I May Have Just Gone On The Worst Date In My Entire Life

Was this the worst date of my life?

or

Wow, maybe try like just 1% harder and you’d get laid.

I’ve been on hundreds of dates in my life. Tinder dates. OK Cupid Dates. Dates with people I met in real life (yes, it can happen). Even a blind date once (in high school before the internet was a thing).

Perhaps this was a reflection of me to have chosen this guy; he was insecure and couldn’t hold a conversation to save his life; he did have nice arms and I have a near-fetish thing for arms so I could have been temporarily stuck in my ID when I swiped right.

I asked him what he believed in and he couldn’t answer. I asked him what he wanted and he didn’t know.
I literally said, “I want to have an engaging conversation and then if it’s engaging enough I’ll fuck you.”

I’m in rebound mode so it doesn’t take much right now.

I did not fuck him. Or do anything except leave and go to a bar by myself because I’d rather spend time with me than with someone who can’t talk to other people.

Here are three quick and easy dating tips:

1. Ask questions that you actually want to know the answer to.
2. If you don’t care about the answers don’t go on a date JUST fuck them and leave.
3. Know what you want.

When you know what you want you can actually get the things that you want AND knowing what you want makes you way more confident than people who do not.

Confidence is the sexiest quality to have… that and nice arms and big ole’ brains.

Also, I woke up with this Throwback Thursday song playing on repeat in my head. It pretty much sums up what I was thinking while this date was happening.

“I’ve been waiting for a dose of your personality. If I’m in the mood and if all goes right, baby you will be, you will be, going home with me tonight.”

It just never quite got to the personality part.

In the end, I do wish him the best luck. I hope he can find a way to come out of his shell a little bit more and let people in or find a woman who likes a guy who never speaks. I’m sure they’re out there. Like, maybe a woman who really loves to talk constantly so there’s never a gap and he can just smile and nod and then they can bang and live happily ever after.

3 thoughts on “I May Have Just Gone On The Worst Date In My Entire Life

  1. This was sad and somewhat painful to read. So, why did I read it? Not sure.

    If you had to resort to this…and you put getting laid on the table so easily…I would honestly be worried about you (as a friend, if I was one) and suggest taking time to regroup and rethink your dating strategy. Buuuut, if this is your norm and you sleep with dates regularly, heaven forbid I sound like the “judgy prude;” I’ll just pick up my non-alcoholic drink and go sit at a corner table by myself. 🙂

    I’ll go with the first dating tip you give. I think that’s fine strategy; get out in the open all you can about the person you are meeting (without sending them packing because you doth asked too much). But, the more you can learn up front, the less you have to be surprised by later after you let your swoon take you too far.

    I suspect your date was put off by something. Either he didn’t expect you to be as you were and had no good responses, or he was not feeling his best in the moment. Crap happens. But, you don’t have to lose your cool, grab the guy by the junk and scream, “ANSWER ME AND I’LL F’ YOUR BRAINS OUT!”

    Sometimes, confidence (and a pair of nice arms) is (are) just a distraction/ploy. A guy with loads of swagger and a nice bod may be no better than this guy. Because so many say they are looking for confidence or think confidence is sexy, don’t you think that already gets into people’s heads before they engage in a date? Either they take it to heart and cannot muster confidence or they surely put on an act to meet expectations. How many genuinely have confidence and just walk around going, “Check. Got that.” That is…with the exception of those couples that meet without seeking a date; instead, they just click when they meet or introduce one to the other at some place of common interest.

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  2. Firstly, thank you for sharing your opinion.

    Secondly, it did sound like slut-shaming to me, the whole “If you had to resort to this…and you put getting laid on the table so easily…I would honestly be worried about you.” Clearly we have different perspectives on sexuality. I’m still not entirely sure why it was painful for you to read or why you continued to read it and/or why you bothered to comment if you were so grossed out by it.

    Also, I feel like your description of the events were false and over-dramatic. There’s nothing wrong with me saying that I want to have an engaging conversation and that I also want to have sex. I got neither of those things, but I didn’t lose my cool about it or “grab the guy by the junk and scream, “ANSWER ME AND I’LL F’ YOUR BRAINS OUT!”

    I don’t correlate swagger with confidence and I don’t think a person has to be super fit to be confident. If a person is going on a date and they’re intimidated and nervous about being confident on the date then I’d say they’re generally not confident. Hence WHY confidence is sexy, not someone pretending to be confident. It’s not a ploy to be secure in who you are, to know what you want, and to be able to have conversation about those things.

    Again, I appreciate your comment. I don’t agree with you, but I’m grateful that you’ve given me some things to think about.

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