IUDs and Period Sex, You In?

Should You Get an IUD?

Should You Have Period Sex?

I’ve never wanted children. I’ve been around children. They suck. You can argue with me all you want, but I was a child once myself and I know that they suck. I sucked then. I suck now. Go eat a carrot.

I will confess I did consider having children once. Of course, I had eaten a bunch of mushrooms and the universe was trying to tell me all sorts of things about how I should live my life. For example, the mushrooms also told me to become a tree, so we know that I can’t take those ideas too seriously. (Wouldn’t actually mind being a tree though.)

In July of 2014, I got an IUD placed inside my uterus (as that is where they go since they are also known as the intrauterine device). The one I have is called the ParaGard; it’s the one made out of copper and contains no hormones.

According to the Planned Parenthood website:

The ParaGard IUD uses copper to prevent pregnancy. Sperm doesn’t like copper, so the ParaGard IUD makes it almost impossible for sperm to get to that egg.

But we all know what copper really does to sperm– it chops the little sperms heads off (insert cackle here).

The other thing the IUD does (at least to my body) is it makes me spot like ALL the time.

This is really annoying. Mostly to my underwear. It’s also annoying for my sex life.

I like to whisper sweet nothings into my sex partner’s ear to get us warmed up; sentences like, “there will be blood, part 2,” and “let’s put down an old towel,” and “I hope you have some hydrogen peroxide you can put on your sheets after I leave.” Sexy stuff like that.

Because if the woman is on her period or spotting or whatever and she wants to have sex and you want to have sex and you both want to have sex with each other then you should just go ahead and HAVE SEX!!!

There will always be weird fluids going every which way during sex. Straight and bi and pan women and gay and bi and pan men (and straight men masturbating) have to deal with dude-jizz all the fucking time. Some people even eat dude-jizz and the protein content is NOT as high as guys like to claim.

According to Jezebel:

…you’d actually have to drink nearly 4 oz (a half cup) of semen to match the protein of one egg white.

A half a cup of jizz? I’ll pass.

But you know what people shouldn’t pass on?

Drinking period blood.

Just kidding. Everyone calm the fuck down.

But seriously. What’s one more fluid to a bed full of fluids? Just have the sexy period sex; put a towel down, take a shower, move on with your life a little bit happier and healthier.

Agree? Disagree? Tell me more. . .

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