My Funniest Grossest Sexual Encounter Yet!

I’m so sexy I literally make people sick with my sexiness

or

Why I should try to meet men someplace other than at bars

It’s Saturday, which means most of you are at brunch or out for a hike or not on your computer, which is why today I’m telling my grossest funniest sex story because then most of you probably will not hear it.

Of course, it’s probably not the grossest. I’m not sure if it’s even the funniest. Another time I was going to have sex with this guy, he went to put a condom on, five seconds later he said, “nevermind.”

“What?” I asked.

“This isn’t going to work.”

“Why?”

“I put the condom on inside out.”

“That’s okay just get a new one.”

“I can’t.”

“Why? There are like a dozen in that box right there.”

“I just came.”

Womp Womp.

It happens. But guys, when this happens you can overcome the coming to quickly by getting her off.

I believe this is where men faltered. They retreat because they’re embarrassed, but there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s the human body. Things happen. What’s embarrassing is when you leave a grrrl hanging. When you scramble to go because of your shame. Do not be ashamed. Just get her OFF.

Also. With regard to the story in the video, if you’re having sex with someone and you feel like you need to throw-up, you should probably stop having sex with that person and go and throw-up, then drink a glass of water, and then go to sleep. It’s pretty gross to try to rally through or throw-up and come back in. No thank you.

P.S. Do not type “grossest” in ‘image search’ unless you want to make yourself sick right now without even having sex with me.

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