about not liking someone and thus never texting them back.
Ghosting Part 1: Why People Ghost
Almost any single person who has a cell phone and has casually dated has ghosted or been ghosted. At this point, it’s as common as the one night stand itself.
Of course, there could be other reasons why the person isn’t texting you back.
Here are 5 potential (legit) reasons for texts not being returned.
- Their phone is dead. (This can and does happen, but how long can a person without a phone in these modern times, one day, two… a week maybe?)
- Their phone died and they lost all their contact information (ugh, have you heard of facebook stalking?!)
- Someone stole their phone and sold it on eBay.
- They decided to go on a silent retreat.
- They traveled to the middle of nowhere and they have no cell phone reception.
Sure, sure, any of those events are plausible. But, if you text a person and they do not respond within a few days they are either ghosting you or you are in no way a priority in their busy busy lives.
9 Reasons Why a Person Would Ghost Another Person
- As the stupid fucking self-help dating book once said (a million times) perhaps they’re “just not into you.”
- They’re chicken-shit and don’t know how to say they’re not interested.
- They have no idea HOW to text.
- They saw the text, responded in their head, but forgot to do it in reality, and then they were embarrassed and decided to never talk to you again.
- They discovered you were actually a crazy person and thought it best to slowly back away and ignore.
- You’re just not very interesting and they don’t have time for you.
- They don’t have time for you even though you are very interesting.
- The person is an asshole.
- The person actually died.
All of these things can and do happen. But, what do you do when you’re on the (not) receiving end of a Ghost?
Ghosting Part 2: How to Overcome the Ghost
Sure, yes, it sucks to be into someone and for them to not give you the attention you want back in the time-frame you expect their attention to return to you. Yet, here is my advice to you (and to myself… because yeah, I have gone through this too).
Put your phone down.
Go do something else.
Quit fucking caring about getting validation from someone else.
I know it’s easier said than done.
Once you start doing it though, it gets WAY easier and you’ll feel better overall anyway separating from the technology that keeps you down. Binds you to the constant scroll, the constant need for other people to pay attention to you.
If someone doesn’t text you back, it’s on them, not you.
It doesn’t matter the reason. It could be valid or it could be stupid regardless it’s not a reflection of who YOU are, it’s a reflection of them.
If you desire more attention, if you want someone involved in your life and that Ghost wants to be dead to you, let them be dead.
You don’t need to deal with the dead when being alive is hard enough as it is.
Ghosting: Bonus Part 3: A Better Way to Ghost
Finally, from my own personal experiences with ghosts and ghosting, I do my best to tell a person, “hey, I didn’t really feel a connection, but it was great meeting you. Good luck out there.” Then of course, if they continue to text me I will ghost. I will also accidentally ghost from time to time (see #4 and #8 and prob #6 or #7). I try not to beat myself up about it. I try to just carry on. As we all should.
RIP ghosts. RIP.